why are daughters not given respect in society!!!

[muslimah_here]

this question always puzzles me in our society i know in asians especially daughters are not given the respect they deserve, n that every time a daughter is born ther are sum who sulk.

As far as i know islam doesnt say to treat ur daughters differently to ur sons where the sons are palying around in thier childhood daughters are expected to become stuck in the kitchen, whether her brother is young or old
she has to service for him. sons are not expected to help in the house they r just ther to eat n chuck thier plates in the sink for their sisters to wash or clean after them.

this resentment betweeen brothers n sisters starts at very early age n many daughter then wish that they were born as a boy caz they see with their eyes how their parents treat sons like royalty.

 

[*noor]

this question always puzzles me in our society i know in asians especially daughters are not given the respect they deserve, n that every time a daughter is born ther are sum who sulk.

As far as i know islam doesnt say to treat ur daughters differently to ur sons where the sons are palying around in thier childhood daughters are expected to become stuck in the kitchen, whether her brother is young or old
she has to service for him. sons are not expected to help in the house they r just ther to eat n chuck thier plates in the sink for their sisters to wash or clean after them.

this resentment betweeen brothers n sisters starts at very early age n many daughter then wish that they were born as a boy caz they see with their eyes how their parents treat sons like royalty.

Thats true in many families because some people value culture more than religion, even though they never admit it. A girl is as good a blessing as a boy cuz they are both from Allah.

 

[arehat]

Yah i know sis most of it is to do with culture but in my house no one gets away with it whether ur a male r feemale we all help each other.

 

[extinction]

erm I think you should rephrase this because not all asians have this mentality...erm I have two sisters both whom are perfectly happy with their gender and dont sulk because they are girls..they get plenty of respect...and ive seen this for all my female cousins and family friends also ..so I dont know it isnt a asian thing but varies family to family..........

 

[*noor]

Yah i know sis most of it is to do with culture but in my house no one gets away with it whether ur a male r feemale we all help each other.

thats great MASHAALLAH
lets just pray that every family is like that - treating girls and boys equally......Ameen

 

[arehat]

thats great MASHAALLAH
lets just pray that every family is like that - treating girls and boys equally......Ameen

Yah Ammen but when i gt married i made sure all my bro inlaws hed they thougt i was boosy at first but gt used to it:giggling: :giggling:

 

[hinda]

as sais before, dont let you culture change islam, but let islam change your culture

 

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

umm.. yeah i guess, i thought its because im the oldest child in the family so i always get blamed! its annoying, but i dont really care.. whenever i need help i turn to Allah, no-one else..

another thing that REALLY annoys me is when people in society get influenced by culture and forget about their religion.. my family are alright, my dads a Hajji, mashallah and my mum Inshahallah is playing on taking the whole family to Hajj.. other families in my town are so influenced in their culture (im talking about the bengalis in my town) that they forget their religion and their identity.. i think its really stupid and i want to help them ppl but they wont listen to me or anyone of our generation.. so yeh, i mean the older generation.. stuff like touching someones feet etc etc, that really annoys me because firstly its a Hindu tradition and 2ndly i only bow down to Allah, nothing else!

 

[MusLiM 4 LiFe]

as sais before, dont let you culture change islam, but let islam change your culture

aww.. datz a really good quote.. mashallahh :happy:

 

[*noor]

erm I think you should rephrase this because not all asians have this mentality...erm I have two sisters both whom are perfectly happy with their gender and dont sulk because they are girls..they get plenty of respect...and ive seen this for all my female cousins and family friends also ..so I dont know it isnt a asian thing but varies family to family..........

u have a point
it happens in every culture not only asians, depending on the family and if they follow Islam correctly or not....

also Palestinians, egyptians, puerto ricans, dominicans, columbians, spanish, africans........EVERY RACE!!!

 

[seek.learn]

as sais before, dont let you culture change islam, but let islam change your culture

Salaam o alaikum,

Indeed a great Quote.

May Allah guide our ummah and forgive us. Aameen.

Alaikum Salaam

 

[muslimah_here]

MASHALLAH!!
I am really glad to know that are mulsim families who tret theeir daughters n sons equally!! I hope INSHALLAH all families would think islamically rather culture as most of u have said so, i didnt mean all asians but im a pakistani n most i know have this naive mentality about woman, which really frustrates me.

I know im many fmailies girls get used to being treated as maids but I know if our prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) even though he had so many wives used to help his wives, than maybe muslim men should follow his personal quailites as one of the most important sunnas than just concentrating on thier outward appearance.

INSHALLAH il make sure who ever I get married to give more importance to islam than culture althogh i know it will be hard as my family has strong cultural influence on them, but ALLAH guides those who want to be guided.

ALLAHAFIZ.

 

[S_87]

As far as i know islam doesnt say to treat ur daughters differently to ur sons where the sons are palying around in thier childhood daughters are expected to become stuck in the kitchen, whether her brother is young or old
she has to service for him. sons are not expected to help in the house they r just ther to eat n chuck thier plates in the sink for their sisters to wash or clean after them.

that just arghhhhhhh
i got some cousins who are being brought up not to even pick up their plates from the table.

islam teaches that daughters and sons should be treated totally equal. both are gifts from Allah and women are needed in society just as much as men

 

[HeiGou]

i got some cousins who are being brought up not to even pick up their plates from the table.

:rollseyes Well, as a child, I, ummm, :X

islam teaches that daughters and sons should be treated totally equal. both are gifts from Allah and women are needed in society just as much as men

This is not an Islam thing, but it is a culture thing that will not just go away. In Chinese girls are said to be born looking out, boys born looking in. Meaning girls will marry out and go to someone else's home. Investment in them is a waste of time and money. Boys will stay and so are important. I am sure the same is true in most other Asian families (and beyond). So while girls are needed in society as a whole, they are less needed by families in particular. Especially daughters who are not really needed at all. Daughter-in-laws perhaps. This is sad, but it is a fact of life. In Muslim families, as in many other families, girls will marry someone else and leave. Educating them is to give money to another family. Loving them is to look forward to heartbreak when they leave. Now usually no parent is so inhuman as to not love their child, of any gender, but financial pressures on poor people are stronger than many emotions. It is cruel but you have to be realistic. It will not change any time soon either unfortunately.

 

[------]

My Dad loves me

 

[S_87]

:rollseyes Well, as a child, I, ummm, :X

around 11 years old

Now usually no parent is so inhuman as to not love their child, of any gender,.

actually in india hindus burn and bury their daughters alive the pre islamic arabs did the same thing. Muhammed :arabic5: scorned and put a stop to such and act and the Quran brings down such an act. thats because people did and still think women deserve to be.well dead

 

[HeiGou]

My Dad loves me

Absolutely. I am completely and totally sure. Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting otherwise. And no doubt it will upset your Father enormously when you marry and another man has the responsibility to look after you. But, unlike any Brothers you may have, one day you will move out of your Father's life and into your husband's.

 

[HeiGou]

around 11 years old

Hey I am much better now!! I even washed a cup the other day.

actually in india hindus burn and bury their daughters alive the pre islamic arabs did the same thing. Muhammed :arabic5: scorned and put a stop to such and act and the Quran brings down such an act. thats because people did and still think women deserve to be.well dead

Well yes, but you will notice that not even in India or China do they kill all their girls or even most of them. Despite the high costs of raising them. Parents do usually love their children, and will look after them no matter what the cost.

But in any society where a girl marries and moves to another home any cost associated with raising her is lost unless the parents get a bride price. If pushed by poverty parents will be forced to make cruel decisions in many cases. Even if they do not make very cruel decisions such as killing their daughters, they may be forced to make less cruel decisions such as denying their daughters and education. This is still very common in Third World countries and not unknown in the West. I am not excusing it, just trying to explain it.