Would you marry someone you meet online?

[sabr*]

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Bismillā hir Rahmā nir Rahīm
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful​

اشْهَدُ انْ لّآ اِلهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ وَ اَشْهَدُ اَنَّ مُحَمَّدً اعَبْدُه وَ رسوله

Ašh hadu al-lā ilāha illā-llāhu, wa ašh hadu anna Muhammadun ‘abduhu wa rasūluhu
I bear witness that none is worthy of worship but Allah, the One alone, without partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger


As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

I posted a thread The Muslim Marriage Process in Family & Society Building a family, the Islamic home, honouring parents, etc.
A very good read. Mashallah (As Allah has willed)

 

[cat eyes]

sure why not but id have to meet him a few times with a mahram present to get to know him proper and to make sure hes not faking anything about himself

 

[cat eyes]

for example if he tells you his shoe size is a 9 and you go to meet him you find out he takes a size 13 :giggling: theres so many things that guys would lie about

 

[cat eyes]

exactly but maybe he will believe i wont notice til after marriage ;D

 

[hanif_]

for example if he tells you his shoe size is a 9 and you go to meet him you find out he takes a size 13 :giggling: there's so many things that guys would lie about

Ukh cat_eyes:

A shoe size being smaller is not what a man would lie about (I know it was only an example). Lying isn't designated to either men or women.

That is the reason Islam establishes parameters and etiquette on the interaction between men and women.

Even on the internet the undercurrent of the subliminal messages, smiley faces, similitude's, etc could lead to misinterpretation.

Never mind other Muslims thoughts think of Allah assigning the angels to record our every action.

Surah Infitar 82:10-14
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:10 (Y. Ali) But verily over you (are appointed angels) to protect you,-
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:11 (Y. Ali) Kind and honourable,- Writing down (your deeds):
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:12 (Y. Ali) They know (and understand) all that ye do.
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:13 (Y. Ali) As for the Righteous, they will be in bliss;
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:14 (Y. Ali) And the Wicked - they will be in the Fire,
[/FONT]

 

[-Elle-]

But you know the person has good character,because you spoke to them ,to figure out they have good character.There must be some form of communication involved.

Not necessarily. Look at this board; I've noticed many people who have good characters by what they write. If you come across a blog page or something they you should let their intentions known from the first time they initiate contact with the other person. If the person who has been contacted it looking to get married, he/she will know the other person's intentions from the get-go and won't be be like 'why is this person contacting me...:skeleton:'.

Maybe someone would feel weird if they got a message like that from a total stranger. Idk. depends on the person. If someone compatible showed interest and was genuinely interested in getting for marriage purposes, why not, as long as the proper measures are taken from then on (family, mahram, etc..)

I still find it risky and unconventional, but Allahu 3alam!

 

[Cabdullahi]

What is the difference between using the mosque database and the internet

you can get a person who's not genuine on the mosque database....that's why i say the tool of finding marriage which ever tool it maybe is not the problem.

its only risky if you don't examine the person showing interest properly and this is the same for any tool used.

i hope im making sense

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Not necessarily. Look at this board; I've noticed many people who have good characters by what they write. If you come across a blog page or something they you should let their intentions known from the first time they initiate contact with the other person. If the person who has been contacted it looking to get married, he/she will know the other person's intentions from the get-go and won't be be like 'why is this person contacting me...:skeleton:'.

Maybe someone would feel weird if they got a message like that from a total stranger. Idk. depends on the person. If someone compatible showed interest and was genuinely interested in getting for marriage purposes, why not, as long as the proper measures are taken from then on (family, mahram, etc..)

I still find it risky and unconventional, but Allahu 3alam!

I agreee sis Truee. Jazkallah :statisfie...just a bit curious.. i mean some people have met online and gotten Married at the end.. but as i said must have some form of communication involved.to get to know the person in some way and became to have interest in the invidividual Insha`Allaah Allahu alam..

However, if the person doesnt know you, and your interested in them as you said.. It would be weird posting a message to them and they may think your a weirdo lol or something..also in real life.. you would have to have seen that person before and interested in them for some good reason..

What i mean to say is.. We are commanded by Allah t`ala to lower our gazes..so how are we to meet someone for marriage, they must have been around us in some way etcc.? I hope you understand what i am trying to say lol i can be a bit "NOT so clear" at somet times Khayr Insha`Allaah...
Allah knows best..

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

What is the difference between using the mosque database and the internet

you can get a person who's not genuine on the mosque database....that's why i say the tool of finding marriage which ever tool it maybe is not the problem.

its only risky if you don't examine the person showing interest properly and this is the same for any tool used.

i hope im making sense

Yes bro you make sense ...i doubt i make sense

 

[Blackpool]

You say that you're not allowed to interact with the opposite sex but you're doing it on this very forum :/ It's all confusing.

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Aslaamu`alaaykum
Brother or sister Blackpool i was just assuring the brother that he makes sense. i wasnt trying to flirt or anything with the brother. Subhana`Allaah


To judge someone quick is also wrong, it may be confusing rather you are just quick to judge. Forgive me if it looked like i was doing or saying anything wrong.. Insha`Allaah if i have angered anyone forgive me for the sake of Allaah..

Wa`alaaykum Salaam

 

[Cabdullahi]

You say that you're not allowed to interact with the opposite sex but you're doing it on this very forum :/ It's all confusing.

What sort of interaction are you talking about if one inquires about something which is what the sister did we have to give an answer to her.

The forbidden interactions are the things that are not to do with the above example but unfortunately we fall into the trap of just conversing about any hype.

allah u allem

 

[Ansariyah]

No, I prefer the real world.

 

[cat eyes]

Ukh cat_eyes:

A shoe size being smaller is not what a man would lie about (I know it was only an example). Lying isn't designated to either men or women.

That is the reason Islam establishes parameters and etiquette on the interaction between men and women.

Even on the internet the undercurrent of the subliminal messages, smiley faces, similitude's, etc could lead to misinterpretation.

Never mind other Muslims thoughts think of Allah assigning the angels to record our every action.

Surah Infitar 82:10-14
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:10 (Y. Ali) But verily over you (are appointed angels) to protect you,-
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:11 (Y. Ali) Kind and honourable,- Writing down (your deeds):
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:12 (Y. Ali) They know (and understand) all that ye do.
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:13 (Y. Ali) As for the Righteous, they will be in bliss;
[FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana,Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana,Arial]82:14 (Y. Ali) And the Wicked - they will be in the Fire,
[/FONT]

jazakAllah for that insightful post brother

 

[Blackpool]

Aslaamu`alaaykum
Brother or sister Blackpool i was just assuring the brother that he makes sense. i wasnt trying to flirt or anything with the brother. Subhana`Allaah


To judge someone quick is also wrong, it may be confusing rather you are just quick to judge. Forgive me if it looked like i was doing or saying anything wrong.. Insha`Allaah if i have angered anyone forgive me for the sake of Allaah..

Wa`alaaykum Salaam

No no no, I wasn't referring to you or anyone specifically. I was referring to muslims in general. Muslims are barred from interacting with the opposite sex but in these forums muslim girls are interacting with muslim guys and vice versa. Why is a forum so different? This is a genuine question and isn't a pop at anybody at all. Heck, I didn't even read your posts before I posted mine.

 

[-Elle-]

I agreee sis Truee. Jazkallah :statisfie...just a bit curious.. i mean some people have met online and gotten Married at the end.. but as i said must have some form of communication involved.to get to know the person in some way and became to have interest in the invidividual Insha`Allaah Allahu alam..

However, if the person doesnt know you, and your interested in them as you said.. It would be weird posting a message to them and they may think your a weirdo lol or something..also in real life.. you would have to have seen that person before and interested in them for some good reason..

What i mean to say is.. We are commanded by Allah t`ala to lower our gazes..so how are we to meet someone for marriage, they must have been around us in some way etcc.? I hope you understand what i am trying to say lol i can be a bit "NOT so clear" at somet times Khayr Insha`Allaah...
Allah knows best..

Lol I understand what you mean...anyway, in the end it's all naseeb, whether you meet him/her online in person by family by friends in uni etc etc...
:wa:

 

[hanif_]

Muslims are barred from interacting with the opposite sex but in these forums muslim girls are interacting with muslim guys and vice versa. Why is a forum so different? This is a genuine question and isn't a pop at anybody at all. Heck, I didn't even read your posts before I posted mine.

Reread my post to Ukh cat_eyes:

If everyone reads the forum rules (Ideal but appears with every post and thread isn't the reality) it would provide guidance in how we post. The smiley faces, responses that are clearly a reflection that the opposite sex is being addressed.

Our cultural differences especially if not raised in an Islamic environment will lead our interactions with the opposite sex to reflect in how we post. The habits of a person will usually prevail.

If a person has substance and doesn't rely upon physical appearances (not even a reality in my experiences) being attracted to a person intellectually is what many people seek.

Why would a person spend hours in a forum when there are so many people within the Islamic community to interact? Everyone has their own reasons and excuses. The online community for some, especially women, provide comfort with staying within the pale of Islam by not physically interacting with the opposite sex.

It would be difficult for me to consider marrying a person online when I know that marrying for beauty would be second to the din of the person.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

 

[Muhammad]

Greetings,

You say that you're not allowed to interact with the opposite sex but you're doing it on this very forum :/ It's all confusing.

This is why we encourage members to create topics that will be of benefit and serve a good purpose, and to avoid those that are idle and lead to nothing but chit-chat and freemixing.

Questions like that of this thread are typically individual to each person and their circumstances. Most of these are old exhausted topics of this forum and lead to the demise of the Marriage section, hence they are best avoided.

Thread closed.