The Marriage Thread

[Italianguy]

Naan... maybe buy from the shop but biryani isn't too hard to make, yea maybe you can ask mother in law to teach you but tell her not to tell your wife

Cooking anything is hard for me.lol I have to learn that not everything is cooked on the highest temp on the stove:embarrass

I can make rice in the rice cooker though! I am awesome at that! Of course all you have to do is pour a couple cups of rice in add some water and turn it on and Waallaa...Rice! I think i am a chef now;D

 

[Italianguy]

12)Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family

That is so true bro, we shouldn't think we are the masters of the universe because we bring money home. She does just as much work as I. Heck, if she was gone for a week, the house would fall apart, and I would probably die of starvation^o)

 

[-Fallen Angel-]

The shop naans taste awful, if your gonna buy it buy it from a proper Indian restaurant freshly made

There are quite a few shops around here that make fresh naan and i sometimes get buy from there, taste good to me.
I should have added 'fresh', i really hate the ones that are pre-made

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Here is a tough question, how do you get your mother around the idea of you marrying if she doesn't like the wife you've chosen ? Is there a way?

 

[Italianguy]

Here is a tough question, how do you get your mother around the idea of you marrying if she doesn't like the wife you've chosen ? Is there a way?

Are you expeririencing this? I did but opposite, as you know my wife is Indian and I am Italian. It didn't go over so well at first. I guess it is in Gods hands at that point. Our family dynamic is awesome now, but it took awhile...you know Indians.

 

[-Fallen Angel-]

Here is a tough question, how do you get your mother around the idea of you marrying if she doesn't like the wife you've chosen ? Is there a way?

Where there's a will there's a way!!!
Seriously speaking, you should sit down with her, explain to her the 'benefits' and then maybe introduce your fiance, even if your mother disagrees, after a meeting or two, she may start to like her.
Inshallah it should all work out, give it a go, but do something nice for your mum first like make a meal or something, i dunno
just so she's in a "happy" mood

 

[KittenLover]

Here is a tough question, how do you get your mother around the idea of you marrying if she doesn't like the wife you've chosen ? Is there a way?

well what is the reason she doesn't like the woman you've chosen? If it's based on ignorance like different class or race then it's hard.

but if it's to do with character then the woman you've chosen can spend time with your mother I guess and show she has good character and would make a good wife.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

well what is the reason she doesn't like the woman you've chosen? If it's based on ignorance like different class or race then it's hard.

but if it's to do with character then the woman you've chosen can spend time with your mother I guess and show she has good character and would make a good wife.

Technically you can base it on religious grounds which is justified - she's Christian
Her character is fine but I'm biased with my opinion

But the one word she repeats to me a billion times is " YOU BRING SHAME ON THE FAMILY" - You know S.Asian they like Chinese whispers

 

[S<Chowdhury]

Are you expeririencing this? I did but opposite, as you know my wife is Indian and I am Italian. It didn't go over so well at first. I guess it is in Gods hands at that point. Our family dynamic is awesome now, but it took awhile...you know Indians.

Yep I'm experiencing this imsad mother is not to pleased with a bushgirl , time i have but it'd make a whole lot easier if people cooperated :hmm:

 

[Italianguy]

Technically you can base it on religious grounds which is justified - she's Christian
Her character is fine but I'm biased with my opinion

But the one word she repeats to me a billion times is " YOU BRING SHAME ON THE FAMILY" - You know S.Asian they like Chinese whispers

Oh wow, she's a Christian? Not that I didn't suspect that:shade:

She may accept her at some time, I am sure she has a good character. Your mother is of course going to have a hard time with this for a while.

One of my desi friends married a Christian girl, All his mother kept doing was wave chillis around his head to ward of the "evil eye" ,lol She is fine with it now, but you can tell there is still some anomosity between them.hew

 

[KittenLover]

Yep I'm experiencing this imsad mother is not to pleased with a bushgirl , time i have but it'd make a whole lot easier if people cooperated :hmm:

lol but brother there is a vast ocean of Muslim women who need good praticing Muslim husband's, all those sister's looking for husbands.

the problem with a Christian lady is there will be division when it comes to raising kids, she will want to raise them upon christianity and won't mind them doing haraam things.

the kids will end up confused and won't know who to follow. Unless the mother becomes a Muslim :hmm:

 

[aadil77]

One of my desi friends married a Christian girl, All his mother kept doing was wave chillis around his head to ward of the "evil eye" ,lol She is fine with it now, but you can tell there is still some anomosity between them.hew

what the hell?;D must be some crazy hindu

 

[Italianguy]

what the hell?;D must be some crazy hindu

lol, yeah they are. They are good people....just have some weird practices^o) I would have rather eaten the chillishew;D

 

[S<Chowdhury]

the problem with a Christian lady is there will be division when it comes to raising kids, she will want to raise them upon christianity and won't mind them doing haraam things.

the kids will end up confused and won't know who to follow. Unless the mother becomes a Muslim :hmm:

Oh I hope you didn't think i went into marriage without thinking of all the possible sinful outcomes that may lead to........:hmm: I discussed many issues around a multi-faith marriage, hmm mercifully she understands the requirements that Islam requires of me, and she ok in raising children as Muslims. Inshallah she'll one day revert to Islam :hmm:

 

[Cabdullahi]

Tip of the day

Culture complication

Because of asian culture related complications it is actually easier to marry a lady jinn rather than a Pakistani girl.

 

[KittenLover]

Oh I hope you didn't think i went into marriage without thinking of all the possible sinful outcomes that may lead to........:hmm: I discussed many issues around a multi-faith marriage, hmm mercifully she understands the requirements that Islam requires of me, and she ok in raising children as Muslims. Inshallah she'll one day revert to Islam :hmm:

that's good, inshallah Allah guides her to Islam, also keep in mind that if Allah blesses you with children, they will take the mother as a role model so they will follow her actions, for example if she doesn't pray, when you tell them to pray they could say

"why?? mum doesn't pray why do we have to? we wanna be like mum"

cos the mother has a big influence, and the same with fasting and other islamic obligations, if the mother isn't doing it then the children won't see the importance of it.

and if the mum advises them to pray they'll think " you don't pray yourself why are you telling us to pray"

it will be very hard situation for you :hmm: if you like white girls then there is reverts you can marry.

and that will be good alhamdulilah as reverts find it hard to get married due to cultural reasons.

Also I remember hearing a story about one of the salaf, his children turned out to be very bad so he went to see a scholar for advise on what he can do, this is the convo that happened,

Man: "What can I do, my children have grown up to be sinful individuals who don't fear Allah"

Scholar: Do you really love your children?

Man: Yes

Scholar: If you really loved your children then you would not have married the woman that you did

The scholar was trying to tell the man, if you really cared for your children then you would have married a pious righteous woman with good deen who would've raised the children properly, a righteous woman. Because the mother plays a huge role in children's education, she leads be example.

And if you choose a bad mother for your children who doesn't implement Islam do not be surprised if the kids turn out like her also. Cos you made your bed when you chose to marry her.

 

[Cabdullahi]

that's good, inshallah Allah guides her to Islam, also keep in mind that if Allah blesses you with children, they will take the mother as a role model so they will follow her actions, for example if she doesn't pray, when you tell them to pray they could say

"why?? mum doesn't pray why do we have to? we wanna be like mum"

cos the mother has a big influence, and the same with fasting and other islamic obligations, if the mother isn't doing it then the children won't see the importance of it.

and if the mum advises them to pray they'll think " you don't pray yourself why are you telling us to pray"

it will be very hard situation for you :hmm: if you like white girls then there is reverts you can marry.

and that will be good alhamdulilah as reverts find it hard to get married due to cultural reasons.

Very nicely put it backs up my point of 'marrying jinn is an easier process'

 

[Italianguy]

Very nicely put it backs up my point of 'marrying jinn is an easier process'

Are you suggesting one to seek out marrying a jinn? I thought jinn was bad? Or is that sarcasm? Maybe saying this bro is looking for the easy route? I can attest that it is not an easy way.

I will be honest here......I was once almost considering a relationship with a Muslimah, before I met my wife. It's a long story but I can say there was nothing easy about it.

 

[KittenLover]

Are you suggesting one to seek out marrying a jinn? I thought jinn was bad? Or is that sarcasm? Maybe saying this bro is looking for the easy route? I can attest that it is not an easy way.

I will be honest here......I was once almost considering a relationship with a Muslimah, before I met my wife. It's a long story but I can say there was nothing easy about it.

The jinn are another creation that contains good and bad, you get some pious jinns and you get some evil jinns.

This is surah Jinn from the Qur'an, an envoy of jinn came to see the final prophet of god peace be upon him to hear his message. And that's when God revealed surah jinn. They were created before mankind was and they use to inhabit the Earth before mankind I believe however I could be wrong on that.

Did you know jinns can possesse someone?? and in such cases exorcism's are performed and sometimes the jinn embraces Islam after hearing the recitation of the Qur'an. Many people get fooled and think it's dead spirits but they don't realise there exists a parallel world to ours and that's the world of the jinn. They can see us but we can't see them.


1. Say (O Muhammad ): "It has been revealed to me that a group (from three to ten in number) of jinns listened (to this Qur'an). They said: 'Verily! We have heard a wonderful Recital (this Qur'an)!

2. 'It guides to the Right Path, and we have believed therein, and we shall never join (in worship) anything with our Lord (Allah).

3. 'And exalted be the Majesty of our Lord, He has taken neither a wife, nor a son (or offspring or children).

4. 'And that the foolish among us [i.e. Iblis (Satan) or the polytheists amongst the jinns] used to utter against Allah that which was wrong and not right.

5. 'And verily, we thought that men and jinns would not utter a lie against Allah.

6. 'And verily, there were men among mankind who took shelter with the masculine among the jinns, but they (jinns) increased them (mankind) in sin and disbelief.

7. 'And they thought as you thought, that Allah will not send any Messenger (to mankind or jinns).

8. 'And we have sought to reach the heaven; but found it filled with stern guards and flaming fires.

9. 'And verily, we used to sit there in stations, to (steal) a hearing, but any who listens now will find a flaming fire watching him in ambush.

10. 'And we know not whether evil is intended for those on earth, or whether their Lord intends for them a Right Path.

11. 'There are among us some that are righteous, and some the contrary; we are groups each having a different way (religious sect, etc.).

12. 'And we think that we cannot escape (from the punishment of) Allah in the earth, nor can we escape (from the punishment) by flight.

13. 'And indeed when we heard the Guidance (this Qur'an), we believed therein (Islamic Monotheism), and whosoever believes in his Lord shall have no fear, either of a decrease in the reward of his good deeds or an increase in punishment for his sins.

14. 'And of us some are Muslims (who have submitted to Allah, after listening to this Qur'an), and of us some are Al-Qasitun (disbelievers those who have deviated from the Right Path)'. And whosoever has embraced Islam (i.e. has become a Muslim by submitting to Allah), then such have sought the Right Path."

15. And as for the Qasitun (disbelievers who deviated from the Right Path), they shall be firewood for Hell,

16. If they (non-Muslims) had believed in Allah, and went on the Right Way (i.e. Islam) We should surely have bestowed on them water (rain) in abundance.

17. That We might try them thereby. And whosoever turns away from the Reminder of his Lord (i.e. this Qur'an, and practice not its laws and orders), He will cause him to enter in a severe torment (i.e. Hell).

18. And the mosques are for Allah (Alone), so invoke not anyone along with Allah.

19. (It has been revealed to me that) When the slave of Allah (Muhammad ) stood up invoking (his Lord Allah) in prayer to Him they (the jinns) just made round him a dense crowd as if sticking one over the other (in order to listen to the Prophet's recitation).

20. Say (O Muhammad ): "I invoke only my Lord (Allah Alone), and I associate none as partners along with Him."

21. Say: "It is not in my power to cause you harm, or to bring you to the Right Path."

22. Say (O Muhammad ): "None can protect me from Allah's punishment (if I were to disobey Him), nor should I find refuge except in Him.

23. "(Mine is) but conveyance (of the truth) from Allah and His Messages (of Islamic Monotheism), and whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, then verily, for him is the Fire of Hell, he shall dwell therein forever ."

24. Till, when they see that which they are promised, then they will know who it is that is weaker concerning helpers and less important concerning numbers.

25. Say (O Muhammad ): "I know not whether (the punishment) which you are promised is near or whether my Lord will appoint for it a distant term.

26. "(He Alone) the All-Knower of the Gha'ib (unseen), and He reveals to none His Gha'ib (unseen)."

27. Except to a Messenger (from mankind) whom He has chosen (He informs him of unseen as much as He likes), and then He makes a band of watching guards (angels) to march before him and behind him.

28. [He (Allah) protects them (the Messengers)], till He sees that they (the Messengers) have conveyed the Messages of their Lord (Allah). And He (Allah) surrounds all that which is with them, and He (Allah) keeps count of all things (i.e. He knows the exact number of everything).

 

[Italianguy]

The jinn are another creation that contains good and bad, you get some pious jinns and you get some evil jinns.

This is surah Jinn from the Qur'an, an envoy of jinn came to see the final prophet of god peace be upon him to hear his message. And that's when God revealed surah jinn. They were created before mankind was and they use to inhabit the Earth before mankind I believe however I could be wrong on that.

Did you know jinns can possesse someone?? and in such cases exorcism's are performed and sometimes the jinn embraces Islam after hearing the recitation of the Qur'an. Many people get fooled and think it's dead spirits but they don't realise there exists a parallel world to ours and that's the world of the jinn. They can see us but we can't see them.


1. Say (O Muhammad ): "It has been revealed to me that a group (from three to ten in number) of jinns listened (to this Qur'an). They said: 'Verily! We have heard a wonderful Recital (this Qur'an)!

2. 'It guides to the Right Path, and we have believed therein, and we shall never join (in worship) anything with our Lord (Allah).

3. 'And exalted be the Majesty of our Lord, He has taken neither a wife, nor a son (or offspring or children).

4. 'And that the foolish among us [i.e. Iblis (Satan) or the polytheists amongst the jinns] used to utter against Allah that which was wrong and not right.

5. 'And verily, we thought that men and jinns would not utter a lie against Allah.

6. 'And verily, there were men among mankind who took shelter with the masculine among the jinns, but they (jinns) increased them (mankind) in sin and disbelief.

7. 'And they thought as you thought, that Allah will not send any Messenger (to mankind or jinns).

8. 'And we have sought to reach the heaven; but found it filled with stern guards and flaming fires.

9. 'And verily, we used to sit there in stations, to (steal) a hearing, but any who listens now will find a flaming fire watching him in ambush.

10. 'And we know not whether evil is intended for those on earth, or whether their Lord intends for them a Right Path.

11. 'There are among us some that are righteous, and some the contrary; we are groups each having a different way (religious sect, etc.).

12. 'And we think that we cannot escape (from the punishment of) Allah in the earth, nor can we escape (from the punishment) by flight.

13. 'And indeed when we heard the Guidance (this Qur'an), we believed therein (Islamic Monotheism), and whosoever believes in his Lord shall have no fear, either of a decrease in the reward of his good deeds or an increase in punishment for his sins.

14. 'And of us some are Muslims (who have submitted to Allah, after listening to this Qur'an), and of us some are Al-Qasitun (disbelievers those who have deviated from the Right Path)'. And whosoever has embraced Islam (i.e. has become a Muslim by submitting to Allah), then such have sought the Right Path."

15. And as for the Qasitun (disbelievers who deviated from the Right Path), they shall be firewood for Hell,

16. If they (non-Muslims) had believed in Allah, and went on the Right Way (i.e. Islam) We should surely have bestowed on them water (rain) in abundance.

17. That We might try them thereby. And whosoever turns away from the Reminder of his Lord (i.e. this Qur'an, and practice not its laws and orders), He will cause him to enter in a severe torment (i.e. Hell).

18. And the mosques are for Allah (Alone), so invoke not anyone along with Allah.

19. (It has been revealed to me that) When the slave of Allah (Muhammad ) stood up invoking (his Lord Allah) in prayer to Him they (the jinns) just made round him a dense crowd as if sticking one over the other (in order to listen to the Prophet's recitation).

20. Say (O Muhammad ): "I invoke only my Lord (Allah Alone), and I associate none as partners along with Him."

21. Say: "It is not in my power to cause you harm, or to bring you to the Right Path."

22. Say (O Muhammad ): "None can protect me from Allah's punishment (if I were to disobey Him), nor should I find refuge except in Him.

23. "(Mine is) but conveyance (of the truth) from Allah and His Messages (of Islamic Monotheism), and whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, then verily, for him is the Fire of Hell, he shall dwell therein forever ."

24. Till, when they see that which they are promised, then they will know who it is that is weaker concerning helpers and less important concerning numbers.

25. Say (O Muhammad ): "I know not whether (the punishment) which you are promised is near or whether my Lord will appoint for it a distant term.

26. "(He Alone) the All-Knower of the Gha'ib (unseen), and He reveals to none His Gha'ib (unseen)."

27. Except to a Messenger (from mankind) whom He has chosen (He informs him of unseen as much as He likes), and then He makes a band of watching guards (angels) to march before him and behind him.

28. [He (Allah) protects them (the Messengers)], till He sees that they (the Messengers) have conveyed the Messages of their Lord (Allah). And He (Allah) surrounds all that which is with them, and He (Allah) keeps count of all things (i.e. He knows the exact number of everything).

Wow, Thank you for that reply! God be with you!