Who is in the right?

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Salam Alaykum

Our parents are away on a business trip and our parents told my older sister to care for me. I am 12 and she is 17 and our parents gave us some money to spend to treat ourselves and have some fun, buy food and go out but my sister is spending all of the money on herself and not giving me any of the money because she says I am not being good but she is being un fair to me. She is making me clean my room and change my bed covers and everything! When our parents are here my mum does all that for me.

And she says that if I am good then I can have some money but even when I do everything she says she just gives me a little bit and she takes a lot and goes out with her friends. I phoned our parents and they just told me to do what my sister tells me to but she is not being fair! Our parents said she has to look after me but this does not mean boss me around and tell me to do everything! She even sends me to my room when I argue back to her but she is my sister and not my mother she cannot tell me what to do every time.

She is trying to be an adult and treat me like I am 7 or something and she laughs when I get mad at her :raging: our parents left that money for both of us so half of it is mine and half of it is hers but she is taking all of it for herself.

Is she being un fair? Please reply here so I can show her.
 
Wa alaykumussalam young brother

I think your sister is right in this case. It´s hers duty she got from your parents to take care about you. Also it´s ok she orders you to clean your room by yourself and keep your bed in order. You aren´t a little child any more and also you should learn to keep your room and bed in order, not wait that your mother makes all work. Also because she is older she knows better how to use the money. Because your parents didn´t leave half money to you and half to her but all to hers pocket, it seems that also your parents trust her.

Speak always kindly to your sister. Don´t argue with her back because she obiviously just caring about you. And please, show this answer to her with my salams. :statisfie
 
:bism:

:sl:

Hi, hun! Masha-Allah (as God willed), you're a big boy now: 12! Whew! That's a big age!

I know things kinda seem unfair and stuff, and I remember how it was kinda like when adults used to boss me around when I was little too. So, I understand how you feel, k?

That said, your sister is older than you, and in Islam, we're supposed to respect people who are older to us. So, just give her a chance, k?

I know it's hard but listen to her. And be nice to her cause God will be pleased with you that way and also pray to God that she's nice to you and gives you the money In-sha-Allah (God-willing) and you can then spend it in the way you like.

And sis herb is right, ya know. I know your mom cleans your room for you, but imagine how proud of you she would be if she found out that you're doing it on your own! Cause you're now a bit like the "man of the house," and that means you'll have to show that you're responsible. When you show you are a responsible guy, next time your parents will give you your share of the money from the beginning In-sha-Allah (God-willing) instead of letting your sister to decide when and how she's going to give it to you. Make sense?

So, just be a little patient. And don't show her that she's getting to you, k?

:wa:




Goku_u said:
Salam Alaykum

Our parents are away on a business trip and our parents told my older sister to care for me. I am 12 and she is 17 and our parents gave us some money to spend to treat ourselves and have some fun, buy food and go out but my sister is spending all of the money on herself and not giving me any of the money because she says I am not being good but she is being un fair to me. She is making me clean my room and change my bed covers and everything! When our parents are here my mum does all that for me.

And she says that if I am good then I can have some money but even when I do everything she says she just gives me a little bit and she takes a lot and goes out with her friends. I phoned our parents and they just told me to do what my sister tells me to but she is not being fair! Our parents said she has to look after me but this does not mean boss me around and tell me to do everything! She even sends me to my room when I argue back to her but she is my sister and not my mother she cannot tell me what to do every time.

She is trying to be an adult and treat me like I am 7 or something and she laughs when I get mad at her :raging: our parents left that money for both of us so half of it is mine and half of it is hers but she is taking all of it for herself.

Is she being un fair? Please reply here so I can show her.
Click to expand...
 
Wa Alaikum Salaam brother,

I can imagine how frustrating for you is to read these answers...

As was mention above, you are the Man in the house. Yet young one.
You are is in the age, when a boy learning to be a man.

Adults have more freedom than children, that's true and may seem unfair for those young who are eager for their freedom.
But freedom imply responsibility first of all.
Imagine, what if your father one day will decide that he don't want to earn money any more?
Actually, this is a great opportunity for you to fight for your independence!
Show everybody, that you can take care of yourself and don't need your sister to boss you around!
But don't be rude to her, just do everything by yourself and let her only to be like an inspector, don't leave her any chance to command you :)
Then, may be next time, parents will leave some cash to you personally ;)
 
but she sends me to my room if I argue with her but I only argue with her cos she is making me do un fair things. I really hate having to do what she says because she is not an adult and she cannot boss me around.

I really hate her at the moment because she does not have to listen to anyone but I have to do everything she says. If I clean my room and make my bed and stuff then she will give me just a little bit of money compared to what money she takes to go out. I will get like £10 and she will take much more, how is that fair?

I do try to listen to her but she is just not being fair and you said in Islam you need to respect people older than you and I do respect her but she is annoying and stupid.
 
Physicist said:
Wa Alaikum Salaam brother,

I can imagine how frustrating for you is to read these answers...

As was mention above, you are the Man in the house. Yet young one.
You are is in the age, when a boy learning to be a man.

Adults have more freedom than children, that's true and may seem unfair for those young who are eager for their freedom.
But freedom imply responsibility first of all.
Imagine, what if your father one day will decide that he don't want to earn money any more?
Actually, this is a great opportunity for you to fight for your independence!
Show everybody, that you can take care of yourself and don't need your sister to boss you around!
But don't be rude to her, just do everything by yourself and let her only to be like an inspector, don't leave her any chance to command you :)
Then, may be next time, parents will leave some cash to you personally ;)
Click to expand...

Ok I will try
 
:bism:

:sl:

I hear what you're saying, bro. I hear ya.

Maybe talk to her? Like really talk, you know? And don't argue, bro, as that never works.

Just be honest with her tell her that she's making you feel small and that you wish she'd listen to you and treat you like an adult and that you'd like to make your own decisions about the money.

Aw, bro, don't hate her: What if something like really, really, really horrible happened to her? Wouldn't you be sad? Just remember she cares about you.

Yup, I know the people older to you sometimes sound very annoying and stupid, bro. So, guess what? You can remember this thing and treat people who are younger than you a whole lot better when you're older and in charge of them.

Yeah, I know your sister is being unfair, but you still gotta listen to her; otherwise, she might tell on you to your parents, and then your parents will be mad at you.

So, just try really, really, really hard and be nice to her. Just try.

:wa:

Goku_u said:
but she sends me to my room if I argue with her but I only argue with her cos she is making me do un fair things. I really hate having to do what she says because she is not an adult and she cannot boss me around.

I really hate her at the moment because she does not have to listen to anyone but I have to do everything she says. If I clean my room and make my bed and stuff then she will give me just a little bit of money compared to what money she takes to go out. I will get like £10 and she will take much more, how is that fair?

I do try to listen to her but she is just not being fair and you said in Islam you need to respect people older than you and I do respect her but she is annoying and stupid.
Click to expand...
 
:wa:


little brother , have patience with sis . She is your well wisher .


Why u need money ? Ask yourself : Do i really need this and that or i can live without it ? If u really need something urgent , then explain it to sis . She will understand . But don't demand it rudely.

Hope you are offering your salat timely ?
 
Muslim Woman said:
:wa:


little brother , have patience with sis . She is your well wisher .


Why u need money ? Ask yourself : Do i really need this and that or i can live without it ? If u really need something urgent , then explain it to sis . She will understand . But don't demand it rudely.

Hope you are offering your salat timely ?
Click to expand...

Yes but sometimes I forget and my sister yells at me
 
Salam alaykum

Yelling is not nice but forgive her. See, some people show their worry as being mad.
 
The first question is: "what is correct/right?"
Then once you've got a decent grasp on that and can explain it solidly, you can see "who is following what is correct/right the most", then it's easy to see who is more in the right.
It is the duty of all of us to follow what is right to the best of our ability.

I hope you will find some topics to ponder over in the following event:

Bukhari :: Book 5 :: Volume 57 :: Hadith 19

Narrated 'Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Allah's Apostle died while Abu Bakr was at a place called As-Sunah (Al-'Aliya) 'Umar stood up and said, "By Allah! Allah's Apostle is not dead!" 'Umar (later on) said, "By Allah! Nothing occurred to my mind except that." He said, "Verily! Allah will resurrect him and he will cut the hands and legs of some men."

Then Abu Bakr came and uncovered the face of Allah's Apostle, kissed him and said, "Let my mother and father be sacrificed for you, (O Allah's Apostle), you are good in life and in death. By Allah in Whose Hands my life is, Allah will never make you taste death twice." Then he went out and said, "O oath-taker! Don't be hasty." When Abu Bakr spoke, 'Umar sat down.

Abu Bakr praised and glorified Allah and said,
No doubt! Whoever worshipped Muhammad, then Muhammad is dead, but whoever worshipped Allah, then Allah is Alive and shall never die."
Then he recited Allah's Statement.:-- "(O Muhammad) Verily you will die, and they also will die." (39.30) He also recited:--"Muhammad is no more than an Apostle; and indeed many Apostles have passed away, before him, If he dies Or is killed, will you then Turn back on your heels? And he who turns back On his heels, not the least Harm will he do to Allah And Allah will give reward to those Who are grateful." (3.144)

The people wept loudly, and the Ansar were assembled with Sad bin 'Ubada in the shed of Bani Saida. They said (to the emigrants). "There should be one 'Amir from us and one from you." Then Abu Bakr, Umar bin Al-Khattab and Abu 'baida bin Al-Jarrah went to them. 'Umar wanted to speak but Abu Bakr stopped him. 'Umar later on used to say, "By Allah, I intended only to say something that appealed to me and I was afraid that Abu Bakr would not speak so well. Then Abu Bakr spoke and his speech was very eloquent. He said in his statement,
"We are the rulers and you (Ansars) are the ministers (i.e. advisers)," Hubab bin Al-Mundhir said, "No, by Allah we won't accept this. But there must be a ruler from us and a ruler from you."
Abu Bakr said, "No, we will be the rulers and you will be the ministers, for they (i.e. Quarish) are the best family amongst the 'Arabs and of best origin. So you should elect either 'Umar or Abu 'Ubaida bin Al-Jarrah as your ruler." 'Umar said (to Abu Bakr), "No but we elect you, for you are our chief and the best amongst us and the most beloved of all of us to Allah's Apostle."
So 'Umar took Abu Bakr's hand and gave the pledge of allegiance and the people too gave the pledge of allegiance to Abu Bakr.
Someone said, "You have killed Sad bin Ubada." 'Umar said, "Allah has killed him." 'Aisha said (in another narration), ("When the Prophet was on his death-bed) he looked up and said thrice, (Amongst) the Highest Companion (See Qur'an 4.69)' Aisha said, Allah benefited the people by their two speeches. 'Umar frightened the people some of whom were hypocrites whom Allah caused to abandon Islam because of 'Umar's speech. Then Abu Bakr led the people to True Guidance and acquainted them with the right path they were to follow so that they went out reciting:-- "Muhammad is no more than an Apostle and indeed many Apostles have passed away before him.." (3.144)

Source materials are from the*University of Southern California MSA*site

http://old.quranexplorer.com/Hadith/English/Hadith/bukhari/005.057.019.html
Click to expand...
 
So cute!It means you love your elder sister very much and vice versa.
 
Dont fight with your family members, just tell them what problem you have, i'm sure they will understand.
Little lovable fights between brothers and sisters are part of life and a beauty of this brother-sister relation but it does not mean to react rudely with your family members.
 

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