Coping with Depression, stress and anger

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

I do turn to him and pray, but Allah (swt) is not listening to my prayers. I hvae been praying for happiness in my life for years and years, but all I get is treacherous pain and heartache that makes me feel suicidal

I don't want to lose faith in Allah (swt), but i'm scared because I feel he's not helping me and he wants me to suffer no matter how much I pray.

I'm because I think I am losing faith, I don't want to, it's just the way I feel. How can I keep my faith in Allah? Pls help i'm so scared.

 

[Snowflake]

Re: Im so depressed

No I haven't, my problems are getting worse and worse, Allah is not on my side, Allah hates me, he is making me suffer.

dear sis,

I've learnt one thing in life. And that is that when we do our best to please Allah, He bestows His help and Mercy in return and eases our troubles for us. Sometimes, Allah sends help through others and sometimes He gives us the strength and wisdom to find solutions. But what He never does is abandon His creation when they to Him for help.

A healthy relationship, whether it'd be with humanbeings or with our Creator, is based on giving and taking and the fulfilment of their rights. Allah doesn't even ask much of us, and even that which He asks of us is for our own benefit. Allah doesn't need us for anything, it's us who need Him for everything.

He has blessed us with the means of earning His pleasure, through our deeds. Allah doesn't say leave everything and worship me 24/7, 365 days year. No! He has given us salah (namaz) to attain closeness to Him and earn His pleasure by worshipping Him and duaa to ask for His Mercy and Blessings. Why? So that He may help US.

If I didn't pray and strive to gain Allah's pleasure through additional means, I would not feel worthy of even His tiniest blessing. And if I was facing troubles and grief, I'd never blame Allah for my situation. What right would I have to expect Allah's help when I cannot even fulfil the rights of my Creator? I wouldn't feel worthy of His help and would only blame myself for the mess I'm in. If I displease Allah, He has every right to punish me and I will never begrudge Him that right.


Admit, for your own sake that you have displeased Allah and without repenting and striving to please Him, do not expect Him to give you what you have not earned. Allah has shown you how to attain His pleasure through the Quran and Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH).. It's up to you now.


Allah is on your side. But are you? It simply isn't desirable to expect Allah to be there when we ourselves distance ourselves from Him.

"And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him" (Qur'an: Talaq, 3).

"And remember! Your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): if you are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; but if you show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed" (Qur'an: lbrahim, 7).

"And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins-and who can forgive sins except Allah?-and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in the wrong they have done. For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Garden with rivers flowing underneath, an eternal dwelling. How excellent a recompense for those Who work (Grid strive)" (Qur'an: AI-Imran, 135-1.16).

Does that show that Allah hates you? Please sis, do not say such things. I even personally cannot take it. But given your ignorance in the Mercy and Kindness of my Allah, I have sympathy for you. Please forgive me if I sound harsh. I pray Allah gives you hidayah and to us all, inshaAllah. Ameen.

 

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

No you are not being harsh at all, you are only saying whats right. I feel so ashamed and guilty for thinking those things. But sometimes when things are too much to handle for me, I get so so angry and I can't control it.

I go out and see cars and buses going past me on the road, and I feel like jumping in front of them, but then I think about my family and I can't do it. Sis i'm so miserable. I'm not just saying this, but i feel like I am slowly dying.

 

[Maimunah]

Re: Im so depressed

I do turn to him and pray, but Allah (swt) is not listening to my prayers. I hvae been praying for happiness in my life for years and years, but all I get is treacherous pain and heartache that makes me feel suicidal

I don't want to lose faith in Allah (swt), but i'm scared because I feel he's not helping me and he wants me to suffer no matter how much I pray.

I'm because I think I am losing faith, I don't want to, it's just the way I feel. How can I keep my faith in Allah? Pls help i'm so scared.

salaam sis,
the prophet sallalahu aleyhi wasalaam said "Call to Allah with certainty of being answered. And know that Allah does not respond to the du'a from a heart which is forgetful or frivolous." At-Tirmidhi

Allah said "And when my slave asks you about me, I am surely close. I answer the du'aa of the caller when he calls me. So, let him respond to Me and believe in Me that perchance he may be guided.} Al-Baqarah:186

Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“duas and ta’awwudhaat [prayers seeking refuge with Allaah] are like a weapon, and a weapon is only as good as the person who is using it; it is not merely the matter of how sharp it is. If the weapon is perfect and free of faults, and the arm of the person using it is strong, and there is nothing stopping him, then he can lay waste the enemy. But if any of these three features is lacking, then the effect will be lacking accordingly.”

(al-Daa’ wa’l-Dawaa’, p. 35).

Things which may prevent dua from being answered include:

When the dua is weak in itself, because it involves something inappropriate, or involves bad manners towards Allaah, may He be exalted, or it is inappropriate, which means asking Allaah for something which it is not permitted to ask, e.g. when a man asks to live forever in this world, or he asks for a sin or something haraam, or he prays that he will die, and so on. Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A person's duas will continue to be answered so long as he does not pray for something sinful or for the breaking of family ties.” Narrated by Muslim.

so never loose hope sis, inshaAllah know that Allah is testing you and that HE loves you. be patient the prophets of Allah were tested too. think about prophet yaquub Aleyhi salaam and what he went through. he never lost hope in Allah. you should feel happy the fact that Allah is testing you for he is removing your sins out of His mercy. Allah is the All Wise, He knows fully why this happening to you "Should He not know what He created ? And He is the Subtile, the Aware" (suraa 67). think about it sis

check this site, maybe it will help you
http://www.islamiclifestyles.com/dua.htm

may Allah increase you in imaan and taqwa

 

[islamway]

Re: Im so depressed

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “If there comes to you with an offer of marriage (for your daughter, sister, etc.) one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter, sister, etc, to) him. If you do not do so, there will be mischief on earth and widespread corruption.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1004; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 270)

even if after knowing as a mulim something which angers Allaah, Who has forbidden believing women to do such things in the Qur’an (interpretation of the meaning): “… they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25].

This is not permitted at all, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them…” [al-Mumtahinah 60:10]

there is no way out of this problem now except one: this man must become Muslim in a real sense.

sister as brother in islam i can just say you a god advice and a better one.First of all forget the past and repent to Allah for what you have done open heartedly.Sister the life of th world is nothing but a game of attractions for every soul shall pay the price for what it had done for every drop of blood that got attracted or forced for will be counted.Sister why dont you understand your in this world for a test and that person whom you even knew that he was a kafir you are responsible to bring him in your life ,so sister in this also is your test remember Every self will taste death. We test
you with both good and evil as a trial.
And you will be returned to Us.
(Qur'an, 21:35)
[Have we not] shown him the two highways? But he has not braved the steep ascent. What will convey to you what the steep ascent is? It is freeing a slave or feeding on a day of hunger an orphaned relative or a poor man in the dust; then to be one of those who believe and urge each other to steadfastness and urge each other to compassion. Those are the Companions of the Right. Those who reject Our signs, they are the Companions of the Left. Above them is a sealed vault of Fire. (Surat al-Balad, 10-20)

"Did you suppose that We created you for amusement and that you would not return to Us?" (Surah Ghafir, 115) and "I only created jinn and man to worship Me" (Surat adh-Dhariyat, 56).

"the life of this world, compared to the Hereafter, is only fleeting enjoyment" (Surat ar-Ra`d, 26).

He Who created death and life to test which of you is best in action. He is the Almighty, the Ever-Forgiving. (Surat al-Mulk, 2)

Say: "Shall I inform you of the greatest losers in their actions? People whose efforts in the life of this world are misguided while they suppose that they are doing good." Those are the people who reject their Lord's Signs and the meeting with Him. Their actions will come to nothing and, on the Day of Resurrection, We will not assign them any weight. (Surat al-Kahf, 103-5)

sister there is no doubt your being put to trial by Allah ,see as you were leving your past you tried to forget him but that person comes in ur thoughts and whenever you do something ,sister that is saitan who wants you to get angry on Allah,sister when you remember Allah with faith and his gudance then only you can gain freedom from saitan,saitan wants you with him and go against Allah.

(Allaah) said: “(O Iblees) get down from this (Paradise), it is not for you to be arrogant here. Get out, for you are of those humiliated and disgraced.”

(Iblees) said: “Allow me respite till the Day they are raised up (i.e. the Day of Resurrection).”

(Allaah) said: “You are of those respited.”

(Iblees) said: “Because You have sent me astray, surely, I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your straight path.

“Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).”

(Allaah) said (to Iblees): “Get out from this (Paradise), disgraced and expelled. Whoever of them (mankind) will follow you, then surely, I will fill Hell with you all.”’

[al-A’raaf 7:11-18]

Allaah tells us what the Shaytaan said when he was informed that he would be expelled and cast away from the mercy of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

‘[Iblees (Satan)] said: “By Your Might, then I will surely, mislead them all,


“Except Your chosen slaves amongst them (i.e. faithful, obedient, true believers of Islamic Monotheism).”

(Allaah) said: “The truth is — and the truth I say

. That I will fill Hell with you [Iblees (Satan)] and those of them (mankind) that follow you, together.”’

[Saad 38:82-85]

‘And Shaytaan (Satan) will say when the matter has been decided: “Verily, Allaah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, and you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Satan) as a partner with Allaah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers).”’

[Ibraaheem 14:22]


sister your main goal in this world is:-
Race each other to forgiveness from
your Lord, and a Garden [i.e., Paradise]
as wide as the heavens and Earth,
prepared for those who do their duty.
(Surah Al 'Imran, 133)

after reading this i hope sister inshallah ALLAH willing you start a new life,AMEEN may Allah free you from the traps of saitan AMEEN.

 

[tomtomsmom]

Re: Im so depressed

I have a joke to tell. but I don't want you to think I am making light of the situation you are in. It is only to help me prove a point.

A boat in the middle of the oceans sinks and the man on board is floating in the water. A boat comes by and asks if he needs help. The man says "No, God will save me".
Another boat comes by and asks if he needs help. He says "No, God will save me. Then the man drowns. When he gets to heaven he goes to God and asks him "ohhh God why didn't you save me from drowning???"
And God says to him "well I sent you two boats dummy, what more could I do???"

What I am trying to say here is, have faith that God will help you. But don't think that his help will magically appear. The actions have to be yours. You have to be pro-active in getting your life together. Don't take anything for granted. You never know who God has sent to help you.

 

[Snowflake]

Re: Im so depressed

I have a joke to tell. but I don't want you to think I am making light of the situation you are in. It is only to help me prove a point.

A boat in the middle of the oceans sinks and the man on board is floating in the water. A boat comes by and asks if he needs help. The man says "No, God will save me".
Another boat comes by and asks if he needs help. He says "No, God will save me. Then the man drowns. When he gets to heaven he goes to God and asks him "ohhh God why didn't you save me from drowning???"
And God says to him "well I sent you two boats dummy, what more could I do???"

What I am trying to say here is, have faith that God will help you. But don't think that his help will magically appear. The actions have to be yours. You have to be pro-active in getting your life together. Don't take anything for granted. You never know who God has sent to help you.

lol good example. I especially agree with your last sentence.

 

[madeenahsh]

Re: Im so depressed

Asallam alaikum warahmatullaah

Sis do u have paltalk or msn? would u plis pass it over if possible

JazakhaAllaah kheiran

wasallam alaikum

 

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

Asallam alaikum warahmatullaah

Sis do u have paltalk or msn? would u plis pass it over if possible

JazakhaAllaah kheiran

wasallam alaikum

I tried to private message you my msn add, but I can't, It says I have to have posted 50 or more posts to send private messages. How can I do it?

 

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

I have a joke to tell. but I don't want you to think I am making light of the situation you are in. It is only to help me prove a point.

A boat in the middle of the oceans sinks and the man on board is floating in the water. A boat comes by and asks if he needs help. The man says "No, God will save me".
Another boat comes by and asks if he needs help. He says "No, God will save me. Then the man drowns. When he gets to heaven he goes to God and asks him "ohhh God why didn't you save me from drowning???"
And God says to him "well I sent you two boats dummy, what more could I do???"

What I am trying to say here is, have faith that God will help you. But don't think that his help will magically appear. The actions have to be yours. You have to be pro-active in getting your life together. Don't take anything for granted. You never know who God has sent to help you.

Lol, Thank you for replying. I like the way you put your point across. :smile:

At the moment i'm looking at my life and thinking, who could be sent by God to help me? I can think of a couple of people, and I am very greatful, Alhumdo lillah, because I thought I had no one.Thank you for making me realise that Allah (swt) IS helping in some way or other, I just couldn't see it. I Hope Allah (swt) forgives me for my sins.

Ameen.

 

[tomtomsmom]

Re: Im so depressed

Lol, Thank you for replying. I like the way you put your point across. :smile:

At the moment i'm looking at my life and thinking, who could be sent by God to help me? I can think of a couple of people, and I am very greatful, Alhumdo lillah, because I thought I had no one.Thank you for making me realise that Allah (swt) IS helping in some way or other, I just couldn't see it. I Hope Allah (swt) forgives me for my sins.

Ameen.

I am so glad that in some small way I could help you!!!!!
You never know, maybe God sent you here to this forum so you could get the help and support that you need. And yes, if you will be forgiven for your sins dear.

Btw-you have a pm!!!!

 

[madeenahsh]

Re: Im so depressed

Asallam alaikum
Sis do have paltalk .if so could u add id .maganyakulo to ur list.

yeah u cant send me pm until, u have reached the maxi post and thats 50 post's Allaahu mustaan.

InshAllaah kheir , just try to add this id and see it works if not let me know
Wsallam alaikum

 

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

I am so glad that in some small way I could help you!!!!!
You never know, maybe God sent you here to this forum so you could get the help and support that you need. And yes, if you will be forgiven for your sins dear.

Btw-you have a pm!!!!

Thank you very much for that, I will add you next time I go on msn.

Allah Hafiz

 

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

Asallam alaikum
Sis do have paltalk .if so could u add id .maganyakulo to ur list.

yeah u cant send me pm until, u have reached the maxi post and thats 50 post's Allaahu mustaan.

InshAllaah kheir , just try to add this id and see it works if not let me know
Wsallam alaikum

Sorry i've never heard of paltalk???
By the way can you private message me your msn as I can't msg you.

 

[islamway]

Re: Im so depressed

even if a person helps you while you were dying thank Allah only,its only because of his mercy you got saved, break the promise of shaitan that no one will thank Allah “Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).”[al-A’raaf 7:11-18]

sister thank ALLAH ONLY HE BROUGHT OUT FROM DARKNESS.JUST A MILLION TIMES TO ALLAH ALONE ONLY HE DESERVES TO BE THANKED.

JAZAKLLAHKHAIR.:smile:

 

[Snowflake]

Re: Im so depressed

No you are not being harsh at all, you are only saying whats right. I feel so ashamed and guilty for thinking those things. But sometimes when things are too much to handle for me, I get so so angry and I can't control it.

I go out and see cars and buses going past me on the road, and I feel like jumping in front of them, but then I think about my family and I can't do it. Sis i'm so miserable. I'm not just saying this, but i feel like I am slowly dying.

sis,

When you say you pray.. do you mean making supplications or offering salah? Salah is also known as 'contact prayer'. This is when you are closest to Allah in direct contact with him. Without fulfilling our duties to Allah it is like asking your boss to give you wages without having done any work.

The neeyah (intention) of salah should be of worshipping/praising Allah. Not going through the motions and then hoping your duaas will be answered. Allah knows what's inside our hearts. Offer salah regularly and see how Allah bestows His mercy on you.

Sis, when I said Allah can may you through others, It doesn't mean that someone will knock on your door and say, "Oh, I heard you need a house/job etc.. I will give you one!" It means that Allah will put mercy in peoples hearts so that they will help and support you, when you approach them.

Have you taken any practical steps to look for a job and get help with housing matters? I hope you have inshaAllah.

Recite 'astaghfirullah' frequently and give sadka in the name of Allah. InshaAllah He will remove obstacles hindering your progress.

Pray salat-ul-hajat. InshaAllah Allah will answer your needs.
http://www.islamicacademy.org/cgi-bin/DUAP.cgi?ID=Hajaat_A.rm

Hope to hear some good news soon inshaAllah.

 

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

sis,

When you say you pray.. do you mean making supplications or offering salah? Salah is also known as 'contact prayer'. This is when you are closest to Allah in direct contact with him. Without fulfilling our duties to Allah it is like asking your boss to give you wages without having done any work.

The neeyah (intention) of salah should be of worshipping/praising Allah. Not going through the motions and then hoping your duaas will be answered. Allah knows what's inside our hearts. Offer salah regularly and see how Allah bestows His mercy on you.

Sis, when I said Allah can may you through others, It doesn't mean that someone will knock on your door and say, "Oh, I heard you need a house/job etc.. I will give you one!" It means that Allah will put mercy in peoples hearts so that they will help and support you, when you approach them.

Have you taken any practical steps to look for a job and get help with housing matters? I hope you have inshaAllah.

Recite 'astaghfirullah' frequently and give sadka in the name of Allah. InshaAllah He will remove obstacles hindering your progress.

Pray salat-ul-hajat. InshaAllah Allah will answer your needs.
http://www.islamicacademy.org/cgi-bin/DUAP.cgi?ID=Hajaat_A.rm

Hope to hear some good news soon inshaAllah.

Salaam sis, how r u? Hope your ok. I will be totally honest with you, please don't think i'm a bad person for not praying every single day.

I don't pray namaz 5 times a day like I should. But I do pray as much as I can, I read Qu'ran Sharif as much as I can, i also read different Surah's like Surah Yaseen, Surah Muzamill. But with namaz I used to pray what I could.

Like when I came back from work I prayed Kaza followed by Isha namaaz, but then someone told me you can't pray kaza namaz if you miss the namaz deliberatly.

If i'm at work I dont pray, I know that is very wrong, I used to come home and pray kaza to catch up on all the missed ones. But i Stopped after someone told me I can't do that. I thought it was better to pray something than nothing at all, but I guess not.

I'm so confused though, please enlighten me on the following...

If I come back from work and I haven't prayed any of the Salah, but I still have time to pray Isha... can I still pray Isha namaz if the others were missed?

If I missed all the Salah and I come home from work, can I still pray Kaza followed by Isha namaz? Don't you think it's better to pray something rather than nothing?

I know people will tell me to pray at work, but if I don't can I still do the above? The thing is, i've never been very religious, i've always been quite westernised, but when I started praying and reading Qu'ran Sharif, people in my family were really surprised and happy. I'm trying my best to become more religious, InshahAllah. But for now i'm trying to do what I can.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Re: Im so depressed

sis i think it is definitly better to pray something then nothing but inshaAllaah we should still try our best to pray at work on time. salaah is the most important thing, if we cant even give time for that then... subhanAllaah.

I hope Allaah helps you find a way to pray your salaah's on time inshaAllaah


:salamext:

 

[Tanya Khan]

Re: Im so depressed

Do you think I will get bad luck or be punished if I don't pray at work, and only pray when i'm at home? Or do you think Allah (swt) will still be pleased with me for praying???

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Re: Im so depressed

Do you think I will get bad luck or be punished if I don't pray at work, and only pray when i'm at home? Or do you think Allah (swt) will still be pleased with me for praying???

sis theres millions of muslims out there who work in offices and pray in offices, im one of them. Allaah swt is the most forgiving, the most merciful but subhanAllaah we shouldnt test him, lets do as he said. Please sis try your best to pray on time inshaAllaah. But if you really really, REALLY (afta trying your utmost best cant) then inshaAllaah Allaah is the most forgiving.

Allahu a'lam.

personally when i dont pray on time, i await something bad to happen and get scared....