Why did Allah make some people ugly and others good looking

[Futuwwa]

I am sorry sister, I realize your a muslim sister, but you "DISGUST ME". You are a liar. You are lying to yourself and to everyone around you, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, deep down that women base a man for his LOOKS. I dont know where you are from, if you live in a different country and it is this way, I apologize to you, but I assume you are speaking in regards to Western Society, if you are, you know that women base their attraction on LOOKS and LOOKS alone. Not only this, but it is proven in science that better looking people are treated better than others. So please sister, do not come on this board lying to people telling them "WOMEN LOOK AT CHARACTER, NOT HOW A MAN LOOKS" This is the biggest lie I have ever heard, one time I tried to ask a girl to help me for an interning job, she told me "ewwwww, no not you" How do you think this makes me feel sister? I thought LOOKS DIDNT MATTER ACCORDING TO YOU? Another time a girl in a coffee shop when I was pouring sugar, she bumped into me and I said "excuse me" she told me "You should be" and she gave me a nasty look. Meanwhile, my handsome muslim friends are doing well for themselves, happy and all. Stop lying to others please! If you want me to forgive you, I want you to publicly post on this forum "WOMEN DO JUDGE A MAN BY HIS LOOKS" That way you will be telling the truth a sister, and not commiting haram and telling a lie. In fact, you contradicted yourself, you said "I JUDGE A MAN BY HIS CHARACTER" Then later in your paragraph you said "I ENDED UP WITH A HANDSOME MAN!" HARAM, HARAM, HARAM ALEIK!

Brother, I suspected it as soon as I read the OP, but this post confirmed it. Outer ugliness is a lesser problem of yours, for no matter how hideous your exterior might be, you are far worse on the inside. A sister who was in the same situation as you (and which is a situation far worse for a woman to be in) reached out to you, and you curse her, accusing her of haram, and insist on a humiliating public apology according to your specifications. No level of beauty would make you popular or wanted with that kind of rotten behaviour.

For your own sake, fix the inside first before concerning yourself with the outside. For it will not only matter in this life, but also for where you will spend eternity.

If I have spoken too harshly, astagfirullah, but I think that what needed to be said needed to be said.

 

[Riana17]

Brother, I suspected it as soon as I read the OP, but this post confirmed it. Outer ugliness is a lesser problem of yours, for no matter how hideous your exterior might be, you are far worse on the inside. A sister who was in the same situation as you (and which is a situation far worse for a woman to be in) reached out to you, and you curse her, accusing her of haram, and insist on a humiliating public apology according to your specifications. No level of beauty would make you popular or wanted with that kind of rotten behaviour.

For your own sake, fix the inside first before concerning yourself with the outside. For it will not only matter in this life, but also for where you will spend eternity.

If I have spoken too harshly, astagfirullah, but I think that what needed to be said needed to be said.

Salam
May Allah reward you.

Actually I didnt get mad at him, I understand where he is coming from (i thought at first he is a sister)
bad treatments can caused you to do bad, I have 3 other sisters, all of us suffer in this life, but alhamdollelah I passed them all.

The eldest sister kept the hatred in her and till now she is hurting many many people. Even put an innocent old woman in jail and abandoned her 1st son who need open heart surgery. This case,,, if they dont realize what life is all about, then Allah can only help them.

I cant be mad, but feel mercy for this kind of people for they do not know the source of real happiness.

 

[Galaxy]

Shouldn't matter!

:wa:

Before you complain about your outer appearance, why not you perfect your inner appearance instead? If you are ugly, fine, it matter in the Day of Judgement. Instead, the ugliness inside will matter! Also, women do look for a man with a nice personality. Attractiveness does matter but not much if the man's personality is lovely.

Just strive to be a good Muslim instead something pleasing to the eyes. If they are rude to you because you are 'ugly' then what good people judge by one's face?

 

[Cakbatter]

Subhanallah, none of you will ever know the position I am in......and here I will explain to you why:

Allah subhannah watallah creates the majority of people AVERAGE LOOKING AND EQUAL, however he does gift some people OUTER BEAUTY: Quote this from me please, I COMPLETELY RESPECT THAT!

However, my concern is there is ALSO some people that Allah creates that are the bottom 20 percent of society, the ugly people. I fall into that category and i seriously don't understand why God did not make me at least average looking so I can cope and not get rejected, depressed, and ridiculed every where I go. Living in California, in my first year of high school I tried to ask a girl to help me on my math homework because I was struggling in that class, she did not respond and left me clueless of what I did wrong. That night I also visited her myspace to see shy she looked so mad when I asked her that, I thought she lost a family member or something. Surprisingly, what I found is her writing on her friends myspace, "EWWWWW, horse face asked me for help in the library today!"

I couldn't sleep that night, I cried all night. Three months later that white girl developed a crush on my Libyan friend, he rejected her because he is Muslim and religious. The point here is, he got treated better than me because of his LOOKS. My question to you all is, you claim that it all balances out in the end and in the Akhira, but......

HOW IS THE LIFE LIVING AS DEPRESSED REJECTED FROM SOCIETY MUSLIM AT THE SAME BASIS OF EQUALITY AS ONE WHO POSSESSES AT LEAST AVERAGE OR GOOD LOOKS? It is simply illogical to think like this.

 

[Futuwwa]

Brother, I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean by your last sentence. Are you maintaining that you are not really equal to other Muslims because Allah has not even given you at least average beauty?

To be honest, brother, I'm beginning to think you've lived in an extremely unfortunate environment. I counted 26 other people who posted on this thread. If you're in the "bottom 20% of ugly people" and that's the cause of your woes, well, 20% of 26 is 5.1, so on average there are about five people in this thread who are as ugly as you. Still, nobody seems to have gone through anything like the total social rejection you describe, so it must be something else.

I suspect you've just been unlucky and run into the wrong women. High school girls. Girls in a nightclub. Certainly groups in which I'd expect to find an above-average proportion of shallow individuals.

 

[DippedinJannah]

I was raised in the American culture, and there is no culture on Earth which is so unforgiving on exterior looks or so shallow in its evaluation of ideal mates.

Yes, undoubtedly, life is somewhat easier for those who are beautiful. Look at famous models, actors, etc. - they would not have their easy jobs if they were ugly. It's just a fact of life - just as life is easier for people who are born with spectacular athletic ability, or people who are born into wealth.

But this does not mean that these things are necessarily good. I am somewhat glad I was not born wealthy. I am glad I was not born in desperate poverty, but of the people I've known who are rich, the vast majority live shallow, empty lives, seeking only pleasure. The most religious people with the deepest relationship with Allah (swt) - regardless of their faith - are people who were not born rich.

Same thing is true for those born beautiful or with tremendous talents.

As for appearance...you are completely wrong

If you were a woman, you would have more of a case. But women do not evaluate men based on looks. Perhaps at a young age they do, but which of these do you think more effortlessly attracts women:

• a poor man who is physically attractive, or
• a rich man...?
• a man with model-type looks who is shy and awkward and has no social graces, or
• a confidant, gregarious man who is not attractive...?

Attracting women is all about confidence, social ability, and communication. It really has very little to do with physical looks. A beautiful man who sits in the corner will not be as attractive to women as a man who is surrounded by friends.

 

[sabr*]

Subhanallah, none of you will ever know the position I am in......and here I will explain to you why:

Allah subhannah watallah creates the majority of people AVERAGE LOOKING AND EQUAL, however he does gift some people OUTER BEAUTY: Quote this from me please, I COMPLETELY RESPECT THAT!

However, my concern is there is ALSO some people that Allah creates that are the bottom 20 percent of society, the ugly people. I fall into that category and i seriously don't understand why God did not make me at least average looking so I can cope and not get rejected, depressed, and ridiculed every where I go. Living in California, in my first year of high school I tried to ask a girl to help me on my math homework because I was struggling in that class, she did not respond and left me clueless of what I did wrong. That night I also visited her myspace to see shy she looked so mad when I asked her that, I thought she lost a family member or something. Surprisingly, what I found is her writing on her friends myspace, "EWWWWW, horse face asked me for help in the library today!"

I couldn't sleep that night, I cried all night. Three months later that white girl developed a crush on my Libyan friend, he rejected her because he is Muslim and religious. The point here is, he got treated better than me because of his LOOKS. My question to you all is, you claim that it all balances out in the end and in the Akhira, but......

HOW IS THE LIFE LIVING AS DEPRESSED REJECTED FROM SOCIETY MUSLIM AT THE SAME BASIS OF EQUALITY AS ONE WHO POSSESSES AT LEAST AVERAGE OR GOOD LOOKS? It is simply illogical to think like this.

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ukhti Cakbatter (Anonymous)

Alhamdulillah! Everyone has a trial. Allah doesn't place a burden upon his creation they are unable to bare.

It appears that you are making your appearence a test and trial. You are creating it by allowing others
who are superficial to control the way you view yourself. If everyone would have told you from childhood
that you are the part of the 20% that is considered beautiful you would think that way.

Take control of your self-esteem and not allow others to control the way you feel about yourself.

If you live within the United States there are 300 Million people and you haven't meet them or will meet them
in one lifetime. You have no idea how the people who have substance would view your appereance.

Al-Hujurat (The Dwellings) 49:13

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ (49:13)

Ya ayyuha alnnasu inna khalaqnakum min thakarin waontha wajaAAalnakum shuAAooban waqabaila litaAAarafoo inna akramakum AAinda Allahi atqakum inna Allaha AAaleemun khabeerun

49:13 (Y. Ali) O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).


The most honored is the most righteous not the most beautiful.

We men are the primary blame for promoting beauty over substance. We are apologize for contributing to such non sense.

Your Taqwa (Allah consciousness) Iman (Faith) are important.

 

[Riana17]

double post... why our replies are being approved after 2-3 days

 

[Riana17]

This is the correct post

Salam
Brother some here may sound harsh but its for your own good, i hope you could see your brothers and sisters concern to u.Dont let their time go in waste,,,

Pls remember Allah has fashioned you, He fashioned all of us, you must be grateful for Allah's blessing, u & I may lack in looks but we can be plus in APPEAL,,how??? ok pls continue reading

see
i'd have to work since 8yrs old, my father and grandmother maltreated me till 14, name it,,, my father beat me till i cant walk, he tie me to a tree full of red ants, my grandma almost killed me wen shes drunk, i hv to do all the chores, as a child i didnt had the opportunity to play like other siblings and cousins, no teenage memory life as well,,,
after them my eldest sister started making my life a hell from age 16, beat me, degrade me, didnt allow me to eat,not allowed to speak to family & frends,lock in the room, spit in me, winter time no comforter, has to sleep in small sofa, she hate me & she love seeing me suffering, she spread rumors that i was seducing her husband that made my father almost killed me,she took all my salary for 2.5yrs...really made 3yrs of my life a hell. 3yrs i would cry till i cnt breath, cant sleep at night, i was too scared, dont know what to do, i dont hv confidence, i wanted to die, no freedom, i hated myself but i choose not to fight back, God helped me so much and gave me patience.
1day she suddenly beat me so hard infront of my in law and brother,,, & that's how I move out (with elder brother) I was like 20

even its too hard, i CHOOSE to let go, mind you it wasnt easy, its a sad story but i tried , i really tried my best to forgive & forget
i always remind myself, khallas let go, we are all gonna die, what else will matter when we all end up in grave?
(the result? i did forgive, i never tk revenge to anyone but i have bad memory now

I will continue this story NOT to show off,,, one day the doctor told my mother (who raised her son since birth, son from 1st husband) that my nephew is very ill and if we dont send him for operation "he would die", my heart fall down, i cant accept he will die. He has hole in between the heart.

I used the the pain I suffered from her, I choose to do the right thing, I worked hard day & night just to save money for her son's heart operation..1 day he had fever 41 degree,,, it was crazy,
then i took a personal loan from colleagues & alhamdollelah he was ok after 10days of confinement...and to your surprise not only she didnt care to help a single penny but she stole the change from hospital bill

i was boiling inside me, but again i choose to let go

i stil cant blv how I gathered the money in shorter time,,,, Allah sends His angels to me I guess, Allah bless me with good business, good job, and Subhanallah, its been 2years since he had open heart surgery and he is healthy now, alhamdollelah, i am happy that i did it all alone, no help from his mother and my siblings, Allah made it happened and I am more than happy I am His instrument

NOW I AM SURE THAT ALLAH loves me so much because he guided me to the right path, I am Muslim for a year now Subhanallah.Allah will not allow a Believer down, if you are against this,then brother its time for you to know more about our deen inshallah, inner peace and happiness within can be found in ISLAM, nowhere else

You see brother, what ever people thinks about us is not important, it all depends on our intention and truly Allah looks at our hearts not with our looks,,,

I may look ugly to many people but bcoz am good at heart, i dont envy others, i dont hurt others, i dont trick others, i dont do magic
Bcoz of that Allah sends me a life partner who look at me like I am prettier than angelina jolie, lool BIG joke but true
My husband appreciates me even I am lazy and he alwys say, he will never dream of any other wife than me,,,my husband is not a scam tho, he dont even say i love u often but i always feel he does, NOW U ARE JEALOUS AGAIN right??????!!!!! lol come on, cheer up, treasure your life, read Quran and say alhamdollelah



PS: my sister claims she is Muslim, she can read write arabic, she go to school & studied Quran & Islam for almost 7yrs, she has very wealthy & kind husband, she has lots of money, and yes she looks pretty, but she dont see or enjoy that at all...Allah closes her eyes, Allah does not guide the proud and evil

they all didnt matter when you have a black heart. Allah will not giv peace when we are proud and when we do not see the blessings that we are given. when we dont know how to balance things.

There are ways to improve your looks without operation, clean and wear a proper clothes, cut your hair according to your shape, trim etc. You should not mind people's comment, when someone doesnt like u, whatever u do he/she wont like u, they are not genuine

Happiness is acceptance, dont focus on how you look, u have to focus on how you can improve yourself, wonder why blind, limp, and poor people can smile afterall, why they choose to live and not end their lives,bcoz they accept that this is what Allah has given them, so u have to change the way u look in this life, the truth *** i mean the painful truth brother is that u focus alot on OUTSIDE appearance, u must change the direction or u will die like this and regret, oh dear regret is never in the beginning,, regret is always in the end and inshallah u will not live this way for long

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, look at SEAL he may look ugly to many but wow his wife is madly inlove with him bcoz he has good manners (i watched their guesting in OPRAH)

TRUE HAPPINESS IS within and can be found only by being contented, by appreciation and WORSHIPPING ONE TRUE GOD.May Allah have mercy on Us, Ameen

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Subhanallah, none of you will ever know the position I am in......and here I will explain to you why:

Allah subhannah watallah creates the majority of people AVERAGE LOOKING AND EQUAL, however he does gift some people OUTER BEAUTY: Quote this from me please, I COMPLETELY RESPECT THAT!

However, my concern is there is ALSO some people that Allah creates that are the bottom 20 percent of society, the ugly people. I fall into that category and i seriously don't understand why God did not make me at least average looking so I can cope and not get rejected, depressed, and ridiculed every where I go. Living in California, in my first year of high school I tried to ask a girl to help me on my math homework because I was struggling in that class, she did not respond and left me clueless of what I did wrong. That night I also visited her myspace to see shy she looked so mad when I asked her that, I thought she lost a family member or something. Surprisingly, what I found is her writing on her friends myspace, "EWWWWW, horse face asked me for help in the library today!"

I couldn't sleep that night, I cried all night. Three months later that white girl developed a crush on my Libyan friend, he rejected her because he is Muslim and religious. The point here is, he got treated better than me because of his LOOKS. My question to you all is, you claim that it all balances out in the end and in the Akhira, but......

HOW IS THE LIFE LIVING AS DEPRESSED REJECTED FROM SOCIETY MUSLIM AT THE SAME BASIS OF EQUALITY AS ONE WHO POSSESSES AT LEAST AVERAGE OR GOOD LOOKS? It is simply illogical to think like this.

Assalaamu Alaaykum

There are many things that can make one depressed and not just looks.

It isnt illogical but simply you have to understand that fact that Allaah doesnt judge one by their looks but whats within their hearts..Thoughts like these can lead one to disease their heart.

How can one have a clean and pure heart where they keep filling it up with bad thoughts and negativeness? Is what society thinks of you more important?

Seriously if you think about it what benefit will you gain if you did go and get surgery done on yourself? You will only displease Allaah and only get a few positive looks here and there and done thats all you gain in this life then you will recieve that few days luxury and forget about the reality than you havent gained nothing in real.

whether one can have average or good looks how does that make one different to one who doesnt have average or good looks? Why should that person be treated differently? As long as the heart is clean you would deal with everything in life in the same way as one who has average or good looks..It is only you that are who are making yourself depressed and nobody else, and making life difficult.

How is it that when you smile at someone it makes the other smile, are looks relied upon? I am sincerely sorry if I am speaking like I dont understand your situation. but it is only advice from my ownself and I ask you to complain to Allaah also, for Allaah if he listened to the messengers in their times of hardships though they were much worse, he will listen also to your prayers. Dont look at life negatively because it will only make you feel more worse and you will also end up losing hope astagfirullaah and suffer really badly from depression and that is not a good ending or a good feeling .Please Allaah and be thankful of what you do have which others out there who do not have at all and they still continue be thankful and to not lose hope.

Believe me you are not rejected or else you wouldnt still be living your life lucky enough to find yourself living the next day, sincerely you need to discover how blessed you are even while coming on this forum to recieve some answers.

I hope that Allaah does what is better for you and no doubt that he has. may Allaah ease your hardships and grant you happiness in both this life and the hereafter Aameen

.. peace ..

 

[Starrynight]

I'm sorry for all of you who have been treated badly by American girls... I am an American girl and I am ashamed for all of my fellow American's who have hurt you.
I have been thinking about the ideas around looks. I myself have spent way too much time worrying about it throughout my life. Recently though, I have tried my best not to care. I want people to like me for who I am as a person. I now try to spend all the time I used to waste worrying about my appearance to work on my intelligence and on being a kinder person. Although people disregarding me for my appearance might sting, I know I want to be friends with people who are not shallow. So, I have some very close friends who love me for who I am, not what I look like. Those who judged me based on the clothing I wear or the structure of my face are missing out because I know in my heart I am a great friend to have
I hope everyone can find true friends and learn to tune out those who are poisonous people.

 

[Galaxy]

Come on!!!



I don't know how to edit yet insha' Allaah I will know but I made a mistake. I meant that if you're ugly, then it won't matter on the Day of Resurrection.

Anyway, stop complaining already. You keep on bringing forward stories of girls who only care about one's looks but it's really not helping the situation. Since beauty matters so much to you, people in Jannah will be beautiful. I'm not saying you should strive for Jannah just to be beautiful...

If you think your appearance and is a huge problem in your life, go check if you have body dysmorphic disorder, I am serious.

 

[Grofica]

see your problem is your age...

little girls and little middle school girls and little high school girls yes they go for looks. the hunky quarterback or whatever and then all those little girls grow up and relize those quarterbacks grow up to work at mcdonalds and the girls actually do start looking at personality even in the plastic capitals like cali and vegas and florida.

one day those girls will grow up and relize that there are a lot more shucks out there then nice guys... and its the nice guys they start to search for.

your problem is... (other than needing to grow up) you have turned yourself so bitter that i cant see the beauty in your words.. the way you attack people who are trying to help... now that is ugly.

and the other problem is that most of the people on here are a bit older than you are.

models are for magizines. True gentleman are for marrying.

 

[May Ayob]

Subhanallah, none of you will ever know the position I am in......and here I will explain to you why: Allah subhannah watallah creates the majority of people AVERAGE LOOKING AND EQUAL, however he does gift some people OUTER BEAUTY: Quote this from me please, I COMPLETELY RESPECT THAT! However, my concern is there is ALSO some people that Allah creates that are the bottom 20 percent of society, the ugly people. I fall into that category and i seriously don't understand why God did not make me at least average looking so I can cope and not get rejected, depressed, and ridiculed every where I go. Living in California, in my first year of high school I tried to ask a girl to help me on my math homework because I was struggling in that class, she did not respond and left me clueless of what I did wrong. That night I also visited her myspace to see shy she looked so mad when I asked her that, I thought she lost a family member or something. Surprisingly, what I found is her writing on her friends myspace, "EWWWWW, horse face asked me for help in the library today!" I couldn't sleep that night, I cried all night. Three months later that white girl developed a crush on my Libyan friend, he rejected her because he is Muslim and religious. The point here is, he got treated better than me because of his LOOKS. My question to you all is, you claim that it all balances out in the end and in the Akhira, but...... HOW IS THE LIFE LIVING AS DEPRESSED REJECTED FROM SOCIETY MUSLIM AT THE SAME BASIS OF EQUALITY AS ONE WHO POSSESSES AT LEAST AVERAGE OR GOOD LOOKS? It is simply illogical to think like this.

Salaam Brother
Allah does not want you to be a hot-headed, ignorant , arrogant useless human being..... Is that what makes you mad?
If equality was meant by good looks ... then we can see why our global planet is suffering what it is suffering today.....What matters is your heart please don't tell me I am a liar as it took my years to understand this concept ... I am a female and i had it just as you did ...I Had /Have absolutely no friends they all rejected me based on my appearance.. Did i cry? Of course .. Did it burn my heart? .. you bet it did.... Did i think of suicide? .. yup!
What happened is that i said to myself - I didn't come here for nothing! Life isn't all about High School Life is not a popularity contest...I was sad and depressed because i thought i didn't belong here...
Just think about this:
All the people in our planet that are deaf or handicapped or are facing disabilities...How do you think they feel?
How do you think their life is? What about those which are blind? Those in a wheeling chair?, Those that lost their limbs...?
What about those dying out of hunger..Every six seconds?
Those their spouses pour Sulphuric Acid on their face..?
Those that were slaughtered to death for absolutely no reason?
Those frightened by war?
Those suffering from Human trafficking?
Those suffering from Modern Day Slavery?
Those facing Domestic Violence from the one that are supposed to be the most beloved to their hearts?
Those living under the line of Poverty?
The list goes on and on my brother...
Those who don't know why they came here in first place...why to suffer? to get rejected by so called average and good looking people.
Those people know nothing , they don't even belong to the global society as they faced nothing...What counts is how much you have learned not how much money you spent to attract some fake and heartless people!
If you consider the statistics of all the above and how much human beings in this planet are suffering from it then I highly doubt that the overall percentage of these people will be less than 60% as.
In the country I live in; In the Northern Part 70% percent live under 2 dollars a day, In the Southern Part 80% live under 1 dollar a day...Aren't they human beings? Do they not also deserve Equality?
What is their fault? Did they Create themselves? No, Right? Are they responsible for their situation? No,Right? What do you think of some one who would come up to them and ask them "Why" they are so "unfortunate"? They would be terrible person wouldn't they? Same goes to your situation my brother the problem is not in you it is in them and how they perceive things, so if some one doesn't like the way you look , then I am glad to tell them that they have absolutely no problem with me but rather they have a problem with the One who Created me.
I don't Believe you are "Ugly" , I don't believe anyone is "ugly" , In fact using that word irritates me. No one is "Ugly" nor is anyone "Beautiful" for we are Neutral - What should be considered as ugly would be:
The blood baths that are happening in our planet. The theift and Robbery by so called Official of Governments.The deceipt that some people want us to follow. The Famine and Poverty that is causing rapid rate of deaths. The the Unjust torture of some human beings are facing in prison. The diseases and ilness people are afllicted with but have no medical support. The high suicidal rates. The Rape and molestation children are suffering from... the list goes on and on.

Similar wise would it be that Beauty should also be considered as :
A smile of compassion. Holding some one hand to show care and support. A look of mercy into the eyes of a human being. Giving a child a piggie back to make them happy, Wiping the tears off some one's eyes, giving your seat to the elder. Offering some one a ride back home. Giving your shoulder for someone to lean on. Kissing your Mother or Father in the forehead and showing them Respect , Gratitude and appreciation for all they have gave you. Cheering some one up when they're feeling down. Standing up for those that are being surpressed.Bringing Happiness into a human beings heart. Teaching some one something they didn't know. Repelling evil with it's opposite. Showing sincere concern and sympathy for those who are suffering... and the list goes on and on as well.
You see my brother, these two terms were never meant to be defined by outer appearances. You are a spirit that has a body and not a body that has a Spirit. it is your Spirit that should make you control the way you feel about your self and not your body.
What is important is your spirit and how much positive energy it gave out and not your body and how much negative energy it brings. This is what determines how beautiful a Human Being truly is.

Why would anyone who has a heart say eww to you .... you should be the one saying eww to her character..Because Truly that is what is ugly.

Just ask yourself one question: Please tell me how your life would have been better if you were "good-looking"?
Is becoming a slave to people and their desires a blessing .. This is true slavery when you let people control you and you give them the advantage to break you apart.
Good looks are nothing I am a female ... I barely look at my self in the mirror and I know how much that would have affected my character in a negative way because I would be rejecting any human being that I don't consider as " Good-looking" this is all trash .
These women all around your friend will run away from him if anything happened to his face.. Why would anyone want to be with such type of people? Beleive me they are going to hurt you more than they will bring you "Happiness" because the whole time you will be self-concsious about how you look and will always fear losing the people around you... They don't like your friends that is the truth....They like they Money or the external pleasure they get when they look at some one's face so if your friend lost his "good-look" and those "looks" went to some else they would be running after the later guy..They are enslaved by their desires..You don't need to waste your time with these people as we will all turn into rotten bodies and eventually become parts of sand. And Honestly I wouldn't be considering what you friend( the one who went to the night club with you) is experiencing right now as Happiness - I would rather say that it is nothing but a temporary lustful sensation he feels in his heart that results as a grin in his face as a reflex action. True happiness is acheived when- “Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others”.
Look the only key to get over this is to believe in yourself! to know and Value yourself! you should only look at those who love you for your personality people who look other wise ..then believe me you are better off without them.

Equality is to respect and value human beings according to who they are no matter what, and accepting them with no regards. Not to change them and adjust them to what you believe is Ideal..Then treating them as an equal.
And Eqaulity in God's Eyes was the Eqaulity of Heart and Character.. This is the way God wants me , you and everyone else to be non can dare to go out ask a human being as why to they look this or that way .. it is a Major sin.

Believe me all this will be nothing when you realize that Most of the dwellers of Hell fire are the Healthy , Wealthy, "good looking" people who had absolutely no hearts nor did they ever ponder in the creation of this Beautifull universe.

A study says that Physical appearance does not have a big affect as much as Religion, ethnicity and political views in a human being and choosing their spouse sure looks matter but then really these looks will fade away as soon as one gets in their 50s if not even before that.. and what i see as beautiful and what you see as beautiful is different...
Also , Women Do not * let me point respectable women that is, Never really look at the looks , If a woman care about the looks i think she has no Hayya to begin with why is she staring at men's faces? that's weird anyway....
A woman wants a man who respects her, who treats her in a kind manner who will be a kind and loving husband and a good father ...
This is what a good human being would want whether they are males or females

Insha'Allah you will be blessed with True Friends that value you the Real you! , And also a beautifull wife that Loves every single things about you..With out a doubt God is Capable of everything , Just have hope Hold on a little bit longer, Be a little more Patient.
To be Rejected by people should never hurt you; As it is more likely a sign of God's Love rather than the opposite , There will be no Prophet or Good human being that will not face rejection by people:
What do you think about Sayedna Ayob? When he was afflicted with the disease? It made every one fear him and avoid him , How do you think he felt? Is he not a Prophet of God?It didn't only go to this extent but the people around him not only rejected him the told him that God s.w.t must have been angry at him , He must have been a bad man man , He must have done a terrible sin .. this is why he is suffering what is suffering. God Only tests and afflicts those whom he loves. This Life is nothing but a test of Patience. Those whom are suffering are truly those whom are special and beloved to God Almighty.


Advice - Please stop being dependent on people and their opinions about you brake the shackle and free yourself from this illusion it's all fake lies nothing! I Garuntee , Focus on your studies and education , Concentrate on acheiving your dreams, Work on how to be a better son and brother, Take care of your family. One day you will understand what i mean

May Allah ease all your pain and make you one of His beloved..


I hope what i said made sense ,I hope this helps
Salaam

 

[Starrynight]

see your problem is your age...

little girls and little middle school girls and little high school girls yes they go for looks. the hunky quarterback or whatever and then all those little girls grow up and relize those quarterbacks grow up to work at mcdonalds and the girls actually do start looking at personality even in the plastic capitals like cali and vegas and florida.

one day those girls will grow up and relize that there are a lot more shucks out there then nice guys... and its the nice guys they start to search for.

your problem is... (other than needing to grow up) you have turned yourself so bitter that i cant see the beauty in your words.. the way you attack people who are trying to help... now that is ugly.

and the other problem is that most of the people on here are a bit older than you are.

models are for magizines. True gentleman are for marrying.

I agree. Work on your internal self and then real, true love will come.

 

[SFatima]

I would say to the OP that the only one who does not like your looks, is you ,yourself. It is your own outlook / lack of self esteem, confidence that is pulling your self perception down the 'bitter, angry, jealous' road.

I find your statements a bit too overgeneralized about girls only liking the nice looking boys, that is So not true! I know kazillion women who prefer confident men over good looking ( if a serious relationship is what they're looking at). Infact I know many men who have very average looks, some not even very outstanding if I was to measure them to the white standard of beauty, and they have amazing personalities, and trust me, women do go for personalities in men, if we're not talking about teeny boppers who are just looking for some childish fun.

And who doesn't come across couples where the woman is beautiful and a the man is quite normal looking and they both love each other. I come across many. So if a person feels particularly struck down by a a few nasty comments from some immature people, they need to look for better people and a better company, and they also need to look at their own manners because as a famous saying goes, " Good manners will open doors for you that a no amount of degrees can".

Think over it, Is it that your lack of self liking for your own looks is making you ONLY focus on good looking people and all you want to see is them around you? Is it that you ALSO are not looking for people who have a good heart and look normal and you fail to find them attractive because you think they don't look good? Why is there so much stress on good looking people here, are you sure that It isn't you who is so engrossed in the looks of a person that you have stopped focusing on your own good qualities and only focus on other's flaws?

It is true that good looking people find more acceptance with people INITIALLY, but it is also true that if the person is not polite, welcoming and warm, people will stop being overtly nice to you , just because you're good looking : P. It doesn't happen that way. You must focus on your personality and I'm sure you are ignoring some really good qualities in yourself by being a bit too focused on your looks.

Good looks are as much a trial for a person, as are not- so- good- looks. Good looking women and men have to be extra cautious for refusing temptations that attacks them left right and centre, and you do know how wrong one can go if one is not strong enough to deal with temptations. In fact I see more good looking women suffering that the normal looking ones because people actually fall for their looks and later on they don't find their personalities attractive, and then there's unhappy relationships, divorces, and what not. I for one, have observed that men who desire the most good looking women, are almost always unfaithful, they cheat incessantly and they can never remain bound to one woman, because its lust they are after , not beauty.

So stop living in a shell and stop telling yourself that you're ugly, it is a great ungratefulness to Allah swt, for He always compensates people in good measure. You seem to have a sound head on your shoulders, try increasing your knowledge and skills instead of wasting time in pitying over yourself.

Men , all over the history have been admired for their courage and confidence, and it stands true to this day, stop watching tv and movies and being influenced by a fake medium which only banks on looks. None of the actors/ actresses have perfect lives and most of them aren't even married, or are divorced countless times. I don't seem to understand in this day of exposure who can possibly be so intimidated by beauty when its so much out there selling cheap.

Raise your eeman and find your own worth. Don't mean to be harsh, but be a Man dude.

 

[Who Am I?]

I really can't top what anyone else has said here.

OP, I used to be like you. I complained and felt sorry for myself because I didn't think I looked good. People made fun of me because I was a skinny kid with braces and glasses. That bothered me for a long time. I was depressed from my teenage years all the way into my early 30's because I had low self-esteem from that time. Girls didn't like me and I thought that was all that mattered.

Gradually I came to realize that life is so much more than being in a relationship. I'm still single at 35, but it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to. In fact, at this stage in my life, I am glad to be unattached, because if I were married or in a relationship, it would make my transition to Islam that much harder. As it is, I can concentrate on becoming a better man and getting closer to Allah without the distraction of a wife or girlfriend. So really, my being single right now is a blessing from Allah.