You could use the original khalifate as an example then. It had almost continual wars of aggression with its neighbors until it ran out of neighbors it could conquer.
If you want current examples I agree that Iran is not he best example, but let's look at Iraq. In the last 50, not even 300, years they have attacked Israel, Iran and Kuwait. Far more people died in the Iran/Iraq war than in the current war in Iraq, and the majority of deaths in the current war were caused by Muslim on Muslim violence.
Iran is poor analogy with the US in this circumstance since their military power is extremely limited. Instead Iran simply funds and trains other people to do their fighting for them because they cannot handle it militarily. If Iran was more powerful militarily I have little doubt that you would see a large difference in their foreign relations. Simply look at the rhetoric of their president when it comes to Israel. And what other state often leads its people in chants calling for the "death" of another country? Just because the means are not there does not mean that the will is not there.
The Turkish-Iranian border hasn't changed since the Treaty of Zuhab (Kasri Shirin) in 1639.
And the US/Canada border is the worlds longest un-militarized border, and has been in place since 1846. If borders are your litmus test for aggressiveness then the US hasn't been aggressive since the end of the Mexican-American War. So even though Iran and Turkey have shared a border for X number of years is not proof of non-aggressiveness.
However, a lot of people don't realize that there is a major difference between aggressive or less aggressive interventions in other states and some of the issues you mentioned - such as oppression of women within a certain state (which is an internal issue).
But is because of those internal issues that many Muslims move to "Western" countries. In the US they are free to practice their religion however they want, not how the government tells them they have to.
They can also teach their children however they want. You can compare that to Iran which is "revising" what can be taught in their universities because they believe such subjects as women's studies and human rights are too "Western".
In the US Muslims have the freedom to send their children to Muslim schools in which the government does not control the curriculum. They can also home school their children.
It is because of freedoms like this, and many others, that many Muslims are pro-American.