assalamualaikum, brothers and sisters.
I just wanted some advice and I guess some support in some way because there are days where my father and I get into very aggressive arguments and I don't know what to do.
Anyways my father and I have never gotten along ever since I can remember. As a kid growing up he always put me down, calling me useless, and other such things when I didn't understand things. For example as a kid and adolescent he would make me read his mail, credit card statements, and government documents and most of the time, I couldn't understand what these letters were saying, after all I was only a kid. In not understanding or fully understanding such things he would call me useless and murmur to himself on why he had kids. I'm the eldest in the family and we moved here to Canada from Afghanistan and so I always had to bear the brunt of all of it even when my other brother was only one year younger than me. So he would yell at me, put me down, and etc. but I stayed quiet because, I was a kid and was afraid of him but also felt like I really was useless. It was my mother that did everything for us. She raised me, took me to my appointments, helped me with my homework, made me food, my school lunches, taught how to pray, read the Quran, how to ride a bike, and basically everything else all the while my dad would come home sleep, eat, and then sleep again.
Fast forward to me becoming an adult, I'm 25 now, I have learned many other things that further make me disappointed in my father. Through out the years, I have learned that he has cheated on my mother, sent large chunks of money to his brothers and sisters, and a myriad of other things. He sent so much money back home that his sisters were able to build huge houses and his brothers could stay at home and not work while being married. He did all this while we lived in some small dirty cramped little apartment. Now that he can't work as much and that I know everything, he has stopped sending ridiculous amounts of money back home but makes no difference now since he doesn't make as much, wants me to buy the whole family a house. I'm in debt from university, in a low paying job that can only support myself, and getting married. So I have my own financial burdens to bear.
Now that I know pretty much everything whenever he says something that makes him look like a hypocrite, which is 99 percent of the time, I let him know how bad of a father he was and still is and it infuriates him because he knows it's the truth.
Anyways, I don't want to argue with him anymore because, it's getting to the point where, I might do something I regret because of how much pent up anger I have because of him. My whole life, I was an angry kid and have realized that it's all because of him. Anyways what do, I do brothers and sisters?
Thank you in advance.
I just wanted some advice and I guess some support in some way because there are days where my father and I get into very aggressive arguments and I don't know what to do.
Anyways my father and I have never gotten along ever since I can remember. As a kid growing up he always put me down, calling me useless, and other such things when I didn't understand things. For example as a kid and adolescent he would make me read his mail, credit card statements, and government documents and most of the time, I couldn't understand what these letters were saying, after all I was only a kid. In not understanding or fully understanding such things he would call me useless and murmur to himself on why he had kids. I'm the eldest in the family and we moved here to Canada from Afghanistan and so I always had to bear the brunt of all of it even when my other brother was only one year younger than me. So he would yell at me, put me down, and etc. but I stayed quiet because, I was a kid and was afraid of him but also felt like I really was useless. It was my mother that did everything for us. She raised me, took me to my appointments, helped me with my homework, made me food, my school lunches, taught how to pray, read the Quran, how to ride a bike, and basically everything else all the while my dad would come home sleep, eat, and then sleep again.
Fast forward to me becoming an adult, I'm 25 now, I have learned many other things that further make me disappointed in my father. Through out the years, I have learned that he has cheated on my mother, sent large chunks of money to his brothers and sisters, and a myriad of other things. He sent so much money back home that his sisters were able to build huge houses and his brothers could stay at home and not work while being married. He did all this while we lived in some small dirty cramped little apartment. Now that he can't work as much and that I know everything, he has stopped sending ridiculous amounts of money back home but makes no difference now since he doesn't make as much, wants me to buy the whole family a house. I'm in debt from university, in a low paying job that can only support myself, and getting married. So I have my own financial burdens to bear.
Now that I know pretty much everything whenever he says something that makes him look like a hypocrite, which is 99 percent of the time, I let him know how bad of a father he was and still is and it infuriates him because he knows it's the truth.
Anyways, I don't want to argue with him anymore because, it's getting to the point where, I might do something I regret because of how much pent up anger I have because of him. My whole life, I was an angry kid and have realized that it's all because of him. Anyways what do, I do brothers and sisters?
Thank you in advance.
