Living alone 'are more depressed'

[GuestFellow]

^ No seriously, I think I was about to vomit. I felt disgusted looking at that. +o(

 

[Alpha Dude]

I'm glad to know my post disgusted you. ^o)

 

[Snowflake]

^LOL@last few posts


I live with my son but he's at school from 8am -7pm and at his dad's most weekends, so it's almost like living alone and I love it. Being alone is scary when he's away though, but ayatul kursi takes care of that. I like staying at my mum's for the odd night, but if I can't get a lift back home when I want, I get really agitated and want to scream. A friend invited me for a sleepover once, and I left a friend's version of a 'Dear John' on the pillow and did a runner before she woke up in the morning lol. I think I've got used to being alone and need my own space and time.

It's actually not a good thing as being alone so much has made me an unsociable person. I only like company for a short time. I've also noticed that I get more waswas when I'm alone. So it's easy to understand why living alone can lead to depression, especially among people who don't have Islam in their lives. Islam doesn't recommend living alone either.

 

[cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn]

I lived alone for 3 years after my divorce. I'm now back with mom, and the change of mood is like night and day. Hard times are much more bearable when u have a crowd. My lil bro is always with me now, and my daughter spends loads of time with grandma, there's always things to do and mouths to feed so, no boredom really. I wouldn't opt to living alone again, that's for sure.

- cOsMiC

 

[Samiun]

is living alone considered as isolation?

Well w/e the case may be, I think we should contemplate and be thankful."Remember the favors of Allah upon you and how they surround you from above and below - indeed, from every direction." "And if you would count the graces of Allah, never could you be able to count them". (Quran 14:34). "health, safety, nourishment, clothing, air and water - these all point to the world being yours, yet you do not realize it. You possess all that life has to offer, yet you remain ignorant". You have at your disposal two eyes, a tongue, lips, two hands and two legs. Can you picture yourself walking without feet? Should you take it lightly that you slumber while misery hinders the sleep of many? Reflect upon your family, your friends, and the entire world that is around you" "They recognize the grace of Allah, yet they deny it" (Quran 16:83) - excerpt from "don't be sad" pg. 35

 

[Who Am I?]

I am the only one who is allowed to do the "TL - DR" posts. I started that. Nobody else can do it. :heated:

Copycats...

 

[Haya emaan]

if i had to be living alone... i will die of depression.. will had to do all my work myself..?? alone??no mom and sis to help there! no one to spoil my work..!! and then obviously no fights with siblings... that loneliness would kill me..:exhausted

 

[FS123]

That is the reason there is so much emphasis on community in Islam. Praying salat in jamaat also helps to certain extent.

 

[~Zaria~]

People of working age who live alone increase their risk of depression by up to 80% compared with people living in families, says a Finnish study.

I'm not sure how I found this thread, but I think I was meant to.....

Ive been living alone for the past 6 months.

Initially, it seemed like the best thing ever - I enjoyed furnishing the place and creating the type of environment that I thought would give me peace and a chance to spend more time in ibaadat and other beneficial activities.

Now, that 'novelty' has worn away.....and I am left with a feeling of isolation and loneliness
I now understand why this can often result in depression, as mentioned in the OP.

I think the way of life of a disbeliever, that permits one to socialize, go out and have aimless 'fun' at clubs/ parties/ movies/ theatres, etc - possibly wards this off (at least for a while).

For the believer, who has removed himself from much of society's 'normal' way of life (as much as possible) - and lives alone - it can become incredibly challenging to keep motivated.
The isolation, both in real terms and in terms of being a 'stranger' to the ways of the world is something that I honestly did not foresee imsad

To be honest, Im not really sure how to get myself out of this....
Ive really been considering emigrating (in shaa Allah, to KSA) (if my family would allow this, in shaa Allah).
But now, Im wondering if Im possibly trying to find an escape.....
Is it possible that the initial 'high' of living close to/ in the holy cities will also eventually wear away?......to result in me feeling even more isolated, living on my own, in a foreign land.
Or.... is this the change I actually need? : (

For those who live alone:
How do you ward off these feelings of loneliness and isolation?

For those who have moved (alone) to KSA:
What has it been like for you?

Will really appreciate any responses imsad


JazakAllahu khair

 

[Ramadan90]

^ Sorry for what you are going through sister. I have some advice:

1. Get to know some good muslim/s sister/s that you can befriend. You can do that by attending classes or any local muslims events.

2. Keep yourself busy with goals that are important to you. As muslims our purpose is to worship our creator so he can forgive us, set goals that makes you a better muslim. And set worldly goals as well, but dont forget the ultimate focus(akhira). This will keep you very happy and satisfied. To work towards something meaningful.

3. Excercise, eat well, sleep well and wake up early.

 

[Muhaba]

I'm not sure how I found this thread, but I think I was meant to.....

Ive been living alone for the past 6 months.

Initially, it seemed like the best thing ever - I enjoyed furnishing the place and creating the type of environment that I thought would give me peace and a chance to spend more time in ibaadat and other beneficial activities.

Now, that 'novelty' has worn away.....and I am left with a feeling of isolation and loneliness
I now understand why this can often result in depression, as mentioned in the OP.

I think the way of life of a disbeliever, that permits one to socialize, go out and have aimless 'fun' at clubs/ parties/ movies/ theatres, etc - possibly wards this off (at least for a while).

For the believer, who has removed himself from much of society's 'normal' way of life (as much as possible) - and lives alone - it can become incredibly challenging to keep motivated.
The isolation, both in real terms and in terms of being a 'stranger' to the ways of the world is something that I honestly did not foresee imsad

To be honest, Im not really sure how to get myself out of this....
Ive really been considering emigrating (in shaa Allah, to KSA) (if my family would allow this, in shaa Allah).
But now, Im wondering if Im possibly trying to find an escape.....
Is it possible that the initial 'high' of living close to/ in the holy cities will also eventually wear away?......to result in me feeling even more isolated, living on my own, in a foreign land.
Or.... is this the change I actually need? : (

For those who live alone:
How do you ward off these feelings of loneliness and isolation?

For those who have moved (alone) to KSA:
What has it been like for you?

Will really appreciate any responses imsad


JazakAllahu khair

Living alone sucks. humans were made to live in communities and close to extended families that provided a sense of belonging and support. unfortunately the modern world system has caused mankind to become isolated from not only family but community as well. Now people minimally interact with neighbors when in the past neighbors were as close to each other as family.

The kufr system doesn't help with their clubbing and partying outlets as that doesn't provide any fulfillment. People turn to those to escape their sadness, loneliness, depression but end up getting worse because the only thing it does is to push the problem aside instead of solving it. Once they return to their normal life, the problem hits them full force or lies untended in their subconscious causing havoc to their minds.

For someone who is forced to live in such a system, it's best to maintain contact with family and friends, find good friends close to where they live and meet-up regularly. If you can find an Islamic center, go their and see if you can meet with other sisters and make friends, go to get-togethers, visit each other's homes, etc. If you have any Muslim neighbors try to befriend them and get-together often. If there are possibilities of doing social work or volunteering at an Islamic school, Islamic Center, Mosque, etc then do that. If your Islamic Center provides courses, then consider taking them. You can meet with other Muslims there and that should make you feel better somewhat. But nothing can replace family contact, so do speak to them and meet them as much as you can.

Going to a Muslim country will help somewhat because you can meet other Muslims in Mosques and may be able to join Islamic or Arabic courses that will fill up your time and allow interaction with others. But you'll be away from family even more. If you do decide to move to a Muslim country then it would be best to get housing with other Muslim sisters (in sharing accommodation or Student housing). This way you won't be totally alone.

 

[~Zaria~]

^ Sorry for what you are going through sister. I have some advice:

1. Get to know some good muslim/s sister/s that you can befriend. You can do that by attending classes or any local muslims events.

2. Keep yourself busy with goals that are important to you. As muslims our purpose is to worship our creator so he can forgive us, set goals that makes you a better muslim. And set worldly goals as well, but dont forget the ultimate focus(akhira). This will keep you very happy and satisfied. To work towards something meaningful.

3. Excercise, eat well, sleep well and wake up early.

:jz: for the response akhi,

I do have such friends, some who are closer than others. Those who are married/ with kids generally have many other family commitments as well.

2. Keep yourself busy with goals that are important to you. As muslims our purpose is to worship our creator so he can forgive us, set goals that makes you a better muslim. And set worldly goals as well, but dont forget the ultimate focus(akhira). This will keep you very happy and satisfied. To work towards something meaningful.

^ I started out with this mind-set initially.
I think Ive burnt out.....lost drive and motivation.
When you are on your own, its not as easy to keep this pace going indefinitely.
I think at some point, the isolation gets the upper hand and weakens the spirit : (

3. Excercise, eat well, sleep well and wake up early.

At present I may be sleeping too much : (
When you are on your own, and esp in cold weather (we are now entering winter), one tends to head to bed earlier.
And this is also said to 'harden' ones heart : (
I think this is definitely something I need to cut back on....


JazakAllahu khair

 

[~Zaria~]

For someone who is forced to live in such a system, it's best to maintain contact with family and friends, find good friends close to where they live and meet-up regularly. If you can find an Islamic center, go their and see if you can meet with other sisters and make friends, go to get-togethers, visit each other's homes, etc. If you have any Muslim neighbors try to befriend them and get-together often. If there are possibilities of doing social work or volunteering at an Islamic school, Islamic Center, Mosque, etc then do that. If your Islamic Center provides courses, then consider taking them. You can meet with other Muslims there and that should make you feel better somewhat. But nothing can replace family contact, so do speak to them and meet them as much as you can.

:jz: sister,


Alhamdulillah, I am involved in a few social groups, and I am in contact with others on a daily basis.
However, when all is said and done, one still has to head back to an empty home.....
I think the actual 'living on ones own' is tougher than I had initially thought it would be..... : (

 

[Ramadan90]

:jz: for the response akhi,

I do have such friends, some who are closer than others. Those who are married/ with kids generally have many other family commitments as well.



^ I started out with this mind-set initially.
I think Ive burnt out.....lost drive and motivation.
When you are on your own, its not as easy to keep this pace going indefinitely.
I think at some point, the isolation gets the upper hand and weakens the spirit : (




At present I may be sleeping too much : (
When you are on your own, and esp in cold weather (we are now entering winter), one tends to head to bed earlier.
And this is also said to 'harden' ones heart : (
I think this is definitely something I need to cut back on....


JazakAllahu khair

Going to sleep early hardens the heart? Interesting, never heard of it.


Sister, are you married and where is your family? Find ways to befriend some muslim sisters that dont have family commitments. Go to mosques or islamic centers.

Living alone is not healthy for us human beings. Some people are more comfortable to be alone and others are not but no one can be alone ALL THE TIME.

I will make dua that Allah make it easier for you.

:wa:

 

[~Zaria~]

Going to sleep early hardens the heart? Interesting, never heard of it.

I meant sleeping too much hardens the heart...

"Another cause of weak faith and hard-heartedness is eating too much, sleeping too much, staying up too late, talking too much and mixing with people too much. Eating too much makes the brain slow and the body heavy, which prevents a person from worshipping Allaah and makes it easy for Shaytaan to tempt him, as it was said: “Whoever eats too much, drinks too much and sleeps too much, loses a great reward.”

From: Weakness of Faith by Sheikh Muhammed al Munajid

Al-Fudhail ibn Iyaadh said: “There are two qualities that harden the heart: sleeping too much and eating too much.”

Living alone is not healthy for us human beings.

Very true ;(


:jz:

 

[introspective]

I think some people are able to thrive better alone. I actually prefer to be alone. But one has to be really careful so that their mind doesn't wander off to....unscrupulous thoughts. If you are good at being productive, then you should not feel lonely. In fact, why should you feel lonely if Allah and his angels are watching over you?