I was wondering if this is considered a haram marriage. If a guy proposes to a girl. She doesn't want him in her heart but her parents do. She doesn't want to disappoint them so she can't say no but she has a hard time saying yes. She tells them she needs more time to think and then after some fighting and arguing she tells them to do whatever they want. The parents accept the proposal and the girl breaks down in tears because she doesn't want it.
Is this a haram marriage? The girl never said no but it is quite clear in her heart and her action that she doesn't want it.
Although you wasnt asked in the right way, and you didnt say yes as such, dont you think the marriage is valid if the contract was all done with and you gave your supposed consent for the second time @ the nikah? It's all halal if done in the right way. Why would you wanna redo?
And at the past...Nobody needs to know...Save yourself and Allah (swt) who you should repent to.
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format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Is this a haram marriage? The girl never said no but...
Parents must not force daughter ( or son ) in to marriage . But s/he says yes in front of 2 witnesses , Mahr is given to her --then marriage is valid.
A girl complained to Prophet (pbuh) that her father gave her in to marriage without her permission . Prophet allowed that girl to break it if she wants but did not declare marriage as haram.
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
Thats being greedy brother ,if someone doesn't want to marry personally,why be greedy?
I don't know if that marriage is haaram because her parents and your parents accept but that is not the problem,the problem is that the sister herself doesn't want to marry. My advice: try to give her time and space and may Allah makes things work out. Ameen.
Btw if she does want to marry you,ask her if she really does. Maybe she might love another man,and have an affair with him when your at work..
wow...sister, you seem to be in the same situation i am...and sorry it is rather long!
I relate this if anyone else is in this situation to be aware of your rights and then make a conscious descision.
I didn't have anyone else i wanted to marry only that i definitley didn't want to marry my husband.
I made it clear to my parents but they couldn't take no for an answer and started using emotional blackmail... they ignored the issue and postponed it for 6 years..by which time most people knew of the proposal and so called acceptance by my parents. This was a most difficult time,as i had to act like it was ok... if anyone cared to notice, i never showed it was ok.
when it was time i said it again that i don't like him...if i had known then i wasn't doing a bad thing islamically by making my parents unhappy i would have stuck to my answer. They told me how sinful it is to do this to your parents and i got frightened of that. so i said i'll accept if it makes you happy but don't think i will be happy with the marriage.
After which more emotional blackmail followed ...to say i am happy and mean it. I couldn't understand how that would be possible but they seem to think so...i convinced them to let the groom know ,i don't what was said to him but they agreed istikhara should be done and the result would depend on that. they wanted to intrepret the dreams ...lol obviously mine was a clear 'no' ..no need for interpretation!
somone must have mentioned to my dad that the devil can come and interfere with such things...so it became ..my istikhara was not valid.
The grooms one was unsure but more positive...i mean what kind of a man would want to marry someone who doesn't want to marry him?!
That was it...it happend and i thought id make a go of it since i was here.
im trying and its not too bad...almost 8 years now and 1 child...theres no way i can leave now and that is my descion for the welfare of my child.
I pray that i can love my husband so i can treat him better..i just hope my feelings for him and some of my resulting actions will be forgiven.
Any sisters out there please know the status and rights of the husband before you get tied up .... it is extremely difficult to sincerely do the right things when you have taken the choice under ignorance.
As for anyone in this situation...what keeps me sane is knowing that Allah does only what is good for His slaves and so i pin my hopes there and know inshallah ...it will be ok.
If you were the guy and you found out that the person you are going to marry was forced to marry you but now they say they love you how would you react?
It is very possible to discover you actually like and love the person...
Although it may take time to get over the initial anger and pain from the forcing though.
It is possible for someone in this situation to love their partner.
Just remember ...Allah is the controller of hearts.
wslm
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