Staying married

[Riana17]

Salam Alaikkum,

I am not good in writing but I will humbly share hoping that some of my bros and sis will learn a bit from our relation.

It's too early to tell and I dont know the future but if my current relation continues, I think we will stay happily married till end inshallah.

1. All the credit goes to Allah (swt), He puts aloot of love

in my HUSBAND's heart towards his shaytana

wife (me)

We

each other and always lift each other's spirit, we are both frank & honest, we are each other's armor

So I dont know if this is secret, I am not bluffing but I would honestly tell you all that we are indeed happily married: ALHAMDOLLELAH countless times 1000000000xxxxxx

1. WE PRAY TOGETHER
2. BUSY TIME
We both work+ We do small business together, on top of that we rest alot & sleep like 7-8hrs daily
3. WE ARE BOTH NOT DEMANDING and trying to live by means and not material, we are contented
We are pretty clever when it comes to spending (I dont mind buying 2nd hand clothes), we know wasters are brothers of shaytan but we treat each other with good food

,

Now, I will say what makes me happy as a wife (im the right icon lol)

1. He has huge patience, never initiates madness moments too
2. He deals with my mood properly, he is good observer & quite brilliant
-when I am truly upset for valid reason, he won't leave me hanging, he likes to solve it asap
-when I am upset for nonsense reason, he will leave me alone and ignore me (HAHA i deserve this)
My husband will never allow himself or anyone to even upset me, that's assurance
3. He is not controlling man
never he controls my life, my single life and marriage life is somewhat the same!!! surprisingly yes it is, 1st he didnt ask me to be A Muslim and second HAAA! I still enjoy laziness (i dont cook!)
4. He sees my worth
-There are many things I am not good at and there are few things I'm excellent - he shows me where I'm good at and seek my advise and follows it
-He allows me to work, grow and contribute and we do charity together
5. He is BIG FAT Liar and i love it
-When I cook he would compliment me till he cant breath and indeed finish the food into pieces

, when his sister cook and its a bit salty he would give her a little sermon

6. He serves his mom (he love her more than he loves me & I just love it!) as well as his family
7. Miscellaneous (together)
He dont have addiction, okay he loves movie but he dont have addiction to anything be it sports or cars

, he never taste alcohol and not smoking too, just a bit of seesha

He never reject me and he knows how to please me, sometimes he iron

my clothes OR clean

around, while I would massage him for 3 minutes

,
he always arrange our food

while I would try harder to cook

,



Oh I love to joke around, tease him

and even if I hurt him physically

, he would still give me his sweet smile

, When we walk around the malls we enjoy looking at pretty faces

and exchange comments, if I demand him to entertain me he would do Arab dancing

and also trying hard to show off

, even when i do this "

" accidentally and intentionally he wont embarass me which makes me feel real comfortable with him (which he never did in front of me because he said it is HARRAM, HAAAA! I hope i will not come accross with any HADITH)



In top of all I can say love is not enough and I intended to respect him, improve inshallah & i wont do anything behind his back (or anyone's back)
Being Muslim makes things alot easier, though I am not perfect (and so is he) we know what's right from wrong and we have total guidance, we also take things not too serious,,,
avoiding a big sin can make us stick together inshallah

Heeeehee so you see, its GIVE (give give give) and I (take) policy

 

[جوري]

That's why financial problem is not a reason to ask divorce in Indonesia.

Yeah it is a bit more complicated than that I think..
I am certainly glad it isn't a factor in some of our societies..

 

[SFatima]

mashAllah riana 17, MashAllah MashAllah, may you two grow in love and in deen together with your families, may Allah swt bless you more aammen

 

[Who Am I?]

You guys have it all wrong. It's simple, really. I learned this from watching my father over the years with my mother.

The woman is always right. So just agree with everything she says. Problem solved. Thread closed. You can all go home now.

And you're welcome.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Haha, KoN. Now, that is the kind of practical advice I was after. Great stuff.

 

[Riana17]

mashAllah riana 17, MashAllah MashAllah, may you two grow in love and in deen together with your families, may Allah swt bless you more aammen

Salam to all

Brother KoN that's funny but not true, infact women knows men are wise in decision making, women takes emotion when we makes decision so most probably we are wrong most of the time and we know it.

Salam Alaikkum Sister,
thanks alot for your DUAA (really appreciated), all praise is due to Allah


heres for you

http://satosetubi.com/wp-content/uploads/Tulips_Photo.jpg

 

[Soulja Girl]

Okay, this is really bugging me..

What if he doesn't have a good dress sense..

And yea inno we're not supposed to look at all that, we're supposed to look at piety and what's in the heart etc, but thats one thing I can't stand.. :hiding:

..&& suppose he doesn't like what I like oh: I will NOT be able to hack that!

Back to topic, what amazes me most is how happy my Mum and Dad are.. They understand each other so well.. They love each other so much.. Never in my entire life have I seen them argue.. They may have their tiffs and disagreements once in a while, but nothing so serious.. And Dad, he won't complain about ANYTHING! Whatever food we'll give him, be it leftovers, he'll have it without a word.. He'll even have Crisp & Butter Sandwiches with us lot.. .. I've heard men who want their food on time, and are particular about what they eat, and if they don't get what they want, World War Three is about to start.. ^o).. Alhamdulillah, we've never had any sort of problem in our family.. .. And I pray Allah always keeps it like that..I wish every guy was like Dad.. *sigh*

I think Marriage is based on love and understanding and not taking petty and silly stuff to heart, to forgive and to forget.. To learn from your mistakes.. To be happy and forever smiling.. Thanking Allah that you've both got each other every day.. To be content with whatever Allah has given you.. To be patient if you're having a hard time.. And the list goes on..

:wa:

 

[Riana17]

Okay, this is really bugging me..

What if he doesn't have a good dress sense..

And yea inno we're not supposed to look at all that, we're supposed to look at piety and what's in the heart etc, but thats one thing I can't stand.. :hiding:

..&& suppose he doesn't like what I like oh: I will NOT be able to hack that!



:wa:

Salam Alaikkum Sis,

May Allah reward your parents, I think they had strong fight too but I guess they are clever to keep it between them. Subhanallah, may they have longer and happy life.

My husband is too good in clothing & he showers twice/day mostly, he even sends his clothes to laundry for perfect ironing, he is good in matching colors too, once upon a time i am wearing complicated clothes, now 95% of my clothes are simple like the photo below, i like Zara, h&m, forever21 or Bershka or whatever quality brands that makes this design (im not copying west, no indeed they make good clothes).
I am convert to ISLAM and this kind of clothing is perfect for me coz its pretty long and doesnt show body shape (I am thin as the photo-I dont know for others, shape might show?), I would wear shirt inside too for double protection

To answer you query, I guess your not married yet? when you marry you can take care of his clothes, men have few clothes design and he may not be talented in taking care of his clothing but you can do that slowly (buying him clothes as gift is good way to change his wardrobe in gentle way).

 

[Salahudeen]

Okay, this is really bugging me..

What if he doesn't have a good dress sense..

And yea inno we're not supposed to look at all that, we're supposed to look at piety and what's in the heart etc, but thats one thing I can't stand.. :hiding:

..&& suppose he doesn't like what I like oh: I will NOT be able to hack that!

Back to topic, what amazes me most is how happy my Mum and Dad are.. They understand each other so well.. They love each other so much.. Never in my entire life have I seen them argue.. They may have their tiffs and disagreements once in a while, but nothing so serious.. And Dad, he won't complain about ANYTHING! Whatever food we'll give him, be it leftovers, he'll have it without a word.. He'll even have Crisp & Butter Sandwiches with us lot.. .. I've heard men who want their food on time, and are particular about what they eat, and if they don't get what they want, World War Three is about to start.. ^o).. Alhamdulillah, we've never had any sort of problem in our family.. .. And I pray Allah always keeps it like that..I wish every guy was like Dad.. *sigh*

I think Marriage is based on love and understanding and not taking petty and silly stuff to heart, to forgive and to forget.. To learn from your mistakes.. To be happy and forever smiling.. Thanking Allah that you've both got each other every day.. To be content with whatever Allah has given you.. To be patient if you're having a hard time.. And the list goes on..

:wa:

Then you take him shopping and put him in the clothes you'd find him irresistible in :hmm:

 

[Ghazalah]

What if he doesn't have a good dress sense..

And yea inno we're not supposed to look at all that, we're supposed to look at piety and what's in the heart etc, but thats one thing I can't stand..

..&& suppose he doesn't like what I like I will NOT be able to hack that!

Ah. At last, I'm not alone! I dress the males in my household (not literally) but I tell them what to wear and what not to wear lol plus, what husband would not take the advice of his wife when she is advising him on how to look 'irresistible' :giggling:

 

[Who Am I?]

My mom and my sister bought most of what I wear regularly.

I can't remember the last time I bought any clothes for myself.

But then, I don't really care how I look.

Maybe that's my problem.

Well, aside from the not being the kind of man I should be bit.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you all;

Nothing can ever prepare you for marriage, I think relationships are one of the toughest things we face in life, if there are any tensions between the couple, having children will only compound those problems, children rarely seem to reconcile problems.

Marriage is really hard work, it is two imperect people coming together, and if they have children, they are imperfect also. The longer you are together, it seems the harder you have to strive to keep the marriage alive, and I have only been married 26 years, you get a shorter sentence for murder !!!!

Give in as often as possible, forgive constantly, spend time together, because the real way you spell love is TIME, or doing time. Give your spouse as much freedom as possible, but with freedom comes responsibilities.

We struggled financially for a number of years, although I have been the main bread winner, my wife has more control over how the money is spent. I have been happy to trust her, even though we have had a few arguments over money.

Tough thing to do but if you can put God first, spouse second and self third, this is the recipee for happiness.

Blessings

Eric

 

[MustafaMc]

Peace EricH,

You pointed out an important aspect of staying married and that is an ability to forgive. I believe that all relationships will have at one time or another and to various degrees disagreements, arguments, misunderstandings and hurt feelings that require regular doses of forgiveness. What is more difficult to forgive, however, is when one or the other transgresses reasonable limits and betrays the others trust. If something serious like this happens, then a person has to decide if they want to remain married or to split up and go separate ways. If they stay together, then the offended one will have to reach deep inside and pull up a huge portion of forgiveness that surpasses reasoned understanding. The offender will have to come to grips with what he or she has done and strive to the nth degree to never repeat the offense.

We have been married 25+ years, but I can't imagine life alone, unless that is what Allah (swt) has willed for me. It is good to have someone to share one's life with - watch a movie, go to a gourd festival, watch purple martins with, share in growing a garden and preserving the vegetables, taking care of chickens - you know just everyday things spent together is better than alone.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Tough thing to do but if you can put God first, spouse second and self third, this is the recipee for happiness.

Excellent statement, Eric.

 

[ardianto]

Tips to staying married.


Always believe, marriage happen because Allah wanted us to marry. Our spouses are persons who given by Allah to us. We are the persons who given by Allah to our spouses. It is our duty to always treat our spouses well, and it is our duty to always be together with our spouses in happiness and in sadness.

Our children are gifts from Allah. Is our responsibility to raise our children on the right path. And our responsibilty to give them a happy family life with father and mother who always be together with them.

Marriage is a huge responsibility. Not responsibility to the people but responsibility to Allah. Always remember, in the hereafter we will be held accountable for what we have done on our wives/husbands and for our children in the world.

Always believe, each trial in our married life really is a test from Allah to measure how well we can assume our responsibilities.

Mistakes made by our spouses is a test for our patience, and it is our duty to tell them either that what they did was wrong

Always make our spouses happy and feel comfort in life with us.

 

[Abdul-Raouf]

Our Prophet did stay away for a while when it was not happy to be at home.

The Halal action.. which ALLAH discourage us to do is... Divorce.

Dont react harsh... do not shout... instead of shouting.. just stay calm...react softly. If your attitude is good.. it will change ur partner as well.. if you are calm. If you react hard... things might get worst.


Patience is the key to a long lasting relationship

 

[ardianto]

Patience is the key to a long lasting relationship

;D ;D ;D

What was imagined in my mind when I read the sentence above was, Abdul-Raouf wife relax on sofa and yelling at him "Husband ...! cook food !, wash the dishes !, wash the clothes ! ironing the clothes ! clean up the house !"

And when Abdul-Raouf start to angry, his wife remind him with "Patience is the key to a long lasting relationship"

 

[Abdul-Raouf]

^^^ Hope that doesnt happen.. .. If it happens.. I will show her this post.. ... then things will get normal

I think bro ardianto... you are married to think like this .. correct??

Dua Please.... Im yet to get married... looking to get married soon...

 

[ardianto]

^^^ Hope that doesnt happen.. .. If it happens.. I will show her this post.. ... then things will get normal

I think bro adrianto... you are married to think like this .. correct

Dua Please.... Im yet to get married... looking to get married soon...

InshaAllah, bro. I will make du'aa, wish Allah give you a beautiful, kind, and pious woman as your wife.

 

[ardianto]

infact women knows men are wise in decision making, women takes emotion when we makes decision so most probably we are wrong most of the time and we know it.

Men are not always wise in decision making. Since they were kids, men had been taught to be brave. But sometime this bravery makes them over confident and boldly take speculative decision. Women take emotion, but they are more careful than men.

Men need women to control their decision and action.

My mom and my sister bought most of what I wear regularly.

I can't remember the last time I bought any clothes for myself.

But then, I don't really care how I look.

Okay, about appearance.

I knew some husbands who married again with other women. And I noticed, there were similarity between their old wives. They were housewives who always serve their husbands in the houses, but they didn't care with their appearance, and never dressed well.

Might be this was one of the reason why their husbands got married again. Because naturally husbands always want their wives look good.

Same like women. They always want their husbands look good too. So, husband need to always care to their appearance and make themselves look good.

By the way, now I am in a diet program, after my wife told me I am too fat now.