to date or not to date

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yusuf18

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i use to date women and mix with the opposite sex but allhamdilliah im startin practicing could any of you give me advise to meet sisters without dateing becouse its haram
 
yusuf18 said:
i use to date women and mix with the opposite sex but allhamdilliah im startin practicing could any of you give me advise to meet sisters without dateing becouse its haram
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Thanks 2 Allah u stopped .why not family friends local mosque inshallah
 
yusuf18 said:
the ones that came for marriage i didnt realy want lol for me i want a realy beatuiful woman and she must have faith
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assalaamu alaykum akhi,

maybe you worded it wrongly but you seem to have the wrong priority.

if you look for a beautiful wife who is also practicing then looks are your first priority and you will therefore look at all the attractive women who are marriageable and choose one who is practicing enough even if there are problems in her deen.

but if you do things the opposite way it is better for you, look for a sister with good deen, the right aqeedah and manhaj, practicing upon the Quran and Sunnah and then from the sisters who are like this choose one who is pretty enough and you feel attracted to.

you understand?
 
Dawud_uk said:
assalaamu alaykum akhi,

maybe you worded it wrongly but you seem to have the wrong priority.

if you look for a beautiful wife who is also practicing then looks are your first priority and you will therefore look at all the attractive women who are marriageable and choose one who is practicing enough even if there are problems in her deen.

but if you do things the opposite way it is better for you, look for a sister with good deen, the right aqeedah and manhaj, practicing upon the Quran and Sunnah and then from the sisters who are like this choose one who is pretty enough and you feel attracted to.

you understand?
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yes i know were u comeing from ahki but i want a beautiful wife doe if that wrong
 
To be or not be be, that is teh question.

I've found that good things come to those who wait, I've also found that in bettering oneself lies a great reward.

You say you've started practising, alhamdulillah, continue striving insha'Allah and see what Allah (swt) has in store for you.

If possible - fast!
 
Inaayah said:
To be or not be be, that is teh question.

I've found that good things come to those who wait, I've also found that in bettering oneself lies a great reward.

You say you've started practising, alhamdulillah, continue striving insha'Allah and see what Allah (swt) has in store for you.

If possible - fast!
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but i dont know hw to go about it since dateing is haram^o)
 
yusuf18 said:
but i dont know hw to go about it since dateing is haram^o)
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Yeh ano, what I'm trying to say is that maybe you need to focus on other things before that.

Or, ask/tell your parents, go visit the local Imam etc etc
 
dude, to everyone but you, it is clear that you are after women for the wrong reason...

You have made a great step so far, alhamdulillah, don't get me wrong.

Don't think about women until you are ready to look after a baby 12 hours a day. Like your life is taken from you and then the woman and the kid depend on you for everything after Allah. Are you really ready for that man? Or did you just want a beautiful woman?
 
:sl:
yusuf18 said:
but i dont know hw to go about it since dateing is haram^o)
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im not sure why you think you need to date a girl for you to know her. this is done in front of her mahrams. you can get to adequately know her through them.

although i am all for marrying someone you find attractive, i will also say that to mainly focus on this, is quite ridiculous, because shes gonna get old, and she isn't going to be as pretty as she used to be.
so make sure that your priories in a wife are equal and not all tilted to one side. because people can be good looking and all, but may have no idea on how to be a good spouse!
 
Khalil_Allah said:
dude, to everyone but you, it is clear that you are after women for the wrong reason...

You have made a great step so far, alhamdulillah, don't get me wrong.

Don't think about women until you are ready to look after a baby 12 hours a day. Like your life is taken from you and then the woman and the kid depend on you for everything after Allah. Are you really ready for that man? Or did you just want a beautiful woman?
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yes i do babies come later but i dont want to do zina haram way
 
man, but it isn't about having a beautiful woman. It is about finding a woman with whom you can raise children.

I can see that your intentions are good, mashaAllah. You don't want to date or commit zina, and you are very wise to have changed your ways. Zina is a terrible sin, and you must beg Allah for forgiveness if you do this. Dating is bad because it just messes you up. Why go into a relationship and give your hearts to each other with no purpose? it only ends in pain. You have discovered this from experience and hopefully stopped before you committed zina, mashAllah.

I will be real man, we all want beautiful women... men are designed this way. But if you find a girl and marry her because she is beautiful, you're going to be disappointed.

A) she is going to get fat when she is pregnant. She is going to be like "OMG I WANT PIZZA AND ICE CREAM NOW AND I WANT TO EAT IT IN BED" and you are going to be totally grossed out. And you better go get it too, or else she will be fat AND angry with you.

B) She is going to get older. If you marry her because she is beautiful, then the person you married is going to disappear. And you are going to be like 40 and wonder why you're just not happy with her anymore. You'll start looking at 20-year-olds and start thinking how you're going to buy a second house to provide for a second wife who will bring back that "flame" in your life.

The Messenger of Allaah said, “A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
^
That is real.
 
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Khalil_Allah said:
man, but it isn't about having a beautiful woman. It is about finding a woman with whom you can raise children.

I can see that your intentions are good, mashaAllah. You don't want to date or commit zina, and you are very wise to have changed your ways. Zina is a terrible sin, and you must beg Allah for forgiveness if you do this. Dating is bad because it just messes you up. Why go into a relationship and give your hearts to each other with no purpose? it only ends in pain. You have discovered this from experience and hopefully stopped before you committed zina, mashAllah.

I will be real man, we all want beautiful women... men are designed this way. But if you find a girl and marry her because she is beautiful, you're going to be disappointed.

A) she is going to get fat when she is pregnant. She is going to be like "OMG I WANT PIZZA AND ICE CREAM NOW AND I WANT TO EAT IT IN BED" and you are going to be totally grossed out. And you better go get it too, or else she will be fat AND angry with you.

B) She is going to get older. If you marry her because she is beautiful, then the person you married is going to disappear. And you are going to be like 40 and wonder why you're just not happy with her anymore. You'll start looking at 20-year-olds and start thinking how you're going to buy a second house to provide for a second wife who will bring back that "flame" in your life.

The Messenger of Allaah said, “A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
^
That is real.
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true ahki but i will deal with that when it comes but im 18 and my hormones are on rought i want to do zina the only thing thats stopping me is fear from allah so i have to do it the hallal way im sure you can relate to me
 
I can relate brother. I really can!

You gotta fast man. It is Monday and I am fasting today for exactly what you are talking about.

I like you brother! You keep it real man.

May Allah grant us both pious wives!
 
Khalil_Allah said:
I can relate brother. I really can!

You gotta fast man. It is Monday and I am fasting today for exactly what you are talking about.

I like you brother! You keep it real man.

May Allah grant us both pious wives!
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ameeeeeen even if i fast i carnt control lol inshallah i will get married this year:thumbs_up
 

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