Is there anything good about being single?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:wasalamex

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
Maybe not the right section. I have been reading so much about marriage. But until i do get married, is there anything good about being single?

there would be alot no doubt about it, but at the same time, there are negatives about it, as well. So, i think both marriage and single life have their equal negatives and positives.
i say whether or not there is good to being single, if you have found the right person, and you feel ready for marriage, etc, then go for it, and don't waste time, right?

Sometimes it seems a simple case of....... single people wanting to get married and........... married people wanting to get single.

I feel there is so much hype in getting married, and then not turning out the way you wanted it to be.

i get what you mean. for me personally, marriage scares me a little, and to be honest, i dont see what the hype is in getting married. i mean its sweet and cute, etc, don't get me wrong. but there is also a responsibly which for some reason people seem to ignore, and hence have this whole rosy/fairy tale, out of touch with reality idea of it. i dont mean to sound negative or rude or anything, but alot of people don't seem to approach the whole idea of marriage in a balanced way, imo. and i think that's were all the "hype" comes from...i mean, its important to know that when you get married, its not all going to be "happy days" right?

Only because usually those that really want to get married spend their single days wishing they were married and not getting themselves ready for things that come after it. If people educated themselves about marriage, from an Islamic perspective and from other variant perspectives as well such as psychological etc, as they would for any other thing in life, they can make it work out very well.

So it's how you utilize your time that can make it good or bad. If you spend your single days moping about how you're not married and aren't doing anything about it, then you're going to be very miserable. However, if you spent that time using your desire for marriage and companionship into proactively learning about marriage and training yourself for it, it's going to get good now and down the line Insha'Allaah. Personally, I hate being single, but I try not to let that get into the way of me doing things that I need to do and working my way towards a married life.

I think that there are things we can do in our singledom which we cannot do during marriage. Especially with refence to things involving our deen and Iman.

Whilst you are single, you are supposed to grow spiritually, as much as you can and do dawah and just seek knowledge etc.

After you are married, you are restricted in many ways. Family life takes a toll on you and you work out new ways to grow spiritually etc. Serving your family becomes a way of expressive your love and respect for you deen etc.

So the best of both worlds is what you should be looking for, bro.

On a practical level, both are hard and easy. It is all about getting to know yourself in relation to yourself and then getting to know yourself in relation to living with your partner. You are, essentially, a whole new person. While you are single you might hate being alone. Then when you get married, you might pray for a lonely minute. So are you a person who likes or dislikes alone time? Both. Two different people in two different worlds.

agreed...

 

[noorseeker]

I always have this image of im making my wife happy everyday , making her laugh and joke, everythinh cushy, but i doubt marriage will be like that everyday,

Because im not in a positon to get married, have to most likely wait post 30, it makes me value it even more,

 

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

:salamext:

I agree with Abu Sayyad wholeheartedly, on every point.

• You can dedicate a bit more time to your ibadah that you would otherwise give to your spouse, his/her family, and his/her friends. (I know, marriage is ibadah too, but you'll miss being able to read 1 juz or whatever a day when you're married.)

:wasalamex

I really don't see why you can't read even more than 1 juz a day when you're married. If people blame this on marriage, they're really just looking for excuses. I think we should start to wonder what's wrong with our marriages, if we are distracting each other to the extent that we don't even have time to read the book of Allaah. Just my two cents.

 

[crayon]

Both being single and being married have advantages and disadvantages.
The only way we can be truly happy is to love the stage of life we're currently experiencing.
You spend your single life wishing you were married, then when you get married, when the first couple of lovey dovey months are over, you start missing being single and independent.

Each part of your life is different, has different pleasures, different responsibilities, different disadvantages. But we have to live through every single one of those stages. If we're constantly rushing ahead to the next stage, or longing for the previous stage, you can never fully experience and live the stage you're currently at.

When you're a kid, enjoy being a kid, and live that stage of your life.
When you're an adult, enjoy being an adult, and live that stage of your life.

When you don't have a job, not having one, and live that stage of your life.
When you have a job, enjoy having one, and live that stage of your life.

When you're single, enjoy being single, and live that stage of your life.
When you're married, enjoy being married, and live that stage of your life.

The same reasoning can be applied to every single aspect of life. One stage isn't better or worse than the other, it's simply different.
I hope my ramblings made some sense to someone other than me..

 

[S_87]

They are men who have devoted their lives to dawah though. Marriage would just be a constraint and tie them to this world rather than the hereafter.

^this is wrong.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven."
Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)."
Bukhari

 

[noorseeker]

Both being single and being married have advantages and disadvantages.
The only way we can be truly happy is to love the stage of life we're currently experiencing.
You spend your single life wishing you were married, then when you get married, when the first couple of lovey dovey months are over, you start missing being single and independent.

Each part of your life is different, has different pleasures, different responsibilities, different disadvantages. But we have to live through every single one of those stages. If we're constantly rushing ahead to the next stage, or longing for the previous stage, you can never fully experience and live the stage you're currently at.

When you're a kid, enjoy being a kid, and live that stage of your life.
When you're an adult, enjoy being an adult, and live that stage of your life.

When you don't have a job, not having one, and live that stage of your life.
When you have a job, enjoy having one, and live that stage of your life.

When you're single, enjoy being single, and live that stage of your life.
When you're married, enjoy being married, and live that stage of your life.

The same reasoning can be applied to every single aspect of life. One stage isn't better or worse than the other, it's simply different.
I hope my ramblings made some sense to someone other than me..

Great advice JazakAllah khayran

 

[Pomak]

^this is wrong.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven."
Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)."
Bukhari

Are you sure you don't want to add anything?

 

[S_87]

Are you sure you don't want to add anything?

i think the hadith says it all, dont you

 

[Hafswa]

Both being single and being married have advantages and disadvantages.
The only way we can be truly happy is to love the stage of life we're currently experiencing.
You spend your single life wishing you were married, then when you get married, when the first couple of lovey dovey months are over, you start missing being single and independent.

Each part of your life is different, has different pleasures, different responsibilities, different disadvantages. But we have to live through every single one of those stages. If we're constantly rushing ahead to the next stage, or longing for the previous stage, you can never fully experience and live the stage you're currently at.

When you're a kid, enjoy being a kid, and live that stage of your life.
When you're an adult, enjoy being an adult, and live that stage of your life.

When you don't have a job, not having one, and live that stage of your life.
When you have a job, enjoy having one, and live that stage of your life.

When you're single, enjoy being single, and live that stage of your life.
When you're married, enjoy being married, and live that stage of your life.

The same reasoning can be applied to every single aspect of life. One stage isn't better or worse than the other, it's simply different.
I hope my ramblings made some sense to someone other than me..

Well said sis :awesome:..... we can never have our cake and eat it all too

 

[Pomak]

i think the hadith says it all, dont you

So i take it your making Takfeer on Said Nursi? (He didn't marry or grow a beard, both of which are sunnah at bare minimum)

Because frankly thats how i read that hadith, with no commentary or further input.

 

[MO783]

This depends on the individual I guess but I want to marry, im tired of being single

imsad

 

[sevgi]

i think the hadith says it all, dont you

Sis, you don't even know who we are talking about.

 

[S_87]

So i take it your making Takfeer on Said Nursi? (He didn't marry or grow a beard, both of which are sunnah at bare minimum)

Because frankly thats how i read that hadith, with no commentary or further input.

i didnt make tafkir of him SubhanAllah i dont even know who he is. I intentionally took out his name from the quote and only made comment on the part of the quote i was speaking about. And what i was saying was that marriage is part of the deen and it is not piety or devotion to the hereafter to not marry as the hadith clearly states..which in summary was about men who wanted to do things which they thought would bring them piety and Muhammed :arabic5: corrected them..and with regards to staying away from women said:

By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me

and He is the best of examples.

 

[Hafswa]

This depends on the individual I guess but I want to marry, im tired of being single

imsad

Will make du'a for you

 

[S_87]

Sis, you don't even know who we are talking about.

yes i know i dont know who you are talking about which is why i didnt comment on HIM but i commented on your quote

 

[sevgi]

i didnt make tafkir of him SubhanAllah i dont even know who he is. I intentionally took out his name from the quote and only made comment on the part of the quote i was speaking about. And what i was saying was that marriage is part of the deen and it is not piety or devotion to the hereafter to not marry as the hadith clearly states..which in summary was about men who wanted to do things which they thought would bring them piety and Muhammed :arabic5: corrected them..and with regards to staying away from women said:



and He is the best of examples.

So if you cannot or do not follow one of his examples, it means that you do not think he is the best of examples?

 

[sevgi]

yes i know i dont know who you are talking about which is why i didnt comment on HIM but i commented on your quote

Your quote said that what i said about these men WAS NOT TRUE and that they WERE NOT OF OUR PROPHET.

If you don't know their circumstances, just keep to yourself.

 

[S_87]

So if you cannot or do not follow one of his examples, it means that you do not think he is the best of examples?

not at all but you said:

They are men who have devoted their lives to dawah though. Marriage would just be a constraint and tie them to this world rather than the hereafter.

which i understand as they left marriage as a choice as it would have been an obstacle in their striving for the aakhirah.

 

[S_87]

Your quote said that what i said about these men WAS NOT TRUE and that they WERE NOT OF OUR PROPHET.

If you don't know their circumstances, just keep to yourself.

so what exactly did you mean by your quote? ^o)

 

[sevgi]

Read their biographies and their works and you will understand. I'm no preacher. There is no way I can explain this to you without you knowing who and what they are.