Frustrations in getting married

Dear brothers and sisters

I don't believe it is permissible to post these videos and pictures, just as it is not permissible to attend and engage in such practices.

:peace::peace::peace:
 
Ok bros and sisters,

Lets get back on track......

Like where does one meet suitable muslim men and women who are interested in marriage in an islamic manner? :hmm:
 
~Zaria~ said:
Ok bros and sisters,

Lets get back on track......

Like where does one meet suitable muslim men and women who are interested in marriage in an islamic manner? :hmm:
Click to expand...

:sl:

There are a few options although i still think there is a big gap in the market in terms of finding a marriage partner for our generation. Here are some ways of finding a potential suitor:

1. Ask around one's local Masjids.

2. Ask around and register with marriage mediators (aunties who usually have a database of potential suitors)

3. Ask family, relatives and close and reliable friends and tell them what kind of partner you are looking for.

4. Go to marriage events with a mahram. (Try the more Islamic events as oppose to overly liberal ones.)

5. Register on "Islamic" marriage sites and not ones that claim to be Muslim or Islamic but are in fact "dating" websites. Sites like Pure Matrimony are quite good.

6. If one happens to come across a potential anywhere like at work, University etc, then inform a mahram to speak to them or one may ask the person directly using wisdom and tact and keeping within the boundaries of Islam and making sure not to keep in touch with them in private without informing ones mahram or making sure their mahram is informed and involved.


Also do the following 10 to help you find a marriage partner:

1. Pray 2 rakat salaatul Hajaat:

The hadith regarding it: Abullah ibn Abi Awfa (Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever has a need with Allah, or with any human being, then let them perform ritual ablutions well and then pray two rakats. After that, let them praise Allah and send blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). After this, let them say,

لا إِلَهَ إِلا اللَّهُ الْحَلِيمُ الْكَرِيمُ
سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِين
أَسْأَلُكَ مُوجِبَاتِ رَحْمَتِكَ وَعَزَائِمَ مَغْفِرَتِكَ وَالْغَنِيمَةَ مِنْ كُلِّ بِرٍّ وَالسَّلامَةَ مِنْ كُلّإِثْمٍ
لا تَدَعْ لِي ذَنْبًا إِلا غَفَرْتَهُ وَلا هَمًّا إِلا فَرَّجْتَهُ وَلا حَاجَةً هِيَ لَكَ رِضًا إِلا قَضَيْتَهَا يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ

There there no god but Allah the Clement and Wise.
There is no god but Allah the High and Mighty.
Glory be to Allah, Lord of the Tremendous Throne.
All praise is to Allah, Lord of the worlds.
I ask you (O Allah) everything that leads to your mercy, and your tremendous forgiveness, enrichment in all good, and freedom from all sin.
Do not leave a sin of mine (O Allah), except that you forgive it, nor any concern except that you create for it an opening, nor any need in which there is your good pleasure except that you fulfill it, O Most Merciful!”

[Related by Tirmidhi and Ibn Maja)

Here is the dua after praying 2 rakat salaatul hajaat:

http://www.central-mosque.com/Dua/11...0of%20need.htm


2. Give as much Sadaqa as possible for the pleasure of Allah

3. Make much strong dua to Allah particularly in the latter portuion of the night after praying Tahajjud prayer. Cry to Allah if you can for Allah tends the slave who cries and weeps faster than a mother tends its baby.

4. Leave major sins for this gets in the way of duas being accepted.

5. Thank Allah as much as possible for how happy would Allah be with his slave who is thankful to him even though they may be going through difficult trials.

6. Make dua as much as possible in the following situations where dua is more likely to be accepted:

- After every fardh salaat and before going to bed, and after making wudhu(after the wudhu dua), while raining, while azzan is in progress(time when the muezzin pauses during the azaan), after azaan, between azaan and iqmah, when the cock crows, in a religious gathering, while travelling to masjid or on the way to meet a sick person etc

There is also an hour on Jumma where duas are definatley accepted so do as much dua as possible during Jumma.

7. Do plenty of durood before and after dua.

8. Recite the following:

Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer

9. Recite abundantly everyday

[My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me]

Source: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...D=1908&CATE=10

10. a) Be in the state of Tahaarah (Wudhu)

b) Praise and glorify Allah

c) Have faith that Allah Ta'ala is All-Hearing and your Du'aas will be
accepted.

d)Read plenty of durood shareef (Read the Duroode-Ibrahimi, which we read in Salaah)

Source: http://www.islam.tc/cgi-bin/askimam/...=8597&act=view


So one must NEVER give up hope because whatever is best will happen for you because with hardship comes ease. When you finally find the one who is destined for you then you will appreciate them so much more because of how difficult it was to find them in the first place.

So please act upon the advice i have given and continue to be strong, strive and persevere and in the end you will be victorious!

May Allah find us the God fearing and pious partners who will benefit us in this world and the next so that together our paths to Jannah will be made easier. Ameen
 
ardianto said:

I am commiinnggg .....!!!!
Click to expand...

Ah!!!!!!!!!!! Run!!!! (I have to thank my sister for giving me nightmares about John Travolta)

~Zaria~ said:
Ok bros and sisters,

Lets get back on track......

Like where does one meet suitable muslim men and women who are interested in marriage in an islamic manner? :hmm:
Click to expand...

I met my future wife online...
 
^Wa-alikumsalam,

JazakhaAllah khair brother,

I truly appreciate the advices provided, Alhamdulillah.


Hamza Asadullah said:
There are a few options although i still think there is a big gap in the market in terms of finding a marriage partner for our generation. Here are some ways of finding a potential suitor:

1. Ask around one's local Masjids.

2. Ask around and register with marriage mediators (aunties who usually have a database of potential suitors)

3. Ask family, relatives and close and reliable friends and tell them what kind of partner you are looking for.

4. Go to marriage events with a mahram. (Try the more Islamic events as oppose to overly liberal ones.)

5. Register on "Islamic" marriage sites and not ones that claim to be Muslim or Islamic but are in fact "dating" websites. Sites like Pure Matrimony are quite good.

6. If one happens to come across a potential anywhere like at work, University etc, then inform a mahram to speak to them or one may ask the person directly using wisdom and tact and keeping within the boundaries of Islam and making sure not to keep in touch with them in private without informing ones mahram or making sure their mahram is informed and involved.
Click to expand...

^ With regards to no. 1 - I think this is easier for men.
It would be quite strange for a woman to be asking around a masjid regarding the single brothers.....lol.:hiding:

Im pretty wary of these on-line 'marriage sites'.
Do they not all work in a similiar manner - on-line chatting with a stranger of the opposite gender? :hmm:
Does Pure Matrimony work in a different way?


I do believe that Allah (subhanawata'la) has a plan for each one of us.
And even though, we may be going through life, making our own plans....... and suddenly there is a change of course which we did not expect - we should never forget, that Allahs plans are the BEST for us.
Even if we can not understand it at this point in time.

And this applies to all challenges we may face in life.
SubhanAllah.

So, sometimes it may seem that perhaps we are not destined to marriage on this earthly life.....
And this too should be fine for us......

Even though, it may not be what WE desire - what are some years of patience, in the face of eternity?
Sometimes, being single may actually be what we need for our particular life - perhaps with a spouse or children, we may be distracted a great deal away from the remembrance of Allah, vs. if we are single......


I'll stop here, and save everyone another long, boring essay.......



JazakAllah again......Ive learnt a great deal from your thread.

May Allah reward you brother. Ameen.


Salaam
 
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As'Salaamu Alaaykum

Silent Blade said:
Well i don't know if there is any sister will marry me, i have a physcial disease so its kinda hard for me but Allahu Alim i wont lose hope ever.
Click to expand...

I'm sure there is someone out there for everyone, and it's really a strong character that one has in which they do not lose hope in Allaah SWT in times of huge calamity.. The strong believer is one who smiles in the time of hardship and say's Allhamdulilaah - All praise is due to Allaah..Hopefully you've read the story of Ayub As, inshaa'Allaah the blessed prophet's story will put you to ease and how he dealt with it.

And know that you are not alone.

may Allaah SWT ease your hardship and grant you ultimate success in the hereafter, Aameen
 
"THE PERFECT GIRL

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married.

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl... the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said.

MORAL: None of us are perfect, so it is counter-productive to look for someone who is. What we should be looking for in a marriage is where each person elevates the other to reach his or her true potential. This happens when you love each other, respect one another, share common values and inspire each other.
"
 
Silent Blade said:
Well i don't know if there is any sister will marry me, i have a physcial disease so its kinda hard for me but Allahu Alim i wont lose hope ever.
Click to expand...

:sl:

Brother, the right woman won't see your physical condition. I have a good friend who has a physical condition and that was always a big concern for him, that some women would not look past his physical condition. Eventually he met and married a good woman, so it can happen. He is not Muslim, but he is the only one who knows about my conversion and he doesn't care. To me, that says a lot. It's not about what's outside, but about what's in the heart, and the right woman will see only that.
 
Silent Blade said:
Well i don't know if there is any sister will marry me, i have a physcial disease so its kinda hard for me but Allahu Alim i wont lose hope ever.
Click to expand...
As long as you have ability to accept someone, you always have a chance to be accepted by someone. Don't lose your hope, and always make du'a.

:)
 
~Zaria~ said:
Like where does one meet suitable muslim men and women who are interested in marriage in an islamic manner?
Click to expand...

Assalamoaliakum!

not sure sis but may be Baba Ali's halfourdeen dot com helps (i am not yet allowed to post links :hmm:) ! the website says that they have had 286 or so successful cases till now. Rest Allah knows best!

Wasalaam!
 
My male relatives was working in my travel bureau company as ticket delivery man, and lived in the office. He's coming from a small town in other county. And different than my parents, his parents were not middle class people, but people in 'simple life'.

Almost two years after he worked in my company, his mother phone him, she found a girl. He back to his home town to meet that girl. After he back to the office he told me that he would marry. He back again to his home town and got married there. I came to his wedding. Just a simple wedding because he and his wife just 'people with simple life'. His wife is not beautiful, but she has good character and personality.

Then they lived in my office. But few months later his parents in-law offered him to start a business in the home town. They back to the home town, lived in the wife parent house, and he start a micro business, selling shoes in his parents in-law small shop.

Now he is afford to rent a small shop in a marketplace, afford to rent a small house, and live happily with his wife and his children.

Imagine if the husband was so fussy like "I want beautiful wife! I want a wife who can ... bla, bla, bla!", and the wife was so fussy too with "I want to live in my own space! I want my husband gives me .... bla, bla, bla!". Also imagine if the parents were so fussy too "We want big wedding! prestige!, prestige!"

But they are simple people with simple minds, and it saved them from frustration in getting married.

:)
 

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