I know people do not like it when I come for advice but I do not know who else to ask...my family cannot give me islamic advice.
I started hating muslims. I used to love them and think everyone who was muslim was good but because in the mosque I have had bad experiences, I now hate the mosque and muslims. Does this make me a hypocrite?
I also been getting depressive alot. Episodes where I cannot move and am crippled. I cannot fast and feel like far away from Allah and he does not care that I am alive or suffering. Why do I feel like he hates me? I have done charity here and there but it does not feel good and rather I feel like it was rejected. The first act I did, was not thanked properly and rather the people still look down on me. I feel like it was rejected. Another charity I did, but I feel it was not accepted either because it was easy to do and in my convenience. What am I doing wrong?
Because I was so upset and depressed, I started complaining to my mother about the people of the mosque to my mother. Those people take me granted and in confidence I told the imam of wish to get married. He now took this as a joke and in front of everyone including strangers humiliates me. He takes me as a babysitter for his kids, who do not even respect me but make fun of me. The other day after months, to be a good muslim, I called him and asked how he was doing. He reception was luke warm and not that warm or friendly. I used to respect him so much but I was only hurt. I did so much for him and the community, only for them to humiliate and make fun of me. I now feel that since I complained, all my deeds are gone because I spoke how angry I was at the imam. Are my deeds fruitless now because I got angry?
Also last thing, is that I have no more hope in Allah. Everytime I make dua, I feel like it will not come true. I feel like it gets rejected anyway. I just feel worthless. Because I forgiven everyone, I still feel resentment and pain from their actions. I make dua FOR them not against them but I feel like Allah did not accept it. Does this mean I did not forgive them?
Please give me good advice without judging. Understand I do not like anymore to ask it since people get annoyed
Assalamu Alaikum,
My brother firstly you should not assume that we do not like to give advice or hear about other Muslims problems. We all have problems, some more than others but know that is Deen is about giving humble Naseeha (advice) and being there for one another in hard and difficult times and in being a comfort to one another as the believers should be towards one another.
The Prophet (Sallalahu alaihi Wasallam) said: “Whoever relieves a believer’s distress of the distressful aspects of this world, Allah will rescue him from a difficulty of the difficulties of the Hereafter. Whoever alleviates [the situation of] one in dire straits who cannot repay his debt, Allah will alleviate his lot in both this world and in the Hereafter. Whoever conceals [the faults of] a Muslim, Allah will conceal [his faults] in this life and the Hereafter." (Muslim)
Regarding your first question then there is nothing wrong with disliking other people's bad characteristics. But know that Muslims are human beings and humans have good in them and bad. This is the same anywhere whether it is at School, College, University or at work. However that does not in anyway justify some people's bad characteristics in the Masjid as it is the house of Allah and people therein should be far better behaved than in most other places. However I or anyone else cannot judge between you and them as we have not observed both of your behaviours in order to take sides or to say who was right or wrong but what we can say is that firstly you should approach those whom you feel are not acting in a just manner towards you and open up about how you feel hurt and upset by their actions. They will no doubt realise their mistakes and apologise to you.
Some people do tend to take liberties with others at times and get carried away but you should make them realise that you find their treatment of you unjust. You should also forgive them. You should never hate anyone especially a believer. Hate is a strong emotion. It leads to enmity and Allah forbade us to have enmity between one another particularly the believers. If they still persist after that then you should just keep away from them and do your prayers, give Salaam to the people and talk to those whom you have no issues or problems with. Also make Dua that Allah straitens their characters.
With your issues with depression and feeling crippled then is this related to a mental health condition that has been diagnosed? Or a Jinn related issue with which you have seen a Raqi? If not you should approach the relevant avenue's to look into the underlying issues as to why you are feeling this way as is it not normal.
Regarding giving charity or fundraising etc then my brother we must always have in our minds that every act we do particularly if it is an open good deed then we are only doing so to please Allah which means we expect no thanks or appreciation from anyone else:
Allah says:
"Saying): We feed you, for the sake of Allah only. We wish for no reward nor thanks from you;" (Quran76;9)
This is also part of a test of whether or not we are sincere in our good actions. So we must correct our intentions and align our sincerity to that of solely seeking Allah's pleasure and appreciation. For we seek reward a d pleasure only from him not from the people. Whether they thank us or not it matters not as we expect no reward from them. So please try to change your perspective on this.
Also we should not lose hope that none of our deeds will be accepted. Do we have divine insight that this is true? Or do we guess about Allah's decision on these matters? Surely we should leave the acceptance of our deeds to Allah and have hope that he will accept it from us. We can ask of him in our Dua's that he accept our deeds and forgive us for any discrepancies therein.
We all get angry and upset at times so just ask them to forgive you and repent but it maybe that you are taking things to heart when they may have just meant to jest with you. Shaythan's aim is to create discird, hatred and enmity in the hearts of the believers towards one another and he does this by making us assume that the other person is ridiculing us or making fun of us or not taking us seriously etc. Again you should open up to the relevant people of how you feel hurt and upset by their treatment towards you and you will find that they will get shocked as they never meant to make you feel in such a way.
My brother a Muslim must never lose hope in the mercy of Allah nor should he think that is Dua has not been accepted. These thoughts are Instigated by none other that our sworn enemy shaythan who wants to make us lose hope in the mercy of Allah and he wants us to falsely thi k that no e if our deeds or Duai are going to be accepted so what is the point of doing good deeds or making Dua? Can you not see his deception? That he is trying to push us away from Allah whereas Allah wants to bring us closer to him.
Sufyan ibn 'Uyaynah (Ra) said "Let none of you think that his Du'aa will go unanswered because of the sins that he knows of himself.
Indeed, Allah responded to the Du'aa of the worst amongst His creation; Iblees (Shaitan, the cursed one), when he said; 'O My Lord! Give me respite until the Day of Judgement!' He (Allah SWT) replied, 'Then you are of those who have been reprieved.' (Surah al-Hijr 36-37).
So my brother never give into the tricks of shaythan. He is trying to make you hate going to the Masjid as it is the house of Allah and the favourite places of Allah than anywhere else on the Earth. He is trying to put enmity in your heart against those who attend the Masjid so you totally disconnect from the house if Allah and start feeling hate for the believers. He is trying to make you lose hope in gaining firvii and in any of your deeds and Dua's being accepted so that you stop bothering altogether and then you go into the wrong oath when Allah wants you on the right path. Can you not see his tricks and his evil deceptive ways?
So my brother repel his evil by doing the exact opposite. Sort your issues out with your brother's, remain connected to the Masjid more than ever before, never think that Allah won't forgive when his mercy is so vast that it overcomes his anger, never lose hope in him accepting your deeds or your Dua's because Allah knows best what is best for us in accordance with our Dua's. If he doesn't accept it in the way we except then he can accept it in ways we can never imagine by opening other doors for us or testing how patient we will be. Or will we be those who loses patience and so loses hope altogether.
