forced to wear hijab

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being_forced

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My fiance is forcing me to wear the hijab. His forcefulness is making me hate it. He wants me to wear the hijab everywhere. Even at our wedding ceremonies. He is a very nice man. But this forcefulness is making me very frustrated. I have started answering him back because i'm not happy from the inside. I'm ready to wear it in my daily routine. Just want to take it off occasionally. I know it's wrong. But i want to. I'm not happy this way. I keep fighting with him. It's really impacting out relationship. I don't know what to do. imsad:(:Emoji10:
 
being_forced said:
My fiance is forcing me to wear the hijab. His forcefulness is making me hate it. He wants me to wear the hijab everywhere. Even at our wedding ceremonies. He is a very nice man. But this forcefulness is making me very frustrated. I have started answering him back because i'm not happy from the inside. I'm ready to wear it in my daily routine. Just want to take it off occasionally. I know it's wrong. But i want to. I'm not happy this way. I keep fighting with him. It's really impacting out relationship. I don't know what to do. imsad:(:Emoji10:
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Salaam sister, I know exactly how it feels to be forced to do something you don't want. You deserve to be happy, tell your husband that you don't need to wear it every second of everyday.

I don't know what else to suggested sister but to stand your ground, this will be the only thing that works. What next when he tells you that you can't do this or can't go there? The forcefulness will surely get worse.
 
Thanku for ur sweet reply. I've tried talking to him about it. But he isn't listening. I love him. Want to make him happy. But this forcefullness is making me extremely unhappy.
 
He is only doing what Allah swt orders, and he is right in wanting you to wear hijab. So honestly, he's only looking out for your own goodness. Do it for Allah, and help him fulfill his responsibilities as a husband.
 
You should want to wear hijab because you want to please Allah and obey him...

Being forced to wear it defeats the purpose. There is a difference between encouraging someone/trying to help someone change/do something, and forcing someone to do something that is not in their heart.
 
crimsontide06 said:
You should want to wear hijab because you want to please Allah and obey him...

Being forced to wear it defeats the purpose. There is a difference between encouraging someone/trying to help someone change/do something, and forcing someone to do something that is not in their heart.
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Ah yes, obedience. We women are slaves to our husbands... I forgot.

This is what I absolutely loath about the thought of getting a Muslim husband :o
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Ah yes, obedience. We women are slaves to our husbands... I forgot.

This is what I absolutely loath about the thought of getting a Muslim husband :o
Click to expand...

brah Muslim husbands have to do stuff for the women like spend on you

if you want food, takeaway that man has to do it

if you want clothes then he has to buy it for you

smh
 
Assalamu alaykum,

Sister, one thing I will say is that he should not be forcing you or pressurising you to do anything, even with matters concerning the Deen to gently advise and guide is the best way to go.

However, I will say the fact he is so concerned (even though he might be going about it the wrong way) is because he feels protective towards you and wants to preserve your honour, and that is a positive thing, isn't it? It is better than some men who use their wives as decorative pieces to show off to society - he is concerned about your Deen, if you look at it from that way it was ill seem better.

SubhanAllah, some sisters struggle so much to be able to wear the hijab, and their families and husbands force them to not wear it, take this as a opportunity to read about this subject a little more. You shouldn't do something because you are forced, and you shouldn't reject it either from not knowing. Try and read up on the position of hijab in Islam, why it is so important and liberating for Muslim women, look up Islamic videos, inshaAllah you'll understand why it is mandated.
 
Kiro said:
brah Muslim husbands have to do stuff for the women like spend on you

if you want food, takeaway that man has to do it

if you want clothes then he has to buy it for you

smh
Click to expand...

You act like women are not capable of feeding or clothing themselves. Let me tell you something, long gone are the days when women was as the man's mercy and just cleaning and cooking and being a housewife.

Women now are going out and getting educations and careers, becoming independent and so don't need to rely on men as much and men hate that... They're so scared that women are becoming less dependant on them.

Obviously things change when we have children because now we must give up our careers to raise the children and in return the husband now provides financially. Men just assume that when you're married they have control over you like a robot lol, no chance mate.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
You act like women are not capable of feeding or clothing themselves. Let me tell you something, long gone are the days when women was as the man's mercy and just cleaning and cooking and being a housewife.

Women now are going out and getting educations and careers, becoming independent and so don't need to rely on men as much and men hate that... They're so scared that women are becoming less dependant on them.

Obviously things change when we have children because now we must give up our careers to raise the children and in return the husband now provides financially. Men just assume that when you're married they have control over you like a robot lol, no chance mate.
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are you a drama queen? i think u misread my post and maybe overeacted

my post just meant, husbands have some rights over the wife and the wife has some rights over the husband

so in some ways, the wife is like the boss ;D
 
Kiro said:
my post just meant, husbands have some rights over the wife and the wife has some rights over the husband
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Yes 1,400 years ago when the Quran was revealed this was the norm. Women are housewives and men bring in the food and provide shelter and security etc. This is not the case any more, times have changed.

I believe a man and a women both have the responsibility to create a stable home where both provide to the best of their ability. They treat each other equally and support each other where it's needed.

A man must do x y and z
A women must a b and c

That is old school hun, get with the times.
 
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EgyptPrincess said:
Ah yes, obedience. We women are slaves to our husbands... I forgot.

This is what I absolutely loath about the thought of getting a Muslim husband :o
Click to expand...

You've gotten Islam and culture mixed. In Islam, one's wife isn't husband's slave. Or vica versa. Both man and woman has the obligation to seek knowledge, to educate themselves.

The Quran is timeless, and its laws fit all times.

both man and woman, are slaves of Allah SWT. And we are commanded to be just to our wives. you talk as if a wife is husband's slaves. Which isn't the case.

If a husband says to wear Hijab, which is a commandment of Allah SWT. If you don't you disobey Allah SWT. But if a husband says to do wrong, and you don't, then you are obeying Allah SWT.

A wife and a husband, afaik, is eachother's garment. They both have rights which suit them best.

May Allah SWT forgive me if I said anything wrong. Ameen.

And Allah SWT knows best.
 
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being_forced said:
My fiance is forcing me to wear the hijab. His forcefulness is making me hate it. He wants me to wear the hijab everywhere. Even at our wedding ceremonies. He is a very nice man. But this forcefulness is making me very frustrated. I have started answering him back because i'm not happy from the inside. I'm ready to wear it in my daily routine. Just want to take it off occasionally. I know it's wrong. But i want to. I'm not happy this way. I keep fighting with him. It's really impacting out relationship. I don't know what to do. imsad:(:Emoji10:
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Why do you want to not wear Hijab?
 
I just need some time to be able to adapt to it. Slowly and gradually. I've already started it. In my daily routine. For when i go to work. And when i go out for my classes. And I'm out for both these things for most part of my day. 7 days a week. I just want to take it off for family occasions and our wedding ceremony.
 
Serinity said:
Why do you want to not wear Hijab?
Click to expand...

I just need some time to be able to adapt to it. Slowly and gradually. I've already started it. In my daily routine. For when i go to work. And when i go out for my classes. And I'm out for both these things for most part of my day. 7 days a week. I just want to take it off for family occasions and our wedding ceremony.
 
Umm Abed said:
He is only doing what Allah swt orders, and he is right in wanting you to wear hijab. So honestly, he's only looking out for your own goodness. Do it for Allah, and help him fulfill his responsibilities as a husband.
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Does Allah order that people have to do this and that because someone force them to do so - like following religion and its rules even when it doesn´t come from their own will and heart? Have it any meaning for Allah then if we do this or that because someone force us to do so? Is there a compulsion in the religion?

If your fiance loves you, he also has to learn to respect you and listen you. Later, in marriage, kind of lesson might be much harder to learn than it is now.
 
Sister herb, we'r not sure if he 'forced' or is just advising her (even though constantly). He's only doing what he's supposed to, so that his wife doesnt walk around bare-headed in public.

If he doesnt do his duty of reminding her and teaching her about Islam then he will be held responsible by Allah. The ayah about there is no compulsion in religion refers to non-muslims - they dont have to accept Islam by force, it is up to them.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
You act like women are not capable of feeding or clothing themselves. Let me tell you something, long gone are the days when women was as the man's mercy and just cleaning and cooking and being a housewife.

Women now are going out and getting educations and careers, becoming independent and so don't need to rely on men as much and men hate that... They're so scared that women are becoming less dependant on them.

Obviously things change when we have children because now we must give up our careers to raise the children and in return the husband now provides financially. Men just assume that when you're married they have control over you like a robot lol, no chance mate.
Click to expand...

Sure, women can work and feed themselves, looking after the financial duties of the house their whole lives, no problem. But remember she is not compelled to do all that in Islam.

In Islam the financial duties lays upon the husband, it will be his responsibility, but if you want to contribute, then do so, it is up to you but you'r doing it voluntarily, not as an Islamic duty.
 
Umm Abed said:
Sister herb, we'r not sure if he 'forced' or is just advising her (even though constantly). He's only doing what he's supposed to, so that his wife doesnt walk around bare-headed in public.

If he doesnt do his duty of reminding her and teaching her about Islam then he will be held responsible by Allah. The ayah about there is no compulsion in religion refers to non-muslims - they dont have to accept Islam by force, it is up to them.
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Reminding me and teaching me is one thing. Forcing is another. There's a difference between both.
 

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