women, wrk, education and driving.

[S_87]

Can you please point out anyone that said a husband expecting his wife to pay and work is not oppressive until then reduce your emotional outburst.

my point was it works both ways.

Then he has every right to stop her, like me and muhaba already said SEVERAL TIMES.

and how can he do that if as suggested it was a pre marital agreement? And what if the wife disagrees? How can he 'stop' her then? Is that not oppressive? She may not think it is affecting her family life, he does, then what?


NO, it just you and your selective and imaginative reading. Would I marry a husband that tells me to stop working even though my work is not way conflicting with my duty? NO way.

The husband has right to disregard his wife feelings even though her work is no way affecting her duty? Is that what you agreed to, then that is oppressive.

dont put words into my mouth. i never said anything about disregarding his wifes feelings, thats what YOU think

I don’t know why you are reading so selectively, maybe is because you are truly unhappy to be told to stay at home? If that is not case, then what is the explanation of your response that overlooks all that we have said. The only explanation is emotional outburst.

if that was the case i wouldnt have voted the way i did. you say im disregarding everything you say and im the one with the emotional outburst yet you dont read what ive written, just attack attack and then you make out as if its me with the outbursts. My point is simply

A man has a right to prevent his wife from working if he wishes-islamically a woman must obey her husband. Some women may find this oppressive, others have no problem agreeing with their husband. What a non muslim thinks of this is totally irrelevant, most muslim women are NOT oppressed.

 

[Cabdullahi]

i never voted because the questions are a bit irrelevant......it looks like a poll you would find in one of these western media outlets after they do a piece on the muslim countries


'Should women drive please give us your views'
'Should women work please give us your views'
'should women bla bla bla bla bla'

Stupendous questions that whip up disgust and hatred towards the muslims

 

[Asiyah3]

The husband has right to disregard his wife feelings even though her work is no way affecting her duty?

Does the wife have the right to disregard her husband's feelings?

Those types of men need find a sister that does not want to work instead of forcing a sister that wants to work and her work is not affecting her duty to quit working.

Those types of women who wish to work need to find a brother that doesn't mind her working.
Why was this argument directed at men?

 

[purple]

I cant even reply to your posts any longer. As you think a husband has a superior position than his wife, her feelings and views doesnt matter. To as he says. I dont look down upon housewife but sure do look down upon women who think their views on the matter is lesser.

and how can he do that if as suggested it was a pre marital agreement? And what if the wife disagrees? How can he 'stop' her then? Is that not oppressive? She may not think it is affecting her family life, he does, then what?

If she put it in her contract then he cant stop her. Even if she did not put in her contract, how would you suppose he would stop her then?

It depend whether she would listen, if she doesnt then boohoo marriage is over. This should have been discussed before marriage tbh.

dont put words into my mouth. i never said anything about disregarding his wifes feelings, thats what YOU think

so if the husband decide to stop her for no valid reason and she doesnt agree that in no way disregards her no? Or you like the idea of a wife being treated like a child?

if that was the case i wouldnt have voted the way i did. you say im disregarding everything you say and im the one with the emotional outburst yet you dont read what ive written, just attack attack and then you make out as if its me with the outbursts. My point is simply

The poll is about whether women can work. This discussion is about whether a husband has the right to stop his wife from working without valid reasons.

A man has a right to prevent his wife from working if he wishes-islamically a woman must obey her husband. Some women may find this oppressive, others have no problem agreeing with their husband. What a non muslim thinks of this is totally irrelevant, most muslim women are NOT oppressed.

The husband can do whatever he wants and the wife is expected to listen to him unless it go against islam. so if you husband were to tell you to like his boot, i suppose you run to it and do so.

A woman must "obey", does that sound like a marriage to you at all?

 

[purple]

Does the wife have the right to disregard her husband's feelings?


Those types of women who wish to work need to find a brother that doesn't mind her working.
Why was this argument directed at men?

I did not say his view doesnt matter, i said there should have discussion between them. clearly that means his views does matters!

This discussion was about husband position is stating whether his wife should work, it started off as that not by me either.

 

[purple]

My view on the subject about the husband authority is clear. I don’t have problem with men preferring the wife not to work, in that case find a wife who doesn’t want to work. Same would go for the sisters. What I do have a problem with is the idea “do as your husband says” during marriage. If there isn’t any valid reason for him to stop her working or studying then I don’t see why he should be allowed to!
The idea of do as your husband says contradicts the idea of marriage being a partnership.
Does Islam say the husband can order his wife to do whatever he wants. Even though it would make her unhappy? His feelings are superior to hers.
Or does Islam say there should be a discussion like two adults and both should come to a conclusion which is what I define as marriage.

 

[S_87]

I cant even reply to your posts any longer. As you think a husband has a superior position than his wife, her feelings and views doesnt matter. To as he says. I dont look down upon housewife but sure do look down upon women who think their views on the matter is lesser.

My dear sister, it is not about who is right and who is wrong. Whos views matter and whos views dont.

Answer me this: If the husband says no, the wife says yes-in any situation- one is gonna get the answer they want. Maybe the husband says the wife must work, and the wife says she wants to stay at home. One is gonna back down right? You are probably wondering why must the wife back down right? It works both ways. In Islam both husband and wife have obligations and rights. Amongst a womans right is that her husband provides for her within his means, treats her with kindness and doesnt abuse her. Amongst the husbands rights is that his wife obeys him.

If she put it in her contract then he cant stop her. Even if she did not put in her contract, how would you suppose he would stop her then?

dont know, but i imagine itd cause disagreement which sucks

The poll is about whether women can work. This discussion is about whether a husband has the right to stop his wife from working without valid reasons.



The husband can do whatever he wants and the wife is expected to listen to him unless it go against islam. so if you husband were to tell you to like his boot, i suppose you run to it and do so.

A woman must "obey", does that sound like a marriage to you at all?

ok now ur being silly. as a muslim woman, what do u make of the Quran ayahs and the hadiths which calls for obedience and charge of husband? They are a guideline, it doesnt mean men walk about with a stick bossin their wives around, its a mutual agreement and if yo ucant understand that, no point discussing further

 

[purple]

My dear sister, it is not about who is right and who is wrong. Whos views matter and whos views dont.

Answer me this: If the husband says no, the wife says yes-in any situation- one is gonna get the answer they want. Maybe the husband says the wife must work, and the wife says she wants to stay at home. One is gonna back down right? You are probably wondering why must the wife back down right? It works both ways. In Islam both husband and wife have obligations and rights. Amongst a womans right is that her husband provides for her within his means, treats her with kindness and doesnt abuse her. Amongst the husbands rights is that his wife obeys him.


dont know, but i imagine itd cause disagreement which sucks



ok now ur being silly. as a muslim woman, what do u make of the Quran ayahs and the hadiths which calls for obedience and charge of husband? They are a guideline, it doesnt mean men walk about with a stick bossin their wives around, its a mutual agreement and if yo ucant understand that, no point discussing further

okay sister, sorry for the harsh words. As for the last paragraph, you say that 'obedience' and 'charge' doesnt mean bossing the wife around then why is that the husband can tell his what to do but she cant? Anyways I found an article which would shut both of us up lol, we are both right but i dont how to put, we didn't really put that together.

I am going to post this as sum up to this thread. I won’t be able to reply back to anyone as I am off to bed and won’t be on the computer for two week. I just post this article but I can’t post the link as I don’t have enough credits.

WOMEN IN ISLAM ​

Dividing Duties of Husband & Wife


Islam imposes certain duties on both husband and wife in return for certain rights which it assigns to each of them. The balance between the rights and duties of each is a perfect one​

Allah has guaranteed that the message of Islam will be preserved intact for all time because He wants it to be implemented in human life in all ages and in all communities. Therefore, He has made it adaptable to all situations, so that people cannot argue that the conditions prevailing in their community make it impossible to implement the divine message. This is one of the essential characteristics of Islam which add to its strength.
There is no doubt that social conditions differ from one community to another and from one period of time to another. We cannot compare a tribal or nomadic community to the social conditions prevailing in an industrialised society. Indeed, the conditions within the same country differ from rural to urban areas. How then, can one set of teachings be applicable to all communities in all ages? The answer is found in the fact that Islam provides certain guidelines and allows every community to conduct its life the way it likes, within the framework provided by its general guidelines and principles.
In the overall social set-up, Islam defines rights and duties. However, where it is possible for a human being to usurp the rights of others, Islam defines these rights very clearly, Moreover, Islam establishes a perfect balance between rights and responsibilities. It is not acceptable from the Islamic point of view that a certain person enjoys certain rights without having to fulfil certain duties in return. Otherwise, if a person can require another to do certain things by way of duty, without giving that person certain rights, that becomes a case of exploitation which leads to much injustice. It goes without saying that exploitation and injustice undermine the very existence of any community in which they prevail. A relationship which involves injustice is undesirable to Allah. He says in a Qudsi Hadith; “My servants, I have forbidden Myself injustice and I have made injustice forbidden to you. Therefore, do not be unjust to one another.”
With regard to family relations, Islam imposes certain duties on both husband and wife in return for certain rights which it assigns to each of them. The balance between the rights and duties of each is a perfect one. In this way, Islam secures a happy life for the family. When both husband and wife fulfil their duties, they will enjoy their rights.
According to Islam, a woman is not required to work in order to earn her living. Her husband is responsible to ensure a decent standard of living for her, according to his means. Even when a woman is richer than her husband, her wealth does not deprive her of her right to be supported by him. If he takes advantage of her wealth in order to leave his duty unfulfilled, without having first secured her consent to this arrangement, then he is accountable for his misdeed. It is open to her to seek divorce on grounds of her not being supported by her husband. An Islamic court will have no hesitation to issue an order nullifying the marriage if the husband will not honour his responsibility.
It may be useful to add here that an unmarried woman also does not need to work for her living. She is entitled to be supported by her parents or her immediate relatives, such as her brothers. However, if a woman decides to work, Islam does not stop her from doing so.
It is important to know what rights and duties become applicable when a woman takes up employment. It is common knowledge that Islam considers a woman equal to man with regard to the rights of ownership and disposal of property as well as conducting her own business transactions and commercial dealings.
Therefore, when a woman earns something from her work, her earnings belong totally to her. If she is unmarried, her father cannot claim her earnings as his own. Similarly, a woman’s husband cannot put any claim to her earnings.
It may be suggested here that when a married woman goes out to work, she leaves her household duties unattended. Therefore, the husband is entitled, or so it is claimed, at least to a share of the salary or earnings of his wife. We have to examine this argument a little more carefully.
The duties of a wife toward her husband, according to Islamic law, are well defined. They do not include doing any cleaning, ironing, cooking or any other household work. Marriage is a contractual relationship which allows a man and woman to fulfil their desire in a legitimate way. If a woman takes an undertaking which prevents her from meeting that responsibility, then her husband has the right to prevent that undertaking.
Someone may ask at this point: Who is then to do the housework? The answer is twofold: If we are speaking strictly from the points of view of rights and duties, it is not the duty of the woman to do the housework in her husband’s home. If he wants that work done, he has to see to it that it is done. Life is not all about rights and duties. There is much more in the marital relationship than duties and rights. There is what Islam terms “companionship based on goodwill”. It is under this heading that he duties and responsibilities of the family are divided between the husband and wife. When we ask for guidelines on this particular point, they are readily available.
At a certain stage, there was some disagreement between Fatimah, the Prophet’s daughter and her husband, Ali who was the Prophet’s cousin. They presented their case before him, requesting him to define their responsibilities for them. The Prophet (Pbuh) said to his daughter; “You do the work that must be done inside the home, and he does what needs to be done outside.” This division of the family work is both fair and practical.
What we may deduce from all this is that if a woman does not do the work that has to be done inside the family home, she fails in meeting the requirement of companionship and goodwill. It is open to her husband to divorce her if she persistently refuses to do it. She may argue there it is much more to family life than strict duties.
When a woman wants to go out to work, her husband may prevent her from doing so if he feels that her job will seriously affect the family, especially with regard to the upbringing of the children. However, if she was working when they got married, and he has not indicated to her at the time of his proposal that he wants her to quit her job, this is taken as consent on his part to her working. He may not withdraw that consent after marriage. It is not open to him then to ask her to leave her job. If she refuses, she is within her rights. This is absolutely fair, because the fact that he has not made his intention clear to her about her continued working is regarded as agreement to the situation which obtained before their marriage.
As for the salary she receives from her work, or indeed her earnings, these belong to her. She may determine how she uses her income. If she wants to help her own family with part or all of her income, she is only being dutiful and she will be rewarded by Allah for being so.
The husband cannot take advantage of his wife. To claim that what she earns belongs to him is absolutely unjust. He cannot justify if in any way. If she does not agree to give it to him, he is taking it unlawfully. He may not treat it as his own money. He must obtain her permission before taking it. If she does not give him that permission, he must not touch it. Some people may suggest that since both husband and wife are working, they should share the family expenses. The answer to this suggestion is that this is possible only by mutual agreement. What we have to understand is that the husband has no rightful claim to what his wife may earn or own. If she willingly gives him something of it, he is welcome to have it. If she refuses, he has no claim to it. If he hustles or pressures or cajoles her in order to obtain something from her, he is taking it unjustly and he will be punished by Allah for doing so.