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Personal statement.. (OP)
brothers n sisters..
Well Im going to apply to a uni to study pharmacy, and I need to write a personal statement for the application..and I soo don't know where to start!
Will you guys give me a few pointers on how to go about it..
Any info would be appreciated
Jazakhallah khair in advance
W'salam
Salam sis Umm Salamah
Jazakhallah for ur feedbackand ur advice, jazakhallah loads!
I will use this one:
sounds much better than mineMy bilingual skills of being able to fluently speak languages such as, Urdu and Gujarati, will prove to be beneficial for me when working amongst a community whose mother tongue is not English.
^yeh, im already way above my actual word-limit..Make sure that you've got no more than 47 lines and that you're within the character limit as its hard cutting things out when you're happy with all that you've mentioned. If you think you've gone a little over than 47 then don't worry when you enter it into the personal statement field of your UCAS application, it'll automatically reduce the size to 10, which will reduce a number of linesi need to cut it down now, but i really don't know what bits to cut out! It just seems to be getting longer and longer
awwwww jazakhallah sister, ur sooo sweetmake sure your content is impressive (which yours is btw, masha'Allah) and it'll definitely shine!
And jazakhallah for ur sweet du'a too, means alot to me :sunny:
I still have to spell-check it yet, i'll deffo do that real soon..and now all i need is a reference, and im all set inshallah
W'salam
p.s Welcome to the forums!
Here is my final draft of the personal statement.. (Finalllly I know..it's binbut alhamdulillah ive got there)
More advice is welcome, but I wanna see what all you guys think of it first
Well????From a young age,I have enjoyed reading & swimming.Painting is another hobby which involves great care,attention to detail,a deal of concentration & satisfaction in having a final product I can be proud of.Just like the great care,coordination & attention to detail exercised in pharmacology.I've always wanted to pursue a career in healthcare.I wanted a career that would make a difference to peoples lives,a career where I could do my part and contribute to society.It wasn't until I nurtured these crafts that my love for pharmacology became apparent & I knew this was the perfect career for me.
My mother,also in the healthcare profession,has showed me that pharmacy is not only a profession but at the very frontline of healthcare & a life in science.This has fuelled my interest in pharmacy.
The subjects that I have taken,biology & chemistry have aided me to fulfil my dream & take on pharmacy as a career.I find chemistry an exciting subject,dealing with substances and watching chemical reactions occur.I can carry out experiments effectively & obtain good results.I have great passion for biology,the human body is amazing.Skills in maths is required for a career in pharmacy.My maths skills include using numbers,fractions & percentages to solve problems.Although I have not studied maths at A-level,I am a keen person who will strive to overcome a challenge & will always perform to the best of my abilities.
My biomedical degree has increased my knowledge upon many disciplines such as clinical biochemistry, immunology & cellular pathology.It has provided me with the knowledge of the human body in sickness and health along with developing key skills & other attributes.This has significantly provided me with the basis for a career in the pharmaceutical industry.Carrying out project work in university has brought out my initiative,persistence & organisational skills & I have great confidence that I will benefit the community.
My problem solving and communication skills are excellent.I can communicate effectively & can apply methods & subject knowledge accurately & carefully to a given problem.This can be applied to the pharmacy degree.
Working effectively with others within a group naturally to me.This probably stems from my friendly and approachable personality & as a result I can build strong relationships within a team.These skills can be valuable in this career as pharmacists work alongside a team of doctors,nurses & physiotherapists.My listening skills are good,I listen attentively to what a person is saying and show understanding towards them,a skill which is required as a pharmacist as they need to listen to patient issues.I can work well under pressure and can easily meet deadlines.
My passion for pharmacy prompted me to find a job within a community pharmacy at a local Tesco store.I enjoyed working here,observing local pharmacists helping people daily and what a great difference it made to them.The job gave me an opportunity to gain and develop many skills such as team work,organisation & communication skills.It entailed me to deal with customers and consumer problems.Together,these skills will be valuable in a pharmacy career.Although my first language is English,my bilingual skills of being able to fluently speak Urdu & Gujarati will prove to be beneficial for me when working amongst a community whose mother tongue is not English.In addition i have always enjoyed cooking from a young age the way you can use various ingredients to make a beautiful dish.It can easily be compared to the art of pharmacy where different elements are used to make a medicinal compound,where if strawberry flavoured not only tastes good,but cures the ailment too!
Your university will foster all my talents & allow me to study pharmacy which will not only give me an opportunity to give something back to the community but will give me a rewarding career where both myself and other individuals will benefit.
W'salam
format_quote Originally Posted by *~Sofia~*
Salam sis Umm Salamah
sister *smiles*
Jazakhallah for ur feedback
wa iyyaaki, your most welcome sis.
jazaak'Allahu khayran, well to tell you the truth I won't be around any where else of the forum, just joined to see if I could help you. I know how difficult it is to complete this, as I myself have struggled with it and just finished recently..Alhamdulillah I'm happy that I could assist you even a little..p.s Welcome to the forums!
once again here's a little more help..tis up to you whether you disregard it or not sis:
ok sis I've tried to help you where I think you could work on. you don't have to agree with all the 'corrections' I've made lol I may be wrong , so insha'Allah please do correct me..but I hope that is of some help to you. and I'm sorry if I've just made some more work for you to do..lolFrom a young ageSis its a really good idea if you start off with some how mentioning the degree you're applying for, so that the application readers can be informed of your chioce from the very beginning rather than having to figure it out themselves. You may feel you're being explicit which is unnecessary as they are already aware of your subject chioce, however mentioning it in your personal statement is better, so that even you can have a systematic structure to your statement??,I have enjoyed reading & (try not to use these, its better if you actually use the word 'and') swimming. Painting is another hobby which involves great care,attention to detail,a deal of concentration & satisfaction in having a final product I can be proud of. Just like the great care,coordination & attention (you've mentioned these descriptions twice, maybe you could re arrange the sentence to say all those things without repeating the same words again? that way you can add other words you may have missed out??) to detail exercised in pharmacology. (btw, masha'Allah i love this point though) I've always wanted to pursue a career in healthcare. I wanted (here maybe you could say 'I WANT' rather than 'WANTED' as it seems like it was something you've wanted, and don't anymore as its in the past tense?? try not to say things about your future aspirations using the past, rather 'presently' or 'want to' 'will' etc..??) a career that would make a difference to peoples lives,a career where I could do my part and contribute to society. It wasn't until I nurtured these crafts that my love for pharmacology became apparent & I knew this was the perfect career for me. (masha'Allah)
My mother,also in the healthcare profession,has showed me that pharmacy is not only a profession but at the very frontline of healthcare & a life in science.This has fuelled my interest in pharmacy.
The subjects that I have taken,biology & chemistry have aided me to fulfil my dream & take on pharmacy as a career. (think about rewording this sentence, maybe something like: "The subjects that I have taken,biology ...have contributed in the fulfillment of my dream and further increased my interest to take on a career in pharmacy." (???))
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I find chemistry an exciting subject,dealing with substances and watching chemical reactions occur.I can carry out experiments effectively & obtain good results.I have great passion for biology,the human body is amazing.Skills in maths is required for a career in pharmacy.My maths skills include using numbers,fractions & percentages to solve problems.Although I have not studied maths at A-level,I am a keen person who will strive to overcome a challenge & will always perform to the best of my abilities.
My biomedical degree has increased my knowledge upon many disciplines such as clinical biochemistry, immunology & cellular pathology.It has provided me with the knowledge of the human body in sickness and health along with developing key skills & other attributes.This has significantly provided me with the basis for a career in the pharmaceutical industry.Carrying out project work in university has brought out my initiative,persistence & organisational skills & I have great confidence that I will benefit the community.
My problem solving and communication skills are excellent.I can communicate effectively & can apply methods & subject knowledge accurately & carefully to a given problem.This can be applied to the pharmacy degree.
Working effectively with others within a group naturally to me. (maybe re read this sentence? it seems like you've missed a word out? or its just incomplete?)This probably stems from my friendly and approachable personality & as a result I can build strong relationships within a team.These skills can be valuable in this career as pharmacists work alongside a team of doctors,nurses & physiotherapists.My listening skills are good,I listen attentively to what a person is saying and show understanding towards them,a skill which is required as a pharmacist as they need to listen to patient issues.I can work well under pressure and can easily meet deadlines.
My passion for pharmacy prompted me to find a job within a community pharmacy at a local Tesco store.I enjoyed working here,observing local pharmacists helping people daily and what a great difference it made to them.The job gave me an opportunity to gain and develop many skills such as team work,organisation & communication skills.It entailed me to deal with customers and consumer problems.Together,these skills will be valuable in a pharmacy career.Although my first language is English,my bilingual skills of being able to fluently speak Urdu & Gujarati will prove to be beneficial for me when working amongst a community whose mother tongue is not English.In addition i have always enjoyed cooking from a young age the way you can use various ingredients to make a beautiful dish.It can easily be compared to the art of pharmacy where different elements are used to make a medicinal compound,where if strawberry flavoured not only tastes good,but cures the ailment too!
Your university will foster all my talents & allow me to study pharmacy which will not only give me an opportunity to give something back to the community but will give me a rewarding career where both myself and other individuals will benefit. (masha'Allah)
wow! i think you've done pretty good.
but of course, theres one minor mistake.
Working effectively with others within a group comes naturally to me.Working effectively with others within a group naturally to me.
Jazakhallah again for all ur advice
Regarding the begining of the statement, another LI member thought of this beginning for me and i loved itbut my brother also said the same thing, that I shouldn't start it off this way. I thought maybe it would be a unique beginning which would catch their eye...
maybe i'll change it then but still use it within the statement...
The reason I used a lot of ---> & is coz I reallly ran out of space
^ yeh i'll do that sis, jazakallah.you've mentioned these descriptions twice, maybe you could re arrange the sentence to say all those things without repeating the same words again? that way you can add other words you may have missed out??)
^ Jazakahallh sister, but the merit shud really go to sister PurestAmbrosia(btw, masha'Allah i love this point though)
^(maybe re read this sentence? it seems like you've missed a word out? or its just incomplete?)
^ yeh sis jazakhallah again big time, u realllly have helped me out alot, and u havn't made any more work for me, u've just improved itok sis I've tried to help you where I think you could work on. you don't have to agree with all the 'corrections' I've made lol I may be wrong , so insha'Allah please do correct me..but I hope that is of some help to you. and I'm sorry if I've just made some more work for you to do..lol
owwww sis, ur soooo very sweet for joining especially to help me outwell to tell you the truth I won't be around any where else of the forum, just joined to see if I could help you. I know how difficult it is to complete this, as I myself have struggled with it and just finished recently..Alhamdulillah I'm happy that I could assist you even a little..
So sis, jazakhallah againand i'll see u round right?
W'salam :sunny:
xxx
format_quote Originally Posted by maryam11
wow! i think you've done pretty good.
but of course, theres one minor mistake.
Working effectively with others within a group comes naturally to me.
yeh i kinda missed out a word.. whoops :X but it's been corrected now and it's all good alhamdulillah
Jazakhallah for all ur help with this PS.. u've been a great help sis, and i do reallly thank you
W'salam
xxx
format_quote Originally Posted by *~Sofia~*
Jazakhallah again for all ur advice
Regarding the begining of the statement, another LI member thought of this beginning for me and i loved it
maybe i'll change it then but still use it within the statement...
Its better to do so, rather than letting it be all up to the reader to guess which subject you're applying for even though you may have mentioned it later on in your statement. Just saying it explicitly in the beginning will make it easier for them and yourself, as that way you know that they won't remain confused rather , clear and well aware of your subject chioce as well as the nature and content, throughout reading the entire statement...if that makes sense?? so insha'Allah sis I would say, maybe try including at least one sentence stating what the subject is?? like I said in mine:
'My Passion to study so and so was initiated through..' or 'has been' they're just ideas sis, again its up to you how you state that sis
lol ok sis but insha'Allah try changing them as its better if you don't use them, formality and presentation wise...The reason I used a lot of ---> & is coz I reallly ran out of space
barak'Allahu feeki , you're most welcome sis! *smiles* and lol masha'Allah to sister PurestAmbrosia too.^ yeh i'll do that sis, jazakallah.
^ Jazakahallh sister, but the merit shud really go to sister PurestAmbrosia
lol yeah..it does really help you realise mistakes that you may have missed yourself so Alhamdulillah.. an barak'Allahu feeki sis *smiles*^
*hugs* right back @ ya! barak'Allahu feekiiii again sis your most welcome Alhamdulillah that I was able to be of help to you! *smiles*^ yeh sis jazakhallah again big time, u realllly have helped me out alot, and u havn't made any more work for me, u've just improved it
lol Allahu Alam, khayr insha'Allah maybe lol @ seeing me around. Alhamdulillah sis, may Allah reward you for benefiting from help and bless you with ease in all hard and difficult tasks. Aameen!owwww sis, ur soooo very sweet for joining especially to help me out
So sis, jazakhallah again
W'salam :sunny:
xxx
barak'Allahu feeeeeeeeeekii!! lol insha'Allah *winks*
I have finally made the last changes to my PS and it's ready to be sent!
I just have to wait for my tutor to do the reference now... want him to hurry uP!
I just wanted to say Jazakhallah to everyone who helped me make my PS a good one.. specially Maryam11, PurestAmbrosia & Umm_Salamah...
All u gurlies have been sucha great help to me, giving me lots of great advice and proof-reading my work and all of it and I love u for it
I remember when i did my other statement and I saw it the other day, and I thought to myself 'Gosh what a mess!'
May Allah (swt) reward u all for ur efforts,and for helping a sis out. You are all in my du'as
After all the ffort from us all, let's pray that I actually get into one of the uni's now
Jazakhallah again gurls, love ya Fisabillilah *mwah*
xxx
Last edited by *~Sofia~*; 11-28-2007 at 09:53 AM.
format_quote Originally Posted by *~Sofia~*
I just wanted to say Jazakhallah to everyone who helped me make my PS a good one.. specially Maryam11, PurestAmbrosia & Umm_Salamah...
no probs, dear. i hope all goes well.
so, if you dont get accepted, ya not gonna blame me thenkay:
أَحَبَّكَ الَّذِي أَحْبَبْتَنِي لَهlove ya Fisabillilah
A7abaka allahu lathy a7babtani lahoo
May the One for whom you have loved me, love you (in return).
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 11-28-2007 at 09:59 AM.
format_quote Originally Posted by maryam11
no probs, dear. i hope all goes well.
so, if you dont get accepted, ya not gonna blame me then
أَحَبَّكَ الَّذِي أَحْبَبْتَنِي لَه
A7abaka allahu lathy a7babtani lahoo
May the One for whom you have loved me, love you (in return).
ohh, this is the thanks i get, huh?? last time i help you out. well, in that case, ill show ya who maryam is.lol
nah, inshallah it goes all well. when do you have to give it in, btw.
format_quote Originally Posted by maryam11
ohh, this is the thanks i get, huh?? last time i help you out. well, in that case, ill show ya who maryam is.
nah, inshallah it goes all well. when do you have to give it in, btw.
lol..i know lovey.
I just browsed through your thread now and regret I didnt think to browse through it earlier! I dont mind sending you my personal statement or CV if it will help inshAllah. Just nudge me when your online inshAllah...
Hope all goes well.
Ws.
format_quote Originally Posted by peãrl
I just browsed through your thread now and regret I didnt think to browse through it earlier! I dont mind sending you my personal statement or CV if it will help inshAllah. Just nudge me when your online inshAllah...
Hope all goes well.
Ws.
awwww don't worry bout it sis, I've kinda completed it now, so it's ok.. jazakhallah loads for the offer tho, very sweet of u
Sorry I havn't chatted to u online yet.. it's just I'm soo busy these days in my final year of uni, and then were renovatin our whole house so busy doin that... *sighs* so much to do!
But inshallah i'll chat to u real soon..Jazakhallah again for the offer.
W'salam
xxx
p.s what uni do u go to sis? if u dont mind me askin
sl: everyone..
Well my personal tutor finally wrote my reference and i sent off my application today... I have to say im kinda scared nowI reallly hope I get in to them now.. arghhh it's already nerve-wrecking!
Please remember me in ur du'as inshallah.. Jazakhallah :thankyou:
W'salam
Hope you did well.sister.
My teacher says it's best if we start keeping diaries.She says they help you recall your thoughts and you'll find it easy to put them down when the time comes...
salam,
I've been loggin in to UCAS track to see the progress, one of 5 uni's replied.. my application was unsuccesful in that one uni
I kinda thought so neway, they don't take AVCE... i have 4 other uni's left to hear from and im kinda scared lol
Really wanna get in to King's but I doubt i will
Keep me in ur du'as please... i am in need of em desperatly. Jazakhallah
W'salam
Hey I aint checked ucas for time but yea I got some little ticket vip thing from Birmingham which they give to everyone who applies I think, I am being 'considered' and 'shouldnt worry if I dont hear from them' lol. This whole waiting game is killing me. Argh
as-Salaamu'alaykum wa-Rahmatullaah!!
I'll make sure I do InshaAllaah. I'm kinda in the same boat, only I applied really late and the offers aren't here yet.format_quote Originally Posted by *~Sofia~*Really wanna get in to King's but I doubt i will
Keep me in ur du'as please... i am in need of em desperatly. Jazakhallah
When did you submit your application btw? I like done my one 2 weeks ago, which was really late. InshaAllaah we'll all get replies... with acceptance!format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshilol
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