Do you believe in pure friendship between male and female?

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:salamext:


Sister Ashley, even if one person doesn't have feelings for the other person - whats stopping them from having feelings for you? You might not have had any feelings since you've been small because the hormones only kick in once you get older..

If the person gets emotions for you, especially when you don't have feelings for them - you get confused, and fall into an even worser situation because you don't know how to respond to that. One time or another you have to break it off, and it's better for the person to do it while these complications don't come up.



Yeah it's hard to believe that it can happen, but it does. There can't be a pure innocent friendship between a girl and guy if islaam doesn't permit it.

It can even be harmful when the person gets married because they might compare this friend to their future partner. Some people even say that this is my friend or 'brother/sister in faith' so i'm just hanging out with them. But later on they might get married as a couple, but then you gota ask yourself - how can you marry someone if you just counted them as your 'brother/sister' before - why could that be? It's because the emotions come into it.


Put your trust in Allaah sis, and pray to Allaah alot for help. If you give up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will replace you with something better inshaa'Allaah.
 
what if its on a business level, trust me i never shut up about business. Everything is to do with uniting muslims and showing the world we are capable of turning the whole situation around.
 
:salamext:

sis ashley in my honest opinion i think its best that we take the most correct views of the scholars which is free-mixing of opposite genders is not allowed.

I guess you wont truelly understand why until a situation arises and feelings kick in but im asking is it enough to whole heartedly accept that we shouldnt be talking to the opposite gender due to the stance of the scholars and learned men? To me logic plays a huge part of it aswell, there are people who take 2 seconds to click and fall in love, then theres those who take days/months/years/centuries but its amazing that the ones that take longer usually have a huger impact if you know what i mean.

So you been with him for 12 years... imagine the scenario that one day he turns around and goes:

"Ashley... I L**E YOU"

just imagine... thats something you want to avoid right :uuh:

also as a muslim, try to hold up the muslim fundamentals, modesty is a huge part of imaan and its just imodest to hang around freely with the opposite gender.


I hope you reach this in the best of imaan inshaAllaah.
 
im not much to give advice sis but bro is right believ me it happened to me and it aint pretty it horrible i learnt me lesson da hard way ,n i wish i hadnt
so try to do as da bro says i no u havint been muslin for long
but do try ur best sis:)
 
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There could be a pure friendship between guy/girl if they can keep flirtacious compliments to themselves. Stick to non-fitnah related topics and such.
 
:wasalamex

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Yes, pure friendship can exist. I don't think it is common though.

Example: Think of an elderly woman and a young man. Generally, physical attraction is important to young men. If a young man befriends an elderly woman by helping here with chores, etc, and they become friends. It is unlikely that anything other than a friendship will develop.
 
man and woman friendship is pure fitnah so one should avoid having friendship with the opposite sex
 
I find this question a little puzzling.

Speaking purely from personal experience, I have been friends with many men without sexual desires or thoughts ever entering into me head.
Like women, men are human beings first, sexual beings second.
(Of course I cannot speak for how those male friends ever thought about me ... but I never detected any sexual tension between us)

I understand about the concerns of free-mixing, but for me it is a way of life - and I have always remained safe and secure (Am I just the exception???), as well as happily and faithfully married.

Peace
 
:sl:
Yes I Believe in it, MY WIFE MASHA-ALLAH IS MY BEST FRIEND.
brothers try it you will InshahAllah find your best friends in your wife,s.
:w:
 
:sl:

I really think its unsafe to have a friendship with someone from the opposite sex. You always end up having some sort of feelings for the person or vice versa. At the beginning, you feel as if its just "a person" and not "a guy" or "a girl." But then later on you begin to develop other kinds of feelings for the person. This sometimes happens quickly but sometimes it can take some more time. Even if you've never seen the person and you chat to them on the internet, you are still running the very high risk of either developing intimate feelings for the person, having the person develop intimate feelings for you, or even both. This is very common and I have actually gone through that phase recently.

You're probably reading this post and starting to believe me about this. But you don't know how to end that haram friendship that your having with that guy or that girl. Here's what you can do: tell the person the situation and be completely honest with them. Chances are that the person would understand your intentions and you would part. Delete all of the contact info from your phone book etc. If the friendship was over msn, as the person to block you and delete you and you do the same inshaAllah. If that fails, just change your screenname and don't give the person your new screenname.
 
Anonymous Tester said:
:sl:

I really think its unsafe to have a friendship with someone from the opposite sex. You always end up having some sort of feelings for the person or vice versa. At the beginning, you feel as if its just "a person" and not "a guy" or "a girl." But then later on you begin to develop other kinds of feelings for the person. This sometimes happens quickly but sometimes it can take some more time. Even if you've never seen the person and you chat to them on the internet, you are still running the very high risk of either developing intimate feelings for the person, having the person develop intimate feelings for you, or even both. This is very common and I have actually gone through that phase recently.

You're probably reading this post and starting to believe me about this. But you don't know how to end that haram friendship that your having with that guy or that girl. Here's what you can do: tell the person the situation and be completely honest with them. Chances are that the person would understand your intentions and you would part. Delete all of the contact info from your phone book etc. If the friendship was over msn, as the person to block you and delete you and you do the same inshaAllah. If that fails, just change your screenname and don't give the person your new screenname.
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I think with younger people this is mostly true. You have the hormones racing around etc. But as you get older and the hormones settle down, I believe it is perfectly possible. Of course there are always some people that can never, but most people relax enough (hormones that is) for this to be possible.
 
SilentObserver said:
I think with younger people this is mostly true. You have the hormones racing around etc. But as you get older and the hormones settle down, I believe it is perfectly possible. Of course there are always some people that can never, but most people relax enough (hormones that is) for this to be possible.
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hi silent,

i would argue from knowing what is going off around me in my office that older people cannot control themselves also, or rather they choose not to.

in islam we dont just say, well i can control myself therefore the rules dont apply to me because the rules are for everyone to protect everyone so that the whole of society is protected.

this importance of protecting the whole of society is much more strongly stressed in islam and hence why Allah has given us these rules to follow which if we follow sincerely lead to a better more moral society as a whole.

Abu Abdullah
 
:sl:

the shaytaan is always there. it only takes one comment or even a ;) to start something.

I understand about the concerns of free-mixing, but for me it is a way of life - and I have always remained safe and secure (Am I just the exception???), as well as happily and faithfully married.
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Hi glo,
the ruling regarding free-mixing is not there because then everyone would be having affairs or anything. its there as a precaution. if just a minority are in an extra marital affair that in itself is such a destruction to the community, a break up of marriages/separation for children etc.
so the rule is there for everyone even though not everyone would be unfaithful. :)
 
There Can Be (Not)

Peace all,

In my personal belief, there can be genuine friendship even though one person, or both, may gain feelings for each other.

Just like in any relationship, if it's founded on respect and mutual understanding, it will thrive. The problem is that we as humans, are much weaker intellectually, and much better at following desires, which at the end of the day, can compromise the best of relationships.
 
Dawud_uk said:
hi silent,

i would argue from knowing what is going off around me in my office that older people cannot control themselves also, or rather they choose not to.

in islam we dont just say, well i can control myself therefore the rules dont apply to me because the rules are for everyone to protect everyone so that the whole of society is protected.

this importance of protecting the whole of society is much more strongly stressed in islam and hence why Allah has given us these rules to follow which if we follow sincerely lead to a better more moral society as a whole.

Abu Abdullah
Click to expand...

My opinion is that it is not necessary. Society as a whole has become corrupt. But that is a result of getting away from traditional values. There was a time when people lived more simple lives, and family was more important than anything else. Things were different then. Avoiding friendships with the opposite sex was not necessary. People just behaved in a more appropriate manner.
Some may argue that if we lived by this islamic teaching that we would have a more moral society. I think it true that if we went back to traditional values and more wholesome living, that we would have a more moral society.
 
bsgoohbi said:
:sl:

Hope you all are in good health and fine.

Do you think that there is pure friendship between male and female?

many of men and women have each other on messenger and keep talking when they are online.

they try to convince themselves that it is just pure friendship and will never lead to bad curve.

many of these relationship developed to love. whether it was ended with marriage or without marriage.

Can they have control and limit this relationship from going deeper?

do you mind to talk to men/women?

Wish to hear from you all.


Ahmad
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I would try to answer your question accordign to my islamic knowledge and practically
ISLAMICALLY
it is clear from hadith that when a man and a woman meets without a mahram their third companion is shaytwaan whic may lead to marriage ,zina ,etc but anyway it is wrong and you will fall into sin and transgression
if u are talking on the internet this condition does not apply because u are not physically present
In hadith muslim the prophet swallah allahu alaihi wa sallam did talk to woman in open public .remeber this is the prophet it is not u
from that hadith it is permitted to talk in public but what to talk about ,rubbish or halaal ..it would not be better for the woman to know to whom he is speaking ,the guy should be islamically of good reputation and limits are to be observed specially now when we are in the time of fitnah

PRACTICALLY
i work in abig company with more than two thousand employees , i have remarked that muslim women do not talk to muslim men but are more than familiar with others (hindu,christian,etc ,remember there may also be good people among them) the other side also is true muslim man do not talk to muslim woman but other women from another religion do not hesitate to talk to u
result
1:33% of muslim/muslim marriage are broken according to official survey
2: there are many inter religion marriage from man and woman also
around
around 1990 more than 4000 four thousand muslim woman has been married to those of other religion and r following the latter

it will be better for a muslim man to talk to a muslim woman or vice versa in the sense that if something like marriage may happen it would be islamically still on the right side . secondly many muslims know the boundaries better tahn the kaafirs or mushriks but beware of those jaahils ,ignoramuses


i have tried to the best of my knowledge to answer that question but i would like to add that many people in these chat room which are not islamic jsut talk about nonsense , jahiliyah and insult people like animals unjustly maas salaam
 
zaki.aumeerudy said:
I would try to answer your question accordign to my islamic knowledge and practically
ISLAMICALLY
it is clear from hadith that when a man and a woman meets without a mahram their third companion is shaytwaan whic may lead to marriage ,zina ,etc but anyway it is wrong and you will fall into sin and transgression
if u are talking on the internet this condition does not apply because u are not physically present
In hadith muslim the prophet swallah allahu alaihi wa sallam did talk to woman in open public .remeber this is the prophet it is not u
from that hadith it is permitted to talk in public but what to talk about ,rubbish or halaal ..it would not be better for the woman to know to whom he is speaking ,the guy should be islamically of good reputation and limits are to be observed specially now when we are in the time of fitnah

PRACTICALLY
i work in abig company with more than two thousand employees , i have remarked that muslim women do not talk to muslim men but are more than familiar with others (hindu,christian,etc ,remember there may also be good people among them) the other side also is true muslim man do not talk to muslim woman but other women from another religion do not hesitate to talk to u
result
1:33% of muslim/muslim marriage are broken according to official survey
2: there are many inter religion marriage from man and woman also
around
around 1990 more than 4000 four thousand muslim woman has been married to those of other religion and r following the latter

it will be better for a muslim man to talk to a muslim woman or vice versa in the sense that if something like marriage may happen it would be islamically still on the right side . secondly many muslims know the boundaries better tahn the kaafirs or mushriks but beware of those jaahils ,ignoramuses


i have tried to the best of my knowledge to answer that question but i would like to add that many people in these chat room which are not islamic jsut talk about nonsense , jahiliyah and insult people like animals unjustly maas salaam
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I agree with you to some extent though. Even if muslim men are getting into marriage with other races, that still wouldn't be an excuse for men and women to interact in this way. But then again the above point also makes sense. In my opinion pure friendship between male and females don't really exist, and even if you are going out with someone with the intention that you will marry them, most of the time things don't go the right way. It's always better to talk and ask each other where this relationship is going to save oneself from pain and sins. At the end of the day it's all down to the intentions of the two.

I hope i avent said anyfing to hurt anyone and may Allah forgive us all for the sins we have commited.

Salam
 
:sl: No there is no such thing as pure friendship between a woman and a man, and secondly...most importantly..its not allowed in Islam.
Simple.
:w:
 
youngsister said:
:sl: No there is no such thing as pure friendship between a woman and a man:w:
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simply not true. I have had, and still do have such friendships with women. There are many people that do. Many people are taught to believe this is not possible through culture and religion. And for those people, it never will be possible. For many of us that have not been taught this, we don't have this problem.
 

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