Wife Beating

[touba]

i think beating on the bed part is a kind of rape on the wife just what i think imsad

I know what you mean but we are talking different

 

[Rasema]

i think beating on the bed part is a kind of rape on the wife just what i think imsad

The hadeeths just say that a woman shouldn't refuse her husband in bed and if she does that the angels would be angry at her.

I don't know from where did the sister get that a husband can beat her for that. From where,sis?

 

[Rasema]

I do but Allah SWT said beat the wife if she refuse you in the bed ( wadrabouhounna fil madaji3i) sadaka Allah Al 3azim.

Assalamu Alikum

Is this your own interpretation?

I don't mind if that's what the Qur'an says just want to make sure.

 

[Snowflake]

i think beating on the bed part is a kind of rape on the wife just what i think imsad

Bro, it doesn't say anywhere to beat the wife in the bed, or even to beat her at that.

I do but Allah SWT said beat the wife if she refuse you in the bed ( wadrabouhounna fil madaji3i) sadaka Allah Al 3azim.

Are you saying the Prophet's hadith contradict the Quran? :hmm:

Prophet Muhammad (P) discouraged this measure. Among his sayings are the following: "Do not beat the female servants of Allah;" "Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you;" and"[It is not a shame that] one of you beats his wife like [an unscrupulous person] beats a slave and maybe he sleeps with her at the end of the day." (See Riyadh Al-Saliheen, op.cit,p.p. 137-140). In another hadith the Prophet(P) said:

...How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?... (Sahih Al-Bukhari,op.cit., vol.8.hadith 68,pp.42-43).

 

[GuestFellow]

Many people claim that wife beating is allowed or encouraged in islam. They use several quotes from the Quran. When I asked my mom, she immediately said it was haram (prohibited), she denounced it. I was wondering is someone could clarify or discuss wife beating.

Thank you, Ramadan Mubarak

Asslamu Alikum.

Here is what I know. Other members may wish to correct me if I make any mistake and I apologise if I make any.

I know some Muslim men feel they have the right to hit or beat their wives. In the Quran there is one verse that speaks of it from my knowledge. It is mentioned specifically in connection with divorce proceedings in cases of wife's nushuz (refusal to listen to reason).

''As to those women on whose part you fear nushuz (disloyalty and ill-conduct), rebuke them, and refuse to share their beds, beat (or overcome) them; if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).''

Surah 4.34

It is now important to refer to the Sunnah of the Prophet P.B.U.H.

The Prophet made is very clear:

1. He never used this sanction.
2. He never struck any women (or children)
3. He pointed out that a man could hardly hit his wife and then expects her to share his bed later that night.
4. The Prophet despised any sort of abuse.

If a husband who had not been at fault that his wife was conducting herself to his shame, then as a protector of his household he should not just ignore it but it is his duty to do something about it.

Nushuz or rebellion meant ill-will every kind of deliberate bad behaviour of a wife towards a husband and family (including children of the family, old people or dependent household staff). With luck it would be enough to draw attention verbally and resolve this matter through communication.

The next verse advised if the marriage was breaking up, then the court should call in help of two supporters one for each spouse, who would listen to everything that needed saying and help claim things down. If the couple wish for peace, Allah will show a way of reconciliation.

There was never any suggestion that one spouse should ever hit the other out of anger, frustration, irritation, annoyance or disappointment. People would ultimately be held accountable for that kind of behaviour on the Day of Judgement.

The husband cannot bruise his wife. The wife can sue the husband if he had beaten her.

''A wife has no religious obligation to take a beating. She can ask for and get a divorce any time...If the husband beats a wife without respecting the limits set down by the Qur'an she can take him to court and if ruled in favour has the right to apply law of retaliation and may have the husband beaten has he beat her''

{Dr Ahmad Shafaat}

Only REASONABLE force should be used. Not to leave any mark and not to hurt the wife either. Like a slap on the wrist.

Hope this answers your question.

 

[Rasema]

Assalamu Aliaikum

Sister, the Qur'an is a perfect book and the prophet explained it.

Make sure you look ito the tafsir before saying Qur'an says this that.

I'm no one to give you an advice by the way

 

[Snowflake]

jazakAllahu khayr brother Guestfellow

 

[czgibson]

Greetings,

.
No offence, but aren't you also being one of those who interpret the verses themselves?

Yes, but I don't think you've quite grasped my meaning. This might not be the correct interpretation, but it is an interpretation that someone could quite easily make, and I think it is dangerous. I will try and explain why.

I take you have read when, where and how the term the 'beating' applies?

I've read everything has posted in this thread, and in the threads where this has come up before.

Any man who implements the teachings of Islam in his life, would not be violent to his wife or anyone else in the first place, and would know his limits.

No true Scotsman fallacy.

Whatsmore is, a non religious man isn't going to beat his wife to 'improve' a situation but to punish her. And we have those in all walks of life.

I'm talking about human anger, which usually leads to irrational decisions.

No, you think the translation permits and condones it. As bro Limitless, stated, 'The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark".

Well, "beat" is the word the translator chose to use. Who am I to argue? Maybe it's just this translation that I have a problem with. It's still out there, though, so it can still inform people's actions, so the thrust of my argument is unaffected.

Where are you trying to go with this? It's been explained with evidence that a man may not beat his wife; ie. hit her hard. So, what you're saying has nothing to do with being permissability in Islam.

I'm talking about the real-world consequences that may result from someone reading the verse and thinking it's OK to beat their wife.

Look, what I already know of Islam tells me that its teachings are much more likely to encourage respect for a wife rather than abuse - that much is obvious. But seeing as the Qur'an is a text with divine authority, can you not see how dangerous it is for it to include pronouncements like this? Especially when they require so much repeated clarification?

With all due respect, you cannot understand the mindset of a woman, like the Creator or a woman herself can.

It may shock you to know that, if I, was a rebellious, disobedient and disrespectful wife, a light tap from my husband would leave me highly feeling embarrassed and humiliated, and questioning my actions that lead to him taking that action, whereas a hard beating would lead me to retaliate. If my husband, sulked and skulked, and only admonished m verbally, I'd probably think him to be weak and pathetic. But tapping me, without transgressing his limits and beating the life out of me would show me he has authority and that I would respect. The wisdom behind the rulings may not be clear at first glance, but sometimes you need delve into the psychological perspective to understand. I am telling you, as a woman, this form of discipline would be effective.

Well, I am highly surprised. I'll ask my partner what she thinks.

They probably will, which is not due to any fault in the Qur'an but from ignorance of the person themselves. Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge, is what every muslim is advised to seek. Until that happens, misconceptions will continue to lead to actions which Islam strictly prohibits.

The Qur'an does not exist in a vacuum. It is read by millions and its verses are widely interpreted as a guide to all aspects of life. Given both of those facts, if it causes misconceptions to arise (even among ignorant people), and those misconceptions lead to harm, then surely that is dangerous? Lots of books contain passages that are unclear, but most books do not come wih divine authority that directly informs how people live their lives.

Peace

 

[Rasema]

Athiest,czgibson, you don't like it, too bad.

Goodbye.

 

[GuestFellow]

Well, I am highly surprised. I'll ask my partner what she thinks.

Greetings,

Well asking one person opinion cannot be applied to the general population. Touch or a slap on the wrist can have a significant impact on the individual. In the UK a touch can be considered as Battery under Section 39 Common Assault.

 

[MSalman]

as-salamu alaykum

subhaanAllah; this is what happens when we speak without knowledge: chaos and confusions and more problems

Does Allah not say in the Qur'an that if you do not have knowledge then refer to those who have knowledge?

PS: more on this later, g2g for juma'ah salah

 

[Rasema]

as-salamu alaykum

subhaanAllah; this is what happens when we speak without knowledge: chaos and confusions and more problems

Does Allah not say in the Qur'an that if you do not have knowledge then refer to those who have knowledge?

PS: more on this later, g2g for juma'ah salah

Assalamu Alaikum

I agree, but we all learned though.

 

[Intisar]

Please read my other post.

Beating is different from hiting!

A good Muslim husband would not beat his wife for no reason. If I desearved it than that would remind me to become better. It is necessary sometimes, it depends on how the wife is.

Please, just because you think that something is wrong doesn't mean it is.

'Warfare is ordained for you, though it is hateful unto you; but it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not."

Read the previous posts before judgeing.

Aoothobillahi mina shaydani rajiim. :muddlehea

 

[GreyKode]

I know what you mean but we are talking different

Hey sister you better get your eyes checked cause obviously you are misreading the Qur'an.
You previously said : "Fadribohonna fil madaji3"
IT DOESN'T SAY THAT.

Recheck the verse sister before spreading misinformation.

 

[Uthman]

Please see this thread: http://www.islamicboard.com/clarifications-about-islam/33209-wife-beating.html

The answer is provided clearly by those who have knowledge.

 

[Rasema]

Aoothobillahi mina shaydani rajiim. :muddlehea

Did I say something wrong,please correct me!

 

[zakirs]

"I'm talking about the real-world consequences that may result from someone reading the verse and thinking it's OK to beat their wife.

Look, what I already know of Islam tells me that its teachings are much more likely to encourage respect for a wife rather than abuse - that much is obvious. But seeing as the Qur'an is a text with divine authority, can you not see how dangerous it is for it to include pronouncements like this? Especially when they require so much repeated clarification?

A person can read "love thy neighbor" and can actually interpret it as you can make love to your neighbor.Sorry if i am speaking rudely but thats how it looks like a bad person can always twist a sentence to his will.Allah would make sure they get their slice of punishment.

 

[MSalman]

subhaanAllah, I do not know where to start from

Assalamu Alaikum

I agree, but we all learned though.

wa'alaykee as-salam

sister, may Allah preserve you, what do you mean by we are learned? Are we scholars or students of knowledge? We, the people who lack knowledge (laypeople), are obliged to refer to those who have knowledge. Otherwise, we end up hurting Islam more than helping.

Sister the koran is clear and you can beat your wife only if she refuse the husband in the bed part of that is not allowed to beat or hit the wife but if she does zina then it should be stoned .

sister, may Allah preserve you, with all due respect, you are wrong about the only part in addition to your short coming of explaining the matter of bed refusal. I also remember you said something like "you know Arabic; therefore, you know what Islamic ruling is or what the Qur'an is saying". This is a wrong way to go about; as mentioned before, people like us are obliged, by the Qur'an, to refer to those who have knowledge. So insha'Allah we should be more careful

Refusal to bed is not the only reason for hitting her lightly and it (hitting her lightly) is not the first step a husband is told to do. The Qur'an says, interpretation of the meaning [Surah an-Nisa(4):34]:

As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance).
​

Off course, by ill-conduct it means anything un-Islamic. Yes, it is true that refusal of her husband's call to bed (without any legitimate shari excuse, i.e., sick) is one of the ill-conducts but not the only one. The other one could be that she does not protect his property when he is gone. Also, it is the last thing to do. In case of zina, she would be stoned only if there is a shari court and her crime becomes public. Her husband may keep it secret our of mercy for her and resort to other means which are mentioned in this ayah. Allahu A'lam

@czgibson

There is no point discussing these fiqhi matters with you because you do not even believe in Allah. Since you do not believe in Him, you will never actually understand the shari rulings. And even if you do, it would still not make you believe in Allah. So what is the point? But let me address your two points

But seeing as the Qur'an is a text with divine authority, can you not see how dangerous it is for it to include pronouncements like this? Especially when they require so much repeated clarification?

this is simply your perception. Allah did not end it there, there is a ahadith to explain what we are really suppose to do. So Islam left no room for wrong interpretations and now if some people do it how can you blame Islam for it? Your post shows that you know nothing about basic Islamic science. The Qur'an and sahih ahadith are two sources of Islam and the sahih ahadith are the second revelation from Allah. They go hand in hand when explaining Islam and the rulings are not limited to just one of the two sources

Secondly, just because the source is divine, does not mean that the addressees are also divine. We are limited and everyone thinks differently. Have humans ever agreed upon one thing? They do not even agree upon who there Creator is let alone more issues. It is a fallacy in and of itself, knowing our limitations, to claim that all humans should understand the Qur'an in same way. There is no evidence that even if the Qur'an would have been revealed in simplest of forms we would have agreed upon it. What evidence do you have that if Allah used a different term then we all would have agreed over its meaning and implication? We would have still argued about it. Why: because we are HUMANS!

Lastly, you do not know what is best for us; the Lord knows what is best for us. All you can do is play guessing games with your limited understanding and corrupt perception of reality and what is truth.

It is read by millions and its verses are widely interpreted as a guide to all aspects of life. Given both of those facts, if it causes misconceptions to arise (even among ignorant people), and those misconceptions lead to harm, then surely that is dangerous?

so what if read by millions of people and no clear to them. All of these people are told in the Qur'an that if you do not have knowledge then refer to those who have knowledge. Is it Islam's fault that people do not do that, even though Islam closed the door to distortion and misinterpretation? Please talk about Islam and not the actions of people!

and indeed Allah knows best

 

[Ansariyah]

Aoothobillahi mina shaydani rajiim. :muddlehea

My sentiments when I read through the thread. I can't believe that some people are condoning wife beating n backing it up wit some twisted opinion n trying to pass that off for sunnah. Look into the Life of rasululah (saw) did he ever hit or beat his wives? No! Wat does Allah say in the Quraan?



إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ وَاللّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ


((Say: if you love Allaah then follow me and Allaah will love you and forgive you your sins and Allaah is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful)) (Surah Aal 'Imraan: 31)


U can't pick an ayah & reject the human example (Prophet mohamed (saw)) that Allah sent to mankind. In his life & character we know how he treated his wives.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) also said,

كل أمتي يدخلون الجنة إلا من أبى, قالوا: يا رسول الله و من أبى؟ قال: من أطاعني دخل الجنة و من عصاني فقد أبى

((All of my Ummah will enter heaven except those who refuse (or reject), so they asked him: oh messenger of Allaah, who is the one who refuses? The Prophet said: whoever obeys me will enter heaven and whoever obeys me he has refused.)) (Saheeh al-Bukhaaree, 7280)

Where did this wife beating opinion rise from? It surely did not stem from the character & manners of Rasululah (saw).

 

[Rasema]

Wa ALIKU MUSELAM

Brother,Islamiclife,if you read what i wrote again I said that we all learned not that we all are knowledgeable. And if I say something about Islam I've read it by a scholar.

I always make my statements into questions. If I don't It was just my opinion so that others correct it.This is the way I learn.

Thanks sis, Yanoorah.