I'm writing about my school friend
I don't remember exactly I must be in 9th or 10th standard.After finishing of dua ,we all went to class room for the first lecture.My class teacher was absent on that day.One of my friend looking very upset,her eyes turned to red,it shows clearly that she cried a lot.On of the class mate asked her what happened,she broke into tears.All the girls surrounded her out of curiosity why she is crying?she didn't said anything.we all were console her,finally she said in a dim voice "My mother scolded me today"
lol then we said that's not big deal we scolded by mother almost every day.One of the girl said I beaten by mother often.
on the next day I sat next to her ,asked her btw why your mother scolded you?
she said my mother asked me for water,I took water in the glass,and it slipped from my hand ,glass got broken,and my mother.....
The very first thought that came to my mind her mother scolded her for breaking glass....
Then she continued "I told my mother it was only half glass of water,my mother scolded me you have wasted half glass of water" I was speechless ,her mother scolded for this.
she was nephew of my deeniyat teacher.I told my mother about this especially, she is very hygiene conscious she wastes lots of water.
'On that day should' come in the starting of the sentence. 'On that day my class teacher was absent.'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
One of my friend looking very upset
Same mistake repeated. 'one of my friends' Plural should be used when you use 'one of'
'One of my friends was looking very upset.'
or One of my friends looked upset.'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
,her eyes turned to red,
'to' should not be there. 'turned red'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
it shows clearly
' it showed clearly'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
On of
'one of'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
surrounded her out of curiosity why she is crying?
'curiosity wondering why she is crying' or 'curiosity and asked her why she is crying' You can't join two sentences without a conjunction or else use full stop.
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
she didn't said anything.
Same mistake repeated. 'say anything' present tense should be used after didn't.
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
we all were console her
It would be better if you don't use all. 'we were consoling her' or 'we consoled her'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
we scolded by mother
'we are scolded'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
I beaten
'I am beaten'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
Why your mother scolded you
'Why did your mother scold you' or 'Why did she scold you'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
my mind her mother
'my mind was her'
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
conscious she wastes
'conscious and wastes' or 'conscious so wastes'
I could correct only these mistakes .Punctuation are also not used properly. I will correct them afterwards. Try to avoid same mistakes.
A good passage , and good observations by sister Innocent Soul
format_quote Originally Posted by Pure Purple
she was nephew of my deeniyat teacher
She was the niece of my deeniyat teacher.
A bhaanja or bhateeja is nephew, and bhaanji or bhateeji is niece. And here you would put "the" in front.
It might be better earlier in the passage, here: "One of my friends, who was the niece of my deeniyat teacher, looked very upset."
I told my mother about this especially, she is very hygiene conscious she wastes lots of water.
I told my mother about this especially, as she is very hygiene conscious and wastes lots of water.
The "as" in the middle is to show why you told your mother and connect the sentence together.
You don't need to repeat the second "she" but can use "and" to carry it on from the first one.
An alternative way of phrasing the sentence could be:
I made sure to tell my mother about this, as she is very hygiene conscious and uses lots of water.
Last edited by Insaanah; 05-15-2013 at 09:58 PM.
Stunningly beautiful adhaan from the Dome of the Rock in Masjid ul Aqsa Download (right click and choose "save target/link as").
This is a clear message for mankind in order that they may be warned thereby, and that they may know that He is only One God, and that those of understanding may take heed (14:52)
Indeed Allah knows, and you know not (16: 74, part)
mujhe likhna tha ki safai pasand hai,uske liye kya word ho ga?
Aap ne sahi word istemaal kiya aur zyada galtiya nahi hai. Thoda aur english padhenge to aasan hoga. Koshish kare ke kahaniyaa, akhbar wagheera angreezi mein padhe. Aise hi english mein likhte rahiye jab bhi aap ko waqt mile.
Mere pass itni sari english story books hain,CURE (medical thriller),dehli is not far (by ruskin bond),sherlock holmes,da vinci code ek do page padhkar rakh di,Angels and demons to maine aadhi kitab padh kar rakh di,,Meri behan keh rahi thi aage bahot interesting hai,kar kar ke manie aadhi padhkar rakh di,
Mere bahot saari kitaben hai,lekin ek do page padhti hun aur bore ho jati hun,mujhe neend aane lagti hai.
Nend to kabhi kabhi mujhe bhi aati hai lekin pukhta irada hi sab kuch hai mein koi bhi kitab padhne se pehle irada kar leti ho ke kam az kam itne dinno mein saare novel khatam mar dongi behter hoga agar aap thriller novels padhe. Agar zyada padhna dilchahta to aap sun kar bhi seekh sakti hai. jese english news channels agar wo bhi noring lage to discovery channel try kare. Issitaeah to karna hota hai shuru mein bekaar lagta hai lekin baad mein aadat ho jaati hai. Achiniyat kariye Allah se madad mange. Novels ko dhyaan se imagine karte howe padhe aur koshish kare ke roz ek waqt muqarar kar ke padhe. Bohot saare novels ek saath na padhe to acha hai. miqdaar se zyada quality pe dhyaan de.
Maaf karye agar ye batein sun kar aap ke kaan par jo nahi reng rahi hai to.
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lekin darr lag raha hai ke ab kahin Hindi na bhool jao.
tumhen hindi aati hai? lekin tum to hindi game me jawab nahi deti
,tum check karna ,aur haan is baar ache se check karna
tum batao,koi topic do
I was speechless ,her mother scolded for this.
, and good observations by sister Innocent Soul
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