When Reza started university, he was a 17-year-old who knew his mind. On his first day, when the older students gathered all the first years for initiation, he refused to do what they said. The older students were irritated at this young upstart. Initiation was part of campus rites — everybody had to do it. Besides, it was harmless fun.
"I explained to them that what they were asking me to do went against Islamic principles and was beneath my dignity, which Islam tells us to always uphold," said Reza. Nobody wanted to hear a "holier than thou" sermon, and thus Reza was thrown into the pond.
"However," continued Reza, "I was glad to see that the girls in hijab were respected and did not have to undergo what they did not want to." Of the five first-year girls in hijab, Zahera was one.
Zahera and Reza later learned that those in the know had stayed away from the piazza, the main area of campus where initiation took place.
"I remember a guy approaching me on my first day. I was so reserved, as I had just recently started wearing hijab and wanted to respect it," said Zahera. "But all he wanted to do was talk about chemistry as we were in the same class!'' she laughed. "Unfortunately, I soon 'melted' and he and I became friends. It was quite difficult not to interact with the males in my class."
Intermingling of the Sexes
Reza echoed her sentiments by saying that intermingling is the most difficult obstacle. As a male, he feels that he's luckier than females in being able to avoid it. "For some reason, it's mostly the males who drive and have cars in the first and second year on campus. Thus, most girls have to be part of a lift club. And I was able to keep my interaction with females down to the bare minimum by just hanging out with the guys."
Zahera agreed with Reza. "I was part of a lift club, and when you spend almost two hours a day traveling with people, it's natural that you'll form a friendship with them. As for socializing, all of our class hung out together. Sometimes us girls would go out by ourselves, but usually it was a mixed group."
However, both Reza and Zahera are adamant that intermingling, although wrong, does not cause one to lose one's Muslim identity. Reza launched into a short speech: "Maintaining your Muslim identity is about resisting the temptations university life throws at you. It's a myth, though, that non-Muslims will pressure you to commit acts against the ethos of Islam. Most Muslims tend to stick together. So the pressure comes from non-practicing Muslim friends. After Friday Prayer, the talk will turn to the weekend. You'll hear there's a party happening on Saturday night. You can decide if you want to follow the crowd or just say no. There's no such thing as platonic friendships, so a class friendship can easily turn into something more. It's tempting, and it's easy to have several relationships on campus."
Zahera, however, does have many non-Muslim friends. "I was involved in numerous extracurricular activities, including sports clubs and the campus newspaper. My headscarf proudly proclaimed my Muslim identity, and almost all my colleagues and friends respected it. There were always social events to attend, and through the newspaper, I often received VIP tickets to clubs and other parties. I always said no, and I was never pressurized to attend. Sure, I heard one or two comments about what a stiff I was, but it didn't bother me. Once, I was the only person not drinking at a dinner. One of my colleagues insisted I just take a sip — he was slightly drunk — and the others immediately lambasted him. I had a Jewish friend who loved the headscarf and used to tell me I'm far more stylish in hijab than girls who follow Western fashion!"
What It Means to Be a Muslim
Zahera was quick to add, "I know I shouldn't even have been at the table where people were drinking, but it was when I was younger and although strong in my beliefs, I was less firm in my assertiveness."
What is the key to maintaining one's Muslim identity at university? It's obvious that strength of character is extremely important. "If you respect yourself, others will naturally respect you," commented Reza.
It is disconcerting to note that there are students who mistakenly believe that maintaining one's identity is only about not drinking and not being engaged in sexual activity. "I know so many people who'll take umbrage at being called non-practicing Muslims, but yet their behavior is consistent with this label," said Zahera. "I was so disappointed in my fellow-Muslim colleagues when a non-Muslim friend commented that when she passes them she does not think highly of them and thinks they are damaging Islam just by being themselves."
Reza clarified, "If you pass by the 'Muslim' area, you are going to see students playing cards all day, probably swearing loudly, and couples sitting together. They are seen to be on campus purely for socializing and give off a very bad impression of Islam." He hesitated, then said, "As harsh as this may sound, if one does not have a very strong Muslim identity to begin with, meaning, not wearing hijab, not praying and so on, then there's nothing to maintain."
While Reza said he was not part of the mainstream crowd, Zahera admitted she was. "But I wasn't just a sheep", she defended herself. "I was popular and hung out often with the crowd. But people respected my decision not to always go out with them. Guys knew they couldn't put their arms around me or hug me as they did with the other girls. When my friend brought to my attention what she thought of the Muslims, she also mentioned that prior to knowing me, she had thought the same of me. This made me question my hanging out there, but I had a large number of friends within the group and could not break away, try as I did."
Appearances are indeed deceptive. It seems clear that unless you have Muslim company, you are in danger of losing your Muslim identity. "Despite my earlier statement, the Muslim students, although non-practicing, are still proud of their identities. We have daily Islamic sessions and there are prayer facilities," said Reza.
We continue to discuss the magical solution to maintaining your Muslim identity, and the answer is simple. Know who you are, follow Islamic values firmly, be strong in your beliefs, and trust that others will respect you if you respect yourself.
Zahera had one final word of advice: "Nobody's a saint, there are times we all feel tempted to 'let go', and the Western lifestyle seems so attractive. But then we know that the path to Paradise is a difficult one. What helps me when these moments strike is asking myself 'Do you want to please mere mortals and gain their brief admiration, or do you want to please Allah and gain His eternal pleasure?'"
This is actually a good lesson for all people of faith. While I was in college I saw many self-proclaimed Christians who appeared to be anything but. It is hard for young people today to stay true to their convinctions in the face of peer pressure.
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."
sounds alot like a madeup story to tell youngin's what to do when they are under peer pressure. Much like the ads that are meant to steer people away from drug use in college, good little story though
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."
- Bertrand Russell
"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"There is nothing so likely to produce peace as to be well prepared to meet the
enemy." - George Washington
sounds alot like a madeup story to tell youngin's what to do when they are under peer pressure. Much like the ads that are meant to steer people away from drug use in college, good little story though
3 Hours Ago 12:54 PM
I agree. Sounds a bit like the scare film, "Reefer Madness"
Sorry to bust a cap, but its not propaganda. You speak as if it doesnt happen. Back to reality please, thanks.
Really?! Do you know the people that are being spoke of to prove that? Not that I really care that much, I just dont really think it is a real life story. Also, I am not saying it doesnt happen, I am simply saying that it comes across as a little made up, either way the point of the article is no different, hopefully it will help some other Muslim kids make good life choices.
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."
- Bertrand Russell
"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"There is nothing so likely to produce peace as to be well prepared to meet the
enemy." - George Washington
Do I need to know THOSE people when in fact I know of some at my uni? Is it really hard to accept? Just because you dont see it doesnt mean its fake. You dont "think" its true, doesnt automatically make it false. The story is an example of what some students may deal with. It doesnt have to be a fiction story for it to have lessons and morals to learn from. If one could deal with it in society as a whole or worldwide, doesnt disclude the fact it can happen at school.
Last edited by Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн; 04-04-2007 at 06:14 PM.
*Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*
Doesn't sound made-up to me seeing as I've experienced much of the peer pressure in question (especially the offers for parties and boozing). Luckily, because I explained it to them, my non-Muslim friends understand and respect my beliefs.
And forget 'Reefer Madness', 'Trainspotting' is where it's at.
The story is an example of what some students may deal with.
an example
Look I am not saying the story is definitely not true, I am saying from my perspective it seems like propaganda, mind you that not all propaganda is bad. I have already said several times that I hope it helps some Muslim students make better choices in regards to their faith, what do you care whether or not I believe it is true? The story wasnt published because it is big news, it is published for one reason and that is to help Muslims make better choices. If you want to believe it is based on real people then good for you, I was just stating my opinion, and if you dont like opinions or your get this worked up over them, maybe you should steer clear of the World Affairs threads because you will see a lot of them here.
and as for Muezzin, I believe you are attending Law school, right? Well we all know what goes on there.... LOL j/k
Seriously though, I didnt mean to offend I was just saying it seems like something read out of a dont do drugs book. Geez cant say anything without offending someone
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."
- Bertrand Russell
"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"There is nothing so likely to produce peace as to be well prepared to meet the
enemy." - George Washington
I agree. Some of the posters here are wound way too tight.
Yeah...that's right. Non-Muslims believe there is "nothing wrong" with "Western" culture. That is so stupifyingly ignorant as to defy belief.
The point is the article seems clumsy and definitely stagey. Perhaps it was translated into English and lost something? I am sure Muslim students in Western universities do feel some of those pressures...but it still reads like a draft script for "Western Temptations, a Cautionary Tale for Observant Muslims in the 21st Century"
I wouldn't be surprised if, in the film version, the "Westerners" are cast with little rubber horns coming out of their heads (note: I'm not sure if Islam employs references to temptation and "the devil"..perhasp someone could enlighten me)
that was worth reading. Jazakallah Khair for sharing this with us.
Its sad these Muslims succumb to the non-Mulsims ways and social demands. Worst is that sometimes these things happen in MSA (Muslim Student Association) at my university. I don't mean the drinking but almost everything else. And there is nothing wrong with being "too tight" when it comes to practicing Islam properly.
Clumsy and dodgy cuz yall dont like hearing truth. I dont blame you..
Huh? Don't like hearing the truth? That there is drinking on university campuses?? That there is sexual activity?? That Muslim students might feel estrangement??
Look, sis. I didn't invent Western culture. In fact, I don't think anyone even asked my permission. As a consequence, I have no personal hang-up with hearing the truth.
You are going to have to be more specific when insulting me (or perhaps all "Westerners" as you used the expression "yall") because I can't tell what I am being accused of.
I wouldn't be surprised if, in the film version, the "Westerners" are cast with little rubber horns coming out of their heads (note: I'm not sure if Islam employs references to temptation and "the devil"..perhasp someone could enlighten me)
Jeez, for a guy quick to point out chips on minority groups' shoulders, you seem to be carrying around a few of your own!
Where does it demonise 'Westerners'? If anything, it condemns 'Non-Practicing Muslims'. Both the boy and the girl accept that 'Westerners' have a certain lifestyle, which is fine; however, if you're Muslim, you're supposed to have a different lifestyle and stick to it rather than give in to peer pressure. What's wrong with that?
Jeez, for a guy quick to point out chips on minority groups' shoulders, you seem to be carrying around a few of your own!
Where does it demonise 'Westerners'? If anything, it condemns 'Non-Practicing Muslims'. Both the boy and the girl accept that 'Westerners' have a certain lifestyle, which is fine; however, if you're Muslim, you're supposed to have a different lifestyle and stick to it rather than give in to peer pressure. What's wrong with that?
To paraphrase WC...never has more controversy made by so many over so little.
I have absolutely ZERO problem with the intent of the article. I saw it as perfectly harmless albeit somewhat clumsy. I found the whole thing humorous...half imagaining the non-Muslims enticing the poor Muslim kids....."come on kids, join us in sin.....it's FUN!" Like I said...Reefer Madness for the 21st Century.
Jazzy seems to have not taken good humored criticism very well and has seen fit to indict "Western culture" in its entirety
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