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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 09:19 AM
:sl:

Having trouble getting to school on time? Trying to tell people you hate Marmite, but just can't get through? Had enough of that pesky next-door neighbour's dog taking chunks out of your left buttock every morning?

Fear not! Minaz and I, the Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings, are here to help!

How are we masters, you ask? We are masters of might because Minaz goes through protein shakes like popcorn, is in top athletic form and works out everyday.

And I do sit ups.

We are masters of magic because we can watch those 'Behind the Magic' shows with the Masked Magician and work out how the trick is done before they tell us. Eh? Eh?

And why are we the undisputed champions of Monday Mornings?

Because we get up on time, all the time, every time.

So send us your problems and we'll try our utmost to solve them. Even if we make them worse, at least you'll have a laugh.

Let me adjust that slightly - at least WE will have a laugh. :p

n.b - this thread is in Halal Fun for a reason. If you require serious advice on a topic, go to the Cyber Counselling forum.
Reply

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Batoota
11-04-2005, 09:33 AM
:sl:

Swallows the millions of jokes was going to say, and quietly exits with only this:

if you are starting a corner, keep in mind anything you write can and will ( i guarantee) be made fun of. :P

Good luck,

:w:
Reply

Muezzin
11-04-2005, 09:37 AM
:sl:

And your point is? :p
Reply

Batoota
11-04-2005, 09:40 AM
:sl:

loq. Nothing really...only warning you and adding tremendous amounts of pressure.

:w:
Reply

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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 09:42 AM
:sl:

You're forgetting one very basic thing: we don't actually care if people laugh. :p

C'mon send in some problems! :)
Reply

minaz
11-04-2005, 09:52 AM
I think sister "batoota" is a problem - unleash the hounds Mr Muezzin?
Reply

Muezzin
11-04-2005, 09:56 AM
Nah sister Batoota is cool.

Besides, we can't unleash the hounds. They're not bloodthirsty enough. We fed them too much Pedigree Chum.
Reply

Batoota
11-04-2005, 09:57 AM
:sl:

*My internet suddenly stopped working for a minute! ironically enough! are you sure you didn't unleash the hounds?*

:confused:

:w:
Reply

Muezzin
11-04-2005, 09:58 AM
Minaz! You fed them Caesar didn't you? I told you they hated that stuff!
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minaz
11-04-2005, 10:05 AM
yes, and thankfully it isn't ours
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- Qatada -
11-04-2005, 10:16 AM
hey i need some help!

wa can we do on eid.. instead of hiring a limo and goin wimmy (wilmslow) road?


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
Reply

minaz
11-04-2005, 10:19 AM
hire a rikshaw and go down immy (imraan road) Lahore PK.?
Reply

Muezzin
11-04-2005, 11:26 AM
Don't hire nothin'. Ain't you ever played GTA, dawg?
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baby_muslimah15
11-04-2005, 11:58 AM
Lol, You and Minaz are funny:giggling: ....Hmmm my problem iz, I went 2 eid but got n trouble while I waz there, okay I know this is like a day old now but I'm juss now seeing the thread cuz it was just started......So ummm, how do I get out of trouble Dawg?...Dont worry this aint no big serious problem that might have to make me post in Cyber Counselling......Hollaz

BTW when yall say "WE" get a laugh out of it.......Ahem, does that mean you laugh at our problems or just cuz u couldnt help?
Reply

Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-04-2005, 02:15 PM
:sl:

LOL. Im sitting in the college and luaghing. lol evreyones lookin at me. :smile:
Reply

Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-04-2005, 04:13 PM
:sl:

You guys are the 7 M's :smile:
Reply

Bittersteel
11-04-2005, 04:15 PM
secular humanists and certain bossy and ego maniac "human rights" orgs.Those are my probelms.

:sl:
Reply

Muezzin
11-04-2005, 04:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
Lol, You and Minaz are funny:giggling: ....Hmmm my problem iz, I went 2 eid but got n trouble while I waz there, okay I know this is like a day old now but I'm juss now seeing the thread cuz it was just started......So ummm, how do I get out of trouble Dawg?...Dont worry this aint no big serious problem that might have to make me post in Cyber Counselling......Hollaz
Salaam and/or Hollaz, whatever you crazy cats are saying now :p

How exactly did you get in trouble? If you don't want to tell us, then simply use Muezzin's Simple Trick for Everything: Go and beat up a tramp.

Not only is it sadistically funny, you're also helping the economy!

BTW when yall say "WE" get a laugh out of it.......Ahem, does that mean you laugh at our problems or just cuz u couldnt help?
It means both of those, yet neither of them. ;)

format_quote Originally Posted by Abrar
secular humanists and certain bossy and ego maniac "human rights" orgs.Those are my probelms.
See above answer. I'd like to see what human rights orgs have to say about assaulting random vagrants.
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nafy
11-04-2005, 04:47 PM
now das wat u call quality advice lol ;)
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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 04:56 PM
:sl:

You're damn right.
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nafy
11-04-2005, 05:03 PM
innit bro ;) hehehehe
da LI forums wudnt be da same wivout u 2 bro's....n am bein serious dis tym lol ;D
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Sahabiyaat
11-04-2005, 05:05 PM
:sl:

*sigh*

dnt either of u start an argument with me over my *sighs*'s
u will regret it.
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Bittersteel
11-04-2005, 06:02 PM
I forgot this the halal fun section but I was serious.I have to withstand psychological assaults all the time on some forums.
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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 06:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by muslimahimprovin
dnt either of u start an argument with me over my *sighs*'s
u will regret it.
Once I was sighing too much because I had a chest infection. I went to the doctor, said 'Yo doc, wassup wit me?' and he hooked me up with one o' these babies:



Moin's Chemist - I salute you.

format_quote Originally Posted by Abrar
I forgot this the halal fun section but I was serious.I have to withstand psychological assaults all the time on some forums.
Screw other forums! If anyone has a problem with the way Allah made you, that's their problem not yours.
Reply

nafy
11-04-2005, 06:06 PM
Hahahahaha das funny..............well............not dat funny.....lolz ;)
but im boredddd....so its gud dat u am mekin me laff thnx :)
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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 06:11 PM
:sl:

That's okay sis, it's what we're here for. :)
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Bittersteel
11-04-2005, 06:19 PM
someone should go to whyIslam and see what Islam haters post. :lol:
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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 06:20 PM
Islam haters smell.
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Pinkrose
11-04-2005, 06:40 PM
:sl:

~loooooooool~:giggling: :giggling: :giggling:

Ya'll are soooooooooo funny!! I came down stairs bored to death with nothing to do and subhanallah i ended up laughing my guts out!! Ya'll are so crazy!!

What would we do without U 2? :giggling:

I don't have a problem but if i do i'll be sure to ask!!:peace:

I really needed the laugh!! Thanx!!

:rock:

:w: :rose:
Reply

m_2005
11-04-2005, 06:54 PM
:sl:

Moins Chemist? Had to go there a lot when I did my work experience, and my mate did work experience there, its a funny place
Reply

Shadow
11-04-2005, 07:26 PM
:sl:
wow ive been waiting for something like this to come up and mashAllah it is 2 of the most HILARIOUS BROS in the whole forum
i have a suggestion perhaps, u may turn this duo into a group by adding brother Aamirsaab and Genius to it.
neways heres my problem
(just play along okay?)

i was walking my pet chimp down the road on a sunday midnight when suddenly a group of ppl attacked me with knives and ate my chimp right in fornt of me, then they ran away with my chimp's skull as a trophy
now im depressed because i had tht chimp with me for soo long
like about 10 WHOLE days!!! and it just passed away so quick:'(
i need ur advice on how to get over my chimp disaster
(ps. im not gonna buy another chimp because i spent my last few dollars on cookies)
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Halima
11-04-2005, 07:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Once I was sighing too much because I had a chest infection. I went to the doctor, said 'Yo doc, wassup wit me?' and he hooked me up with one o' these babies:



ermmm...minaz?..LOOL It's called an albuterol inhaler :giggling:
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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 08:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Gandalf
:sl:
wow ive been waiting for something like this to come up and mashAllah it is 2 of the most HILARIOUS BROS in the whole forum
i have a suggestion perhaps, u may turn this duo into a group by adding brother Aamirsaab and Genius to it.
neways heres my problem
(just play along okay?)

i was walking my pet chimp down the road on a sunday midnight when suddenly a group of ppl attacked me with knives and ate my chimp right in fornt of me, then they ran away with my chimp's skull as a trophy
Oh dear. Based on this intel, the assailants sound like these guys. Proceed with caution.

now im depressed because i had tht chimp with me for soo long
like about 10 WHOLE days!!! and it just passed away so quick:'(
i need ur advice on how to get over my chimp disaster
(ps. im not gonna buy another chimp because i spent my last few dollars on cookies)
Nothing will bring your chimp back, son. Fortunately, the same thing can be said of the attackers after their deaths. Here's something to help them on their way.
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Safa
11-04-2005, 08:47 PM
Salam,
Alright, since you are the masters of monday mornings, try n help me out with this one. During the weekends, I usually stay up late studying at night cause I often have exams on Mondays. What do I do to keep awake at night but still be able to wake up early in morning? P.S. coffee doesn't work for me for some reason.
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Muezzin
11-04-2005, 10:22 PM
Two words: Time Travel.

Seriously, I find I can never get to sleep if I think of bald midgets. Way too disturbing.

Conversely, if I think of staying awake, I fall asleep.

Oh, and alarm clocks rule.
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Umm Yoosuf
11-04-2005, 10:40 PM
*Looks around the thread* Muezzin and Minaz <<<<< Funny bunch! Interesting topic keep it up :)
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Brother_Mujahid
11-04-2005, 11:17 PM
nice fan club you two got 'ere

*personally you two jokers suck*

:happy:

errr yah im dead serious
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Hajar
11-04-2005, 11:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Brother_Mujahid
nice fan club you two got 'ere

*personally you two jokers suck*

:happy:

errr yah im dead serious

:sl:

looooooool nah you dont mean that brother otherwish.. why the fuss to write a reply :X

btw interesting Thread brother Muezzin and Minaz :smile:

:w:
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eyes_of_mine
11-05-2005, 12:49 AM
Mashallah it is true what gandolph said u two are the most hilarious bro's on this forum and you always bring out a full hearty laugh from me:peace:
LOL 5 pages I got to catch up now !
:rant:
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Muslimah81
11-05-2005, 12:58 AM
Ok lets see u solve this.......................

A work colleague has a reaaally smell problem right?..............he walks into da room and within seconds theres pesky smell pervading every nook and cranny. Some peoples are like :angry2: , some like::phew some really :mad:
Hes a nice guy, polite and quiet but man the smell is soooo bad! What do you do? tell him and permanantly traumatise da guy or suffer in silence?:angry2:
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Safa
11-05-2005, 01:00 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Two words: Time Travel.

Seriously, I find I can never get to sleep if I think of bald midgets. Way too disturbing.

Conversely, if I think of staying awake, I fall asleep.

Oh, and alarm clocks rule.
Time travelling, who would've thought... True about the alarm clocks but those snooze buttons don't help. Oh well, *off to invent a time travel machine*.

:sl:
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Muslimah81
11-05-2005, 01:01 AM
LOL! i wrotes 'he has a reaally smell problem' and I missed the main word in da description! ..............he has a really BIG smell problem! .......but I guessed u figured that out by now hehe
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Muslimah81
11-05-2005, 01:37 AM
there aint no muslim brothers in the work place to give him deodrant............plus hes not muslim himself - hes an old cockney hospital porter :p anways hows deodrant gonna combat pesky smell? hehe

oh i just remembered theres another guy at work with a really bad halitosis problem ..........i was gonna faint when I had to work around him for a whole day once..............Oh why oh why do i have to work wiv smelly people!?:heated:
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Shadow
11-05-2005, 02:54 AM
people people cant u read the name of the title?
it only includes brother Muezzin and brother Minaz so please stop giving advice for u may misguide the person in need of help :p
i seriously deserve some reps for tht brother Muezzin and brother Minaz, im keeping ur thread safe and under control:aliencool
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baby_muslimah15
11-05-2005, 06:18 AM
Salaam and/or Hollaz, whatever you crazy cats are saying now

How exactly did you get in trouble? If you don't want to tell us, then simply use Muezzin's Simple Trick for Everything: Go and beat up a tramp.

Not only is it sadistically funny, you're also helping the economy!

Okay well you see, I waz ummm...Well i waz getting mad cuz at 1st it was a very sucky eid(and all da lil kidz was running around blowing them lil thingies, so I politely went to their mothers and was like can yall get(YALL DUMB KIDZ) but B4 that I was mad, 4 what dunno(oh yea I remember) The boyz alwayz have moe fun den us and this time we rented a buildin(and it was right across the street from the Musallah(however u spell it) and of course we couldnt go across the strett cuz it would be like we was mixing(So I was ****** the:rant:off) So yep ma mom was like com'on we need to talk(and yep I got hollard at pretty bad) She was like your an embarrassment to this family......So yea thats it.

loooool I thought about betting up a tramp(hell I thought about betting up every1)
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baby_muslimah15
11-05-2005, 06:23 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Once I was sighing too much because I had a chest infection. I went to the doctor, said 'Yo doc, wassup wit me?' and he hooked me up with one o' these babies:



Moin's Chemist - I salute you.


Screw other forums! If anyone has a problem with the way Allah made you, that's their problem not yours.
Ummm...funny, not I really need 1 of those...........But ya'll iz crazy, literally(Yo' doc) I think you've been watching bugs bunny 2 much!!!
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Protected_Diamond
11-05-2005, 06:24 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Gandalf
people people cant u read the name of the title?
it only includes brother Muezzin and brother Minaz so please stop giving advice for u may misguide the person in need of help :p
i seriously deserve some reps for tht brother Muezzin and brother Minaz, im keeping ur thread safe and under control:aliencool
:giggling: :giggling:

lol this is a crazzzzzzy thread
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 01:09 PM
Holy moley this thread has grown overnight!

format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah81
Ok lets see u solve this.......................

A work colleague has a reaaally smell problem right?..............he walks into da room and within seconds theres pesky smell pervading every nook and cranny. Some peoples are like :angry2: , some like::phew some really :mad:
Hes a nice guy, polite and quiet but man the smell is soooo bad! What do you do? tell him and permanantly traumatise da guy or suffer in silence?:angry2:
Buy a can of deodorant and a can of Mace. Tell him if he doesn't wear the deodorant, his eyes will be wearing the Mace.

format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
Okay well you see, I waz ummm...Well i waz getting mad cuz at 1st it was a very sucky eid(and all da lil kidz was running around blowing them lil thingies, so I politely went to their mothers and was like can yall get(YALL DUMB KIDZ) but B4 that I was mad, 4 what dunno(oh yea I remember) The boyz alwayz have moe fun den us and this time we rented a buildin(and it was right across the street from the Musallah(however u spell it) and of course we couldnt go across the strett cuz it would be like we was mixing(So I was pissed theoff) So yep ma mom was like com'on we need to talk(and yep I got hollard at pretty bad) She was like your an embarrassment to this family......So yea thats it.
Squeeze this until the rage departs.

If you're still angry, go and beat up another tramp.
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Zuko
11-05-2005, 01:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Proud ukht
:giggling: :giggling:

lol this is a crazzzzzzy thread
The crazier, the better! :p
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 01:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Brother_Mujahid
nice fan club you two got 'ere

*personally you two jokers suck*

:happy:

errr yah im dead serious
And that is why I love you bro.
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ishkabab
11-05-2005, 02:05 PM
:p :giggling: ok ok............i guess i came in to da right place

well let me tell u almost evernight when im ready to sleep some retarded neighbors that live on top of us start restling above us...its sooo annoying cause there all guys up there n its sooo complicated to put my daughter back to sleep!! we're just about to close our eyes n then u hear THump n Bump n then my cabinets r flyin open n the walls start shaken nmy dughter starts cryin n i feel like going urstairs n to there door n :grumbling ...lol
u know what i mean?......its like a indoor earth quake...lol
sometimes i think man this time im gonna bang on their ceiling..:Evil:
oh so plzzz tell me Dr.Muizzen n Dr. Minaz what shall i do?:? ASAP
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nafy
11-05-2005, 03:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
And that is why I love you bro.

hahaha.......i swear u am ace!!!!
keep it up bro!! u am always puttin a smile on my face....
thnk u :)
Reply

Muezzin
11-05-2005, 03:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ishkabab
:p :giggling: ok ok............i guess i came in to da right place

well let me tell u almost evernight when im ready to sleep some retarded neighbors that live on top of us start restling above us...its sooo annoying cause there all guys up there n its sooo complicated to put my daughter back to sleep!! we're just about to close our eyes n then u hear THump n Bump n then my cabinets r flyin open n the walls start shaken nmy dughter starts cryin n i feel like going urstairs n to there door n :grumbling ...lol
u know what i mean?......its like a indoor earth quake...lol
sometimes i think man this time im gonna bang on their ceiling..:Evil:
oh so plzzz tell me Dr.Muizzen n Dr. Minaz what shall i do?:? ASAP
First try the 'softly softly' approach. Go upstairs and nicely ask them to stop wrestling because you can't sleep.

If they don't listen...

Next time they make a loud thump, make a puddle of a little watered-down ketchup on the ground, jump and land very loudly, and scream at the top of your lungs. Then lie down with your head on the ketchup, screaming, holding a power drill in one hand. With any luck, they'll come running down, see you with your head apparently cracked open and blood seeping from your hair, and then you will shout:

'ARGH! You're too loud! Had to drill it out! HAD TO STOP THE NOISE!' At this point, turn the power drill on to drive home your point. Also maybe smear some of the drill bit with a little bit of ketchup for maximum gore.

Hopefully, this will scare the living crap out of them, traumatise them for life, and they will never, ever, bother you again. :)
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Sahabiyaat
11-05-2005, 03:55 PM
i tried that once wen i was lil
my mum didnt think it was impressive neither was she traumatised
i think it was cuz the ketchup stain took ages to come out :-\

so why is it like today wen my younger brother cums in with fake blood from the joke shop pouring from the side of his face ...my mum scream the house down before realising its not real

am i not precious to her like her boys
does she not love me equally
:enough!: tell me m&m's
IS IT BECAUSE I'M A GIRL....................
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baby_muslimah15
11-05-2005, 04:53 PM
Thanks bro Muezzin!!! Umm, one question(where is Doc Minaz??) is he on a business trip or sumthin(and 4 the tramp thingie) Its just not working anymore, I need sumthin else......Hollaz
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 05:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by muslimahimprovin
i tried that once wen i was lil
my mum didnt think it was impressive neither was she traumatised
i think it was cuz the ketchup stain took ages to come out :-\

so why is it like today wen my younger brother cums in with fake blood from the joke shop pouring from the side of his face ...my mum scream the house down before realising its not real

am i not precious to her like her boys
does she not love me equally
:enough!: tell me m&m's
IS IT BECAUSE I'M A GIRL....................
There's no easy answer to this so I'll just say it: Yes. It is. Don't worry though. I'm sure your mother loves you a very great deal. That, and ketchup just isn't as convicing as fake blood from the joke shop. ;)

format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
Thanks bro Muezzin!!! Umm, one question(where is Doc Minaz??) is he on a business trip or sumthin
Probably.

(and 4 the tramp thingie) Its just not working anymore, I need sumthin else......Hollaz
Well you could always go to ponds where little old ladies are feeding the ducks... and jump in screaming 'I love you Donald!' It might dissipate the stress a bit.

Then again, you might get arrested.
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baby_muslimah15
11-05-2005, 05:39 PM
If I get arrested(your goin down wit me)loool, But jumping in the pond sounds kind kool(imma give that a thought and a try)
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minaz
11-05-2005, 08:48 PM
Umm, one question(where is Doc Minaz??) is he on a business trip or sumthin
Lol sorry guys not been home for last 2 days, p.s. rumours that i was kicked out because of that 15 year old pregnant girl aren't true. Anywho this thread has grown enormously, lol reminds me of the film "Evolution" - ("ice queen" :p).

Posted by Halima
ermmm...minaz?..LOOL It's called an albuterol inhaler
Ermmm Muezzin posted that, can't you tell he's the fatter one out of us two! and his aesthma is not a result of him smoking

posted bydesert roze
Salam,Alright, since you are the masters of monday mornings, try n help me out with this one. During the weekends, I usually stay up late studying at night cause I often have exams on Mondays. What do I do to keep awake at night but still be able to wake up early in morning? P.S. coffee doesn't work for me for some reason.
Take up smoking

posted bymuslimah81
Ok lets see u solve this.......................
A work colleague has a reaaally smell problem right?..............he walks into da room and within seconds theres pesky smell pervading every nook and cranny. Some peoples are like , some like: some really
Hes a nice guy, polite and quiet but man the smell is soooo bad! What do you do? tell him and permanantly traumatise da guy or suffer in silence?
He needs to disguise the smell, tell him to take up smoking

posted by gandalf
i seriously deserve some reps for tht brother Muezzin and brother Minaz, im keeping ur thread safe and under control
I'll give you a couple of fags if ya want?

posted by baby_muslimah15
So yep ma mom was like com'on we need to talk(and yep I got hollard at pretty bad) She was like your an embarrassment to this family
Think of that as a posotive, now your an "embarrassment" you might aswell exploit that by taking up smoking

posted by ishkabab
well let me tell u almost evernight when im ready to sleep some retarded neighbors that live on top of us start restling above us...its sooo annoying cause there all guys up there n its sooo complicated to put my daughter back to sleep!! we're just about to close our eyes n then u hear THump n Bump n then my cabinets r flyin open n the walls start shaken nmy dughter starts cryin
your child seems stressed because of these neighbours from hell, and we all now what relieves you from stress - have a smoke

Also rumours that I have taken shares in Marlboro are false
Reply

nafy
11-05-2005, 08:54 PM
Lol!!!! Hahahahahahahaha......
Swear Man.........u 2 Shud Be On Stage!!!! ;)
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Halima
11-05-2005, 09:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by minaz
Ermmm Muezzin posted that, can't you tell he's the fatter one out of us two! and his aesthma is not a result of him smoking
Do you always get bullied upon?
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 09:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Halima
Do you always get bullied upon?
If you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of thousands of tiny violins lamenting my plight.
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minaz
11-05-2005, 09:07 PM
yep and a lil extremist alien in his ear whispering "intifaada, intifaada"
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 09:08 PM
That's Tony.

Reeeedruuuum.

Ahem. Anymore problems?
Reply

Protected_Diamond
11-05-2005, 09:11 PM
asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabarakthu

im getting spot's on my forehead what shall i do? :(

*sniffs*

walakumasalaam warhmatulahi wabarakthu
Reply

minaz
11-05-2005, 09:13 PM
what's my answer to everything
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Protected_Diamond
11-05-2005, 09:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by minaz
what's my answer to everything
ummmmm? :rolleyes:
Reply

Muezzin
11-05-2005, 09:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Proud ukht
asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabarakthu

im getting spot's on my forehead what shall i do? :(

*sniffs*

walakumasalaam warhmatulahi wabarakthu
Stay away from these, invest in this, and wear this
Reply

Far7an
11-05-2005, 09:15 PM
Assalamu alaikum

We have a sudden surge of chavs joining the forum, I am beggining to think they look up to Muezzin and Minaz, how can we deal with this?
Reply

Muezzin
11-05-2005, 09:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Far7an
Assalamu alaikum

We have a sudden surge of chavs joining the forum, I am beggining to think they look up to Muezzin and Minaz, how can we deal with this?
Brick their windows. The Chavs' I mean. We have double glazing.
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Protected_Diamond
11-05-2005, 09:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Stay away from these, invest in this, and wear this


asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabarakthu

:giggling: cheeky, i don't believe in this spotty product (hehe), chips is the highlights of my day and a cap for a muslim girl?? hmmm? no thanks but jazahka Allah lol, and that would look funny to beacuse i wear a hijaab. :eek:

walakumasalaam warhmatulahi wabarakthu
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Halima
11-05-2005, 09:19 PM
Any solution to getting rid of fish and chips?
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minaz
11-05-2005, 09:20 PM
don't worry those female suicide bombers wear those black baseball caps under their scarves as shown in their mission briefing tapes - and they don't feel funny
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 09:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Proud ukht

asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabarakthu

:giggling: cheeky, i don't believe in this spotty product (hehe),
Oh, but I do. :p

chips is the highlights of my day
Chips are your highlights? That must make your hair kinda greasy. :p

nd a cap for a muslim girl?? hmmm? no thanks but jazahka Allah lol, and that would look funny to beacuse i wear a hijaab. :eek:

walakumasalaam warhmatulahi wabarakthu
So? Start a new trend!
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minaz
11-05-2005, 09:23 PM
cuz the kufaar eat them and we shouldn't immitate the kufaar
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 09:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Halima
Any solution to getting rid of fish and chips?
Burn them, burn them, BURN THEM ALL! AHAHAHAHAHA!

...sorry, I usually drink decaf.
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Protected_Diamond
11-05-2005, 09:26 PM
asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabaarkthu

Oh, but I do. :p
hmmmm....are you talking from experience bro? :X

Chips are your highlights? That must make your hair kinda greasy. :p
no not really lol

So? Start a new trend!
no thanks lol..that's crazy o well jazahka Allah khair for your mastermind solution's, you forgot to mention drink loads of water...grrrr!!! lol

walakumasalaam warhmatulahi wabaarkthu
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- Qatada -
11-05-2005, 09:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by minaz
cuz the kufaar eat them and we shouldn't immitate the kufaar
kafirz go on forumz too! :eek:


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
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Muezzin
11-05-2005, 09:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Proud ukht
asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabaarkthu
hmmmm....are you talking from experience bro? :X
I'm talking from experience...

...of holding Clearasil shares. :p

format_quote Originally Posted by akhee
kafirz go on forumz too!
This argument doesn't just fail, it phails* because:

1) Kafirs wake up in the morning too
2) Kafirs go to the toilet too
3) Kafirs eat breakfast too
4) Kafirs walk too
5) Kafirs get run over by random buses being driven by gun-toting maniacs too, in certain comedy-horror movies.

*some sort of Internet slang, I dunno.
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minaz
11-05-2005, 09:49 PM
Proud ukht on a serious note, yeh if you live in the UK "Boots" are doing 3 for 2 on Clearasil items (also L’oreal, Colgate, and many others) best ones are the cleaning wipes (use 2 a day) or alternatively use the conditioner (twice a day and it lasts longer). But if you want to get rid of the spots immediately use the "Clearasil pen" (approx £4.50) but I guarantee you they will disappear within 2 days. It's all good getting rid of spots but you have to maintain your face as well, so use the conditioner daily and do drink a lot of water. If you follow these simple instructions you'll gain a soft face like a baby's bum - just as I posses :okay:
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baby_muslimah15
11-05-2005, 11:45 PM
Okay Bro Muezzin your help is really appricated(but I think she needs sum helpful gurl advice) Proud Ukht....Maybe you should try ProActive I hear it really works, mashaAllah I dont need it, but sum of my family and friends, have tryed it, but it takes awhile to you know clear(or you can try sum other facial thingie product)....Now heres my problem, I wanted 2 go 2 da movies, but I was told I couldnt go(what do I do) and dont think about sayin go beat up a tramp!
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Shadow
11-06-2005, 04:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
Okay Bro Muezzin your help is really appricated(but I think she needs sum helpful gurl advice)
ahem exuse me maam but this isnt the girly advice corner
this is the man house of the 2 cool dudes
and featuring Gandalf as police of this thread
so im keeping the thread safe from hostile intrusion
and therefore i must ask u to step away from the keyboard and stop giving girly advice on the magic and might masters corner
peace out sista

(ps. dont neg rep me for wht i do, im merely a crime stopper:p)
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baby_muslimah15
11-06-2005, 09:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Gandalf
ahem exuse me maam but this isnt the girly advice corner
this is the man house of the 2 cool dudes
and featuring Gandalf as police of this thread
so im keeping the thread safe from hostile intrusion
and therefore i must ask u to step away from the keyboard and stop giving girly advice on the magic and might masters corner
peace out sista

(ps. dont neg rep me for wht i do, im merely a crime stopper:p)
Excuse me.....But I dont think they made you da police(so you know) Uhh back away from da computer, Okay I have a new problem(it is Gandalf)
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 11:12 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
Okay Bro Muezzin your help is really appricated(but I think she needs sum helpful gurl advice) Proud Ukht....Maybe you should try ProActive I hear it really works, mashaAllah I dont need it, but sum of my family and friends, have tryed it, but it takes awhile to you know clear(or you can try sum other facial thingie product)....Now heres my problem, I wanted 2 go 2 da movies, but I was told I couldnt go(what do I do) and dont think about sayin go beat up a tramp!
If your parents told you not to go, then there's nothing I can do about it since we have to obey our parents. Sorry. :embarrass

Excuse me.....But I dont think they made you da police(so you know) Uhh back away from da computer, Okay I have a new problem(it is Gandalf)
No having problems with other members please, or we'll have to make people stand in the corner. Besides, we all love baseball bat-wielding vigilantes.

why did this thread gain 11 pages?????????????????????
Why did you use so many question marks?

And to answer your question in the form of a question: Why not? :p
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ishkabab
11-06-2005, 04:27 PM
LOLOLOLOL..................u guys...r da best........
i tried that ketchup thingi n it worked...
Yeh right u crazy????.............i aint tryin that .........
n NO smoking is not the solution here..........we got addicts up here in this thread....thas it i think i got my own solution here !!!>>>>>>"hunny its time to take out dat bebe gun".........take out da pellets were takin em down tonight...............lol..................or we can wait n see if these nice gentle men have any more solutinos there???...M&M anything yet???
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 04:40 PM
or we can wait n see if these nice gentle men have any more solutinos there???...M&M anything yet???
To paraphrase a friend from uni: We don't do gentle solutions. We do knives 'n' guns. :p
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nafy
11-06-2005, 04:43 PM
i got a problem :(
i've lost nemo :( HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ;)
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 04:44 PM
Maybe this book will help:

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ishkabab
11-06-2005, 04:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
To paraphrase a friend from uni: We don't do gentle solutions. We do knives 'n' guns. :p
so ur sayin to stick we the bebe guns?:skeleton:
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nafy
11-06-2005, 04:46 PM
lol.........thnx bro.......i'll get bak 2 u wen i find ma nemo :) ;)
u betta hope dis book helps............4 ur sake lol hehehe ;)
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 07:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ishkabab
so ur sayin to stick we the bebe guns?:skeleton:
Erm... I'm saying do what you like as long as you don't incriminate me and get me arrested. :)

format_quote Originally Posted by nafy
lol.........thnx bro.......i'll get bak 2 u wen i find ma nemo
u betta hope dis book helps............4 ur sake lol hehehe
I'm quaking in my pyjamas :p :)
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 07:09 PM
i've got a problem...how do i get out of going to school on monday morning(2moz!!!)
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 07:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
i've got a problem...how do i get out of going to school on monday morning(2moz!!!)
Fake your death and move to Brazil, after making offshore bank accounts and purchasing shares in the following companies: Microsoft, Sony, Rockstar Games and Lucasfilm.

In a couple of years, you will have amassed a small fortune. But always remember to check the Dow Jones or you're screwed tighter than a cookie jar.
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 07:16 PM
yeah rite.....im dieingggggggggg...not really...but like missed 4 weeks of school coz was in hospital....and now i find out i have a stinking geography test 2moz and i find out wot the night before the exam...great friends i have.......:mad:
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- Qatada -
11-06-2005, 07:16 PM
how would she get money fo the ticket..


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 07:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
yeah rite.....im dieingggggggggg...not really...but like missed 4 weeks of school coz was in hospital....and now i find out i have a stinking geography test 2moz and i find out wot the night before the exam...great friends i have.......:mad:
Tell your teachers your situation and I'm sure they'll give you an extension or something.

Failing that, skive.

Failing that, bmibaby.com has really cheap flights.
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 07:18 PM
hey i can pay for the ticket coz my folks are making me dish out for going hajj....so the moneys not a problem i have that....
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 07:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
hey i can pay for the ticket coz my folks are making me dish out for going hajj....so the moneys not a problem i have that....
So why delay? Go for hajj today!

...then just stay there.
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 07:19 PM
the problem is the teacher is new and doesnt know i have diabetes

uh y did i mention i had diabetes...ooopss....i need a maharim to go to hajj!!!and its not like im married!!
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 07:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
the problem is the teacher is new and doesnt know i have diabetes
Have you tried telling her/him?

And if you have a brother, go hajj with him.

...then still just stay there.
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 07:23 PM
i think im getting on your nerves...yeah i have a bro...hes six:giggling: and i would go with him.....ill try telling the teacher tomorrow....i guess now i might aswell sit and revise....
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 07:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
i think im getting on your nerves...yeah i have a bro...hes six:giggling: and i would go with him.....ill try telling the teacher tomorrow....i guess now i might aswell sit and revise....
Yup, revise! A great plan! Wish I'd thought of it.
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 07:29 PM
um yeah he's my mahram...but he cant come with me coz hes immature.....he cries like in newborn kid.....and bro muezzin revising....why you never mentioned it...because its not an option...nice way to get rid of me tho...ill shut up now...dont want to make enimies....y do i still have to go school....!
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minaz
11-06-2005, 08:12 PM
moneys not a problem
Oh "lardy-da", listen up lady (sapphire), seeing as money isn't an issue we wanna get paid for all this help we're giving you:
how do i get out of going to school on monday morning
was in hospital
stinking geography test 2moz
great friends i have.......:mad:
problem is the teacher is new
i have diabetes
its not like im married
i need a maharim to go to hajj
he cant come with me coz hes immature
i think im getting on your nerves
No bloody crap lady doesn't sound like your orderig a pizza! Jeez Lousie you've got more issues than MJ! Make all cheques payable to "Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings Inc"

Thank you come again
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 08:13 PM
lol....nd i was just about to say hey good job u've comeon bro minaz as bro muezzin dissapeared....
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DaSangarTalib
11-06-2005, 08:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Proud ukht
asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabarakthu

im getting spot's on my forehead what shall i do? :(

*sniffs*

walakumasalaam warhmatulahi wabarakthu
u looking in the wrong place for help, i think you need advance medical attention :X
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minaz
11-06-2005, 08:18 PM
hey hey both me and muezzin come from a medical background
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DaSangarTalib
11-06-2005, 08:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by minaz
hey hey both me and muezzin come from a medical background
ADVANCE medical background? :?
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 08:20 PM
yeah sureee...as for the money...u do my injections and blood test (eight times a day) and you get it...
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minaz
11-06-2005, 08:22 PM
sorry I can't get caught with needles again or my parole is violated
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 08:26 PM
ya sure...
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Shadow
11-06-2005, 09:06 PM
i got a major crisis guys
i need professional help for this
today i went to the cookie jar to eat some cookies
and to my surprise there were NO COOKIES LEFT!!!:eek:

and to top tht up i cundt even see a cookie jar!!!!!
:ooh:

im depressed now
first it was my pet chimp and now my cookies?
wht is going on guys?
help me out here brother
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 09:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ~ BaDmA$H ~
ADVANCE medical background? :?
Well, we were both delivered by qualified doctors in the Royal Infirmary.

format_quote Originally Posted by Gandalf
i got a major crisis guys
i need professional help for this
today i went to the cookie jar to eat some cookies
and to my surprise there were NO COOKIES LEFT!!!

and to top tht up i cundt even see a cookie jar!!!!!


im depressed now
first it was my pet chimp and now my cookies?
wht is going on guys?
help me out here brother
Jabba the Hutt ate your cookies. If you wish to know how I know this, you must first have seen the movie 'The Gift'. In any case, you must find the vile slug and beat him to within an inch of his fat life until he turns over all his accounts to you - then once more you will rule the Galaxy. And you shall have... cookies.
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 09:15 PM
No bloody crap lady doesn't sound like your orderig a pizza! Jeez Lousie you've got more issues than MJ! Make all cheques payable to "Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings Inc"

Thank you come again[/QUOTE]


sooo how much would you guys likeeeeee??
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 09:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
No bloody crap lady doesn't sound like your orderig a pizza! Jeez Lousie you've got more issues than MJ! Make all cheques payable to "Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings Inc"

Thank you come again
sooo how much would you guys likeeeeee??
We'll make it nice and convenient. Just write us a blank cheque - we'll do the rest :happy:
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sapphire
11-06-2005, 09:18 PM
ohhhh...gettin greedy now are we???tut tut....RUN AWAY EVERYONE...THESE GUYS (OR GALS...AGONY AUNTS!) ARE OUT TO GET YOUR MONEYYYYYYYYYYY

Jokes Mind Dont Take The Agony Aunts To Seriously
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Muezzin
11-06-2005, 09:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
ohhhh...gettin greedy now are we???tut tut....RUN AWAY EVERYONE...THESE GUYS (OR GALS...AGONY AUNTS!) ARE OUT TO GET YOUR MONEYYYYYYYYYYY
No, we accept donations. There's a difference.

No job is too big. No donation is too big.

Jokes Mind Dont Take The Agony Aunts To Seriously
The term 'Agony Person' is more politically correct.

That and Minaz said I'd get killed if I called us 'Agony Pakis'. Damn.
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- Qatada -
11-06-2005, 09:24 PM
lolll you two should have named yourselvz:

Muftiz Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic, and Monday Mornings :p loll

it suits the Mu and the i + z in your names.


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
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Zuko
11-06-2005, 09:26 PM
This thread has so many replies every day, its hard to keep up!

Okay I have a problem docs... You see there's this really, really annoying girl in school. Everytime she sees me, she screams and does the whole hugging and kissing business and expects me to listen to her whole life's story... EVERYDAY, after every class! Running away is no help... I sprained my ankle while running away from her once and it was horrible. Plus, she thinks we're 'buddies'. How do I get her away from me for good? :heated:
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eyes_of_mine
11-06-2005, 10:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
No, we accept donations. There's a difference.

No job is too big. No donation is too big.


The term 'Agony Person' is more politically correct.

That and Minaz said I'd get killed if I called us 'Agony Pakis'. Damn.

:giggling: :giggling: :giggling:


Dear Agony Person's
My terrible secret is killing me :enough!:
I have a dog, not just any dog but a BIG BLACK DOG and I have to walk her 3 times a day in my hijab , I try not to look like she belongs to me but she wont stop following me.
I tryed to disguise her as a donkey one day by sticking a pair of false teeth in her mouth but it did not fool anyone.

How can I disguise the fact that I am a muslimah with a big black dog ?
She is a gaurd dog but in putting potential burgulars off Its really putting potential husbands off :mad: :mad:
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F.Y.
11-07-2005, 08:36 AM
OK, I or should I say , we, have a problem here in Australia. For every person there are two kangaroos. They are damaging the farmer's crops - they seem to be a serious pest.
What do you suggest should be done about these guys? Farmers give permission for people to go and hunt/shoot on their farms.
Do you agree?
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Muezzin
11-07-2005, 09:09 AM
This thread has so many replies every day, its hard to keep up!
How do you think we feel? :p

format_quote Originally Posted by Aalimah
Okay I have a problem docs... You see there's this really, really annoying girl in school. Everytime she sees me, she screams and does the whole hugging and kissing business and expects me to listen to her whole life's story... EVERYDAY, after every class! Running away is no help... I sprained my ankle while running away from her once and it was horrible. Plus, she thinks we're 'buddies'. How do I get her away from me for good? :heated:
I'll give you Minaz's parents' home address. It's about time he got hitched.

format_quote Originally Posted by eyes of mine
Dear Agony Person's
My terrible secret is killing me
I have a dog, not just any dog but a BIG BLACK DOG and I have to walk her 3 times a day in my hijab , I try not to look like she belongs to me but she wont stop following me.
I tryed to disguise her as a donkey one day by sticking a pair of false teeth in her mouth but it did not fool anyone.

How can I disguise the fact that I am a muslimah with a big black dog ?
She is a gaurd dog but in putting potential burgulars off Its really putting potential husbands off
Do as so:

Simply put a large, painted blue garbage can over it. With any luck, they won't think it's a dog at all, but instead R2 D2. And no potential husband can resist a practicing lady with her very own astromech droid. For best effects, teach the dog to beep. And don't tell me it's impossible - if it can catch a frisbee, it can learn to beep.

format_quote Originally Posted by F.Y.
OK, I or should I say , we, have a problem here in Australia. For every person there are two kangaroos. They are damaging the farmer's crops - they seem to be a serious pest.
What do you suggest should be done about these guys? Farmers give permission for people to go and hunt/shoot on their farms.
Do you agree?
I don't agree with shooting. I do agree with using these:



'What's that Skip? Someone knocked you the hell out?'

format_quote Originally Posted by bro mujahid
Oh my days this threads grown massive over the span of one day, theres too much to read in so short time, looks like its evident that the minaz/muezzin fan clubs increasingly growing.
I know. We should start making T-shirts.
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Bittersteel
11-07-2005, 01:41 PM
I can't become a true Jedi Knight.
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Far7an
11-07-2005, 01:48 PM
Assalamu alaikum

I invited two brothers to the masjid on Sunday, they never came, I want to do something really mean to them, any ideas?
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Ameeratul Layl
11-07-2005, 01:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Far7an
Assalamu alaikum

I invited two brothers to the masjid on Sunday, they never came, I want to do something really mean to them, any ideas?

:sl:

Shove their heads down the loo.
Naaa....its not nice....

why do u wna do sumthing horrid anyway?
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Far7an
11-07-2005, 01:52 PM
Assalamu alaikum


why do u wna do sumthing horrid anyway?
Minaz and Muezzin will know why :-\
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Bittersteel
11-07-2005, 01:56 PM
I always get ignored!!!
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Muezzin
11-07-2005, 02:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abrar
I can't become a true Jedi Knight.
You just need to build your own lightsaber - and now you can!

format_quote Originally Posted by far7an
I invited two brothers to the masjid on Sunday, they never came, I want to do something really mean to them, any ideas?
What would be really mean is to not listen to their reason. Which was, in both cases, coursework. :)

format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
There is no harm sharing it with me....go on bro.....tell me....
Top-secret Bro's Forum business. MI5-classified. Or something.

I always get ignored!!!
I'm sorry, did you say something?
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Bittersteel
11-07-2005, 03:50 PM
* lightsabers switches on.Kills Muezzin.Joins the dark side*.
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Halima
11-07-2005, 04:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Proud ukht
asalamualykum warhmatulahi wabarakthu

wow!! sis you don't know what you missing!! hmmmm lol :happy1:

walakumasalaam warhmatulahi wabarakthu

May I ask, how do they make them? I wouldn't eat any object that have not tasted or heard of before. Don't mind me, I'm just picky like that. :statisfie
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Halima
11-07-2005, 04:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

Well, u should go out there then sis.....and eat to ur hearts content.:playing:

I have to know the content of what I'm eating before i eat it first! ;D

format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl: Ull soon find out wen u've bitten into it.....leave it a surprise sis. :giggling:

* Hides her face and giggles *

I mean come'on now..what if someone had put poison or something in your food and you've just taken a huge bite to it? You would die before you can actually know what happend! :hmm: Funny thing, is that it actually happend to a person before. This guy had some enemies but he really thought they were his friends. They wanted to kill him..so they put poison into his food.


Where's the 2 stooges? I DEMAND a solution to this problem :okay:
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Rabi'ya
11-07-2005, 04:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Halima
May I ask, how do they make them? I wouldn't eat any object that have not tasted or heard of before. Don't mind me, I'm just picky like that. :statisfie
omg !!! food :giggling: is that what we talking about?! i think im starving!!! i think i want roti with saag!!! omg.....whos cooking :rolleyes: send me food!!!

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
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Muezzin
11-07-2005, 05:28 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abrar
* lightsabers switches on.Kills Muezzin.Joins the dark side*.
*Sidious mode* he's still alive...

:p

Anyway, fish and chips are available from all good erm.. fish and chip shops. Such as East Park Chippy, or Grimsby Fisheries. Goodness knows where you get them in the States though.

Anymore problems to solve? The poison one doesn't really count because:

a) I laughed

and b) it's already happened.
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nafy
11-07-2005, 05:31 PM
lol
oh yeh bro.....i found ma nemo by da way ;)
oh n i got anova problem........
c da thing is yeh......i fink im goin mad......
whereva i luk..........i c chocolate..........
chocolate ppl, chocoalte trees, chocolate houses........
i need 2 stop b4 its 2 late!! b4 i accidentlly grab at sum1 lol
HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPP
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Muezzin
11-07-2005, 05:36 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nafy_luvz_u
lol
oh yeh bro.....i found ma nemo by da way ;)
oh n i got anova problem........
c da thing is yeh......i fink im goin mad......
whereva i luk..........i c chocolate..........
chocolate ppl, chocoalte trees, chocolate houses........
i need 2 stop b4 its 2 late!! b4 i accidentlly grab at sum1 lol
HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPP
Next time you think you see chocolate people, close your eyes and imagine that they're made of these instead.

I don't think you'll take a bite out of that.
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nafy
11-07-2005, 05:40 PM
lol.........ur rite Doc hehehe ;)
u shud be gettin paid 4 dis lol hahaha ;)
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Bittersteel
11-07-2005, 05:40 PM
I wanna get rich and married!!Help!!!
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Muezzin
11-07-2005, 05:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abrar
I wanna get rich and married!!Help!!!
Don't we all? :p

Google 'Islamic Marriage' and see what comes up.

As for getting rich, move to Brazil and start a lucrative business selling tires. Then stage a hostile takeover of Goodyear. You'll be set for life.
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Halima
11-07-2005, 06:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
omg !!! food :giggling: is that what we talking about?! i think im starving!!! i think i want roti with saag!!! omg.....whos cooking :rolleyes: send me food!!!

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

Ask erm Dr.muzzein and erm..what's his other name? ermm....Dr.Minaz They can find a solution by cooking for us. :giggling: They can cook us some roti and saag along with fish and chips. How does that sound?
Reply

Muezzin
11-07-2005, 08:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Halima
Ask erm Dr.muzzein and erm..what's his other name? ermm....Dr.Minaz They can find a solution by cooking for us. :giggling: They can cook us some roti and saag along with fish and chips. How does that sound?



:p
Reply

minaz
11-07-2005, 09:43 PM
They can cook us some roti and saag
Sorry we aren't acquainted with Paki food
along with fish and chips
But this we are!
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- Qatada -
11-07-2005, 09:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by minaz
hey hey hey, don't let the Burberry hats and our many illegitimate kyds fool ya
:sl: warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

tut tut..


The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment. (24:02)
Reply

minaz
11-07-2005, 09:58 PM
you should meet Muezzin's kyds lil wayne and jodie they're so cute!
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Brother_Mujahid
11-07-2005, 10:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
:omg3: i didn't know bro muezzin was married...:hmm2:
the brother was joking :ooh:

the day he gets married the madness on LI will be eliminated.......... Not that im making any links between any slight possibility that minaz or muezzin may be linked to this madness. :aliencool
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Brother_Mujahid
11-07-2005, 10:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by sapphire
IM JOKING MIND....i mite send the cheque one day....dont take anything too seriously.....i best shut up...soz....go abit ltp sumtyms...just kinda annoyed...ah forget it...gettin lost...
try asking m & m for directions if your lost

my advise is go get some sleep and refrain from posting any further on LI untill you have done so. :cool2:
Reply

minaz
11-07-2005, 10:53 PM
annoyed hey, please share your peronal feelings
Reply

Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-07-2005, 10:55 PM
:sl:

M&m's lol. love that lol.
Reply

Zuko
11-07-2005, 11:05 PM
I'm all out of candy, and I'm craving caramel, but I finished my latte and all caramel candies in the house... What do I do now? I need SUGAR! And let me add, my dad's banned any sweet stuff so I'm stuck...
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sapphire
11-07-2005, 11:09 PM
u need sugar to get u away from the stress of ^^same as whats up with me???
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minaz
11-07-2005, 11:09 PM
ask sapphire for some, she's got plenty, especially next to her insulin shots
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Zuko
11-07-2005, 11:10 PM
insulin shots? I don't need sugar, I want it! :( btw I odn't know where she lives! :(
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sapphire
11-07-2005, 11:11 PM
oh bro minaz havent forgotten me???interesting...yeah sis alimah...u can have as much as u like i got loadz...

take glycagon shots....oh i feel like eating chocolate.....

u donno where i live....hmmm....ill just send u a cheque like i shud be to bro minaz then u can get what u want.....
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minaz
11-07-2005, 11:17 PM
then u can get what u want.....
diabetes please
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sapphire
11-07-2005, 11:18 PM
i cant believeeeeee u asked for that...man u dunno how life is....be thankful u dont have it...honest...hard life....

ur funny...nice to know u have a sense off humour and just dont make urself look silly....
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Muhammad
11-08-2005, 12:16 AM
:sl:

Polite Notice

Members are reminded that off-topic free posting is not allowed, and that this corner belongs to Minaz and Muezzin, hence other views are not appreciated by them, and I quote: it's a "totalitarianism" thing.

Therefore please avoid making the thread unnecessarily long which would result in posts being deleted.

Jazakallahu Khayr,

:w:
Reply

Far7an
11-08-2005, 08:46 AM
Assaalamu alaikum

Excellent. (You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Muhammad again.)

What would be really mean is to not listen to their reason. Which was, in both cases, coursework.
You're right.

Ok, In our university as you know very well, there tends to be alot of freemixing, what would be a good way to approach a bro? Bearing in mind we don't want to hurt his feelings or embarras him.
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Muezzin
11-08-2005, 04:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muhammad
:sl:

Polite Notice

Members are reminded that off-topic free posting is not allowed, and that this corner belongs to Minaz and Muezzin, hence other views are not appreciated by them, and I quote: it's a "totalitarianism" thing.

Therefore please avoid making the thread unnecessarily long which would result in posts being deleted.

Jazakallahu Khayr,

:w:
Yes, to Muhammad you listen. The cave. Remeber your failure at the cave!

...sorry, Yoda moment. Seriously, let's try to keep this um, 'on-topic' i.e. we'll solve your problems. It's not that we want to be evil dictators (Minaz does though :p), we just don't want to bring the board to its knees with stuff that's off-topic in a thread whose very existence is already pushing it :p

format_quote Originally Posted by Far7an
Ok, In our university as you know very well, there tends to be alot of freemixing, what would be a good way to approach a bro? Bearing in mind we don't want to hurt his feelings or embarras him.
The best way would be to approach said bro at Jumu'ah, since he is working on even more stinkin' coursework. :)

I'm all out of candy, and I'm craving caramel, but I finished my latte and all caramel candies in the house... What do I do now? I need SUGAR! And let me add, my dad's banned any sweet stuff so I'm stuck...
Breathe deeply.

Deeper.

Deeper still.

That's the spirit.

Now hold it. Hold it!

Count to twenty.

Don't pass out.

That's it...

And repeat. Getting high on oxygen is fun and at least semi-legal. :)
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minaz
11-08-2005, 06:40 PM
do you have any problems at all hajar?
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Hajar
11-08-2005, 06:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by minaz
do you have any problems at all hajar?

come to think of it....
next week I have exams and Im already revising but still i dont think im gonna make it on time.. So tell me what is the best way to cheat on an exam.. and tell me how you guys do it.. so that it will work for a 100%

:w:
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minaz
11-08-2005, 06:47 PM
come to think of it....
next week I have exams and Im already revising but still i dont think im gonna make it on time.. So tell me what is the best way to cheat on an exam.. and tell me how you guys do it.. so that it will work for a 100%
Ok here's a trick I used for my exams before the summer, well you should be allowed water bottles into your exam, so what I did was write critical stuff down on the inside of the label and restuck it. Lol and I got into University lats month just fine! So as my motto goes - "IF IT'S IN THE GAME IT'S IN THE GAME"
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Muezzin
11-08-2005, 06:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hajar
come to think of it....
next week I have exams and Im already revising but still i dont think im gonna make it on time.. So tell me what is the best way to cheat on an exam.. and tell me how you guys do it.. so that it will work for a 100%

:w:
You'll have to go back! Back... to the future!
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Muezzin
11-08-2005, 06:52 PM
Okay, seriously, moving swiftly on...

Any other problems? :)
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Muezzin
11-08-2005, 06:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hajar
Ok thanks I will try that :giggling: .. but what if it doesnt work and I get caught....?
Then use the Flux Capacitor and go back in time, Doc!
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minaz
11-08-2005, 06:54 PM
lol i used it for about 90% of my exams and I got on fine
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minaz
11-08-2005, 09:31 PM
well i don't see it as cheating. I mean I see the examination process in a bad light - you spend the good part of your academic year(s) waking up early, putting on your uniform, making you sanwhiches, spending 6 hours of your day learnin (ok who am I kiddin' I never did the whole 6 let a lone 2!) hoppin on the crammed bus with smokers in the back (ooo I don't half miss the smell of nicatine) and then all you can show for it in the end is a 60minute exam. If that paper turns out to be rubbish for ya then you loose. Lol ppl have used the old cliche "your cheating youself Minaz", but frankly I don't care there are more important things I should be worried about in this world (including split ends:p). At the end of the day I'm in uni (sure my course is full of extremely intelligent ppl) but I got in none the less, and more importantly I didn't hurt anyone nore commit a crime on my process gettin here (lol i can sleep sound as a baby at night). So yeh if you don't wanna cheat then don't, but if you do then good on you stand up for yourself!
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Genius
11-08-2005, 09:44 PM
I haven't read the 224 posts in this thread, but i can safely say; Minaz and Muezzin are the rockingest dudes on this forum, all you others are lame, hang your heads in shame, go find a cave stay and do dhikr or something.
Reply

Shadow
11-08-2005, 09:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Genius
all you others are lame, hang your heads in shame, go find a cave stay and do dhikr or something.
i took that personnaly brother:beard:
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Muezzin
11-08-2005, 09:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Gandalf
i took that personnaly brother:beard:
That is quite simply the best smiley I have ever seen.

format_quote Originally Posted by Genius
I haven't read the 224 posts in this thread, but i can safely say; Minaz and Muezzin are the rockingest dudes on this forum, all you others are lame, hang your heads in shame, go find a cave stay and do dhikr or something.
Jazakallah khier Bro. Here's the rep points I promised to pay you for saying that. ;)

format_quote Originally Posted by Ibn Syed
Star Wars is getting old. Time to quit the Jedi stuff
Poppycock! Star Wars is timeless!
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MinAhlilHadeeth
11-09-2005, 10:08 AM
Ok ok here's my problem. Bro minaz is picking on me on another thread, bro muezzin what should i do? (i'm not talking 2 u minaz!!!)
and no beating up a tramp is not the solution:)
:w::rose:
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aamirsaab
11-09-2005, 10:16 AM
:sl:
Muezzin'd probably say beat up minaz. or better yet, he'd do it himself. but he's lazy so he would probly send me in. It's a hard-knock life for us guys in the ghetto.
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 01:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Fenix-Angel
Ok ok here's my problem. Bro minaz is picking on me on another thread, bro muezzin what should i do? (i'm not talking 2 u minaz!!!)
and no beating up a tramp is not the solution:)
:w::rose:
Send him to me and I'll in turn send him screaming in my choice of potential wives for him. :)

format_quote Originally Posted by aamirsaab
Muezzin'd probably say beat up minaz. or better yet, he'd do it himself. but he's lazy so he would probly send me in. It's a hard-knock life for us guys in the ghetto.
You cleanin' those hubcaps or do you like gettin' capped? Straight up.
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Ameeratul Layl
11-09-2005, 01:19 PM
:sl:

okay agony aunts.....how do i get a palace?:giggling:
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 01:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

okay agony aunts.....how do i get a palace?:giggling:
Marry Prince William after converting him to Islam.

Stay the heck away from Harry though - he's a tad nutty.

p.s. if this plan works, you will forward Minaz's name and my own to the Royal Family so that we may get our own 'Time-share' deals in Balmoral as it were.
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Ameeratul Layl
11-09-2005, 01:28 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Marry Prince William after converting him to Islam.

Stay the heck away from Harry though - he's a tad nutty.

p.s. if this plan works, you will forward Minaz's name and my own to the Royal Family so that we may get our own 'Time-share' deals in Balmoral as it were.

:sl:

Someone pass me a bucket, Im going to vomit!!!

Ewww....William....no way!!!!


U can be my butlers.....:giggling: Thats the closest ull get to have ur name on a royal paper.:giggling: :giggling: :giggling:
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 01:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

Someone pass me a bucket, Im going to vomit!!!

Ewww....William....no way!!!!


U can be my butlers.....:giggling: Thats the closest ull get to have ur name on a royal paper.:giggling: :giggling: :giggling:
Wait a minute. That'd make Camilla my mother-in-law.

Aw HELL no!
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 01:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

Ewww....see wat I mean bro:giggling: :giggling: :giggling:

So? Advise bro!!!Im waiting....
Well... I bet Toys R Us will have some sort of Christmas discount on Barbie's Dream Palace or something. :p

format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
*raises eyebrow*
I can do that too! And make my ears wiggle! It's sooo cool, I'm telling ya.. hey waitaminute, come back!
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Ameeratul Layl
11-09-2005, 01:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Well... I bet Toys R Us will have some sort of Christmas discount on Barbie's Dream Palace or something. :p

:sl: This aint no dream bro....Im serious. Plus! I DONT want barbies dream palace. I want MY palace!!!

*Who wants to sit in barbies rubbishy old palace. she is a fake -plastic...stinky- plastic- thing anyway*
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 01:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl: This aint no dream bro....Im serious. Plus! I DONT want barbies dream palace. I want MY palace!!!

*Who wants to sit in barbies rubbishy old palace. she is a fake -plastic...stinky- plastic- thing anyway*
Well, you can make your own castle with these

Failing that, buy stock in Heinz, wait for a few years, then maybe you'll have amassed enough to buy your very own Taj Mahal-rivalling piece of architecture.

In Kent, mind.
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 01:55 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
Failing that, buy stock in Heinz, wait for a few years, then maybe you'll have amassed enough to buy your very own Taj Mahal-rivalling piece of architecture.

In Kent, mind.
:sl: Omg.....ur being horrid.

*evil side merges*

HOW DARE U!!!!:mad:

*evil side fades away*

Arent u going to hlp ur little sis?:embarrass
Oh, okay since you asked so nicely. :p

That one sister was saying earlier that they're having a kangaroo problem in Australian farms. So, arm yourself to the teeth, go to Australia, and work as a professional bounty hunter. You'll make a killing - in both senses of the word.
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S_87
11-09-2005, 01:56 PM
:sl:

how does one stop themsevles being called weird?

:w:
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 02:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by amani
:sl:

how does one stop themsevles being called weird?

:w:
Stop being a weirdo. :p

Only joking. Just ignore those bozos. They probably wouldn't know originality if it sat on their face in bright pink pantaloons.

format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
Omg...I cant hurt kangroos for my 'dream' palace.

I wudnt even hurt a fly
No problem. I've always wanted to hunt kangaroo. With my bare hands. :blind:
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 02:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abrar
what the ....?!?
Try not to dwell on it and it might just disappear.

format_quote Originally Posted by She knows who she is
We were talking about my palace.....can we drop the kangroo hunting topic.....ur depressing me!!!
No, I meant I'd give you some of the proceeds of my bounty hunts. Oh. Erm.. I mean, no I'm definitely not going to hurt any of those kangaroos. And I definitely wouldn't send you any money from killing them. No, it'd all come from legitmate sources. Not kangaroo hunting. And that thing on the documents saying I'll be based in Australia? Lies.
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 02:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl: Ur just ONE BIG problem anaywayonly messing!!!

come on then....my palace!!!where were we?
The answer is staring me in the face.

Literally.

Right there under your username.

You're the princess, Your Highness, you tell me how to get a palace. :p
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 02:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

Honestly.....*nods head side to side*

I am THE Princess of Arabia. I live in the desert with the rest of the monarch *im getting gud at faking things*

I need a proper palace....the desert is too hot. I need a roof over my head....not sum kind of goat made tent.lol.

By the way, I am a the OTHER Roayl family. Not the As saud but the As Saood *:giggling:*

Suggestions bro!!!!
Use your wealth, Majesty.

And donate some to Muezzin and Minaz Inc. ;)

salam
did you put that wink as an implication that i need cyber counselling??
wasalam
salam
That wasn't a wink, a bug flew into my eye.
Reply

baby_muslimah15
11-09-2005, 02:25 PM
Heyy i'm back...............It took me 4ever 2 read all the posts I was behind in, well Ameeratul Layl...I too am a princess...Of the world, so in order 2 get a Palace you have 2 first have big money...The you have 2 marry prince charming(no wait hes already takin by me) well anywayz....Watch Snow white, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, and Aladdin(those are all clasical princess movies) You can prob get sum tips from them........LOOL

My problem is, I have a sister who talks 2 much(and this time her talking got me into sumthing I dont wanna be in) but the thing is it involves a couple of people............So heeeelp Bro Mueziin and minaz(oh yea guess what I finally learnt how 2 spell yo name without looking Muezzin) Okay back to the topic.....Hollaz
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baby_muslimah15
11-09-2005, 05:14 PM
You said yall help(well can yall do my school work????) I would really appricate....I mught even send a check!!!
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 05:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
You said yall help(well can yall do my school work????) I would really appricate....I mught even send a check!!!
Sure, just send it by carrier pigeon. He'll find us.

Unless a rifle bullet finds him first.
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 05:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
No I spell it check(what is cheque??)
Cheque is the correct way of spelling it. Check is like American-slang-type weirdness.

But 4 real do yall do homework?
We do OUR homework, certainly. C'mon, just put it in one of Kes's talons and send that hawk a-flyin'!
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baby_muslimah15
11-09-2005, 05:24 PM
I'm not sending no check unless I get sum help wit ma homework(and guess I well be using american slang) Hollaz
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Muezzin
11-09-2005, 05:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by baby_muslimah15
I'm not sending no check unless I get sum help wit ma homework(and guess I well be using american slang) Hollaz
Oh, that's fine, we accept plastic.
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Muhammad
11-09-2005, 06:40 PM
:sl:
WARNING!

This thread is getting dangerously out of hand and I am sorry to say that MANY posts were deleted! Please try to avoid overdoing the questioning and getting carried away with fictitious ideas Insha'Allaah.

May I suggest that if you seriously don't have a problem, then perhaps allow people who do to be the ones asking?

Lastly, members have expressed concern that this thread may be closed. That decision is in your hands - if you can calm down a bit and try to remember the LI rules, Insha'Allaah the thread is fine to remain :). I quote from the LI rules that a thread is closed if:

- It is getting out of hand with beef and after warnings doesn't look like it will get back on track.
- It has become a giant freepost.
- It is inappropriate.

:w:
Reply

minaz
11-09-2005, 06:46 PM
yes as 50% shareholder in Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings INC, I do agree with the above statement, yeh it is bit of a giant freepost but I'm glad to say that all the beef has been comical. As for inaproppropiate - no comment
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Ameeratul Layl
11-09-2005, 06:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by minaz
yes as 50% shareholder in Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings INC, I do agree with the above statement, yeh it is bit of a giant freepost but I'm glad to say that all the beef has been comical. As for inaproppropiate - no comment

:sl: The other 50% was definately me and Im sorry for messing things up.:embarrass

Allah ma3akum
Reply

minaz
11-09-2005, 06:49 PM
The other 50% was definately me and Im sorry for messing things up
What Muezzin has sold his shares to you! Right now that is a problem
Reply

nafy
11-09-2005, 06:52 PM
lol.........das funny man..... ;)

ok i practically gave my sisters a heart attack 3 o clok in da morning
by waking up from a dream half screaming and half crying lol....
i need 2 refrain frm doin dat agen........da poor things didnt get a wink
of sleep aftawards lol.....hehehe ;)

any advice??
Reply

minaz
11-09-2005, 06:57 PM
the answer is in the content of the dream, please share
p.s. Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings INC is not responisble of any "un-islamic" elements of the dream
Reply

nafy
11-09-2005, 07:02 PM
ewwwww........lol.......its not a yukky dream believe me....
its quite scary.....
i cud c myself in a room..........n it was gradualy gettin darker.....
den i started 2 hear really weird loud whispering in my ears.....n it was gettin louder.......n den it felt lyk sumfin got me all of a sudden......
which resulted in me screamin myself awake lol
but den i ended up crying 4 about n hour or so for sum reason....
i felt lyk i was gonna die actually :(
Reply

*charisma*
11-09-2005, 09:11 PM
Assalamu Alaikum Doc Minaz, Doc Muezzin

alright heres a problem for ya (i just made it up yesterday so run along with it) enjoy :p:

Problem:

A brother asks a sister for her hand in marriage, the sister agrees, but wants to know the brother’s age.
figure this out: The brother is 3 times older than his younger brother and his younger brother is 6 times younger than his father and the father is 1.2 times older than the mother.

How old is the brother?










Brother's answer: Sister, age doesn’t matter in Islam :)

fi aman Allah
w'salaam
Reply

minaz
11-09-2005, 10:10 PM
i just made it up yesterday so run along with it
Yeh and I'm the king of Brunei, just be thankful what you've been given and just marry him - you aint getting any younger :p
thank you come again
TEXATA'
Reply

Muezzin
11-09-2005, 10:36 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nafy
ewwwww........lol.......its not a yukky dream believe me....
its quite scary.....
i cud c myself in a room..........n it was gradualy gettin darker.....
den i started 2 hear really weird loud whispering in my ears.....n it was gettin louder.......n den it felt lyk sumfin got me all of a sudden......
which resulted in me screamin myself awake lol
but den i ended up crying 4 about n hour or so for sum reason....
i felt lyk i was gonna die actually
Make dua. Don't eat cheese before you go to bed, it gives you nightmares. Don't drink too much water before you go to bed, it might cause mess. :p

If the dreams persist, seek better help than our little comedy corner here. :)

format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma*
Assalamu Alaikum Doc Minaz, Doc Muezzin

alright heres a problem for ya (i just made it up yesterday so run along with it) enjoy :p:

Problem:

A brother asks a sister for her hand in marriage, the sister agrees, but wants to know the brother’s age.
figure this out: The brother is 3 times older than his younger brother and his younger brother is 6 times younger than his father and the father is 1.2 times older than the mother.

How old is the brother?
Who cares? :p

Brother's answer: Sister, age doesn’t matter in Islam :)

fi aman Allah
w'salaam
True. Next!
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 08:42 AM
:sl:

AGHHHHH! Brothers I need ur help. Wallah! I aint making this up, thi si no joke and need u all to be serious:

I have this (muslim) boy in my physics class. Thankfully that is the only class he is in with me cuz he doesnt attend the evening maths classes.

Anyway, he really is freaking me out!!!!:heated:

He always stars at me. Whenever I turn around to look at the teacher (whilst she is explaining something) or wen I luk at the bored to copy notes down: he is always swirling on the chair (typical lab chairs) and always has his gaze on me!!!!!

I swear: I wear hijab and jilbaab. I cant cover myself more than that. I wear modest clothes underneath which are FARRRRRRRRRR from tight and revealing.

Wat do I do? He is freaking me out and its not comfortable sitting in lesson. The owrst thing: He always sits behind me!!!!:-\

Plz take this seriously!!! I really need some advise!!!:embarrass :embarrass :embarrass
Reply

Muezzin
11-10-2005, 09:05 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

AGHHHHH! Brothers I need ur help. Wallah! I aint making this up, thi si no joke and need u all to be serious:

I have this (muslim) boy in my physics class. Thankfully that is the only class he is in with me cuz he doesnt attend the evening maths classes.

Anyway, he really is freaking me out!!!!:heated:

He always stars at me. Whenever I turn around to look at the teacher (whilst she is explaining something) or wen I luk at the bored to copy notes down: he is always swirling on the chair (typical lab chairs) and always has his gaze on me!!!!!

I swear: I wear hijab and jilbaab. I cant cover myself more than that. I wear modest clothes underneath which are FARRRRRRRRRR from tight and revealing.

Wat do I do? He is freaking me out and its not comfortable sitting in lesson. The owrst thing: He always sits behind me!!!!:-\

Plz take this seriously!!! I really need some advise!!!:embarrass :embarrass :embarrass
Tell him to stop staring and if he doesn't listen, zap the sucker

That'll teach him to lower his gaze.
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:16 AM
Tell him to stop staring and if he doesn't listen, zap the sucker

That'll teach him to lower his gaze.[/QUOTE]


:sl:
lol. I dont even know wat that is bro. :hmm:
Plus! I dont want to hurt him.....I just wanna make it clear to him that Im not interested!!!!:hmm2: :embarrass
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 10:18 AM
salam
just explain to him that you are both muslims and advise him that it is haramm to stare at the opposite gender
wasalam
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
just explain to him that you are both muslims and advise him that it is haramm to stare at the opposite gender
wasalam

:w:
Brother. He is not that kind of person to understand such words. He is not islamic. He wears gold rings and walks.....like a 'bad boy.':blind:

He is more of western person than Islamic.:enough!: :enough!: :rant:

Allah ma3ak
Reply

aamirsaab
11-10-2005, 10:21 AM
:sl:
badboi huh? give him a slap. that'll teach the perv.
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by aamirsaab
:sl:
badboi huh? give him a slap. that'll teach the perv.

:w: Brother. Think realistically plz. Im a muslim woamn/girl. I am not married to him (thank God)....so me touching his face is haraam. Plus!!! There wudnt be enuf soap in the world to clean my hands if I did.

Everyone seems to be taking this as a joke!!!!:-\

I need help....
:eek:
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 10:28 AM
salam
just explain to him boldly that you don't like him staring at you, make him feel what he is doing is something wrong and haram
wasalam
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:31 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
just explain to him boldly that you don't like him staring at you, make him feel what he is doing is something wrong and haram
wasalam

:sl:

I hate talking to boys. I hate sitting or standing next to them. (This does not go for the dar brothers on this thread-YOU are brothers....this partcular boy....is a freak!!!!)

How do I approach him without going beetroot red?

Im confused and scared.
I have a physics test at 2:30pm today. I cant concentrate on any revision bcuz I cant stand the thought of going into the class.:embarrass :embarrass :embarrass
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:32 AM
[QUOTE=zAk;108724]just one ? :?ah then either kick him[wid a shoe on] or hit him wid a stick ! :okay:

Yeah and then Ill get suspended or expelled and then Ill never be ANYONE......ill just be a NO ONE!!!!:hmm:
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 10:33 AM
:sl: sister

I really think what you need to do is change your seat so that at least your at the side of him or sit behind him.....try speaking to the teacher and explain that you feel uncomfortable with that guy. he/she may be able to have a quiet word or change the seating positions within the class.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 10:34 AM
salam
then the best thing to do is ignore him sis
wasalam
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:36 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
then the best thing to do is ignore him sis
wasalam

:sl:
I knew sum1 was going to say that: Its not u who has to do experiments evry physics lesson and has to either:

walk passed him
ask him for the stupid matches
Ask him to excuse....cuz he is in the WAY!!!!

Not getting anywhere am I?:hmm:

I just hope and pary he doesnt cum to lesson today!!!Ameen!!!!
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
:sl: sister

I really think what you need to do is change your seat so that at least your at the side of him or sit behind him.....try speaking to the teacher and explain that you feel uncomfortable with that guy. he/she may be able to have a quiet word or change the seating positions within the class.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:

:sl:

The other tables have boys on them.

The table I sit on has three girls and two boys. The boys on my table joke with me but I soon put them in their places.....Evil luk is my method with them!!!!

Plus!! WE HAVE SWIRLY chairs. And he always swirls on his chair. so!! it wudnt make a difference where I sat.:eek:
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 10:40 AM
salam
just sit somewhere far away from him so that you both don't get in each other's way
wasalam
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:41 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
just sit somewhere far away from him so that you both don't get in each other's way
wasalam

:sl: U just dont listen do u brother!!!!:embarrass

Read wat I have written on the prev. page. :-\
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 10:42 AM
hmmmm, this seems to be a tough one....have you ever actually had a conversation with him?

may seem wrong but..if he understands how u feel and think maybe he'll be sympathetic and actually wanna do a good deed. you say hes not religious but im wondering if he fasted during Ramadan. People who do fast during Ramadan even if nto practising during the rest of the year have a basic concept of right and wrong and im sure he doesnt want to make you feel uncomfortable.

duno if that will be possible sis.....you say you have spoken to other guys in your class so talking to him shudnt be that embarrassing

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 10:44 AM
salam
sis try and talk to him or complain to the teacher and tell your teacher to allow you to sit on a table that only has girls on it
or switch to another class
wasalam
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:47 AM
[QUOTE=Rabi'ya;108741]hmmmm, this seems to be a tough one....have you ever actually had a conversation with him?

No....other than 'yes' and 'no'
Or....'brother can u plz get the thermometer'.


may seem wrong but..if he understands how u feel and think maybe he'll be sympathetic and actually wanna do a good deed. you say hes not religious but im wondering if he fasted during Ramadan. People who do fast during Ramadan even if nto practising during the rest of the year have a basic concept of right and wrong and im sure he doesnt want to make you feel uncomfortable.

He has fasted but thats wat he sed. I dont know whether he did.

duno if that will be possible sis.....you say you have spoken to other guys in your class so talking to him shudnt be that embarrassing


With the others. I tell them in a nice tone to get lost. I can say stuff like that to the english boys bcuz they wudnt end up like this one is at the moment. U get wat I mean sis?:embarrass :embarrass :embarrass
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:49 AM
[QUOTE=metsudaistwice;108746]salam
sis try and talk to him or complain to the teacher and tell your teacher to allow you to sit on a table that only has girls on it

Im going to blow in a minute....u have not been reading my other post have u!!!!!!!!! I DO SIT ON THE GIRLS TABLE!!!!!!!:mad:

but we have swirly chairs so he swirls and (with every excuse) and just boldges at me!!!!!
or switch to another class
I cant........this is the ONLY AS level class!!!
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 10:51 AM
sis, just because they are english boys and you dress modestly does not mean that they will nto become attracted to you. they may find you, astaghfirullah, a challenge and therefore try harder to tempt you. I know from experience sis.

the best thing you can do is speak to this "brother" and tell him how you feel and that its simply makes you feel uncomfortable. he may just be intrigued as to why you dress like that, or impressed that your iman is so strong. he may be jealous and wanting guidance himself. you shudnt assume he didnt fast just because he wears gold and is a "bad boy".
:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 10:51 AM
salam
sis on the table where he can't swivel next to you
wasalam
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:54 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
sis on the table where he can't swivel next to you
wasalam

:sl: I really give up with u bro.

Do u know wat a swirly swivly chair does? It goes 360 degress anti clock and clockwise = It doesnt matter where I sit.....

Get it????
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 10:55 AM
salam
sis, if he sits on side of the room, then move to the other side of the room where he can't swivel next to you
wasalam
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:56 AM
[QUOTE=Rabi'ya;108758]sis, just because they are english boys and you dress modestly does not mean that they will nto become attracted to you. they may find you, astaghfirullah, a challenge and therefore try harder to tempt you. I know from experience sis.

Gud point sis. But I will never get tempted by English boys.....they dont impress me. I know I shoudlnt say this on the forum but.....Im more of a saudi Arab kinda person. Not English!!! No offense.....Im just the way I am.


the best thing you can do is speak to this "brother" and tell him how you feel and that its simply makes you feel uncomfortable. he may just be intrigued as to why you dress like that, or impressed that your iman is so strong. he may be jealous and wanting guidance himself. you shudnt assume he didnt fast just because he wears gold and is a "bad boy".

Thanks sis. But Im NOT going to speak to him:phew :phew :phew :

How do I put it?:phew

'why do u stare at me?':phew
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 10:56 AM
sis, u seem pretty upset today. I think you need to rethink and just calm down.

maybe the brother has issues. in any case, u shudnt let him affect your studies. Just think about the reason your studying and dont let him put yuo off. If he wants to stare let him stare. wear niqab for that class only if you feel better, but again, that may encourage him to stare again.

just concentrate on your studies, its not long sis.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 10:58 AM
[QUOTE=Rabi'ya;108768]sis, u seem pretty upset today. I think you need to rethink and just calm down.

I am sis.*sobs*

maybe the brother has issues. in any case, u shudnt let him affect your studies. Just think about the reason your studying and dont let him put yuo off. If he wants to stare let him stare. wear niqab for that class only if you feel better, but again, that may encourage him to stare again.

I promised myself and Allah that Id wear it wen I married. I CANT wear it at college bcuz ALL the ppl here are racist. I swear!!! Its not even esay to walk alone....I take the lift up the stairs in case anyone pulls my jilbabb and I go flying down the staircase!!!
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 10:59 AM
You say that english boys dont interest you, and i understand what your saying, but from what i gather your not interested in this boy either, so why the fuss?is it just coz hes from a Muslim background, u feel like he shud kno better.englihs boys and muslims boys both have the same urges its just that the more islamic a person is the more they focus on harnessing their desires.
this "brother" may just not undertsnad and sees you as a challenge the same as other english boys might. jsut because hes from a Muslim family does not mean he is any different from teh english boys. he still lives in this society!!

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 11:02 AM
[QUOTE=Rabi'ya;108770]You say that english boys dont interest you, and i understand what your saying, but from what i gather your not interested in this boy either, so why the fuss?is it just coz hes from a Muslim background, u feel like he shud kno better.englihs boys and muslims boys both have the same urges its just that the more islamic a person is the more they focus on harnessing their desires.

No sis. Its bcuz....*ashamed to say this*I know he has a soft spot for me (DONT U DARE TEASE ME.....NONE OF YOU)
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 11:04 AM
salam
may allah guide us all and protect us all
wasalam
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 11:05 AM
well, how do you know if hes never spoken to you? the best thing to do it continue to maintain your haya. just think that im with you sis.....

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 11:05 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
may allah guide us all and protect us all
wasalam

:sl:
Ameen. Ameen.Ameen.
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 11:07 AM
[QUOTE=Rabi'ya;108775]well, how do you know if hes never spoken to you?

Bcuz of the way he acts around me. He is just so.....obbssesed. Why sont he luk at the other girls....I mean, he chats to the bengali muslim girl in my class. With me.....he is....quite but damn sneeky.

Lets allow the Agony Aunts to give the answers. I hope they get here b4 my lesson!!!

the best thing to do it continue to maintain your haya. just think that im with you sis.....

I luv u sis. I really do!!!
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 11:10 AM
he'll probs give up after a few months i know it may be hard but make duaa and keep focused on ur studies.

love you too sis mwah!:rose:

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
11-10-2005, 11:17 AM
salam
just keep avoiding him so he gets the hint that you don't want him around you
wasalam
Reply

Muezzin
11-10-2005, 01:29 PM
Oooh-kay. This particular problem is better suited to the Cyber Counselling forum.

And that was a picture of a taser by the way. ;)
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 01:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Oooh-kay. This particular problem is better suited to the Cyber Counselling forum.

And that was a picture of a taser by the way. ;)

:sl:
Fine.
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 01:33 PM
:sl:

I have a problem Id like brother Muezzin and brother Minaz to try to helpout with.

I think I am addicted to cucumber and mayo sandwiches....

Can you suggest what to do?

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Muezzin
11-10-2005, 01:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
:sl:

I have a problem Id like brother Muezzin and brother Minaz to try to helpout with.

I think I am addicted to cucumber and mayo sandwiches....

Can you suggest what to do?

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Simple. Eat them. Eat them all.

Sooner or later you'll get sick of them.

Alternatively, they'll kill you.

Either way, it's a sure way to get rid of the addiction. ;)
Reply

S_87
11-10-2005, 01:38 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl

Thanks sis. But Im NOT going to speak to him:phew :phew :phew :

How do I put it?:phew

'why do u stare at me?':phew
:sl:

get a friend to do it for you then. really i think thats the best way.and if u want bring this issue in sisters room. :zip: :happy:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 01:39 PM
get a friend to do it for you then. really i think thats the best way.and if u want bring this issue in sisters room. :zip: :happy:[/QUOTE]


:sl:
I dont have any friends at college. I had a bengali girl but she was just a user. Typical!!

I dont have friends....they are all rasict ppl.
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 01:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Simple. Eat them. Eat them all.

Sooner or later you'll get sick of them.

Alternatively, they'll kill you.

Either way, it's a sure way to get rid of the addiction. ;)
but this has now started to affect my bank balance:hmm: ....and the people in tesco ahev started to wonder why i buy so much cucumber and mayo. i get thru 3 cucumbers a week and 2 large jars of mayo!!:happy:

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Muezzin
11-10-2005, 01:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
but this has now started to affect my bank balance:hmm: ....and the people in tesco ahev started to wonder why i buy so much cucumber and mayo. i get thru 3 cucumbers a week and 2 large jars of mayo!!:happy:

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
So that's even more of an incentive to give up - if you don't, those damn sandwiches will eat through your wallet. :)
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 01:49 PM
I need help, do you think i should cut down first or shall i just give up straight away. i feel i may get withdrawal symptoms if i give up straight away.

do u know of any online counselling service for this kind of problem?

do u think i may have a medical condition? is anyone qualified to diagnose?

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Muezzin
11-10-2005, 01:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
I need help, do you think i should cut down first or shall i just give up straight away. i feel i may get withdrawal symptoms if i give up straight away.
They have patches for that sort of thing. ;)

do u know of any online counselling service for this kind of problem?
Sandwiches Anonymous? ... Dotcom?

do u think i may have a medical condition? is anyone qualified to diagnose?
I dunno, I'd have to do a full-out medical investigation involving raiding your fridge and publishing the contents on the Internet.
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 01:54 PM
Fridge raiding ^o) OMG!!!! lol, then ull see how much junk food is in there...

hmmm, they do patches, really?
ill check out sandwiches anonymous soon

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 01:55 PM
:sl:

Does br minaz have any 'decent' advise? I have 30mins to go for my physics test as well as having to see that boys face again.
I am feeling nervous and xtremely sick.:embarrass
Reply

Rabi'ya
11-10-2005, 01:56 PM
Just stay calm sis, honestly, just ignore him, there really is nothing else you can do. u will always come across wierdos in life!?! u met me didnt u ;) lol

seriously tho, just take each day as it comes, i think ur stressed about ur test but inshaAllah it will go ok sis.

make duaa

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Muezzin
11-10-2005, 01:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

Does br minaz have any 'decent' advise? I have 30mins to go for my physics test as well as having to see that boys face again.
I am feeling nervous and xtremely sick.:embarrass
Do your female friends know? Or would they just take the mick (I know my mates would take the mick if I told 'em I felt uncomfortable about a member of the opposite gender staring at me)
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 01:58 PM
[QUOTE=Rabi'ya;108927]Just stay calm sis, honestly, just ignore him, there really is nothing else you can do. u will always come across wierdos in life!?! u met me didnt u ;) lol


Ur not a weirdo...ur a n angel that Allah has bestowed me with!!!:embarrass

seriously tho, just take each day as it comes, i think ur stressed about ur test but inshaAllah it will go ok sis.

It is the test as well. My stomach is churning!!
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
11-10-2005, 01:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
Do your female friends know? Or would they just take the mick (I know my mates would take the mick if I told 'em I felt uncomfortable about a member of the opposite gender staring at me)

:sl: I dont have any friends....forget female ones!!!
Reply

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