Why do Christians free mix without zina but we can't....?

[Mustafa16]

I have known many religious christians and know about many others who free mix with the opposite sex and have girlfriends and boyfriends but dont ever committ zina out of religious belief, or, for young people, a fear of getting diseases or getting a girl pregnant/becoming pregnant and interfering with studies. I knew a girl in my 12th grade class who free mixed with the opposite sex, was Mexican Hispanic, and got accepted into Harvard and will even be paid A STIPEND for going to UNDERGRAD. I know her friend, who is also a top student, and free mixes but commented that people who fornicate at this age (young adulthood/teenhood) are ruining their futures. I had a blue-collar, Republican-surrounded-by-Republican bus driver (who even watches such fox news morons as sean hannity) and says she tells her kids they dont have to go to college, and is very religious (as you can infer by her demographic) who seems shocked that muslims dont even talk to the opposite sex for fear of zina. i also knew an educated special ed teacher who was an evangelical religious christian (and a republican), who would get shocked when i described gender segregation to her, even as I explained the reasoning wholeheartedly. she even argued with me, saying it is perfectly fine for men and women to be friends.
she is one of the most religious christians i have known. christianity teaches not to fornicate, and its followers have no problem with this, yet we have to get even stricter for the same results, and end up turning the opposite sex into a sex object as a result (and this goes both ways). i also ask because soon, during eid, my mother and i are visiting a non gulenist, secularist turkish woman for eid, and she has a husband, and a daughter around my age (17 or 18, im 18). they probably wont segregate, and my mother doesn't practice it.

 

[Mustafa16]

You really don't know what's going on behind closed doors. The rules of Hijab are in the best interest of all humankind.

The following story should illustrate that for you. Click on the link http://thomrainer.com/2015/08/ashley-madison-adultery-and-the-church/

There's more, much more.

Also, just reflect on what you're going through. That should really be enough for you to realize that free mixing isn't really a good idea.

what im going through has to do with lonliness and an obsession with the opposite sex CAUSED by gender segregation. if i chit chatted freely with a girl and treat her like...i don't know...a human being and a potential friend and later potential wife, wouldn't it be better? id kill two birds with one stone...i gain insight into girls my age and stop treating them like sex objects, and id make a friend without ever being alone or committing zina.

 

[Mustafa16]

You really don't know what's going on behind closed doors. The rules of Hijab are in the best interest of all humankind.

The following story should illustrate that for you. Click on the link http://thomrainer.com/2015/08/ashley-madison-adultery-and-the-church/

There's more, much more.

Also, just reflect on what you're going through. That should really be enough for you to realize that free mixing isn't really a good idea.

also, that still makes up a minority of the population, and it refers to adultery, not fornication.

 

[Mustafa16]

You really don't know what's going on behind closed doors. The rules of Hijab are in the best interest of all humankind.

The following story should illustrate that for you. Click on the link http://thomrainer.com/2015/08/ashley-madison-adultery-and-the-church/

There's more, much more.

Also, just reflect on what you're going through. That should really be enough for you to realize that free mixing isn't really a good idea.

also, it is human nature to take risks for the sake of freedom. otherwise, it is the path to dystopianism (i dont know if you believe in movies, but if you do, try The Giver, or at least read the book)

 

[Mustafa16]

Do you see girls at school?

yes, i do see girls at school

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Mustafa16;

what im going through has to do with lonliness and an obsession with the opposite sex CAUSED by gender segregation.

The opposite sex is a huge temptation.

if i chit chatted freely with a girl and treat her like...i don't know...a human being and a potential friend and later potential wife,

Oscar Wilde famously said, I can resist everything............................Except temptation.

If you call yourself obsessed now, chit chatting with a girl may well increase your obsession, because you are talking about a future wife in the same sentence. Passion can be the result of one meaningful glance, and we can become very weak when it comes to the opposite sex.

We all face our struggles in life, wishing you every blessing and may your journey through Ramadan be accepted.

Eric

 

[talibilm]

You should listen to Uncle Ahmad Deedat's lectures about incest among Chrsitians of SA , when there is incest then the sky is the limit for others zinas, naudhubillah.

But Muslims are the real target for iblis , more than the Non Musllims.

 

[Mustafa16]

Do you find any of them attractive?

I just finished high school. i can never see them again. but yes, when i was there i found some attractive. and likely the same when i go to college.

 

[sister herb]

Why do Christians free mix without zina but we can't....?

Neither Christians do free mix without "zina". If they do, they might not follow teachings of their religion. Why you would like to imitate people whose don´t follow their religion properly but looking for some justifications about bad behavior of others? Fornication, adultery, premarital sex are sins in both Islam and Christianity.

 

[eesa the kiwi]

And how many Christians fell into zina due to their lax view of freemixing?
Bro these laws in Islam are a protection for you

 

[keiv]

I have known many religious christians and know about many others who free mix with the opposite sex and have girlfriends and boyfriends but dont ever committ zina out of religious belief, or, for young people, a fear of getting diseases or getting a girl pregnant/becoming pregnant and interfering with studies. I knew a girl in my 12th grade class who free mixed with the opposite sex, was Mexican Hispanic, and got accepted into Harvard and will even be paid A STIPEND for going to UNDERGRAD. I know her friend, who is also a top student, and free mixes but commented that people who fornicate at this age (young adulthood/teenhood) are ruining their futures. I had a blue-collar, Republican-surrounded-by-Republican bus driver (who even watches such fox news morons as sean hannity) and says she tells her kids they dont have to go to college, and is very religious (as you can infer by her demographic) who seems shocked that muslims dont even talk to the opposite sex for fear of zina. i also knew an educated special ed teacher who was an evangelical religious christian (and a republican), who would get shocked when i described gender segregation to her, even as I explained the reasoning wholeheartedly. she even argued with me, saying it is perfectly fine for men and women to be friends.
she is one of the most religious christians i have known. christianity teaches not to fornicate, and its followers have no problem with this, yet we have to get even stricter for the same results, and end up turning the opposite sex into a sex object as a result (and this goes both ways). i also ask because soon, during eid, my mother and i are visiting a non gulenist, secularist turkish woman for eid, and she has a husband, and a daughter around my age (17 or 18, im 18). they probably wont segregate, and my mother doesn't practice it.

Do you really know this? Obviously, you can't paint everyone with the same brush. Some people do have a sense of self control and are able to limit themselves when free mixing. The more it happens though, the higher the chance of something happening. Even then, a simple conversation with a female friend while eating lunch together can lead you down the wrong path. It does not take much for 'things' to happen. Islam places the restriction on this as to prevent that risk all together. I don't live in a Muslim majority country or let alone know more than 2 Muslims outside my own family and I can tell you free mixing and zina here are rampant.

what im going through has to do with lonliness and an obsession with the opposite sex CAUSED by gender segregation. if i chit chatted freely with a girl and treat her like...i don't know...a human being and a potential friend and later potential wife, wouldn't it be better? id kill two birds with one stone...i gain insight into girls my age and stop treating them like sex objects, and id make a friend without ever being alone or committing zina.

That's all in your head.. There are no restrictions here where I live in the US of course, yet, look at how many women ARE treated like sex objects. Look at all the zina being committed here and everything that goes with it. We now have "friends with benefits" which means being able to sleep with your friends while having no attachments. Even married couples can be "swingers" where they meet other couples to perform sexual acts. Do you really think free mixing is the cure to your problems all the while blaming Islam for it? You're young and you're male. I can't imagine any of us not having gone through that when we were growing up. We all know the feeling. Being a Muslim is both a physical and mental commitment. If you feel weak in either of these things, you need to make dua and take it upon yourself to change.

 

[Simple_Person]

Neither Christians do free mix without "zina". If they do, they might not follow teachings of their religion. Why you would like to imitate people whose don´t follow their religion properly but looking for some justifications about bad behavior of others? Fornication, adultery, premarital sex are sins in both Islam and Christianity.

I have told him in previous topics, about all kind of things just like other brothers and sisters who could even explain things BETTER than me, this guy although young, but just doesn't care about what others say or have to say ..EVEN if it is according to wisdom OR Qur'an and Sunnah. Another brother on this forum also young, but is willing to listen and to process what somebody else says. if he is confused about something, he asks for clarification..in other words that other guy on the forum takes the role of a student. This guy wants to be the teacher and it rather looks like that such posts of his are not questions of wanting to know the answer, but rather to justify the actions he MIGHT be taken for in the future.

This guy is to me comparable to this guy (in the hadith), but on the other side not even that (as the guy in the hadith is open to listen to somebody else). The young guy with Rasullah(saws) is willing to use his mind, but this guy whatever we tell him..he behaves very arrogantly. I do not say somebody is arrogant very easily, because often there is rather the case of miscommunication. However this guy he doesn't want to think and rather follow his desires. Just as he always against starts ranting about whole pro-Gulen issue. A person who does not want to think, it rather looks like he is searching for the key to open door to misguidance. Allah is our witness that we have tried all different methods..being harsh in our wording or soft in our wording...it is all the same it looks like it.

==========Hadith=======

Abu Umamah reported: A young man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, give me permission to commit adultery.” The people turned to rebuke him, saying, “Quiet! Quiet!” The Prophet said, “Come here.” The young man came close and he told him to sit down. The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your mother?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their mothers.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your daughter?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their daughters.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your sister?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their sisters.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your aunts?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their aunts.” The Prophet placed his hand on him and he said, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.” After that, the young man never again turned to anything sinful.

Source used: http://dailyhadith.abuaminaelias.co...ould-you-like-that-for-your-mother-or-sister/
=========================

 

[Mustafa16]

Do you really know this? Obviously, you can't paint everyone with the same brush. Some people do have a sense of self control and are able to limit themselves when free mixing. The more it happens though, the higher the chance of something happening. Even then, a simple conversation with a female friend while eating lunch together can lead you down the wrong path. It does not take much for 'things' to happen. Islam places the restriction on this as to prevent that risk all together. I don't live in a Muslim majority country or let alone know more than 2 Muslims outside my own family and I can tell you free mixing and zina here are rampant.



That's all in your head.. There are no restrictions here where I live in the US of course, yet, look at how many women ARE treated like sex objects. Look at all the zina being committed here and everything that goes with it. We now have "friends with benefits" which means being able to sleep with your friends while having no attachments. Even married couples can be "swingers" where they meet other couples to perform sexual acts. Do you really think free mixing is the cure to your problems all the while blaming Islam for it? You're young and you're male. I can't imagine any of us not having gone through that when we were growing up. We all know the feeling. Being a Muslim is both a physical and mental commitment. If you feel weak in either of these things, you need to make dua and take it upon yourself to change.

so.......should I NOT go to visit that lady's house with my mother? EDIT: or should i request accomodation? i doubt they would take me seriously being a young un and all.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Both women and men view women as sexual objects deep down in there psychology and don't realize it but if carefully analyze the mans action by allah the man is always using her a women can handle a friendship with a man and just be friends but a guy usually cannot it's impossible for him he literally thinks the entire time she likes me and usually his entire motive for being with a girl isn't just to be friends but it's because deep inside he wants some comfort even if it's not zina it's love that will later on go to zina by allah I'm in highschool and there's super goody too shoe kids they may not have sex all the time but according to what I've heard all the good kids participate in basically mating season during prom time they may look religious and they won't commit zina but really all they are doing is being super slow about it so they don't feel bad they make it slow so they get used to breaking the rules so they don't feel bad for sinning watch this video it goes through oppression on women from these ideas


https://youtu.be/PeEmSRl1Tk0

 

[Abz2000]

You should listen to Uncle Ahmad Deedat's lectures about incest among Chrsitians of SA , when there is incest then the sky is the limit for others zinas, naudhubillah.

But Muslims are the real target for iblis , more than the Non Musllims.

JazakAllahukhayran fir the mention of Ahmed Deedat, I'm going to listen to some of his debates again InshaAllah.

His short "deedat hijab funny" answer is thoughtful.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

I have told him in previous topics, about all kind of things just like other brothers and sisters who could even explain things BETTER than me, this guy although young, but just doesn't care about what others say or have to say ..EVEN if it is according to wisdom OR Qur'an and Sunnah. Another brother on this forum also young, but is willing to listen and to process what somebody else says. if he is confused about something, he asks for clarification..in other words that other guy on the forum takes the role of a student. This guy wants to be the teacher and it rather looks like that such posts of his are not questions of wanting to know the answer, but rather to justify the actions he MIGHT be taken for in the future.

This guy is to me comparable to this guy (in the hadith), but on the other side not even that (as the guy in the hadith is open to listen to somebody else). The young guy with Rasullah(saws) is willing to use his mind, but this guy whatever we tell him..he behaves very arrogantly. I do not say somebody is arrogant very easily, because often there is rather the case of miscommunication. However this guy he doesn't want to think and rather follow his desires. Just as he always against starts ranting about whole pro-Gulen issue. A person who does not want to think, it rather looks like he is searching for the key to open door to misguidance. Allah is our witness that we have tried all different methods..being harsh in our wording or soft in our wording...it is all the same it looks like it.

==========Hadith=======

Abu Umamah reported: A young man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, give me permission to commit adultery.” The people turned to rebuke him, saying, “Quiet! Quiet!” The Prophet said, “Come here.” The young man came close and he told him to sit down. The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your mother?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their mothers.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your daughter?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their daughters.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your sister?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their sisters.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your aunts?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their aunts.” The Prophet placed his hand on him and he said, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.” After that, the young man never again turned to anything sinful.

Source used: http://dailyhadith.abuaminaelias.co...ould-you-like-that-for-your-mother-or-sister/
=========================

Let's get back on the defensive side brother he is attacking let us defend let us not attack back

 

[Bobbyflay23]

what im going through has to do with lonliness and an obsession with the opposite sex CAUSED by gender segregation. if i chit chatted freely with a girl and treat her like...i don't know...a human being and a potential friend and later potential wife, wouldn't it be better? id kill two birds with one stone...i gain insight into girls my age and stop treating them like sex objects, and id make a friend without ever being alone or committing zina.

No one in this oversexualized society that isn't married does not have some psychological programming deep in there brain about women in a sexual object manner not even women scientfic evidence concludes that even WOMEN view women as sexual objects. Imagine if every man walked around in super tight underwhere because that's basically what's happening to the women it's just we grew up with it so we don't consider it gross anymore

 

[Mustafa16]

Let's get back on the defensive side brother he is attacking let us defend let us not attack back

hellllloooo? did you not see my post? im asking if i should not visit that secularist lady or just ask for accomodations????

 

[talibilm]

JazakAllahukhayran fir the mention of Ahmed Deedat, I'm going to listen to some of his debates again InshaAllah.

His short "deedat hijab funny" answer is thoughtful.

Bro should watch '' Was Quran copied from the bible ? '' excellent answer from Uncle Deedat. May Allah give the best of the best rewards of Akirah to him for his hours of standings in lectures even our youth will not dare to do

 

[Bobbyflay23]

what im going through has to do with lonliness and an obsession with the opposite sex CAUSED by gender segregation. if i chit chatted freely with a girl and treat her like...i don't know...a human being and a potential friend and later potential wife, wouldn't it be better? id kill two birds with one stone...i gain insight into girls my age and stop treating them like sex objects, and id make a friend without ever being alone or committing zina.

I would just like to point out the hypocrisy in this post because you say you can handle not committing zina yet in the same paragraph you say you have obsesssion with the opposite sex I have nothing against you I am not attacking you but your being contradictory I mean just the other day u said you sit there on your pillow and imagine it's a female and rub your private on it so how can you say you can handle zina allah has more wisdom then you don't question it and if you actually research his decision you'll see how wise it is