format_quote Originally Posted by
'Abd-al Latif
And what restrictions are these? The restriction from traveling alone so they may be safe from a man who intends harm to them? or is it men who complain about sexual abuse?
Is that she must veil herself and conceal her beauty so she may not be bothered by men who have a deseased heart?
Or is it that the husband has higher rights over his wife? I'm sure no man will ever feel appriceated if he has a rebelious wife.
Yes, all of the above. And most of all I am bothered by the quranic notion that all women are the same, that none is able to defend herself, that each one is bothered by men with a diseased heart and of course that man's marital wishes about the rebeliosity of his wife(s) come before their rights.
What you fail to understand is that islam isn't based on equality, it's based on justice. And yes Islam does have gender roles.
Can you give birth? Can you breast feed your child? Or do you have enough patience, care and compasion as that of a mother to raise your children?
Or do woman have the natural physical strength to work hard labour and earn a living in such a manner everyday?
Men and women are naturally different so they have different inherent qualities and will naturally play different roles, there are certain things a man can do that a woman cannot do and vise versa. We are equal in gods eyes but we are not the same.
Ok, lets talk about inheritance. But before I do, remember the key word...Justice! As for the witness being more then that of the man, i'll get back to that shortly.
Say that a man has just died and he had 10 million pounds (or dollars if you're in America) in his will and the only recipients of this inheritance is 1 man and 1 woman. The man gets 6 million and the woman gets 4 million. Once they have obtained the inheretance they go their own seperate ways.
The man, as time goes on, gets older and wants to get married. As he gets married he has to pay the woman her dowry, and once he is married he has to pay all the household expences such as rent, bills, tax etc and Islamically he is obliged to shelter, feed and clothe his wife.
Some time goes by and he has children, so now he has to get a bigger house, a bigger car and spend more money on expences for his wife and kids while they are not obliged to spend a penny on their father.
While on the other hand, the woman who inherited 4 million pounds or dollars decides not to spend a penny of of her inhereted money. She later decides to get married, so now she receives a dowry from her husband. Then as a wife, it is her husband who is obliged to clothe her, feeds her and shelter her and she isn't obliged to spend a penny on him because the Islamic obligation to spend is on the husband even after they have children. Now as time goes on the wife gets bored of staying home so she decides to work. Islamically all the money that the wife earns is her own money and the husband does not have any right to take it from her unless she gives of her own will.
So over the years the man spends the money on bills and on a basic living and the wife sits back and relaxes so the money of the man goes lower and lower as the years go on, whereas the woman gets money from the dowry, money from her husband to spend on what she wants, she gets fed, sheltered and clothed and then when she works the husband isn't allowed any of it so her money goes higher and higher.
The man has more legal expences that he must spend the money on so he is more in need of a bigger share of inheretance whereas a woman isn't because the men are Islamically obliged to spend on them before or after marriage.
This is the Islamic justice!
There are biological differences but that doesn't mean a man is an inherently better caretaker or that women are better at parenting and worse at keeping bills and finances.
Quran in my opinion underestimats women and is overly protective, making husbands take care of all importan things, which btw I find discriminatory against my own gender!
So I don't find the Islamic system particulary just.
Honestly, would you allow your wife to marry 3 more husbands? Will you be able to tell which one her 4 husbands have made her pregnant? Can you stand the thought of knowning another man is spending the night with her?
A man can have four wives because it isn't a woman who usually desire more then one partner. But bare in mind that it isn't an obligation to have 4 wives, it isn't even an obligation to have one wife. To have one wife is recommended and to have more then that, up to four, is just a permissibility!
Excuse my language, but even in the non-muslim society a woman who sleeps with more then one man is known as a w*ore so what would be the case for a woman who marries more then one man??
Tell me, why does it only matter what men want in their wives? What about women? You think women are ok with their men having multiple wives? You seem to think no man is and most women are. Now, I am told a wife can divorce her husband if she doesn't want him to marry another though I'm not sure about that, so why not make the same option for women? If the husban were incomplicit with her wife's wishes, he could simply leave. Of course, provided both spouses get an equal share of the inheritence.
The last part really made em thinking. We apparently live in a chavinistc society where a woman sleeping with several men is called a wohre and there's not a single really pejorative word for a man sleeping with several women.
Everyone in heaven will be chaste.
so what are the virgins all about?
That's with their permission, if they refuse then the man cannot force her. Again, it goes back to my point that what man in the world is going to allow his wife to sleep with another male? Please, use some common sense!
. . . . what did I say that you found 'offensive'?
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