Why Do People Blame Rape Victims? On The Vicious Cycle Of Victim-Blaming

[AnnaK]

The disbelievers prolly masturbate instead to indecent websites - whatever it is - clothing plays an impact. If women dresses like prostitutes they are inviting uninvited rapists - and they are contributing to it.

So no, dress plays a part.

Are you victim blaming? Are you saying it's the victims fault that they get raped because of what they wear? The victim could wear anything from multiple layers of clothing to three pieces if tape, and anywhere on that spectrum she shouldn't be blamed. If the way women dress causes men to rape, then nudist communes would be rape infested cities, but they're NOT. Clothing does not play a role. If it did, beaches would be rape epicenters, but they're NOT. Clothing doesn't play a role.

 

[Serinity]

Are you victim blaming? Are you saying it's the victims fault that they get raped because of what they wear? The victim could wear anything from multiple layers of clothing to three pieces if tape, and anywhere on that spectrum she shouldn't be blamed. If the way women dress causes men to rape, then nudist communes would be rape infested cities, but they're NOT. Clothing does not play a role. If it did, beaches would be rape epicenters, but they're NOT. Clothing doesn't play a role.

I'm not victim blaming I am simply stating facts - don't be naive - clothing does play a part. It is a contributor.

I do blame the way they dress - they are inviting rape they dont want. Proly naive.

 

[AnnaK]

I'm not victim blaming I am simply stating facts - don't be naive - clothing does play a part. It is a contributor.

I do blame the way they dress - they are inviting rape they dont want. Proly naive.

Do you know what the definition of victim blaming is? That last sentence was unrefutable victim blaming.

 

[Serinity]

Do you know what the definition of victim blaming is? That last sentence was unrefutable victim blaming.

They are a victim of the societal system who makes it ok and acceptable to walk around in "prostitute" clothing. Which it basically is. It is true - they are inviting unwanted rape. Although they don't want rape.

The fact that nudist beaches are not raped is not a valid arguement to your "clothing does not play a part".

It does play a part, and the reason beaches are not raped is because rapists don't want to be caught.

One would have to be incredibly naive to think clothing has no part in it.

 

[AnnaK]

They are a victim of the societal system who makes it ok and acceptable to walk around in "prostitute" clothing. Which it basically is. It is true - they are inviting unwanted rape. Although they don't want rape.

The fact that nudist beaches are not raped is not a valid arguement to your "clothing does not play a part".

It does play a part, and the reason beaches are not raped is because rapists don't want to be caught.

One would have to be incredibly naive to think clothing has no part in it.

An example of rape culture according to Southern Connecticut State University is, "Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history."

What did you call it again? ""Prostitute" clothing"? And you were saying that the way women dress affects the chances of them being raped. So, her dressing like a "prostitute" would further increase her risk of rape. I think calling what women wear ""prostitute" clothing" would be considered "Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress."

In other words, what you are saying, according to Southern Connecticut State University is rape culture.

One more thing from the Southern Connecticut State University: "FACT: Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault." That would imply that regardless of how they dress, it's not their fault. We shouldn't be insulting women for how they dress. Instead, we should be teaching people to respect women, rather than use them as objects for their sexual pleasure.

The fact that we're arguing about how victims dress rather than the rapist and how fast we should fry them is despicable. I don't want to argue about this any more than you probably do, so I'm not responding to anything else on this matter. To clarify though, please when talking about rape, never focus on what the victim was wearing. It's degrading that we even need to have a conversation on this.

Anyways, I hope you have a good day (or night, depending on where you are).

 

[kritikvernunft]

I hope every women gets every sin for dressing provocatively!

We all get punished for our sins, if not in this life, then in the next one. The earlier the punishment for our misdeeds, the better, and the more grateful we should be to our Beloved Master!

 

[Serinity]

An example of rape culture according to Southern Connecticut State University is, "Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history."

What did you call it again? ""Prostitute" clothing"? And you were saying that the way women dress affects the chances of them being raped. So, her dressing like a "prostitute" would further increase her risk of rape. I think calling what women wear ""prostitute" clothing" would be considered "Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress."

In other words, what you are saying, according to Southern Connecticut State University is rape culture.

One more thing from the Southern Connecticut State University: "FACT: Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault." That would imply that regardless of how they dress, it's not their fault. We shouldn't be insulting women for how they dress. Instead, we should be teaching people to respect women, rather than use them as objects for their sexual pleasure.

The fact that we're arguing about how victims dress rather than the rapist and how fast we should fry them is despicable. I don't want to argue about this any more than you probably do, so I'm not responding to anything else on this matter. To clarify though, please when talking about rape, never focus on what the victim was wearing. It's degrading that we even need to have a conversation on this.

Anyways, I hope you have a good day (or night, depending on where you are).

I call it stating facts. Good day.

 

[darkbro]

Men in America aren't raping women at extreme rates, and the standard for women in the US is shorts that barely cover the butt, and shirts that don't cover the belly button. The "rape capital of the world" is India, and the women dress much more conservative there. The problem isn't the way women dress; the problem is the way men act, and the way men objectify women.

Saying men are pigs that can't control themselves is a terrible excuse.

Wrong. US exceeds India's raping case, even in rape rate (number of rape per population).

The super power of the world is at the first position in the race of rapes. Males are majorly the rapist holding a proportion of 99%. Out of all the victims, 91% are females while 9% are males. The U.S Bureau of Justice Statistics states that 91% of rape victims are female and 9% are male, and nearly 99% of rapists are male. According to the National Violence Against Women Survey, 1 in 6 U.S. women and 1 in 33 U.S. men has experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. More than a quarter of college-age women report having experienced a rape or rape attempt since age 14. Out of all, only 16% of the total cases are reported. Outdoor rape is not common in USA rather most of the rape cases takes place inside homes.

http://www.wonderslist.com/10-countries-highest-rape-crime/

 

[Serinity]

With the clothing people wear, and with the hypersexualised industry and society, no wonder there is rape.

 

[ardianto]

With the clothing people wear, and with the hypersexualised industry and society, no wonder there is rape.

One cause that make Indonesia stop sending maids to Saudi Arabia is rape cases that committed by the Saudi employers or family member toward Indonesian maids.

Even in ultra-conservative society rape still happen.

 

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)

With the clothing people wear, and with the hypersexualised industry and society, no wonder there is rape.

I just wanted to ask some genuine questions out of curiosity to you and @Born_Believer or any other brothers (Muslim or non-Muslim) questions, and, please, I want completely honest answers as it has always struck me that as a woman I seem to lack some understanding and insight into why men talk about women's clothing. Therefore, my questions are as follows:

1. When a normal man, for example, sees a woman dressed immodestly or provocatively, is he tempted to rape her?

2. Is the thought of raping a woman one which frequently crosses a normal man's brain whenever he sees the aforesaid immodestly or provocatively dressed woman?

3. And if the thought of raping the woman does cross a normal man's brain, then what is the tipping point that pushes him over?

4. Also, if clothing is one of the main factors that either inclines or causes normal men to rape, then why are women who are dressed modestly also equally likely to be raped?

The reason I'm asking these questions is because the propositions put forth have import far beyond the scope of the discussion of women's choice of clothing. If we're making the argument that a woman's immodest clothing has an effect on men's inclination to rape or causes them to rape, then potentially we're saying that in at least countries wherein liberal dressing styles are common all men (non-Muslim and non-Muslim) are potential rapists. I'm trying to understand then if this is true and then to what degree this is true. And also, I'm trying to understand then what would account for men not respecting enough the perceived modesty of modestly dressed women to not rape them. Additionally, I'm trying to understand if rapes are about sexual desire and if so to what degree.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

 

[darkbro]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)



I just wanted to ask some genuine questions out of curiosity to you and @Born_Believer or any other brothers (Muslim or non-Muslim) questions, and, please, I want completely honest answers as it has always struck me that as a woman I seem to lack some understanding and insight into why men talk about women's clothing. Therefore, my questions are as follows:

1. When a normal man, for example, sees a woman dressed immodestly or provocatively, is he tempted to rape her?

2. Is the thought of raping a woman one which frequently crosses a normal man's brain whenever he sees the aforesaid immodestly or provocatively dressed woman?

3. And if the thought of raping the woman does cross a normal man's brain, then what is the tipping point that pushes him over?

4. Also, if clothing is one of the main factors that either inclines or causes normal men to rape, then why are women who are dressed modestly also equally likely to be raped?

The reason I'm asking these questions is because the propositions put forth have import far beyond the scope of the discussion of women's choice of clothing. If we're making the argument that a woman's immodest clothing has an effect on men's inclination to rape or causes them to rape, then potentially we're saying that in at least countries wherein liberal dressing styles are common all men (non-Muslim and non-Muslim) are potential rapists. I'm trying to understand then if this is true and then to what degree this is true. And also, I'm trying to understand then what would account for men not respecting enough the perceived modesty of modestly dressed women to not rape them. Additionally, I'm trying to understand if rapes are about sexual desire and if so to what degree.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

I'm sure one of the root causes of raping is porn..

Porns are everywhere. Billboards, TVs, internet.. subliminal messages..

Clothes may trigger desires

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

The punishment for rape is execution, but the West has taken out the death penalty. Were executions carried out on rapists, the amount of rape cases would reduce very quickly.

With regards to clothing:

Women must understand that we do not live in an ideal world. People - both men and women - are not what you'd expect them to be, or want them to be. Things you do have consequences. A woman must realise that when she dresses immodestly, wearing a micro-mini for example, that is - without a doubt - going to cause the urges of certain men - particularly those who are unmarried - to skyrocket. Now, in a perfect world they would not rape. But this is not a perfect world. This is "Dunyaa". So when they have those urges, they will not care who they harm in the way of satisfying themselves. If she had been fully covered up, they would not have become as aroused when seeing her. Pay attention to the keyword here: "as". They would not become "as aroused". Meaning they will, but not to the extent as when she is exposing her body. Take one of those unmarried men, and the likelihood of him raping a woman is, for example, 5%. If she's fully covered up, it's 5%. If she's wearing a skirt and her arms till just above the elbows are uncovered, it's 10%. If she's wearing a micro-mini and halter top, it's 85%. If she's walking around in a bikini, it's 97% that the men who see her are going to interfere with her and will not hold themselves back.

That is the reality of the Dunyaa. People must understand the reality and act accordingly.

For example, here in SA, if you walk in the street with your cellphone in your hand, particularly a woman, there is a 70% chance someone's going to run past and grab it. Now, you could argue that, "I'm just walking around with my own cellphone in my hand! I'm not to blame for someone stealing it!" But in SA, you will be blamed. People will say, "You are a fool. How can you walk around in NU11 or Izinyoka with a Samsung Galaxy S7 in your hand? You're asking for it to be stolen." Is that the ideal situation? No, it isn't. But it's the way things are. Complaining won't solve anything. It's a fact of life that men will be more inclined to rape if they see a woman with her body open. They would still rape a woman who is covered, but the likelihood is less.

To rape someone entails a great deal of risk: the likelihood of the rapist getting caught or facing bad consequences from it (in the form of the husband or male relatives hunting him down) is high. So, when they see a woman who is covered, they don't know what she looks like, so they're not as ready to take that risk. When they see a woman walking around in a mini-skirt, though, and she is attractive looking, then they think, "It's worth it."

So, realise that the Dunyaa is not like how people want it to be. It's the way it is. Certain things cause provocations more than others.

والسلام​

 

[MuslimInshallah]

I see, so psychopaths rape people? They can be..... I mean, enjoying to kill and humiliate people is just wrong, very wrong.

It seems like it is more of a societal issue, than it is the victim's.. Although the clothing may and does play a role, no sane man would rape a woman because of a temptation.

And seeing that modest people get raped, and btw, I am not defending criminals with the excuse of "temptations". But it does play a factor.

reinstating the Death Penalty for rape - a Public Execution, may deter many criminals..............

I am still firm on that those who dress provocatively - are their own imprisoners.
What do you see as a factor that contributes towards rape?

Assalaamu alaikum Serenity,


Mmm... while psychopathy could be a form of disease that would bring a man to be more likely to rape, I do not think that rapists are always or even often psychopaths. I think the roots of the problem often lie more in male feelings of helplessness. No one likes to feel helpless and vulnerable, and one way that men who feel this way deal with their feelings of weakness is to try to assert power over another person, often a woman. Of course, it doesn't really help, as the underlying fear is still there. But it briefly gives a sense of powerfulness.

(smile) If you, Serenity, feel attracted to a woman, this does not make you a potential rapist, you know. It means you're a healthy man. I do not at all believe that a normal sexually aroused man becomes a potential rapist, because hurting and humiliating a woman is not part of a normal sexual response. Indeed, a healthy man is awash in a nurturing hormone after sex. This causes tender feelings and a desire to look after and protect the woman (incidentally, this hormone also causes tender feelings in mothers towards their children). But it seems to me that decent, healthy men are perhaps afraid that they might be potential rapists. And so, they seek ways to explain what might cause a man to rape. And feeling sexually aroused by a woman in clothes that are often designed (by the clothes manufacturers) to elicit a response in men... it seems like a natural explanation for what they fear they might (but actually wouldn't) do.

But rape has nothing to do with a normal sexual response. Allah Designed men and women to look after one another, He Endowed us with love and mercy for one another, both for our good, and for the good of our potential children. An emotionally and mentally healthy man would not find it sexually or emotionally gratifying to hurt and humiliate a woman.

For me, the importance of how I dress has to do with politeness. Knowing that God has Designed men to be sexually aroused by a woman's body, I take that into account. Just as it would be rude of me to waft chocolate cake under the nose of a friend I know is fasting and has a partiality to chocolate cake, I feel it would be rude of me to knowingly try to provoke a sexual response in a man other than my husband.

However, there is one way in which a woman's dress might increase her likelihood of rape: and that is if it identifies her as being of a vulnerable group. A man who is seeking a woman to hurt in order to try to get rid of his own feelings of weakness is often essentially a coward. He will look for an easy target. A woman who is part of a marginalized group in society, is one that is less protected, and one whom the perpetrator is less likely to be held accountable for harming. This is why women of a minority or subjugated ethnic or social group are more at risk of rape and harm in general.

(sigh) So, for instance, in the context of being in a society that holds hostile feelings towards Muslims, a woman who dresses in a way that identifies her as Muslim, could actually be at an increased risk of being assaulted. Is this her fault? No, of course not.

Dress is not the issue in rape. From what I can see, the social climate and certain mental or emotional pathologies (including a man's inappropriate ways of dealing with feelings of weakness) are the key problems.


May Allah, the Subtle, Help us to understand and to be just.

 

[Serinity]

1. When a normal man, for example, sees a woman dressed immodestly or provocatively, is he tempted to rape her?

No, not at all. But one does become sexually aroused.

2. Is the thought of raping a woman one which frequently crosses a normal man's brain whenever he sees the aforesaid immodestly or provocatively dressed woman?

No, sexual desire is a factor in contribution to rape.

One'd have to cross several moral boundaries to rape someone..... OR they might think "It is worth it(the risk)"

3. And if the thought of raping the woman does cross a normal man's brain, then what is the tipping point that pushes him over?

I am not a rapist, so Idk.

But this never, ever, excuses a woman from saying "So what if I am wearing mini skirts! They can just look away.​" The last line is pure ignorance.

But sexual desire may be the thing the man "wants".

The way I deal with it is restraining my thoughts, by focusing my eyes on an inanimate object. lol. However, the want to rape, never ever comes to mind or even connects with my desires.

But I find it arrogant of women to say "So what?"

One has to cross many moral boundaries, and one's goal has to be - or so the man thinks/feels - worth the risk.

I don't think mere desires is the tipping factor, however, it is a factor. Why else would one want to rape women? It could also be out of desperation.

Regardless of the reasons - it is cowardice, weak, and very low to rape women. Execution by sword is a befitting punishment.

Allahu alam.

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

They can look away, but they won't. Walk with a wad of money in your hand in Soweto and the people there "can" look away, but they won't. They'll stab you in the neck as they run past and grab it.

That's life.

Complaining about things doesn't change them.

 

[sister herb]

I'm sure one of the root causes of raping is porn..

Porns are everywhere. Billboards, TVs, internet.. subliminal messages..

Clothes may trigger desires

That is a good explanation as porn is mostly very abusive. But raping is far more older way to humiliate someone than porn industry has been exist.

 

[darkbro]

That is a good explanation as porn is mostly very abusive. But raping is far more older way to humiliate someone than porn industry has been exist.

Nah, you're wrong. Porn industry has been existed looong way ago. Remember the Romans nude statues? The nude sculptures? People of Lot? India's Khajuraho? City of Pompeii?

 

[Born_Believer]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)



I just wanted to ask some genuine questions out of curiosity to you and @Born_Believer or any other brothers (Muslim or non-Muslim) questions, and, please, I want completely honest answers as it has always struck me that as a woman I seem to lack some understanding and insight into why men talk about women's clothing. Therefore, my questions are as follows:

1. When a normal man, for example, sees a woman dressed immodestly or provocatively, is he tempted to rape her?

2. Is the thought of raping a woman one which frequently crosses a normal man's brain whenever he sees the aforesaid immodestly or provocatively dressed woman?

3. And if the thought of raping the woman does cross a normal man's brain, then what is the tipping point that pushes him over?

4. Also, if clothing is one of the main factors that either inclines or causes normal men to rape, then why are women who are dressed modestly also equally likely to be raped?

The reason I'm asking these questions is because the propositions put forth have import far beyond the scope of the discussion of women's choice of clothing. If we're making the argument that a woman's immodest clothing has an effect on men's inclination to rape or causes them to rape, then potentially we're saying that in at least countries wherein liberal dressing styles are common all men (non-Muslim and non-Muslim) are potential rapists. I'm trying to understand then if this is true and then to what degree this is true. And also, I'm trying to understand then what would account for men not respecting enough the perceived modesty of modestly dressed women to not rape them. Additionally, I'm trying to understand if rapes are about sexual desire and if so to what degree.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

Walaikum Salam!

I will answer your questions first and then raise some far more important points, some of which I touched on in my previous post here. However, I will post that later as I'm in a bit of a hurry atm sorry.

So, just to answer the questions first (from my own "normal" perspective):

1. No. Never. However, there is absolutely no doubt that seeing a beautiful woman, dressed a particular way is most certainly a turn on but being practicing and understanding of my religion, I never gawp at a woman or follow her all the way till she is out of sight, as many men do, especially those with barely any inclination towards religion.

2. Again, no. Never.

3. I'll try and delve deeper into this when I make my next detailed post. mg:

4. Again, similarly to number 3. However, two things I'd like to say here. First, it's not just how a woman is dressed. Second, I dunno if it is statistically the same for modestly or immodestly dressed women to get raped. For example, in my own personal demographic (students) 1 in 7 female university students are likely to have been raped in the UK. Most of it occurs during nights out with a mixture of alcohol and darkness. Oh, and I'm certain girls aren't dressed like nuns out on the streets of Leicester Square or Piccadilly during a student night event.

Bare with me for my post, I just need to finish up another write up. Excusez moi.

 

[Search]

^^^

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)

I'll look forward to your response, brother @Born_Believer, and I also want to take a moment to thank all the brothers who responded as well: @darkbro @Serenity @Huzaifah ibn Adam.

God-willing, I'll respond as well, but I do want to hear some more responses before I do; thank you all for your honesty and time and consideration and patience.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)