My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter (OP)
Hi, I want to post here to try and get some advice from muslims.
Me and my muslim girlfriend have been seeing each other for about a year now and a few days ago her parents found out after seeing us in the street and and freaked out. They had a huge row and because she said she would not stop seeing me, they've kicked her out of their home and disowned her, they said they never want to see her again. She's only 17... I'm 22
She explained that it's because I'm not muslim and her parents are old fashioned and prefer the traditional ways of doing things and she isn't like that, she barely follows the religion and the parts she did follow was mostly because her father enforced it on her. Praying, fasting, wearing the hijab etc.
Now she is living with me, I can provide for her financially so she would probably be better off but I still don't want her relationship with her family to be crushed because of me. Is there anything we can do besides break up that will help mend their relationship? On top of everything I have her older sister banging on my door, giving me endless abuse and now her and her sister are fighting.
It's just a nightmare situation, is there anything we can do? Maybe if I could just sit down with her parents and let them see I'm not a loser and I'm perfectly capable of being a decent boyfriend for her.
I have no interest in becoming a muslim, besides like I said she barely follows it anyway. She just prays occasionally, fasts and that's it. She's made it very clear that she doesn't want to break up with me and I feel the same way, so is there any possible way we can solve this?
What kinds of Muslims are there in this day and age...falling in love with an Atheist! I wouldn't look twice at an atheist!
La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah......................
This kind of judgement serves no purpose but to feed your own ego. Sorry to say, but you really need to think before you type or talk. Once a sentence leaves your mouth, it's can't be unsaid and will be recorded for you and written in your book of deeds.
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
This kind of judgement serves no purpose but to feed your own ego. Sorry to say, but you really need to think before you type or talk. Once a sentence leaves your mouth, it's can't be unsaid and will be recorded for you and written in your book of deeds.
Back at you brother If you love Allaah, you wouldn't even look at a non Muslim. Khalaas.
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
Salaams brothers and sisters.
I am "youngens" boyfriend, the girl he is talking about in this thread. First and foremost I want to say so many of you have been utterly disrespectful and outright rude to him. He came here seeking advice from people he thought would have an idea about the situation we're in and you throw him to the wolves? Who the hell do you think you are saying I am misguided...! You're the misguided one sweetheart.
I know what I am doing is considered wrong by many but I don't give a flying f what anyone thinks. My parents treated me like crap and forced me into a religion that I only partially believed myself and my life was a living hell. I had absolutely no freedom and couldn't do anything for myself. Yes I love my parents very much but I refuse to let them control my life any more. My boyfriend is a better man than every muslim I ever met combined, he is intelligent, smart and gorgeous and I could not be happier with him. He is successful and I'll never leave him just because my controlling parents tell me to, who the hell do they think they are? The time for controlling and rules has passed, I am an adult now.
Yes it kills me that my parents disowned me, I love them very much but if kicking me out and disowning me is a tantrum to try and get me to bend to their will then it won't work. I hope one day they will understand my choice and accept the choices in life that I make, if they don't then, well some things just are not meant to be.
Also I wanted to point out that there are some aspects of Islam I do believe in and I think they're great for leading a healthy life. Praying, cleans the soul, fasting, good for health, no pork, also good for health.
So no I will never marry who my parents chose and live my life cleaning and cooking for someone who probably won't even appreciate me. My boyfriend is encouraging me to follow my dreams of becoming a biochemist and I am honestly the happiest I have been in a long time, if that's a crime against Allah then shoot me. I told him I would like it if he learnt about Islam because there are some things we can take from it to become a better person but no I do not believe in a dictator for an all loving god, sorry I just don't.
So get off your high horses and take a look at your own lives before you judge. I read some threads on here from some of the people criticising our relationship when your relationships are in tatters.
It's no wonder Islam gets a bad rep, people come here for advice and get smothered with "advice" which is not advice at all, rather just send me home to my miserable life, yeh cheers for the fantastic "advice".
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
This isn't all that uncommon. There are many 'cultural' Muslims, particularly teenagers - most of them will have nothing Muslim about them apart from their name and the fact they don't eat pork - that's it.
To the OP, obviously what the girl has done is utterly wrong and against Islam, the fact she is staying with you in this way does mean she is living in sin, maybe her iman is low or she had a strained relationship anyway with her family, Allah SWT knows best.
I can understand the reaction of her family, this is a major dishonour and insult to their image in the community and clearly they are going to feel hurt and upset - this is expected. What everyone else has suggested is the best option, look into Islam, learn about it and inshaAllah if it truly opens your heart then embrace this religion and marry her, if however you don't feel you can it would be best if your left her, for the both of you.
Perhaps if you did this, her family would eventually accept you - all I know is that any marriage or relationship, whatever religion or ethnicity you may be, in which there is a lack of family support, will have a rocky foundation. If she and her family completely cut off contact, you have to understand the pain it will cause her for the rest of her life - they're her parents!
Still, I appreciate your concern. I'm pretty sure most boyfriends wouldn't care about such matters and so the fact you are concerned enough to come on here and ask is nice. May God bring you to the truth.
Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, Thabbit Qalbi Ala Deenik
Oh turner of the Hearts make my heart firm on Your Deen
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by ~ Sabr ~
May Allaah Guide you.
Fear Allaah - will you not die and answer to Him?! You think we give a bad name to Muslims? YOU are clearly giving a good name to Muslims, right?!
You're a joke to Islam. You have dishonored Islam and if you have any sense whatsoever, buck up and see the light.
I fear living miserably that is what I fear. From the islamic teachings my parents have taught me I don't even want to be muslim. I believe in god but not a vengeful, spiteful, narcissistic, jealous god who will punish me for all of eternity because I fell in love with a non muslim. Seems utterly ridiculous.
Yes send me negative reputation, don't worry I'm not hanging around. Me and my boyfriend found much better help from /r/exmuslim subreddit. Ironic isn't it, exmuslims actually being of more help and genuine advice than actual muslims. Some of the people in this thread are literally like my parents.
Do this or be disowned.
Do that or be disowned.
What type of life is that to live? If you want to live that way by all means do so. Not me, I prefer to be happy
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by EgyptPrincess
I fear living miserably that is what I fear. From the islamic teachings my parents have taught me I don't even want to be muslim. I believe in god but not a vengeful, spiteful, narcissistic, jealous god who will punish me for all of eternity because I fell in love with a non muslim. Seems utterly ridiculous.
Yes send me negative reputation, don't worry I'm not hanging around. Me and my boyfriend found much better help from /r/exmuslim subreddit. Ironic isn't it, exmuslims actually being of more help and genuine advice than actual muslims. Some of the people in this thread are literally like my parents.
Do this or be disowned.
Do that or be disowned.
What type of life is that to live? If you want to live that way by all means do so. Not me, I prefer to be happy
I'm sorry to say, just because you say you are Muslims and just because you believe in God and his messenger Muhammad SAW, doesn't make you Muslim.
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by Kiro
I'm sorry to say, just because you say you are Muslims and just because you believe in God and his messenger Muhammad SAW, doesn't make you Muslim.
I believe in god and I believe in Muhammed pbuh but I think the Quran isn't accurate at all. If that doesn't make me muslim then I hold my hand up and say I'm not muslim, whatever.
Oh and lastly, for those of you who think I'm being manipulated by an older man or he is taking advantage of me it is quite the opposite.
I say jump, he says yes and how high? So don't get it twisted.
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by EgyptPrincess
I believe in god and I believe in Muhammed pbuh but I think the Quran isn't accurate at all. If that doesn't make me muslim then I hold my hand up and say I'm not muslim, whatever.
Oh and lastly, for those of you who think I'm being manipulated by an older man or he is taking advantage of me it is quite the opposite.
I say jump, he says yes and how high? So don't get it twisted.
Enjoy your lives.
Do whatever you want and most likely you're not Muslim
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by EgyptPrincess
I fear living miserably that is what I fear. From the islamic teachings my parents have taught me I don't even want to be muslim. I believe in god but not a vengeful, spiteful, narcissistic, jealous god who will punish me for all of eternity because I fell in love with a non muslim. Seems utterly ridiculous.
Yes send me negative reputation, don't worry I'm not hanging around. Me and my boyfriend found much better help from /r/exmuslim subreddit. Ironic isn't it, exmuslims actually being of more help and genuine advice than actual muslims. Some of the people in this thread are literally like my parents.
Do this or be disowned.
Do that or be disowned.
What type of life is that to live? If you want to live that way by all means do so. Not me, I prefer to be happy
If you are happy without Islam, you can't even imagine how you will be in the Aakhirah. You will weep tears of blood. You will curse your boyfriend who led you to this.
format_quote Originally Posted by EgyptPrincess
I believe in god and I believe in Muhammed pbuh but I think the Quran isn't accurate at all. If that doesn't make me muslim then I hold my hand up and say I'm not muslim, whatever.
Oh and lastly, for those of you who think I'm being manipulated by an older man or he is taking advantage of me it is quite the opposite.
I say jump, he says yes and how high? So don't get it twisted.
Enjoy your lives.
You call yourself a Muslim but don't believe the Qur'aan.
You call yourself a Muslim but you have no interest in whether your title is Muslim or not. You call yourself a Muslim but don't believe in Allaah's attributes.
What kind of a Muslim are you? Do you even understand what Muslim means?!
Good Luck, you will need it in the Aakhirah. When your eyes open and you will say O Allaah send me back! I will now abide by Your rules! But it will be too late....
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by EgyptPrincess
I fear living miserably that is what I fear. From the islamic teachings my parents have taught me I don't even want to be muslim. I believe in god but not a vengeful, spiteful, narcissistic, jealous god who will punish me for all of eternity because I fell in love with a non muslim. Seems utterly ridiculous.
Yes send me negative reputation, don't worry I'm not hanging around. Me and my boyfriend found much better help from /r/exmuslim subreddit. Ironic isn't it, exmuslims actually being of more help and genuine advice than actual muslims. Some of the people in this thread are literally like my parents.
Do this or be disowned.
Do that or be disowned.
What type of life is that to live? If you want to live that way by all means do so. Not me, I prefer to be happy
So go then, stay together and be happy, your happiness will only last for a few years.
Then when you die, that's when eternity begins, and then you will never taste happiness ever again, rather what awaits you is the everlasting punishment of hell.
Re: My girlfriends parents disowned their daughter
format_quote Originally Posted by Kiro
Do whatever you want and most likely you're not Muslim
You can´t never say this about anyone else no matter what some member writes to here. Only Allah knows kind of matters and the decision who is Muslim and who isn´t belongs to Him only.
It is shocking to read how here is condemning the unknown person. Be supportive rather than condemnatory if you want to change someone´s way to think, believe or live.
Last edited by sister herb; 05-03-2016 at 02:13 PM.
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If you love Allaah, you wouldn't even look at a non Muslim. Khalaas. 
I'm pretty sure most boyfriends wouldn't care about such matters and so the fact you are concerned enough to come on here and ask is nice. May God bring you to the truth.
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