format_quote Originally Posted by
Mustafa16
I'm in the same boat, brother, I wish I could get married, but I'm only 18 bordering 19, and haven't finished my degree, don't have a driver's license, don't have a career, (although I'll get my license inshaAllah in about a week), but you know, you have to be pulled to the person first, then build a romance, then build love, and THEN you have to stick with the person even if they develop unattractiveness such as gain of weight, baldness, illness, etc. That's not from the beginning. If the girl already loves you, she'll already stay with you through thick and thin, and the same applies to men. Be careful what you wish for, because we all age, and we all get unattractive and unpleasant, and we all gain weight, attractiveness is the tip of the iceberg, the important part is whether or not 1) you are drawn to the person in the first place 2) you end up falling in love in a halal manner and marrying in a halal manner 3) you have the RESOURCES (through education, I know this is a difficult pill to swallow, but I had to learn, too) and 4) you continue to love each other and have a healthy relationship I know it's hard brother, as one sheikh says, "unless you don't have hormones, we all have desires and fitnah" but the end result is going to be the same, and Allah is with the patient.........try going on a diet to lower libido, try avoiding social media, try online college (some shaikhs saying going to mixed university is haram anyway....i dont blame them.......) try googling the zikr phrase that is equivalent to 6 hours of prayer (in authentic hadeeth), try other zikr phrases as well, just google them, some are more noble than others, try memorizing Allah aza wa jal's 99 names like I am, try getting a job and learning to drive if you have not already done so, to be more self sufficient, but if free mixing is too much work in an islamic organization......but dude i feel your pain, i suffered a lot and i have severe mental illnesses like severe anxiety,, OCD, autism, ADHD that cannot be treated with medication, etc. to make it worse.......we're all in the same boat, but just be patient
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