Yea I understand and I'm sorry that people say mean things to you. Sometimes a person says something so many times and you start to believe it. But you know what? It's not true. You're alive for a reason, even if you don't see it now. If Allah wanted you to die, your soul would have already returned to Him. Don't isolate yourself, challenge everyone and go and do wonderful things with your life. It's YOUR life. Don't ever give anyone the power to make you feel miserable. No one can restrict you from anything. Since you know what it feels like to be so down, I bet you can help a lot of people. You just have to overcome the feeling that you're cursed. You are blessed in so many ways. Focus on your blessings bro and take it one day at a time. Before you know it, all of this wouldn't have mattered and you're going to feel silly for feeling so down.
I promise bro I try but if I just cant bear it anymore there is a possibility of Allah forgiving suicide right ? I just want to be safe