The Marriage of Aisha to the Prophet(PBUH)

Following Posted in Why Islam FAQs of Islam section.

http://whyislam.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1525&PN=1


Question:
1. Why did the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) marry a 9 year old?

Answer:
1. When talking about Islam, there are many questions that are asked by Muslims and non-Muslims alike. One of the most common questions is about Prophet Muhammad’s (Peace be upon him) marriage to Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). The reason for this question to arise is because of the age difference between the two. Prophet Muhammad was 54 years old and Aisha was 9 years old when the marriage was consummated. They were engaged when Aisha was 6 years old, and Prophet Muhammad waited until she reached the age of puberty to marry her.

Because of this difference in age, there has been some undeserved and unnecessary controversy about this marriage. People have also disgraced and humiliated Prophet Muhammad by calling him a pedophile, child molester, pervert, and many other degrading terms and phrases. During that time, once a man or woman reached puberty, they were eligible for marriage. Though it is not practiced in many societies today, it was practiced during those times in Arabia and the rest of the Middle East, and in Europe.

Though Prophet Muhammad has been maligned for this marriage, he had no history of committing illegal sexual acts, nor did he lust or fantasize about anyone. Besides this marriage, all his other marriages were to women 17 years and older; some of them were widows. Except for one, all of the marriages were to spread and pass on Islam by creating and strengthening relations (Prophet Muhammad married his first wife Khadijah after she proposed to him; this marriage took place before his Prophethood). This was also a reason why Prophet Muhammad had three of his daughters married to Uthman and Ali, who would become the last two caliphs of Islam.

The information below will give a clear and concise explanation of the legality of this relationship, thus hoping to clear any undeserved and unnecessary controversy created.

Brotherhood

In pre-Islamic times, people were accustomed to befriending one another to the extent that they behaved like brothers by blood. Therefore, they would not marry the daughters of the men they befriended and took as brothers. One of the female companions Khawlah bint Hakim organized the engagement between Aisha and Prophet Muhammad. When she went to Abu Bakr he said: “Could Aisha be lawful to him (i.e. Prophet Muhammad) while she was his brother’s daughter?” When Khawlah went back to Prophet Muhammad and told him what had happened, he said: “Tell him, you are my brother in Islam and your daughter is lawful to me.”

Thus, this example of Prophet Muhammad showed the people that Islamic brotherhood is not the same as blood brothers and it did away with the pre-Islamic practice of forbidding men to marry the daughters of their friend.

It should be noted that there are no accounts of anyone within their society disagreeing with the marriage, not even Aisha herself. It is only now in recent times that people are attacking this marriage.

In a tribal society, it was customary to seal treaties through marrying into tribes. Prophet Muhammad’s closest Companions later became the four caliphs who led Islam at the critical stage after his death. Two of them were the fathers of his wives Aisha (daughter of Abu Bakr) and Hafsa (daughter of `Umar); the other two married his daughters (`Uthman married Ruqayyah and Zaynab in succession, and `Ali married Fatimah). (i have to add a couple of sentences and some rephrasing of the paragraph)

Brief History of the Marriage Arrangement

At first, Prophet Muhammad was hesitant to marry again after the death of his first wife, Khadijah. He had dreams of the angel Gabriel carrying Aisha wrapped in sheets where Prophet Muhammad was told “This is your wife.” He said to himself that if this was a true dream from Allah, it will happen. These dreams were kept to himself thinking he was much older than her and that Abu Bakr, her father, had already given her hand in marriage to a man named Mut’im. With the memories that he had of Khadijah, he did not give any indication of getting married again. One should notice that since a proposal was already made, this indicated that Aisha was eligible for marriage.

It was not until his housekeeper, Khawlah bint Hakim, insisted that Prophet Muhammad get married because she thought it would be better for him to have a companion instead of being alone. Khawlah suggested that he could marry Aisha, or Sawdah bint Zam`ah, who was an old widow. The suggestion of Aisha confirmed the dream that Prophet Muhammad had of Aisha. He told Khawlah to arrange both marriages.

When Abu Bakr found out about Prophet Muhammad’s request to marry Aisha, he went to Mut’im to cancel his marriage with Aisha, and he amicably agreed.

Islam does not specify a minimum age when man and woman should be married, but both should be able to perform their marital duties. Prophet Muhammad was more than capable, and Aisha had the help of Sawdah. She guided and helped Aisha, until her death, as she was learning her role as a wife.

Pedophilia and Lust

Here is a definition:

"Pedophile: also spelled PEDOPHILIA, psychosexual disorder in which an adult's arousal and sexual gratification occur primarily through sexual contact with prepubescent children. The typical pedophile is unable to find satisfaction in an adult sexual relationship and may have low self-esteem, seeing sexual activity with a child as less threatening than that with an adult." Encyclopedia Britannica, 1998

Though he is criticized for marrying Aisha, one can see that none of his marriages can lead to the conclusion that he is a pedophile; all of his marriages, with the exception of Aisha, were with women that were the age of 17 or older. If he was a pedophile, he would not have waited for three years to consummate the marriage. He would have taken her to his home immediately at the age of 6 without marriage. If Prophet Muhammad had a desire for women he would choose someone over 9 years old who had an ideal appearance; he would not wait for a person to turn a certain age to achieve beauty.

Prophet Muhammad’s Marriages

Prophet Muhammad did not have lust for any woman. Many women who were believers offered him themselves in marriage. He could have had any woman he wanted, but he married the woman he needed to marry to cement and create relations with other tribes to spread Islam.

Including the marriages of Aisha, Prophet Muhammad had married 12 people. Out of Prophet Muhammad’s 12 marriages, 11 were socio-political. He married first wife, Khadijah, when she proposed to him. From islamonline.net: “Most of his wives after the death of Khadijah were old, devoid of beauty, and previously married, except Aisha, who was the only young virgin. He married from other nations and religions; some were the daughters of his worst enemies, and his marriage to one woman won all her people into Islam. Regardless of his neutral feelings towards many of them, he was a model example of equal justice and kindness to them all, and he would never discriminate among them.”

The Quraish

The Quraish was a tribe that was present during Prophet Muhammad’s time. This tribe did not believe in the word (Islam) Prophet Muhammad revealed to the people. The tribe found every opportunity to belittle, mock, and humiliate him at any open opportunity. This can be seen when reading about Prophet Muhammad. If they knew Prophet Muhammad was marrying a person who was not yet eligible to be married, they would have harassed him when they had the chance. Since they knew this marriage was legal, this proved two things: Marriages with young women who had reached puberty was normal and that it must have been practiced by other people, Muslim or not.

Aisha’s Intelligence

Aisha from a very young age was known to have a formidable memory. She was born into Islam, as her parents reverted before she was born, and therefore was taught from a very tender age by her pious father Abu Bakr. When she married Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) her education continued. She transmitted more than 2000 hadiths of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Az-Aubairi said, ‘if we compared Aisha’s knowledge to all women, Aisha would surpass them. Hisham ibn Urwa said. I have never seen anyone who could have knowledge of an ayah, an obligatory act, a sunnah act, poetry, history, lineage, judgment or medicine better than Aisha. I asked her, ‘what about medicine, how did you learn it aunt?’ She answered, ‘when I was sick, Prophet Muhammad prescribed (treatment) for me as did he when the people became ill. I also heard people prescribing treatment to each other. Thereby I memorized such prescriptions.’ So by her marriage to Prophet Muhammad, many prophetic traditions were passed down through generations to reach us today.

Abu Bakr, father of Aisha, companion of Prophet Muhammad

Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with him, was the successor of Prophet Muhammad, making him the first caliph. He was also the father of Aisha. The marriage between Prophet Muhammad and Aisha was also done to cement the relationship between Abu Bakr and Prophet Muhammad, to make it stronger: “Prophet Muhammad’s love for Aisha was a sign of his love for her father. On being asked about the dearest person to his heart, Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned Aisha. Then, on being asked about the dearest man to him and he, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned her father, Abu Bakr.”

Middle Ages, Mary – Mother of Jesus Christ, the West

Marriage ceremonies were usually simple during this time where the Church was not that involved. Christian marriage ceremonies became part of a wedding when the Middle Ages ended. The marriages were arranged marriages where often the couple was very young. Sometimes girls were as young as 12 years of age, and the man could have been as old as 50.

Today in western societies such as America, there are several laws and freedoms. An example is that people who are 18 years or older are considered adults and if they have sexual relations with a person under the age of 18, they are categorized as “statutory rapists.” But at the same time, it is permissible to have sexual relations with people who are 12 and 13, 14 and 15, etc. Men have multiple girlfriends and women have multiple boyfriends. Extra-marital affairs are very common. These actions are so common that no one sees these actions as immoral. Actions like this are encouraged everyday. But if a marriage to someone that young is done, it is considered controversial, such as the marriage between Prophet Muhammad and Aisha. When assess this one can see which action is moral and which one is immoral.

Mary, according to Christian scholars, was around the age of 14 when she took the responsibility of bearing Jesus Christ. Mary was sent to study at the temple and enjoyed frequent visits from
holy angels. At the age of fourteen, a priest wanted to send Mary home to be married but she argued that she vowed virginity and couldn't have a husband. All Jewish women were to marry someone as an accomplishment of a natural duty. Joseph was chosen by the Holy Ghost
to marry the virgin.

After Mary and Joseph were wed, she was visited by the angel Gabriel and asked to bear the son of god. At first, Mary was frightened and curious as to how she was to keep her virginity if she was pregnant. If Mary had declined this proposal, God would have had to find another. Mary agreed to bear a child and was told that her child was to be born a boy named Jesus. The visitation of the angel and acceptance of Mary is known as the Annunciation.

If one would assess this, one would say that this event is controversial for two reasons. One is that how could a young girl get pregnant. If you assess this with today’s society, people would look at shame to a 14 year old pregnant female. (I need to rephrase and continue this paragraph)

Conclusion

The marriage between Prophet Muhammad and Aisha has received unnecessary exposure due to the age range between the two ages. Aisha had reached the age of maturity and began her life with Prophet Muhammad. During their time together, they gained a love and devotion that many people respect and admire. The information that was passed down to her from Prophet Muhammad has been vital to Islam and its followers. After Prophet Muhammad’s death, many of his hadith and sayings were passed down by Aisha to the followers of Islam. Prophet Muhammad married Aisha for the benefit of Islam and Humanity, under the command of Allah. (I have to edit and rephrase this)

This was a 9 year old girl. Please forgive my criticism, but pedophilia is wrong in any culture, at any time and with any young prepubescent that is not old enough to safely handle child birth. A 9 year old is not a sexually mature adult and it disgusts me to think that so many people are willing to make excuses for this example.

Be careful that you don't warp the minds of others who will intentionally molest other young girls after using the prophet as an example.

it was something that was okay at that time ,but not now we know that.

Greetings,

This is pretty shocking, and I don't see how the charge can be refuted. A paedophile is an adult who has sexual relations with a child. A 9 year old girl is a child. A 54 year old is an adult. I have no reason to think that the Prophet (pbuh) abused this young girl, but if he had sex with her, as I think is implied by "the marriage was consummated", he was a paedophile - there is simply no way around that.

Maybe different moral standards were in force in Arabia 1400 years ago; maybe a 9 year old was considered to be an adult; but all these rebuttals are simply making excuses - trying to deny something that seems blindingly obvious. The ancient Greeks had a similar attitude to adult males having sexual relations with young boys, so in modern parlance, they would be called homosexual paedophiles.

Peace

Greetings,

format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin

What about the 'older woman' he married, Fatima? Did this make him some sort of 'necrophiliac' or other freak specimen?

That would be a 'gerontophile' - not necessarily a freak, though.

Peace

masha Allaah! i really liked that response bro ansar.. i really like the way you responded to that because it really shows how culture plays an important role within society, and how the historical social idea comes into it. jazak Allaah khayr wa barak Allaahu feek.

wanted to give you repz but it wont let me yet lol.


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

format_quote Originally Posted by bin direnken

This was a 9 year old girl. Please forgive my criticism, but pedophilia is wrong in any culture, at any time and with any young prepubescent that is not old enough to safely handle child birth. A 9 year old is not a sexually mature adult and it disgusts me to think that so many people are willing to make excuses for this example.

Be careful that you don't warp the minds of others who will intentionally molest other young girls after using the prophet as an example.

"Bin Direnken" i've posted something an answer to this b4:

http://www.islamicboard.com/basics-i...tml#post103010

also up until the 18th or 19th century, the law in the US was that a person is allowed to marry a boy/girl from the age of 12. So if 1400 years back, if one can marry a 12 year old in the US not very long ago, then freind of mine this marriage took place 1400+++ years ago... and by the way there is a hadith i cnnt get a reference for it now-- which states that Aa'isha siddiqa'z marriage was a message from Allah and a guidance from Allah... so if the creator doesn't have a problem with the marriage why should the creation// infact the creator was the one who bought this marriage up so!!!!! And also... priests like PATT ROBINSON A CHRISTIAN IS ONE OF THE ACCUSERS WHOO SAID ABT THE PAEDOPHILE THING... SOURCELESS AND A RIDICULOUS ACCUSATION AND HE DOESNT KNOW HIMSELF THAT IN HIS OWN RELIGION THEIR WAS A GOVERNMENT IN THE US IN THE 18 th or the 19th(im not sure but it was till recent) THAT MADE A LAW WHICH STATED THE MARRIAGE from the age of 10 or so is permissable correct me if i am wrong!!!

I heard Jewish girls were married at the age of three.Correct me If I am wrong.

As I see it, there are two objections to the marriage.

1. He was a paedophile.

Well, no, he wasn't.
The diagnostic criteria for pedophilia according to American Psychiatric Association:

* Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent intense sexual urges and sexual arousing fantasies involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children.

* The person has acted on these urges, or is markedly distressed by them.

* The person is at least 16 years old and at least 5 years older than the child or children in A.

Source:
DSM-III-R Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, ed 3, revised, copyright American Psychiatric Association.

And Aisha wasnt prepubescent.

2. Well, maybe he wasn't a paedophile per se, but Aisha was young and could've been harmed by the whole thing.

History shows us that she loved the Prophet salallahu 'alayhi wa sallam and turned out to be a great scholar of islam. Nothing indicates that she was harmed in any way by the marriage, to the contrary...

Psychologists even mean that when the age difference in a marriage is fairly big, it is most likely something positive:

When the differences (in ages) is great, e.g. exceeds fifteen to twenty years, the results may be happier. The marriage of an elderly (senescent) not, of course, an old (senile) man to a quite young girl, is often very successful and harmonious. The bride is immediately introduced and accustomed to moderate sexual intercourse.
Theodor H. Vandevelde, Ideal Marriage : Its Physiology and Technique, Greenwood Publishing Group, 1980, p. 243.

Please forgive me but this whole conversation is giving me the creeps. Here we are, grown men in the 21st century, making excuses for morally disgusting and dangerous behavior in any culture.

Barbarism marked most of ancient history, from human sacrifice that was acceptable in many pagan cultures, to barbaric colonolism to spread faith through religious wars. But being humans we have evolved and should treasure that ability that we have in ourselves. It's what separates us from animals if we allow ourselves the room for change and self discovery.

No, I am not a practicing Muslim, but I was born Muslim and profess to no other faith. I enjoy Islams simple approach to monotheistic faith but have a hard time swallowing some of the things that the prophet said and did. I was once told that Muslims in the east are 800 years behind the modern west and from the way this thread is heading, I'm beginning to believe it.

All of your definitions of pedophile fit the prophet, unfortunately, and no sidestepping and fancy talk is going to excuse what he did. If he wasn't a pedophile and was just looking to spread Islam by marriage, he would have married Aisha and refused sexual relations with a prepubescent. Nine year olds do not have any need for sex. I read one hadith that spoke of the prophet "setting down Aisha's dolls" when she sat on his lap.

Do you realize that in African countries and other third world countries where Islam is practiced, prepubescent brides become pregnant and during delivery develop fistula's (openings) which never heal. For the rest of their lives they drop urine and feces as they walk because the operation needed to correct their deformity is not available to them. They smell so bad that families often ban them to a backyard outhouse and their new husbands divorce them to live in solitude to live out the rest of their lives. These prepubescents are not sexually mature enough to deliver babies, thus they are not sexually mature enough to have sex with old men who should know better.

So please don't excuse something that we all know is wrong. If you look into your hearts I think you will all agree with me. Especially if you have children of your own.

salaams. theres a lengthy answer to this discussion at www.load-islam.com in the rebuttals section. hope that helps. wassalam.

salaams again. this discussion is really upsetting. how can we degrade the Prophet like that? please, brothers and sisters be fair.wassalam.

And Abu, may I also ask you a hypothetical question?

If someone gets away with something because no outward manifestations are apparently present, does that make it all right?

I'm sure there are many rape victims that go on to lead normal, happy lives.

On the other hand, I'm sure there are many rape victims that commit suicide.

Does it really depend on the outcome of the victim to judge the crime?