Hi , well I'm kind of new to all of this really . Sorry if this posts in the wrong place :embarrass .Im currently reading the quran and its really effected me . I was never really a religious women , but i really like what the holy book has to show me .
I want to convert but i feel as if i've done bad wrong things .
eg . having relations with a man .
would i be forgiven even though i really feel what i did was wrong ..
thanks for taking your time to read .
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, My sister firstly let me say that any sins you have done before reverting to Islam are all forgiven so you are in effect like a new born baby as you would be completley sinless.
Feelings of remorse and guilt are natural reflections of sinning, if the person who has sinned has a conscious which is alive.
After committing a sin, a person who fears Allah and give high respect to Him would feel a sense of despondency and despair thinking, "How will God forgive me for this sin?" However, it is noteworthy that despairing of God's mercy is in itself one of the major sins in Islam for God is ever merciful, ever forgiving.
As He says in the Qur'an:
"Do not despair of God's mercy; He will forgive you of all your sins". Qur'an (39:53).
In another verse, Allah says:
"And He wishes to forgive you" Qur'an (4:146).
Allah's mercy, compassion and forgiveness are all encompassing and his mercy is one of his most important and significant qualities of the almighty in the Qur’an, as well as in the saying and teachings of Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh).
In a Hadith Qudsi Allah states: "My mercy prevails over My wrath."
Islam fully understands the temptations that come in the way of everyone of us, and that which some of us might go for. Only through repentance, that one can wipeout those sins and past misdeeds and gradually get freed from the clutches of the ego.
Repentance is the most noble and beloved form of obedience in the eyes of Allah the All Mighty. He loves those who repent. Repentance has a status that no other form of worship has. This is why Allah is extremely happy when a servant repents just as a traveller is happy when he finds his lost mount in the desert.
Feeling Allah's satisfaction has its great impact on the heart of the one repenting. Hence, the repenting person reaches the status of being amongst the beloved through his repentance.
Moreover, repentance brings about humbleness and a sense of helplessness to the only Creator; Allah, and that is not easily acquired through other forms of worship.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Except those who repent, have faith and good deeds, those Allah will charge their sins for good deeds. Certainly Allah is most forgiving and merciful." (Qur'an 25:70)
This is a greatest glad tiding for those who repent and combine their repentance with deep faith and good deeds.
Repentance breeds good deeds, whilst sinning (without repentance) can cause deprivation of obedience altogether. It has been said that committing sins regularly will darken and harden the heart and make purifying it once again a difficult mission.
It may even lead a person to reject Allah completely (Allah forbid) or lead him to commit a bigger sin. There is no recourse for a sinner except to ask Allah for forgiveness and to feel great regret for his actions.
Repentance is to repent from the heart, to train the heart into obedi ence and to make a firm resolution never to commit the sin again.
The Benefits Of Sincere Repentance
Imaam Ibn Qayyim rahmatullahi alaihe mentions certain benefits:
1. Repentance is the most noble and beloved form of obedience in the eyes of Allah Ta'ala. He loves those who repent and it is because of His love for His creation that He tests them with sins so that He may shower His blessings and favours upon them after they repent.
2. Repentance has a status that no other form of worship has. This is why Allah is extremely happy when a servant repents just as a traveller is happy when he finds his lost mount in the desert.
This pleasure (of Allah) has a great impact on the heart of the one repenting. Hence, the repenting person reaches the status of being amongst the beloved through his repentance.
3. Repentance brings about humbleness and a sense of helplessness that is not easily acquired through other forms of worship.
4. Allah’s statement,
"Except those who repent, have faith and good deeds, those Allah will charge their sins for good deeds. Certainly Allah is most forgiving and merciful."
(Qur'aan 25:70)
This is a greatest glad tiding for those who repent and combine their repentance with faith and good deeds.
Repentance breeds good deeds, whilst sinning (without repentance) can cause deprivation of obedience altogether. It has been said that committing sins regularly will darken and harden the heart. It may even lead a person to reject Allah completely (Allah forbid) or lead him to commit a bigger sin. There is no recourse for a sinner except to ask Allah for forgiveness and to feel great regret for his actions.
Repentance is to repent from the heart, to train the heart into obedience and to make a firm resolution never to commit the sin again.
The repenting person should remember three facts:
1. The grave consequence of sins.
2. The painful punishment for sins and
3. The helplessness of the servant with regards to these two things.
What Should I Do After I Have Sinned?
Someone may ask,
"How do I go about repenting from a sin?" Do I just say,
"I repent." and that’s it, or is there anything to be done after that?
Two things should immediately be done. The first is an act of the heart, to sincerely regret the sins of the past. The second is an act of the body, to bring up some good deeds, starting two cycles of prayer of repentance. The following is a hadith in support:
Hazrat Abu Bakr radiyallahu anhu, says, "I heard the Holy Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam say, ‘There isn’t a man who, when he commits a sin, rises, makes ablution, and offers two rak’ats of prayers, but Allah forgives his sins.’ Then the Holy Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam recited the verse, ‘Those (are the true believers) who, when they commit an evil deed, or wrong their souls, remember Allah, and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who but Allah forgives sins? They do not insist upon the sins they have committed, and they know (that Allah is forgiving)."
(Qur'aan 3:135)
There are other reports that describe more in detail how these two cycles of prayers of repentance must be offered.
For instance:
1. There isn’t a man who makes ablution (and does it well, but sins fall off the limbs of the body with the last drop of water. And doing the ablution well includes saying the Bismillah in the beginning, and some other prayer words after it such as:
"I bear witness that there is no deity save Allah , the one, and I also bear witness that Muhammad is his slave and messenger."
"O’ Allah! make me of the repenting, and make me of the purified."
"O’ Allah! with praises to you I bear witness that there is no deity but you. I seek your forgiveness and turn to you in repentance."
2. Offer two rak’ats of prayer. Performs them in full presence of mind and heart. Commits no mistake within the prayers. Does not speak to himself within them. Recites the prayer-words in them well and in humility. Then seeks Allah’s forgiveness.
The Result
1. His past sins are forgiven.
2. He is assured paradise.
Then, as these things have been achieved he should now increase his good deeds to the extent possible. Don’t you see what Umar radiyallahu anhu did when he had committed the mistake of arguing with the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam, at Hudaibiyya. He used to offer special acts of worship, (like fasting, almsgiving, etc.), to atone for that sin. The following hadith should also be considered.
"He who commits some evil deeds, and then turns to doing good deeds is like the man who had on him a tight-fitting coat of mail made of steel, so tight, it would almost choke him. Then he did a good deed and it opened up a little more until it became so loose as to fall off to the ground."
So you see how good deeds release a man from the clutches of past sins and liberate him from the tension that they cause. Let me at this point offer you the abridged version of an incident, which is laden with lessons.
Ibn Mas’ood radiyallahu anhu says a man came to the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam and said,
"O Apostle of Allah. I found a woman in a garden and did everything to her except having intercourse: I kissed her and hugged her and so on, but I didn’t go beyond this. So judge me as you wish." The Prophet of Allah sallallahu alaihe wasallam said nothing in reply and the man went away. Upon this Umar radiyallahu anhu remarked, "Allah would have kept it a secret if he had kept it a secret." The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam in the direction the man had gone and said,
"Call him back." When they called him back, he recited to him the following verse,
"Establish Prayers at the two ends of the day and early part of the night. Indeed good deeds wipe out evil ones. And this (Qur’aan) is a reminder unto the mindful."
(Qur'aan 11:114)
Upon hearing this, Mu’adh radiyallahu anhu (and according to another report Umar radiyallahu anhu) said,
"O’ Apostle of Allah sallallahu alaihe wasallam, is this for him alone or is it (this ruling) common?" he replied: "No, it is common."
Committing A Sin Against Another
In case a sin related to Allah, which does not involve anyone else, is committed there are three conditions for the repentance of the sinner to be accepted:
1. That he refrain from committing the same sin again.
2. That he feel ashamed at what he has done.
3. That he makes a firm intention of not committing that sin again.
Repentance of a person will be imperfect even if a single condition is omitted.
Now, in case a sin which is connected to a person is committed the theologians have added one more condition to the three stated above. That is if one has taken something that does not belong to him he should return it, if he has committed backbiting regarding someone or he has hurt someone’s feelings or even sworn at someone he will have to ask for forgiveness from the person first and then from Allah. There is no way these sins can be forgiven without the forgiveness of the person concerned, because these are the rights of human beings. May Allah Ta’ala safeguard us, Aameen.
If you have any questions about anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask.
This is how I have felt and I hope it helps you.