I dont think that I have ever felt this worse, thus I came here to seek advice, maybe some help. I consider myself someone who truly understands the value of my parents. I have always respected them, given them their right, lowered that wing of mercy that ALlah speaks of in the Quraan, never have I uttered a harsh word to either of them. I love both of them alot but my mother and me had a fight today about the way I dress, which resulted into my mother saying 'you will go to hell'. I dont know what got my mother that much in rage that she thinks she can destine me to hell?. I will briefly describe the way I dress,I usually wear knee'length dress'es with jeans, or pants, linen, I keep it loose.
I don't understand why my mother is being so judgemental & even going so far to declare me as a future hell resident. My mother usually gets touchy when me & her go out together. She shows me all the love in the world, but as soon as it comes to stepping out that door all hell breaks loose. I am a Muslim, I know that I am not perfect but I am trying,.
I dont want to be someone I am not, I am NOT a niqaabie, nor am I a jilbabie, maybe one day when my Imaan flourishes I will wear clothes according to my Imaan until then I am not going to put on a show for our next neighbours or people i dont even know just because so & so's daughter wears a nIqaab or Abayah! Why must I please people, this is who I am! I am obviously not ready to wear such clothes for Allahs sake, why must I wear it for people?!
Must I become a munafiq? a pretender? I am in a lot of pain, my own mother has said such things to me. How is that suppose to help me? Isn't it enough for her that I am a good daughter other'wise? I try to do so much for her, even put body lotion on her every time she comes out the shower, massage her feet. Kiss her every day! I try to do everything she asks me, everything and even beyond. When she tells me no I accept it without questioning her. I am not saying that I can ever repay my mother, but I try as hard as I can. I know shes right.
I am heading towards that path, where is the patience? Why can't she wait for me to develop, slowly inshaAllah I will get there, I know I will but for now this is who I am.
Please advice me...
jazaks
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