Would you marry someone who has kids?

[Raudha]

oh: You were a kid once upon a time too you know :?

Wait......perhaps I'm over-reacting....You're being sarcastic right

AllahummaHfathnaa. Ameen

 

['Abd Al-Maajid]

oh: You were a kid once upon a time too you know :?

Wait......perhaps I'm over-reacting....You're being sarcastic right

AllahummaHfathnaa. Ameen

I'm not being sarcastic. And I think I was not as annoying as my cousin is (1.5 yrs), she cries all the time yelling 'mama' and 'daddy' when they appoint me to babysit her. What does she think, she's with some strangers? I try to console her but all in vain.

 

[Raudha]

^I think you have to be more patient and tolerant when it comes to children. You should change your attitude towards them and see them as Allah's creation. Perhaps watching them develop into adults as they achieve their different milestones will make that a bit easier.

All the best brother eace:

 

[Salahudeen]

I wouldn't mind marrying a women with kids but I think what would prevent me is I wouldn't know how to be a good father to the kids like how to take care of them and whats expected of me cos I don't have experience as a father.

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

I'm not being sarcastic. And I think I was not as annoying as my cousin is (1.5 yrs), she cries all the time yelling 'mama' and 'daddy' when they appoint me to babysit her. What does she think, she's with some strangers? I try to console her but all in vain.

They are actually quite fun brother. Dont forget your cousin is just ONE child, they are not all like that. I think their lovely seriously. When its your own child its different. For one it wouldnt be crying mum or dad cos you would be the dad. It actually would laugh at you and wanna play with you, bond with daddy. The babysitter is always scary to babies cos they do not recognize your scent so they know your a "stranger". And you should wait until the child gets to an age where it learns to talk. Very funny period haha. They see stuff differently than us so they tend to say funny and embarresing stuff.
Kids are fun!

Salaam

 

[syilla]

I used to have someone interested in marrying me...and he has kids. But at that time i don't mind. However, i was still studying at that time so my mother said no lol....

Now i still think i don't mind. Might be i'm actually a bit naive. Well i guess being is naive is better than knowing the truth huhuhu

 

[MartyrX]

I'm not being sarcastic. And I think I was not as annoying as my cousin is (1.5 yrs), she cries all the time yelling 'mama' and 'daddy' when they appoint me to babysit her. What does she think, she's with some strangers? I try to console her but all in vain.

We all like to look back at our own childhood and think we were so much better behaving. Talking with my mother now I can see where I was really bad about getting on her nerves. I wasn't horrible, but just energetic.

At one and half that is a very difficult age for anyone taking care of a child especially one that is not your own. That child is not used to you unless they spend every day with you. That and for some children they can be very shy around that age. So it takes some time to get used to new people.

 

[abu salaahudeen]

i wouldn't miind at all

however it would be a bit difficult if she has a daughter from previous marriage because the ruling in this is different but its not something that would put me off

there would have to be minimum contact from the ex husband

someone who is ok with it shows the level of maturity and responsible

 

[Ali_uk]

I vote no....but thinking about it, I think no but if allah wills me to be with a woman who already has children then so be it.

 

[Somaiyah]

Assalamu alaykum,

Well I wouldn't mind if I was really sure I wanted this man lol. And if he didn't have problems with the childrens' mother such as violence or hate or other problems that might be a problem for me too when becoming a bonus mother for the kids. If he had kids that were adults and didn't live with him, no problem. If he had kids that still lived with him I would take care of them. But Allahu alem. So I voted that I'm not really sure, because it depends on the circumstances.

 

[Cabdullahi]

i love kids so much and wherever i go i play with them to a point the adults say to me behave now!! you're a big man

 

[glo]

My mother remarried 6 years after the death of my father. It was very hard for us three children to come to terms with a 'new dad', and it caused much tension and resentment at the time.

Bringing a new stepfather/stepmother into an existing family has a huge impact on the dynamics within the family, and needs to be done very carefully, considering the feelings of all involved!

I would only marry somebody with children if his children liked me and my children liked him.

 

[Grofica]

uhmmmm i wouldnt... i have kids from before and my hubby wants to have kids and i dont know if i want to go through all that again.

 

[abu salaahudeen]

it is praised by the Messenger to have as many children within your capability

 

[cat eyes]

i would marry a man with kids i also would not mind 2enter in2 a polygamy marriage :X it over all dependz how religious he is to and he would have 2 b healthy, not to old and he'd have 2 b a bit attractive but if he didnt av all these thngz id say no. Some men who av already kidz, they are a litle on da fat side and a bit unhealthy and i mean health is so important if he wantz 2 av kidz with me! He cnt be old lol.

 

[Clover]

I doubt I'll live to be married, but if I do, I wouldn't care. If she honestly cares about me, I don't care about anything of her, except that.

 

[★ηαѕιнα★]

i would marry a man with kids i also would not mind 2enter in2 a polygamy marriage :X it over all dependz how religious he is to and he would have 2 b healthy, not to old and he'd have 2 b a bit attractive but if he didnt av all these thngz id say no. Some men who av already kidz, they are a litle on da fat side and a bit unhealthy and i mean health is so important if he wantz 2 av kidz with me! He cnt be old lol.

Haha your funny "on the fat side"! LOL
I wouldnt mind a little belly, think thats kinda cute haha.
Dunno about polygamy marriage though..you definitely have to be strong for that..would you wanna live in the same house with the other woman??

Salaam

 

[Asiyah3]

My mother remarried 6 years after the death of my father. It was very hard for us three children to come to terms with a 'new dad', and it caused much tension and resentment at the time.

Bringing a new stepfather/stepmother into an existing family has a huge impact on the dynamics within the family, and needs to be done very carefully, considering the feelings of all involved!

I would only marry somebody with children if his children liked me and my children liked him.

Peace,

Glo may I ask, does it matter to you whether the man you marry is religious?

 

[cat eyes]

Haha your funny "on the fat side"! LOL
I wouldnt mind a little belly, think thats kinda cute haha.
Dunno about polygamy marriage though..you definitely have to be strong for that..would you wanna live in the same house with the other woman??

Salaam

yeah your right it is tough and i am the kinda girl who gets jealous easily and likes attention if the attention stops then all hell breaks lose i would definitely be a big cranky trial for him as for living in the same house i don't know i think if hes wealthy id want my own place nothing to fancy if hes not wealthy then i suppose i don't mind to live with the other wife.

 

[sabr*]

سم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Bismillā hir Rahmā nir Rahīm
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful​

اشْهَدُ انْ لّآ اِلهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ وَ اَشْهَدُ اَنَّ مُحَمَّدً اعَبْدُه وَ رسوله

Ašh hadu al-lā ilāha illā-llāhu, wa ašh hadu anna Muhammadun ‘abduhu wa rasūluhu
I bear witness that none is worthy of worship but Allah, the One alone, without partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger


As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ukhi cat eyes:

Sukhranallah for your honesty. I am surprised if you didn't receive intendees from your post.

It is very easy for people to be judgmental when they are not subject to a face to face response. Or the candor because a person is anonymous and not subject to criticism.

Nurturing and raising children is no easy task especially in a country dominated by Non-Muslims. When traveling abroad I have witnessed first hand the trials.

Now add that the children are extended. The you are not my father or mother statements are heart wrenching. It would take a unbelievable Muslimah (Strong women in Din and Beauty) Family Status to me is culturally based because a person can come from the best families and be the worst in personality,etc. I can support a large family independently so a Muslimah wealth is not important)

The PC (Political Correct in a forum) statements to make is that you would marry a person for their DIN and concentrating on their appearance is shallow. Marrying for beauty is permitted but marrying for the DIN is the best reason.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

Just reflecting on the Muslimah that the Imam has asked to consider for marriage have all been very voluptuous , young children, and exiting a abusive situation. Just always wondered why certain brothers of different ethnic groups who are apart of the ethnic immigrant Islamic communities are rarely asked to consider the numerous educated Muslimah attending the Universities or the daughters of the pillars of the communities.

And I am referring to the Muslim brothers who are professionals, self-employed (me) and members of the Islamic Community.

I am so eager to read the opinions why that is the case.

Surah Hujurat 49:13

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).
(Y. Ali translation)