:bism:
Sweetie, I wonder if I'm honestly the best person to give you advice, because although I do wear the
hijab, lately, I've been struggling with the
hijab. The truth is no one can decide this for you, because although this is a beautiful command of
hijab, the command, like any other command, takes courage and strength to follow. Only you know how ready you are, and no one can honestly decide this for you; only you yourself can decide if this is the right time for you to wear
hijab.
What I will tell you is that initially when I stared wearing the
hijab, I felt happy because I was following this beautiful command of Allah. For me, this act of wearing
hijab was observing "I love you" to Allah because this was a
jihad (struggle) for me against my own vanity and my egoistic desires. So, yes,
hijab is beautiful, but
hijab is comparable to a "rose" and like with any rose there are "thorns" too.
So, I'll now mention the flip side, the "thorns" if you will. I noticed a big difference in how I behaved because this is not a clothing like any other. I was conscious this is a beautiful command of Allah and I'm now, whether I want or not, a representative of Islam to whomever I happen to interact. What that meant is that it forced me to slow myself down further, to beautify my manners and character further. I started making
duas that if I make a mistake that people not be driven away from Islam as a result of my own mistakes and faults, because I was scared I might inadvertently do/say something that might give people the wrong impression of Islam. So, I think that's a good side, but honestly, not easy.
Though later, I did get less conscious so that I didn't even notice the
hijab, the fact that Muslims and Islam is so much in the media, I have to tell you that I'm struggling so much now because I know that Muslims and Islam have a bad reputation in the media and among common Americans. I have not had any bad incident happen to me
Alhamdhullilah (thanks, praise, and credit to God), and yet I am aware that there are other Muslim women who have not been as fortunate. Also, my father accepted the
hijab, and yet my mom never has; she has resigned herself to me wearing
hijab, and I only draw support from Allah
SubhanAllahwaTaala (Glorious and Exalted is God) to wear
hijab.
I'll also let you in on on the secret that finally gave me the strength to wearing the
hijab. This
hadith (prophetic saying/tradition): "Whoever sought the pleasure of Allah though it was displeasing to the people then Allah becomes pleased with him, and will make the people please with him, and whoever sought the pleasure of the people though it was displeasing to Allah then Allah becomes displeased with him and will make the people displeased with him" (Ibn Hibban/ Tirmidhi.) This
hadith finally gave me the strength when I'd been praying one
Shahru Ramadan once to give me that strength to wear
hijab.
Also, another incident convinced me to wear the
hijab is when I'd been on a bus, this lady had been speaking badly about Islam and Muslims. I had been feeling bad inside of myself because I didn't know how to respond, and since I didn't wear the
hijab, I realized I hadn't been identified as a Muslim. I think she'd liked me as a person and yet I'd wondered what her reaction would have been if I'd been wearing the
hijab, and then I realized that I wanted to wear the
hijab because I didn't want to hide my identity as if I am ashamed because my fault (if this can be called a fault) is only in loving Islam and Prophet Muhammad :saws:
(peace and blessings be upon him). I think the woman later recognized that I was a Muslim, but that incident cast an indelible impression on my mind, and I knew that I wanted to take a stand somehow.
My mom had threatened, from what I remember, that she'd stop talking to me if I ever wore the
hijab. I am actually very close to my mom; so, I was seriously afraid of my mom's reaction the first time I'd officially worn the
hijab (though I'd started practicing with hoodies before doing so). So, I was fully prepared for my mom to be angry and refuse to talk to me, but instead,
lol, she simply made a face. I was surprised, because honestly, I thought I'd have more of a reaction.
That said, my mom has calmed down since the beginning when I'd first expressed this desire, though sometimes she does cajole me against wearing the
hijab, and I've learned to crack a joke or change the subject. I've also learned to be assertive about my
hijab and had a conversation (for which I prayed to God would go well before I'd had the conversation) with her about why wearing the
hijab is important to me, and I think she understands even if she still dislikes generally
hijab. Sometimes, she still warns me about the consequences of wearing
hijab, like not being able to get a job or someone not marrying me, and I understand all her concerns. I respect that she's coming from a place of love and concern; so, I try to address her concerns in a calm and reasoned manner.
Honestly, I think your parents will be against you wearing the
hijab too in the beginning; and that's understandable for more than one reason, especially as you live in the U.S. So, if you decide to do this, you'll have to be sure to give them extra love and assurances that you're making an informed decision, that you still love them, because your parents will fear that you're changing in some kind of alien direction, and they won't know the
you you're coming. So, you'll have to show them that you're still the you that they love even and that wearing
hijab is simply a natural progression of your love and obedience to God.
All that said, please do not feel pressured to wear the
hijab; nobody can tell you what the right time to wear
hijab is. Ask Allah SWT to guide you in this matter and also for your parents to support you in wearing the
hijab and trust that Allah SWT loves you and trust Allah SWT to give you what you need to make this decision. Also, if you feel okay about this, I can talk to your parents on SKYPE and I can discuss with them anything and happily answer any concerns they might have; I want to say, most of all, though that
I support you in any decision you make on this matter, and this decision should ultimately be simply between you and Allah and out of whatever sentiments you feel sincerely in your heart. So, the ball's in your court, sweetie.
:wa:
Salaam Aleikum everyone!
I know this is my third post in three days, but I have so many questions about navigating the world as a new Muslim, so please bear with me. I'm having a problem because I really, really want to wear hijab. I think that it will enhance my faith and give me a closer connection with Allah SWT. But the problem is my parents. It isn't that they won't let me per say, but they're kind of guilt tripping me into not wearing it by using silence and or mentioning me grades (which are A's and B's in high level classes), or talking about how I'm "going against my family's values." I also don't know if it's too soon to put the hijab on. I've only been looking into Islam for 5 months (and officially converted 2 days ago), so part of me thinks that I should wait, especially because I'm so young. It feels like anything I do is wrong. Not putting on the hijab makes me feel like I'm hiding my faith, and I have to cover up who I am. But thinking of putting on the hijab, I get close to tears when thinking of how my family will respond. I just don't know what to do, and I feel so stuck. Any advice on what I should do hijab-wise?
