Jealousy

[Lonely Gal]

Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

stop them from doing whatevers making you jelous



or on a more serious note...


you can simply try achieve greater things in life and be content wiv knowing theres always al akhirah

 

[zakirs]

Rule 1: Never compare your life with others.Both of you are diff entities and shouldnot be compared. Ex: he has rich parents and i am very poor

Rule 2: Analyze why you are behind rather being jealous. Ex: he got better marks than me ( rather you shud have studied)

Rule 3: Pray to allah to help you over come this..


Note: I am also like you and have slight problem with jealousy.Hope we get over this inshaallah.

Allah says: "Allah favored some of you over others with wealth and properties… Do they deny the favors of Allah?" [Soorah an-Nahl (16): 71] And: "Do they envy men for what Allah has given them of His Bounty?" [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 54]

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Envy is allowed in two cases, in case of a man whom Allah has given the Qur'aan and who recites it throughout night and day; and a man on whom Allah has bestowed wealth who gives it away throughout night and day." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim] and he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) also explained what may be said: "I wish I were given what he was given and did with it what he did."

Firstly, the believer should have sincerity in repenting from Hasad as Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Three things that every heart of a believer should not hate to have is sincerity in actions, rendering advise to leaders and holding to Jama'ah (community) of the Muslims, for their supplication surrounds everyone with them." [Ahmad and Ibn Majah]

Supplicate to Allah to purify your heart. Allah said in the Qur'aan: "And those who came after them say: 'Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, Most Merciful." [Soorah al-Hashr (59): 10]

 

[noorseeker]

We all get jealous from time to time,

You just have to be content with what you have, and realise you have more than others.

Im working on it myself, If you notice people who are successful are the ones who dont look what others have got, they concentrate on their selves.

Be that be someone who is chasing the dunya or the akhira

 

[Innocent Soul]

Assalamualaikum
Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this

What type of jealousy?
Jealousy in Wealth
Jealousy in Marks
Jealouse of their life

 

[CosmicPathos]

If you are getting jealous cuz of "injustices" being done to you. Like not getting into a school of your choice despite having amazing marks while others with lower marks got in ... it can only be removed by hoping for a perfect Justice on Qiyama. Allah (swt) will bring those authorities to justice on qiyamah.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Feelings such as this come about due to weak realisation of Allah or you have this realisation but your nafs and the shaytan have clouded your spiritual vision so that you are not able to see this world for the test that it is. If you could see with your eyes that Allah was real and his heaven and hell was real, there is no chance you would ever feel even a hint of jealousy. In fact, you'd go out of your way to avoid wanting anything from this dunya and look to the akirah instead. I know of several men who had this realisation. One special person who did was the Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihe Wasalam. You'll see he didn't care even an iota for this dunya. His concern was always with the spiritual well-being of all muslims. He lived in a state of abstinence. Constantly fasting. Sleeping on the floor etc. All these actions could not have come about unless the world meant nothing to him. Why did the world mean nothing, then? Cos he had absolute realisation that there is nothing of real benefit in this world. He had absolute realisation that Allah is real.

Strive to strenghten your connection with Allah and lose your love for this dunya. Everything happens for a reason and Allah is Most wise. This world is only a temporary abode and there is nothing of value here to be jealous about.

 

[ardianto]

Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this

Remind me to proverb "Neighbor's grass is always look greener"

You always thinking your neighbor's grass is greener than yours. But you never realize, actually your neighbor is always thinking if your grass is greener.

 

[Supreme]

I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.

 

[ardianto]

I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.

Caucasians are taller than Mongoloid like me.
I am 5'7, and in my place many people are shorter than me.
I also have few non-mongoloid friends who more than 6' height. However, they are not Caucasians but Arabs.

 

[glo]

I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.

At least you are not praying to God to make your friends shrink!

Lonely Gal, you've had some great advice in this thread.
I think as we get older and mature and become more confident in who we are, jealousy often lessens.
Chances are, you have many wonderful qualities and you have no need to be jealous!
Chances are those very people you are jealous of, have their own reasons for being jealous of you.

 

[جوري]

During one of our rotations me and my friend were commenting about this resident who appeared to be perfect in every way, the girl who had it all, we eventually became friends with her and found out, that she has kidney disease in her family.. that her father had died of it, and that she had donated a kidney to her brother but that he had died 5 years post transplant which put a strain on her relationship with her husband who separated from her .. she appeared so happy and beautiful but the fact is she was in a heap of debt and had a miserable life...

Sometimes what your mind conceives to be true superficially is far from the truth.. everyone has some sort of private hell which they don't like to share (unless chronic complainers)) and thinks everyone else is better off!

It is best to focus on how you can be the best you, you can be, than what you perceive others to have which you feel you as well should be entitled to.. Allah swt doesn't give us more than our soul can bear..

Patience over ill is also a part of strong faith..

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I'm also a jealous person. The thing I get most jealous about is height- I'm 5'7, yet lots of my friends are taller than me (although not all of them). I am jealous because they are tall. I pray to God I'll either a) grow taller or b) learn to deal with, accept and be happy with my height, but I'm struggling with that.

hi
im 5'5

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, Rasuallah (Pbuh) advice was to always think of those who are less fortunate than you. Put yourself in their position and you will realise how lucky you really are.

Imagine if you were born in poverty?
Imagine if you were born with a debilitating and disfiguring disease?
Imagine if you were born in a war torn country?
Imagine if you were born with there is massacre and oppression of the people?
Imagine if you were born a non believer?
Imagine if you were born with no parents and was adopted?

You are much luckier than most people in this world. Just look at what they have in comparison with what you have.

Don't be fooled into thinking that those who have better looks or have more materialistic wealth are happy because When we look at people around us we don't know what they are going through in their life. They could be going through the worst experiences that we can never imagine. This is what shaythan wants you to think. He is decieving you.

Wealth and beauty to not bring happiness. Contentment, happiness, peace and tranquility are ONLY found with the remembrace of Allah!

So we should thank Allah constantly for what he has given us.Out of all the people in this world look at what he has given us? Do we go days without eating? Do we struggle to find clean and drinkable water? Do we have families around us? Do we have shelter to live in? Are you disabled or have a terrible disease? Why do we not thank Allah that he has created us without all of these terrible things in our lives?

The best thing of all is that we have been given imaan(faith) and that is something so unique and amazing more than we can ever imagine.

Not everyone has been given imaan and not all those who are given imaan die with imaan so it is crucial that we obey the commandments of Allah and remember him as much as we cna so that we can be successful in this world and the next.

So thank Allah as much as you can and do not be an ungrateful servant for we have MUCH more than most people Allah has created!

Always thank Allah for EVERYTHING

A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, I asked, “Messenger of Allah, why do you exert yourself so much while all your sins have been forgiven?” To this he replied, “`A’ishah, should I not be a grateful servant of Allah?” (Muslim).

Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Allah is pleased with His slave who says: `Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah)’ when he takes a morsel of food and drinks a draught of water.” (Muslim)

Allah will increase us the more thankful we are to him

-Allah likes those who are thankful [39:7]

-Allah rewards those who are thankful [3:144]

-Allah gives more benefits and blessings to those who are thankful [14:7]

-Allah protects those from harm who render Him thankfulness [54:34-35]

Dua to make in every dua to become of the appreciative

Allahumma a-inni ala Zikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatik

(O Allah! Help me to remember you, to thank you, and to worship you in the best of manners)

Thanking people

The Prophet (Peace be upon him)said, Whoever has a favour done for him and says ‘Jazaak Allahu khayran‘ has done his utmost to thank him. (At-Tirmithi)

 

[Supreme]

At least you are not praying to God to make your friends shrink!

To be honest, that would do just as well! Not just my friends though, the general populace!;D

hi
im 5'5

That's what I've always admired about Islam. The general lack of regard to how others look. If I lived in a Muslim country, rest assured I wouldn't let my height get me down as it doesn't matter in Islamic society. But in the West, you can't help but feel upset if you don't look like a movie star and you let it get to you psychologically. The worst thing about the West is its vanity. I don't feel like a proper 'complete' human being thanks to my relatively small height, however crazy that sounds.

Caucasians are taller than Mongoloid like me.
I am 5'7, and in my place many people are shorter than me.
I also have few non-mongoloid friends who more than 6' height. However, they are not Caucasians but Arabs.

Oh yes, in Indonesia the average height is 5'5 for men so I'd be rather tall! I also have friends over 6', many of them in fact.

 

[Cabdullahi]

To be honest, that would do just as well! Not just my friends though, the general populace!;D




That's what I've always admired about Islam. The general lack of regard to how others look. If I lived in a Muslim country, rest assured I wouldn't let my height get me down as it doesn't matter in Islamic society. But in the West, you can't help but feel upset if you don't look like a movie star and you let it get to you psychologically. The worst thing about the West is its vanity. I don't feel like a proper 'complete' human being thanks to my relatively small height, however crazy that sounds.

This is changing in many Muslim countries because they're accepting the western lifestyle more and more and the satellite channels beamed to them are American ones.....so now vanity is pretty much alive

 

[cat eyes]

Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this

it depends what your jealous of? every type of jealousy is a sin

but there is one type of jealousy that is a lot of danger to muslims and that is being jealous of the disbelievers.

the problem with jealousy is that it makes us want to strive harder to be like that person we are jealous of and can sometimes have serious consequences

 

[CosmicPathos]

To be honest, that would do just as well! Not just my friends though, the general populace!;D




That's what I've always admired about Islam. The general lack of regard to how others look. If I lived in a Muslim country, rest assured I wouldn't let my height get me down as it doesn't matter in Islamic society. But in the West, you can't help but feel upset if you don't look like a movie star and you let it get to you psychologically. The worst thing about the West is its vanity. I don't feel like a proper 'complete' human being thanks to my relatively small height, however crazy that sounds.



Oh yes, in Indonesia the average height is 5'5 for men so I'd be rather tall! I also have friends over 6', many of them in fact.

Ooh trust me, you are wrong. Allhamdulillah, all of us brothers in family are above 6 feet tall and thats very rare among Pakistanis . The youngest is the tallest at about 6'5''? I am the eldest and stuck at 6'1''.

As I grew up, we have always been a "target" of criticism by "cultural" Pakistani Muslims who were religious too though. Well they seemed to praise us as we were growing up but I did always feel that there was some jealousy/envy as their children were not that tall ... Allah knows their intentions ... but I was always scared of getting evil eye from people. Like my dad would share our good performance at school with others and I would tell my dad to not do it as I always felt that I'll get the evil eye from Muslims around me .... and sometimes I did ....

Even these days I get comments from people who know us that "how taller will he get?!!"

So yea, its not all green here. But religious Muslims have never cared about such matters and in that sense you are right, Islam does not care about this.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Im very jealous of certain people in life.. i feel bad for feelin like this and i know its wrong.. how do i overcome this

jealously is a disease. how would you like it if you were in the shoes of one who was always receiving those bad vibes from people? would you like this to happen to you?

so what if people have what you dont? whats going to happen? all you are going to do is :'( about it but so what, has that gotten you what you want? seriously, what can you do about what others have that you want? cant you look at what you have that people dont have? why waste your time crying over something that isnt in your control to begin with? why dont you focus on more appropriate things instead of looking at what people have, you'll feel more at ease. increase your iman so that you have better things to worry about and that you look at things in perspective.

sorry, i dont mean to be harsh but really jealously is a disease

 

[Lonely Gal]

jealous of the happiness people have, esp my friend.. the good lives they read..
I mean i try to stay on the right path as much as possible with prayer etc and i seem to still have lots of heartache and pain in my life. whereas others that don't go along with Islam are getting everything frm life and living happily..
i know it sounds really messed up.. im jus being honest how i feel