Searching for a spouse

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Can I say that I actually enjoy having this discussions back and forth and reading new generations issues over actually getting married and having my own kids!

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Studentofdeed said:
Online the people are greedy and looking for money. Connections have failed. I just my family to be held accountable. I have lost patience.
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May Allah you ease with your family

Have you heard of sunnahmatch? I don't know how the people on there are like but it actually seems very good and it is the sunnah way. I have seen on their insta page of posting descriptions of some pious women I've noticed

Maybe you should hold off on giving them hints about your finance and that you are stable.. So that they may think you aren't some rich man they can dig off. Then after inshaAllah when you see she is pious, you can tell her the rest

Best wishes to you finding someone inshaAllah and may Allah make it easy
 
[MENTION=11636]student[/MENTION] most people are greedy. I'm a mature guy and from my life experience I've learnt that you'll be fortunate if you can find even one person who actually genuinely cares about you. Most people don't wanna know you, unless you have something to offer them. People just exploit each other for their own personal gain.
 
kingfisher1 said:
@revert this is the reality for most men unless a man learns game and spends 100's of hours hustling women, he has very little chance of attracting a young attractive woman. Weather he ends up marrying her, that's a different story. Todays women are corrupt so it's very hard attracting them by just being a simple humble religious guy. Women today love confident, bold men who can look at them straight in the eye.

And if you want to strictly find a woman in accordance with Islam, then you need to ask for a miracle from Allah because that's like climbing mount Everest.

I'm speaking from life experience as a mature guy who has interacted with probably hundreds if not over 1000's of women.

You really have to be a bit of a devil to attract modern women.

You say so many young women in good shape are attracted to you, then what has stopped you from marrying these women?
@student well to start off with don't curse your family or make supplications against them. Pray something good for them. Finding a wife in the west in the halal way is extremely difficult especially if you're a young guy in his early 20's because women in their 20's are too busy building careers, travelling, having fun, they don't have time to be a wife and mother, that's old fashioned and backwards. You can try networking and reaching out to religious people in your area, to Imams of local masjids. See if you find someone that way. Long term it's probably best to move away to a more religious and conservative traditional society in which people still value and respect marriage and family.

You just gotta keep trying and whatever is written for you, will reach you.
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Whats stopping me from marrying these women? The fact that age and looks are not my priority.I had to put my life on the line first,as i was not ready for marriage,and now that I am ready almost all the women who get attracted to me are nonmuslims from work,and the few who were muslims we couldnt fit when it comes to religion...they are either too religious,or not religious enough,or immature,or want a rich man.I am searching in shaa Allah but without connections its so hard,i dont have many options.I like one,but her sisters told me to not even think of it lol,her parents dont want a nonarab.So yeah things like this stop me.But its not like climbing mount Everest at all,im sure if i were to interact with 1000 muslim women id find a lot of suitable ones in shaa Allah.Maybe you are looking at the wrong place,or maybe your ''game'' isnt the right one for them.You can be bold and confident while being simple humble religious guy.There is nothing more bold and confident than a guy who has ideals and principles and knows what he wants and says it straight ahead.Sahabas were simple and humble yet confident.Look at this part of the hadith.

"O Messenger of Allah, I have come to offer myself to you (in marriage)." The Messenger of Allah looked her up and down then lowered his head. When the woman saw that he was not saying anything about her, she sat down. A man among his Companions stood up and said: "O Messenger of Allah, if you do not want to marry her, then marry me to her."

I dont know why you wouldnt want to see smn in the eye when you talk to them.Dont scholars and imams look at women when they ask them questions or discuss? even non muslim women.But if you are that religious that you dont look at a woman even when you talk,then dont waste time searching in uk or europe.
 
[MENTION=24165]revert[/MENTION] what wrong place am I looking at? What is the right game for them?
You reject women because they are too religious? That doesn't sound good
 
[MENTION=24165]revert[/MENTION] why don't you follow your own advice and marry an old woman? why waste your life single when you could easily be married to a much older woman?
 
kingfisher1 said:
@revert what wrong place am I looking at? What is the right game for them?
You reject women because they are too religious? That doesn't sound good
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well whats wrong with the place is that in 1000+ women there is no woman who is good enough for you.....i dont know,its your game,but i dont think not looking a woman in the eye when you talk to her is helpful,especially when you are interacting with muslims who are raised in the west...unless she is super religious and knowledgeable...she gets hit by muslims and nonmuslims everyday,then she meet a guy who cant even look at her in the eye,she takes it as if you are insecure or smth...im not defending them or smth,just saying how things might be from her prespective

yeah i do because its nothing smart to marry a woman whos level of iman is super higher than yours,you will either lower her to your level or she will be a burden for me.I am considered very religious from my friends,but it cant be 24/7 only religion talk.

kingfisher1 said:
@revert why don't you follow your own advice and marry an old woman?
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where did i advise to marry an old woman? and if i met an older woman who fit with me than id marry her yeah why not.Until 3 years older i would.
 
[MENTION=24165]revert[/MENTION] can you give me the name and address of this place which has 1000+ women? What is my game since you seem to magically know me?

How do you know how I look at a woman? have you ever seen me interact with women in real life?

You seem to just make things up about me.

You mentioned Khadija and you also said age is not a concern for you, hence why I asked why not marry an older woman
 
kingfisher1 said:
[MENTION=24165]revert[/MENTION] can you give me the name and address of this place which has 1000+ women? What is my game since you seem to magically know me?

How do you know how I look at a woman? have you ever seen me interact with women in real life?

You seem to just make things up about me.

You mentioned Khadija and you also said age is not a concern for you, hence why I asked why not marry an older woman
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Man i only said that based on what you said.It was my mistake for trying to give advice.I only wanted to say that things arent as exaggerated as you guys make it but you wanna go with that mindset ok. Your choice. May Allah make you way better than others and you think of you and may Allah marry you with an amazing muslim girl.Ameen
I didnt say age is not a concern for me but ok.
 
Revert alYunani said:
Man i only said that based on what you said.It was my mistake for trying to give advice.I only wanted to say that things arent as exaggerated as you guys make it but you wanna go with that mindset ok. Your choice. May Allah make you way better than others and you think of you and may Allah marry you with an amazing muslim girl.Ameen
I didnt say age is not a concern for me but ok.
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I think from what I just read here, before we even try to find relationship with the opposite sex...we may need to start first making a healthy relationship with the same sex first. I don't mean haraam homosexual relationship...I mean...a healthy brotherly bound where we don't reach like this in argument, where we don't fight each other, kill each other, want nothing to do with each other. How do we even form a healthy relationship with the opposite sex when we cannot stand each other of the same sex!? O_o
 

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