I've ever married for almost 19 years until my wife passed away in 2013 in age 45. Yes, my wife was Muslim woman, but she wore hijab only in the last two years in her life. Actually she started thinking to wear hijab few years before after many women around her started wearing hijab. Her friends often told her that she already dressed modestly, and would be perfect if she wore hijab. But if she needed few years before she wore hijab, it's because I never forced her to wear hijab. I understood what made her hesitate to wear hijab, and I didn’t want to force her.
My wife was beautiful woman. People praised her beauty since she was little girl. She was happy with it. But it also made her grew up as a woman who her confidence really depend on her beauty. That’s why she hesitate to wear hijab. She was afraid, wearing hijab would reduce her beauty. And this is also the cause that make some women hesitate to wear hijab.
Actually my wife started to wear hijab because situation. She was attacked by breast cancer that made her must get chemoteraphy. It made her lost her hair. So she wore hijab although she felt very uncomfortable. Not so long her hair began to grow, and she started to thinking to remove her hijab. But something happened in Sunday afternoon, that made her change her mind and decided to still wear hijab.
I will never forget that afternoon, when I entered our room and I saw her sat in front of mirror. She wore hijab. I noticed her for few moments. She knew it, and she asked me, “Do I look beautiful with hijab?”. I smile and answer, “Yes. You look beautiful with hijab”. She was surprised, and she asked again, “Really?”. I answer by smile and nod. She was thinking for a moment, and asked again while smile, “Do you want me to always look beautiful?”. I laugh because I knew what she want.
So after maghrib we and our children went to Muslima boutique in a mall. I told her to pick few dresses, but she told me, one was enough for that moment, and she would buy again next days. We back to our home. She immediately entered the bedroom, and when she out, she already wore the Muslima dress that she bought. She walked in the family room, smile at me, and asked me by her eyes, “Do I look beautiful?”. And I answer by my smile, “Yes honey. You look so beautiful with hijab”.
That was the moment when my beloved wife decided to wear hijab. She has realized that hijab made her look beautiful. She was sure because she knew it from me, the husband who she loved.
That is the husband must do, assure his wife that hijab make her beautiful. If she feel sure, then she would wear hijab happily.
Yes, women should not be forced. But women should be understood. Try to understand a woman. Then she will love you from the deepest of her heart.
and you don't need to wear hijab if you are in front of your brothers, sisters, father or mother ! Or your female relatives. 