Would you agree to move in together with your husband's family?

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Would you agree to move in together with your husband's family?

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Assalamualikum,
Wow u sisters are sayin that u will not live wit husband's family and ur given a choice..and in bangladesh..or bengali families..there is no choice..u get married and live wit ur in-laws..which in turn causes problems..and the girls can't get out of it..inshallah i hope i don't hv to live with my in-laws like in the same apartment..in a separate apartment same buildin is also fine with me..but yes the privacy thing counts and also if husband has any siblings then it's a problem
 
Yes the siblings can be a big issue which is another reason why people should communicate with each other before marriage about who will be living together.
 
Souljette said:
Assalamualikum,
Wow u sisters are sayin that u will not live wit husband's family and ur given a choice..and in bangladesh..or bengali families..there is no choice..u get married and live wit ur in-laws.
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Thats highly inaccurate to say that all bengali families/husbands force there wives to live with there in laws Sister
 
S<Chowdhury said:
Thats highly inaccurate to say that all bengali families/husbands force there wives to live with there in laws Sister
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Whether it's common or not that clearly should not happen and it's simply wrong furthermore it's violating the rights of the wife.
:wa:
 
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Souljette said:
Assalamualikum,
Wow u sisters are sayin that u will not live wit husband's family and ur given a choice..and in bangladesh..or bengali families..there is no choice..u get married and live wit ur in-laws..which in turn causes problems..and the girls can't get out of it..inshallah i hope i don't hv to live with my in-laws like in the same apartment..in a separate apartment same buildin is also fine with me..but yes the privacy thing counts and also if husband has any siblings then it's a problem
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:wa: Like I said before sis, it's a cultural practice. In my culture, women have a voice and can protest about things if it goes against the deen. Living with my husband's mother didn't even seem like an option to me because marriage to me is starting another life. It seems selfish, to me, to live with your husband's in laws but not you're own? I mean there's nothing wrong with it if you're having trouble financially and what not or the situation you're in calls for it, but it can really cause a strain on your marriage. You could get into it with your mother in law, would you expect your husband to take your side? To avoid that happening altogether, move in together when you have a secure home for the both of you inshaAllaah. :)
 
_muslim_ said:
The wife is not obliged to serve her husband's parents Islamically.

Edit: It is not obligatory for a woman to serve her husband’s father or mother, or any of his relatives. But it is the matter of chivalry and good manners, if she is in the house, to serve his parents. But with regard to forcing her to do that, it is not permissible for her husband to force her to do that, and it is not a duty upon her.

Source: http://islam-qa.com/en/ref/8801/
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yes sister, i agree with u...but this is a norm..ur expected to help ur in-laws...and its her duty...yes...have u heard of Ibrahim AS story about his father...
 
.............................................Isn't it ironic that during winter the sunshine only increases the coldness :hmm:
 
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Assalamualikum,
Yes like Sis Muslim said it is something of good behaviour and manners and also Bro Chowdhury..i live in bangladesh now and i have seen families that if they separate away from the husband's family ..the family thinks there is something rong or they backbite..i'm not generalizing there mite b families who aren't like tht..but from what i see there aren't..i tell my family that i wll live separate with my husband and they give me this look like WHAT.. then again nowadays things are changin i guess.. i see the problems arisin in joint family's...it's better to stay separate and happy and being together and miserable.. u know what i mean but Allah knows best
 
Assalamualikum,
Yes like Sis Muslim said it is something of good behaviour and manners and also Bro Chowdhury..i live in bangladesh now and i have seen families that if they separate away from the husband's family ..the family thinks there is something rong or they backbite..i'm not generalizing there mite b families who aren't like tht..but from what i see there aren't..i tell my family that i wll live separate with my husband and they give me this look like WHAT.. then again nowadays things are changin i guess.. i see the problems arisin in joint family's...it's better to stay separate and happy and being together and miserable.. u know what i mean but Allah knows best
 
Souljette said:
Assalamualikum,
i live in bangladesh now and i have seen families that if they separate away from the husband's family ..the family thinks there is something rong or they backbite..i'm not generalizing there mite b families who aren't like tht..but from what i see there aren't..i
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Fair enough sister, i shouldn't of jumped to conclusion that you were generalising.

Souljette said:
tell my family that i wll live separate with my husband and they give me this look like WHAT.. then again nowadays things are changin i guess.. i see the problems arisin in joint family's...it's better to stay separate and happy and being together and miserable.. u know what i mean but Allah knows best
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Mhmm i understand your point of view, i agree things are changing. But i feel throughout this thread joint family lifestyle is being portrayed in a bad light, correct me if I'm wrong but many of you probably never lived in a joint family under the same roof. I actually have when my family first moved to this country i lived with my cousins for sometime and when ever i go back to Bangladesh my family live in one building, and to be honest i loved it when i was young and sort of still do when i go back to Bangladesh. My cousin here because we grew up together in the same household there seems to be a much greater bond between us, yes we still argued, but the relationship between family is always stronger.

The words "Miserable, Unhappy " etc have been thrown round alot. I know it sounds daunting for people especially in the west to comprehend the idea of having family around especially in-laws around all the time, but it can be happy and a pleasant time, my cousins marriage hasn't broken because they live in with there in-laws. Its natural for people to argue in a family stop BEING SO AFRAID its a family get use to it, obviously do try and avoid angering them :hmm:.
 
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Chivalry and good manners are a choice, respecting your in laws is an obligation but I see what you are all saying and everyone brings up valid points
 
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...................................Why is the name of the movie Mamma Mia!? The daughter's name is Sophie and not Mia <_<
 
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...................................I haven't eaten anything this morning except for my fav delicious nuts :statisfie
 
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Assalamualikum,
Bro Chowdhury, yes i guess a person can become defensive when joint family is put under negative light but it has both sides.. joint families Are fun when you are little ..and u have this bond.. u see all this people and you love it..but when you grow up .. then you have to learn your limits the same people you were so close to ..you grow up and you have to act differently with them.. i was out of bangladesh for a while and i'm used to havin my privacy so coming to bd and seeing all this is overwhelming..

if a sister wants to live islamically or a brother wants to live islamically then..a joint family is rarely what they would want.. i'm not sayin separate away from the family ..i'm sayin live in the same buildin even but not under the same roof as the sister won't have any privacy whatsoever..and it would be hard on the sister.
 
Souljette said:
Assalamualikum,
Bro Chowdhury, yes i guess a person can become defensive when joint family is put under negative light but it has both sides.. joint families Are fun when you are little ..and u have this bond.. u see all this people and you love it..but when you grow up .. then you have to learn your limits the same people you were so close to ..you grow up and you have to act differently with them.. i was out of bangladesh for a while and i'm used to havin my privacy so coming to bd and seeing all this is overwhelming..

if a sister wants to live islamically or a brother wants to live islamically then..a joint family is rarely what they would want.. i'm not sayin separate away from the family ..i'm sayin live in the same buildin even but not under the same roof as the sister won't have any privacy whatsoever..and it would be hard on the sister.
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Yeah i guess when your little its much more fun, true sister in terms of a woman's perspective its pretty hard getting some privacy.....:hmm:. Its over preference really some people enjoy living in big families whilst other really don't. And i actually found an article saying Living with in-laws 'increases women's risk of heart disease:hmm:.
 

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