Your social life?

[Argamemnon]

from where I am sitting.. I think you have true and proper ability to get your life back on track.. I assure you most severely depressed pts, don't even have energy to sit on the computer and engage others the way you do..

First, that was a very touching story, thank you for sharing.

As to my depression, I can assure you that I'm severely depressed. Please don't get me wrong, but it is impossible for you to think otherwise when you don't know me or my situation. I have woken up in the middle of the night and I'm on my computer again. I have terrible insomnia as well..

I think if you want to change your life you can set a date and start.
you think to yourself, by this time next year I'll be 1/3 of the way toward my course work
by this time next year I'll have a wonderful wife
by this time next year I'll have a part time job

and then go after it

my two cents
and Allah swt knows best

I agree with this, although I have tried and failed so many times. But I won't lose anything by trying again (and again). Thank you for your support....

 

[alcurad]

may Allah be with you my brother, I'd say try to meet more people, many brothers in the city next door, no?
never give up

 

[جوري]

First, that was a very touching story, thank you for sharing.

As to my depression, I can assure you that I'm severely depressed. Please don't get me wrong, but it is impossible for you to think otherwise when you don't know me or my situation. I have woken up in the middle of the night and I'm on my computer again. I have terrible insomnia as well..

akhi
I have no doubt you suffer from depression-- and insomnia is a sequela to depression .. I am just asking you to not let this dictate to you who you are.. you'll let a condition govern your affairs rather than you governing your condition. I in some part believe you want all this to end, else you wouldn't be reaching out to your brothers and sisters here?

The insomnia can be easily remedied IF you are willing to adhere to a regimen prescribed.. only 3-7 days on zolpidem with total commitment to the plan of waking and sleeping exactly the same time everyday.. that includes turning off your cell, your TV set, your books. Get into bed only for sleeping and no other activities.. Otherwise your brain gets confused.. so you are in bed but you are not sleeping.. thus every time you get in you'll end up tossing and turning because your brain is ready to party and you want it to sleep. You'd said in one of your previous posts you'd like to under go ECT.. and that might not be a bad idea.. but even people who get treatment have to have the initiative to improve.. doctors DON'T generally treat non-compliant patients.. it is just bad practice for everyone...

I agree with this, although I have tried and failed so many times. But I won't lose anything by trying again (and again). Thank you for your support....

There you go.. as cliche as it is, if at first you don't succeed try and try again..

The Prophet said: 'There is no clement person who has not stumbled, nor is there no wise person who possesses no experience.' (Sunan At-Tirmidhî, Mustadarak Al-Hâkim)

So don't turn 33 or however old you are going to be next without having dramatically improved your outlook and life
1-enroll in easy starting classes
2-enroll for tutoring at the same time to be on top of your game and also to make some friends
3-visit your doc to see what meds you need or to stay on
4-commit to a regimen for everything.. from showers, to prayers to sleep

and smile.. it makes everyone look fifty percent better

 

[north_malaysian]

Brother alcurad, I live extremely isolated and am very lonely. I live in a small town, although it's close to a big city...(and a lot of Muslims live there)

There are a lot of Muslims in the Netherlands. Mostly Turks and Moroccans. I think about half a million Turks, and almost as many Moroccans, but also a lot of people from other corners of the world. I bet you didn't know this

Are there many Muslims from my region (Southeast Asia - namely Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand) in Holland? From what I've heard, most of the Indonesians there are Christians.. is that true?

 

[Argamemnon]

akhi
I have no doubt you suffer from depression-- and insomnia is a sequela to depression .. I am just asking you to not let this dictate to you who you are.. you'll let a condition govern your affairs rather than you governing your condition. I in some part believe you want all this to end, else you wouldn't be reaching out to your brothers and sisters here?

The insomnia can be easily remedied IF you are willing to adhere to a regimen prescribed.. only 3-7 days on zolpidem with total commitment to the plan of waking and sleeping exactly the same time everyday.. that includes turning off your cell, your TV set, your books. Get into bed only for sleeping and no other activities.. Otherwise your brain gets confused.. so you are in bed but you are not sleeping.. thus every time you get in you'll end up tossing and turning because your brain is ready to party and you want it to sleep. You'd said in one of your previous posts you'd like to under go ECT.. and that might not be a bad idea.. but even people who get treatment have to have the initiative to improve.. doctors DON'T generally treat non-compliant patients.. it is just bad practice for everyone...



There you go.. as cliche as it is, if at first you don't succeed try and try again..

The Prophet said: 'There is no clement person who has not stumbled, nor is there no wise person who possesses no experience.' (Sunan At-Tirmidhî, Mustadarak Al-Hâkim)

So don't turn 33 or however old you are going to be next without having dramatically improved your outlook and life
1-enroll in easy starting classes
2-enroll for tutoring at the same time to be on top of your game and also to make some friends
3-visit your doc to see what meds you need or to stay on
4-commit to a regimen for everything.. from showers, to prayers to sleep

and smile.. it makes everyone look fifty percent better

Thank you ukhti

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I was just wondering, are you content with your social life?

In some ways yes, and no. yes, because I have a a few close friends, which im happy with…id prefer to have a few close ones than to have a lot of not so close ones…
But im happy in my social life because I have a trouble socializing, keeping up conversations, etc

What about family. Do you have enough people around you,

I feel the less people around me, the better. I dno, I just prefer not to know people. I don’t hate people, but im defiantly peaceful and tranquil without them

and do you see them often?

Do you mean here people in genral, or friends…either way, I don’t see them often, as I prefer a quite life. When I see my friends, its after long periods of time, usually a few weeks to months and were all happy that way…but when we do see each other, we spend the whole day with one another…

 

[Argamemnon]

Are there many Muslims from my region (Southeast Asia - namely Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand) in Holland? From what I've heard, most of the Indonesians there are Christians.. is that true?

I should correct myself, Dutch-Indonesians are the largest group together with Turks, and the third largest group are Moroccans. I think most Dutch-Indonesians are Christian or atheist.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Argamemnon;

I read the story of Skye’s friend, and she seems a real inspiration. It seems that when you have depression; you have to try ten times harder than everyone else; just to do the day to day stuff the rest of us take for granted.

I listened to a mothers story today, and it seemed heartbreaking, her daughter had a serious car accident which took her a year to recover from. As her daughter was starting to recover; her son was killed, she could not tell me how he died, only to say it was in distressing circumstances.

Afterwards her daughter became depressed and would not go out the house for eight years without bursting into tears, she could not face anyone. About a year ago the lady managed to take her daughter out to buy some clothes and her daughter saw a job advert in the clothes shop, she did get the job after waiting six week for a reply. She endured all kinds of micky taking from the young female staff, and all kinds of stuff from customers, she struggled many times to get on the bus to go to work, but she is still working.

The lady I spoke to has also suffered with depression herself from a young age herself, and has tried ending her life a number of times, but still she is here to tell her story. She is still struggling with the death of her son, she still struggles with the problems of her daughter going out to work.

I met this lady for the first time a few months ago when I made an appeal at our church for volunteers. We need people to go out in the streets late at night, we come into contact with gangs, drunks, drug addicts, violent people, and deeply disturbed people, we try and bring a bit of kindness and care into the community. She volunteered despite all her anxieties, she is a frail woman and she came out with us last Friday. She suffered physically for a couple of days afterwards, but still wants to go out regularly with us.

I have a deep respect and admiration for her, she has to struggle so much harder than I do just to get through the day. She said she would not be here today if it were not for her deep faith, and trusting in the power of prayer.

Instead of getting just an ordinary office job this lady seems to be testing her anxieties to the limit by wanting to come out with us at night. Sometimes it seems that you have to push your limits so far beyond what you consider safe and comfortable, just so that you can face daily life.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric

 

[Argamemnon]

Greetings and peace be with you Argamemnon;

I read the story of Skye’s friend, and she seems a real inspiration. It seems that when you have depression; you have to try ten times harder than everyone else; just to do the day to day stuff the rest of us take for granted.

I listened to a mothers story today, and it seemed heartbreaking, her daughter had a serious car accident which took her a year to recover from. As her daughter was starting to recover; her son was killed, she could not tell me how he died, only to say it was in distressing circumstances.

Afterwards her daughter became depressed and would not go out the house for eight years without bursting into tears, she could not face anyone. About a year ago the lady managed to take her daughter out to buy some clothes and her daughter saw a job advert in the clothes shop, she did get the job after waiting six week for a reply. She endured all kinds of micky taking from the young female staff, and all kinds of stuff from customers, she struggled many times to get on the bus to go to work, but she is still working.

The lady I spoke to has also suffered with depression herself from a young age herself, and has tried ending her life a number of times, but still she is here to tell her story. She is still struggling with the death of her son, she still struggles with the problems of her daughter going out to work.

I met this lady for the first time a few months ago when I made an appeal at our church for volunteers. We need people to go out in the streets late at night, we come into contact with gangs, drunks, drug addicts, violent people, and deeply disturbed people, we try and bring a bit of kindness and care into the community. She volunteered despite all her anxieties, she is a frail woman and she came out with us last Friday. She suffered physically for a couple of days afterwards, but still wants to go out regularly with us.

I have a deep respect and admiration for her, she has to struggle so much harder than I do just to get through the day. She said she would not be here today if it were not for her deep faith, and trusting in the power of prayer.

Instead of getting just an ordinary office job this lady seems to be testing her anxieties to the limit by wanting to come out with us at night. Sometimes it seems that you have to push your limits so far beyond what you consider safe and comfortable, just so that you can face daily life.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric

Greetings and peace be with you Eric,

Another unbelievable story, I'm amazed at their strength. What great people..

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Argamemnon;

Another unbelievable story, I'm amazed at their strength. What great people

Argamemnon my friend, you might be looking at these stories in the wrong way. These are not superhuman people who have qualities that you do not have. Look on the stories as an inspiration, if they can find ways to cope then so can you.

You already have amazing strength, set yourself a scary challenge for tomorrow or the coming week, and go. Whatever you manage to do is an achievement, set yourself another challenge and go.

I am going to make a bold statement; you already have the ability to go out and have conversations with people. In a years time you should be able to write on this forum how you are overcoming your fears and have been going out for the last year.

The only thing you lack is belief in the ability that you already have, very tough if you have struggled for the last eight years. But Allah did not make you in order that you should fail, when you do succeed you may well be able to inspire others.

In the spirit of praying for the courage to go out one more time.

Eric

 

[جوري]

Jet Crash Widower Begs for Help Coping



(Dec. 10) - Overwhelmed with anguish, Dong Yun Yoon walked unsteadily to a pile of rubble where his home once stood and pleaded for advice on how to cope after losing his family.
His wife, two children and mother-in-law were killed when a fighter jet lost power and crashed through their home and burst into flames. A day after the tragedy, Yoon held a news conference to ask guidance from people who have suffered "more terrible things."
F-18 Crash Victim GrievesThe father of the family killed after an F-18 plane crashed into their San Diego, Calif. home sobbed in grief during a press conference where he did not place blame on the pilot.
"Please tell me how to do it," he said Tuesday, surrounded by his pastor, sister and brother. "I don't know what to do."
Yoon, sobbing into a tissue at the foot of his destroyed house, also asked for prayer for the jet's Marine pilot, who ejected safely from the F/A-18D Hornet after his training mission went awry Monday.
"I don't have any hard feelings," Yoon, 37, told reporters. "I know he did everything he could."
The military has given no official word on the cause of the crash, which incinerated two homes and damaged three others.
U.S. Rep. Duncan Hunter, the ranking Republican on the House Armed Services Committee, called on the Marine Corps on Tuesday to release the maintenance records of all its F/A-18D Hornet fighters.
Military Jet CrashAP129 photos This undated photo provided by their father Dong Yun Yoon, shows Grace Yoon, left and Rachel Yoon, 2 months. Grace, Rachel and two other members of their family were killed when a military F/A-18D jet crashed into the Yoon house Monday in the University City neighborhood of San Diego. Grace Yoon was found in the home Tuesday. Their mother Young Mi Yoon, 36, Rachel and their grandmother, Suk Im Kim, 60, died after the jet lost power and crashed into their house. (AP Photo/Courtesy of Dong Yun Yoon) (Note: Please disable your pop-up blocker)

He said the fiery crash was apparently caused by power failure. "My understanding ... is that the engines failed, causing the aircraft to lose thrust," Hunter spokesman Joe Kasper said.
The crash was probably unrelated to the previous discovery of cracks in hinges on the wings of more than a dozen of the $57 million aircraft, the San Diego-area congressman said.
"It is important that we gain a complete understanding of what went wrong," Hunter said.
The jet was returning from an offshore training mission when it clipped a tree and slammed into the neighborhood about two miles from Marine Corps Air Station Miramar.
Marine Cpl. Travis Easter said Miramar officials had no immediate response to the request for maintenance records.
The Rev. Kevin Lee, associate pastor of the Korean United Methodist Church that Yoon attended, identified the victims as Young Mi Yoon, 36; her daughters Grace, 15 months, and Rachel, 2 months; and her mother, Suk Im Kim, 60. Lee said Kim was visiting from South Korea to help her daughter move across town and adjust to the arrival of her second child.
Dong Yun Yoon emigrated from South Korea in 1989, learning English and becoming a U.S. citizen, church leaders said. He helped run his brother-in-law's stores — a coffee shop in a San Diego beach neighborhood and a variety store near the Mexican border, according to Michael Rose, a neighbor.
Recent Air AccidentsAP22 photos Firefighters work at the scene after a Mexican government jet crashed during rush hour in Mexico City Nov. 4. Interior Secretary Juan Camilo Mourino, who helped lead Mexico's fight against drug cartels, and 12 others died. At least 40 people were injured.(Note: Please disable your pop-up blocker)

The family had recently moved into the area after outgrowing their condominium.
Neighbors and church leaders said Young Mi Yoon was a religious woman who sought to balance family and career. She was preparing to become a registered nurse, her job in South Korea.
Rose, 44, saw Dong Yun Yoon say goodbye to his wife and baby in their driveway as he left for work Monday, about three hours before the fighter jet clipped a jacaranda tree, bounced off the pavement and crashed into the Yoons' home.
"I saw their last kiss," said Rose, a retired photographer. "I thought, `What a beautiful sight,' and then later in the day they were just gone."
Associated Press writer Erica Werner in Washington contributed to this report.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2008-12-10 06:35:32

http://news.aol.com/article/jet-cra...g/271568?icid=200100397x1214255414x1200915536

 

[Argamemnon]

Greetings and peace be with you Argamemnon;

Argamemnon my friend, you might be looking at these stories in the wrong way. These are not superhuman people who have qualities that you do not have. Look on the stories as an inspiration, if they can find ways to cope then so can you.

You already have amazing strength, set yourself a scary challenge for tomorrow or the coming week, and go. Whatever you manage to do is an achievement, set yourself another challenge and go.

I am going to make a bold statement; you already have the ability to go out and have conversations with people. In a years time you should be able to write on this forum how you are overcoming your fears and have been going out for the last year.

The only thing you lack is belief in the ability that you already have, very tough if you have struggled for the last eight years. But Allah did not make you in order that you should fail, when you do succeed you may well be able to inspire others.

In the spirit of praying for the courage to go out one more time.

Eric

Greetings and peace be with you Eric,

I will try my best. I will be applying for jobs in the days and weeks ahead. It's scary doing this when severly depressed, there is no guarantee that I could hold jobs, but even in these circumstances I'm trying. I have nothing to lose...

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Argamemnon;

I will try my best. I will be applying for jobs in the days and weeks ahead. It's scary doing this

That is wonderful news, I shall keep you in my prayers. If I was in your position I ask myself would I be able to go out and apply for jobs, I can sort of understand the scariness of were you are coming from.

there is no guarantee that I could hold jobs, but even in these circumstances I'm trying. I have nothing to lose...

Measure your success by how much you try, measure your success that after any failure you pick yourself up and try again. Measure your success by your determination to keep going whatever happens.

My daughter is 28, she has suffered from epileptic seizures since the age of three, she can never tell in advance when it is going to happen. During her school years she was having three or four seizures a week, and she missed a lot of her education. She tends to have seizures when she is anxious, and jobs seem to come with pressures that make her anxious. She has had about a dozen jobs, and had to leave most of them because of her seizures.

She has managed to hold down a part time cleaning job for the last year, her employers are very understanding and helpful. She has had a number of injuries during a seizure, she collapsed crossing a road, but somehow finds that inner strength to keep going.

I would say she is far stronger than I am, simply because of the effort it takes her to go through each day. I have been amazed at the amount of times she has lost a job, and somehow finds the courage to go out and get another one, she pushes herself, we don’t push her.

She lives a hundred miles from us, and she can often spend an hour on the phone talking about her worries. Despite all these problems she has carried with her through life, she has been happily married for three years to a lovely man who is very caring and understanding. He is an editor for a national magazine, and we often wonder how on earth someone like that could knowingly marry her with all her problems, I can only say that God works in mysterious ways.

You don’t become stronger by doing all the stuff you are good at, you somehow become mentally stronger when you battle with all the stuff that holds you back in life.

In the spirit of praying for the courage to go out one more day.

Eric

 

[Intisar]

Nopes, America is the same as the UK in that. University is for the degree, not college.

Are you sure? Isnt a University just a collection of colleges, or was it the other way around? My brother went to both a university and a college and a got a degree there.

In Canada, a college is pretty much the same as a University except it's lower academically.

Anyway, I'm content with my social life, much like Amatul Wadud I was a social butterfly, but it came really annoying. Like now I HATE being around people, I always find time to hide myself in my room or whatnot, but it became really depressing, like all I used to do for 2 months when I started work was go to my room, go to work, come back. I never hung out with friends or family.

Now that I've moved in with more family they've forced me to get out of my shell and hang out with them, go to dinners and stuff. See one thing I'm good at is making people laugh, and laughing, so once my close relatives figured that out about they've been forcing me to go out with them ever since.

Before that, in my high school years, I had like a whooooooole group of girlfriends, we'd go everywhere together. We were like a walking conversation, imagine a group of girls walking around yelling to their friends about ''what happened last night''.

Alhamdulilah I matured though, and much of those ''so-called'' friends I've let go, and I'm only with my family. I don't associate with my work friends much, nor with my other ''friends''. I like being lonely, it's so much fun, you get to figure out so much you didn't realise about yourself. Gives to time to improve your deen too, alhamdulilah.

 

[MO783]

When you work full time you do not have much of a social life, but I would say Alhumdullilah my friends are with me

 

[Argamemnon]

When you work full time you do not have much of a social life

I think you mean during the week? But you could do something at the weekends.

 

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

See what's happening down your local community centre, youth centre, voluntary work...masjid etc etc

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[Argamemnon]

Greetings and peace be with you Argamemnon;

My daughter is 28, she has suffered from epileptic seizures since the age of three, she can never tell in advance when it is going to happen. During her school years she was having three or four seizures a week, and she missed a lot of her education. She tends to have seizures when she is anxious, and jobs seem to come with pressures that make her anxious. She has had about a dozen jobs, and had to leave most of them because of her seizures.

She has managed to hold down a part time cleaning job for the last year, her employers are very understanding and helpful. She has had a number of injuries during a seizure, she collapsed crossing a road, but somehow finds that inner strength to keep going.

I would say she is far stronger than I am, simply because of the effort it takes her to go through each day. I have been amazed at the amount of times she has lost a job, and somehow finds the courage to go out and get another one, she pushes herself, we don’t push her.

She lives a hundred miles from us, and she can often spend an hour on the phone talking about her worries. Despite all these problems she has carried with her through life, she has been happily married for three years to a lovely man who is very caring and understanding. He is an editor for a national magazine, and we often wonder how on earth someone like that could knowingly marry her with all her problems, I can only say that God works in mysterious ways.

You don’t become stronger by doing all the stuff you are good at, you somehow become mentally stronger when you battle with all the stuff that holds you back in life.

In the spirit of praying for the courage to go out one more day.

Eric

Greetings and peace be with you Eric,

I'm sorry to hear of your daughter's situation, but also happy that she has a fullfilling life. I'm amazed at her strength