Why do Christians free mix without zina but we can't....?

[Simple_Person]

Chapter (3) sūrat āl ʿim'rān (The Family of Imrān)



Sahih International: So by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].



If your kind and he doesn't follow along then it won't make a difference if your rude I don't know what's in the brothers heart but I do know that anyone who truly is arrogant will just get more arrogant when your rude to them

I'm not acting like a angle often times I will do the same thing like it's possible I've done it on Islamic board and not realized it or the times that I've done it to my dad by arguing and screaming at eachover and stuff but like I've acknowledged it and am after every situation trying to fix it and stuff inshallah one day I can have a bunch of sabr for that is probably one of the most important things for a Muslim to have

Brother I agree with everything you said, but why I do or say what I do/say to this guy hasn't to do with being rude or harsh out of the blue.

Let me rephrase it.

I open for example a topic in that topic I say this.

"Why aren't we Muslims allowed to pray side by side with sisters?"

The first comment replies..because Rasullah (saws) did not do that in his time.

I reply ...I know that but I want to understand why.

I get a reply on it saying "besides touching certain madhab say that when you touch another non-Mahram you lose your wudu.

I disagree with what is being said and rather say it is sexist.

Another reply says to me "the male could get distracted during the prayer"

I reply..but I am strong and I don't get distracted so I find it rather superfiscial to also force such strong people like me to not pray side by side with sisters.

Another reply says "Allah says do not APPROACH zina and praying side by side might lead one thing to another"..

I say I am strong and not tempted so why again force me to follow such a rule.

Another comment says Rasullah (saws) has made it so and we obey what Rasullah (saws) has told us to do.

=================

You see there is WANTING to know why something is what it is...although different people give different part of the wisdom behind it ..you listen..you process and you agree to it. The other person rather just doesn't agree to the ruling because he himself compares everything how others do.

With such people if it is yet again the x amount of time that that individual questions Islam but not for the sake of wanting to listen or process what others say that rather looks like a troll. However this forum many other people also reading the topics and such people just create chaos instead of really looking for guidance through other brothers and sisters.

I would say go do your best and in'sha'Allah you will get through to him what many of us have failed to do so.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Brother I agree with everything you said, but why I do or say what I do/say to this guy hasn't to do with being rude or harsh out of the blue.

Let me rephrase it.

I open for example a topic in that topic I say this.

"Why aren't we Muslims allowed to pray side by side with sisters?"

The first comment replies..because Rasullah (saws) did not do that in his time.

I reply ...I know that but I want to understand why.

I get a reply on it saying "besides touching certain madhab say that when you touch another non-Mahram you lose your wudu.

I disagree with what is being said and rather say it is sexist.

Another reply says to me "the male could get distracted during the prayer"

I reply..but I am strong and I don't get distracted so I find it rather superfiscial to also force such strong people like me to not pray side by side with sisters.

Another reply says "Allah says do not APPROACH zina and praying side by side might lead one thing to another"..

I say I am strong and not tempted so why again force me to follow such a rule.

Another comment says Rasullah (saws) has made it so and we obey what Rasullah (saws) has told us to do.

=================

You see there is WANTING to know why something is what it is...although different people give different part of the wisdom behind it ..you listen..you process and you agree to it. The other person rather just doesn't agree to the ruling because he himself compares everything how others do.

With such people if it is yet again the x amount of time that that individual questions Islam but not for the sake of wanting to listen or process what others say that rather looks like a troll. However this forum many other people also reading the topics and such people just create chaos instead of really looking for guidance through other brothers and sisters.

I would say go do your best and in'sha'Allah you will get through to him what many of us have failed to do so.

I understand that you used to be gentle with him I was just giving you advice and a reminder or maybe that's not true because I did keep replying over it if I was giving a reminder I probably would've said only one thing now wouldn't I but I kept defending my opinion

 

[Simple_Person]

I understand that you used to be gentle with him I was just giving you advice and a reminder or maybe that's not true because I did keep replying over it if I was giving a reminder I probably would've said only one thing now wouldn't I but I kept defending my opinion

Your opinion isn't bad or wrong but do right now the necessary struggle with the this guy and then you will realize that there are people that just want to complain or want to justify their corrupt way of thinking or even attack Islam because it doesn't fit their narative. Be lenient towards people who act all harsh towards you..be gentle with them although they might not be towards you.

The ignorant ones also be gentle with them.

The troll however is just wasting your time and his own time. Off course do not be rude to the troll but make it known to other people that it is a troll and people should not spent time on what be says.

So do your best and what majority of us did not get through to him you might be. May Allah give you strength and sabr.

 

[.alhamdulillah.]

Didn't women and men in the time of the Prophet do business together, communicate with eachother, etc....

Who says it is wrong at all for men and women to be around eachother at all, as long as there is a purpose behind it? Is there actual Islamic evidence for that are just extreme conservatism even past what the sahabas and Prophet/Quran have implemented.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Didn't women and men in the time of the Prophet do business together, communicate with eachother, etc....

Who says it is wrong at all for men and women to be around eachother at all, as long as there is a purpose behind it? Is there actual Islamic evidence for that are just extreme conservatism even past what the sahabas and Prophet/Quran have implemented.

There's a difference between being friends and like joking around and all that stuff which leads to zina

And then treating someone like a normal human being as in actually genuinely asking them hey what's 5 + 5 not hey do you want to do "homework" at my house ya know? Even musa (as) approached those 2 ladies asking them what they where doing and if they needed help in some situations it's ok allah is completely okay with you talking to them and stuff but he's not okay with you trusting them (friendship) and even softening your voice to talk to them and stuff

For example even if you where going up to them to ask somthing like hey I heard I'm going to iftar at your house what's for lunch? Or somthing like that even a genuine question needs a way to saying it like you can't soften your voice and stuff

Like this video would describe it better I'm pretty sure it's been shared on IB before but it's about 5 minutes long and describes what I'm saying

https://youtu.be/KUh_6xSVeMQ

 

[Ibn Yaqzan]

hellllloooo? did you not see my post? im asking if i should not visit that secularist lady or just ask for accomodations????

You are a weird person. You really got some issues. I feel bad about posting it, but I have to. What is up with your attitude? Securalist lady?

Learn some manners first. When you see that lady are you gonna call to her by saying: hello secularist lady I am here. Stop that because it is backbiting.

 

[.alhamdulillah.]

There's a difference between being friends and like joking around and all that stuff which leads to zina

And then treating someone like a normal human being as in actually genuinely asking them hey what's 5 + 5 not hey do you want to do "homework" at my house ya know? Even musa (as) approached those 2 ladies asking them what they where doing and if they needed help in some situations it's ok allah is completely okay with you talking to them and stuff but he's not okay with you trusting them (friendship) and even softening your voice to talk to them and stuff

For example even if you where going up to them to ask somthing like hey I heard I'm going to iftar at your house what's for lunch? Or somthing like that even a genuine question needs a way to saying it like you can't soften your voice and stuff

Like this video would describe it better I'm pretty sure it's been shared on IB before but it's about 5 minutes long and describes what I'm saying

https://youtu.be/KUh_6xSVeMQ

What you are saying is exactly what I mean - when their is a purpose it's fine, but nowadays to say it is haram for women and men to even be together at all, or that all religious events and masjids have to be segregated 100% and if they are not it's haram and if a man comes they get the door slammed in their face.... that time of extremism is what seems to be messed up nowadays.

The haram label thrown on every type of male/female interaction or gathering is what's annoying and I haven't seen proof it is haram, even if it may be better.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

What you are saying is exactly what I mean - when their is a purpose it's fine, but nowadays to say it is haram for women and men to even be together at all, or that all religious events and masjids have to be segregated 100% and if they are not it's haram and if a man comes they get the door slammed in their face.... that time of extremism is what seems to be messed up nowadays.

The haram label thrown on every type of male/female interaction or gathering is what's annoying and I haven't seen proof it is haram, even if it may be better.

Yea but the reason why we are saying haram and stuff is because mustfa basically wants to befriend females and stuff

 

[Mustafa16]

Guys? I already decided not to free mix? what on earth are you guys debating over? did you not read my post?

 

[Simple_Person]

Didn't women and men in the time of the Prophet do business together, communicate with eachother, etc....

Who says it is wrong at all for men and women to be around eachother at all, as long as there is a purpose behind it? Is there actual Islamic evidence for that are just extreme conservatism even past what the sahabas and Prophet/Quran have implemented.

I totally agree with you and I am not saying it is forbidden to do business with each other. However the mixing part is something else.

From the example of Musa (as) with the two sisters and their animals shows they can also work. Musa (as) also approached them in a very direct manner ..not first all soft and giggly or saying hello first...but he just went directly to the point. Which indicates indeed doing business or talking to one another is permissible. The mixing part is not. So let's say a woman has a shop next to her shop is the shop there is another shop and it belongs to a man. All permissible..

But a man working at the woman's shop who is non-mahram one could say is not permissible. However that story of Musa (as) can be interpeted different ways. For example women can work in the same company as long as they are not mixed. The contact between them is direct and strictly professional and kept to a minimum.

So set such rulings but do not mix when working.

 

[Simple_Person]

You are a weird person. You really got some issues. I feel bad about posting it, but I have to. What is up with your attitude? Securalist lady?

Learn some manners first. When you see that lady are you gonna call to her by saying: hello secularist lady I am here. Stop that because it is backbiting.

Brother, every one of us got their own issues and faults. Please on such things still be polite when trying to address him.

He maybe did not know about that or that approach being bad. Just educate him so he knows and understands it. If he still says what I am doing or saying is good and nothing wrong with it when you know better then things become different.

But be polite. JazakAllah khairan

 

[Mustafa16]

Everyone! I forgot to mention! I went over to the Turkish lady's house for Eid on the last day of Eid, and her daughter was very sick and upstairs in her bed, so I didn't get a chance to see her anyway. My mother said we could visit them once every two weeks during my college, and I could be friends with the girl, but she warned me not to have a romantic relationship. I think perhaps it is better if I just don't talk to her at all, based on what you all are telling me, what say you?

 

[Ibn Yaqzan]

Any relationship between a man and woman is forbidden not only romantic. So you have to be careful. Follow the quran and sunnah, otherwise you will end up regretting your actions.

 

[azc]

Everyone! I forgot to mention! I went over to the Turkish lady's house for Eid on the last day of Eid, and her daughter was very sick and upstairs in her bed, so I didn't get a chance to see her anyway. My mother said we could visit them once every two weeks during my college, and I could be friends with the girl, but she warned me not to have a romantic relationship. I think perhaps it is better if I just don't talk to her at all, based on what you all are telling me, what say you?

you sound weak in controlling your heart from falling in love or at least infatuation. So keep a distance from this new girl.

 

[Mustafa16]

Any relationship between a man and woman is forbidden not only romantic. So you have to be careful. Follow the quran and sunnah, otherwise you will end up regretting your actions.

brother, first of all, are you wahhabi? second, how else am I going to get married when my father is very distant from me and often gets angry with me and doesn't talk to me due to divorce and us living far off, and my mother being somewhat secular (she uses riba, doesn't wear hijab, eats non zabiha meat, listens to music, free mixes, etc.) and her expecting me to find someone on my own, and only occasionally says she'll find me someone, and she isn't religious to begin with, and her friends are all gulenist.....and all the muslims i know in person being gulenist (search gulen movement, if you dont know what im talking about), and many of them hating me so that's also an issue despite the fact that the vast majority of them practice gender segregation, and my options being limited, and me having autism thus leading to possible misunderstandings if I was to have a "quick marriage" rather than long term friendship......what should i do? also, ill be supervised the whole time, so i still dont FULLY see how its an issue, but i know deep down it is forbidden.

- - - Updated - - -

Any relationship between a man and woman is forbidden not only romantic. So you have to be careful. Follow the quran and sunnah, otherwise you will end up regretting your actions.

brother, first of all, are you wahhabi? second, how else am I going to get married when my father is very distant from me and often gets angry with me and doesn't talk to me due to divorce and us living far off, and my mother being somewhat secular (she uses riba, doesn't wear hijab, eats non zabiha meat, listens to music, free mixes, etc.) and her expecting me to find someone on my own, and only occasionally says she'll find me someone, and she isn't religious to begin with, and her friends are all gulenist.....and all the muslims i know in person being gulenist (search gulen movement, if you dont know what im talking about), and many of them hating me so that's also an issue despite the fact that the vast majority of them practice gender segregation, and my options being limited, and me having autism thus leading to possible misunderstandings if I was to have a "quick marriage" rather than long term friendship......what should i do? also, ill be supervised the whole time, so i still dont FULLY see how its an issue, but i know deep down it is forbidden.

- - - Updated - - -

Any relationship between a man and woman is forbidden not only romantic. So you have to be careful. Follow the quran and sunnah, otherwise you will end up regretting your actions.

also, i am scared to approach new islamic insitutions due to their political beliefs and potential extremism or political nature of their mosques. and because i am shy and have autism.

 

[Serinity]

Men and women can not just be "Friends". Men will eventually develop feelings. That is how we are created.

Look at this video for proof:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=can+men+and+women+be+just+friends