Opposite Gender Concerns

[youngsister]

Re: i dont know what to do

Hola
sister i am so sorry to hear this, it can be hard but cmon this guy doesnt seem to respect you.

Sometime is so hard to let go and you will start to be in denial you will overlook all his bad points and all the horrible things hes done and still doing to you now.
Sister dating isnt even allowed sis try to increase your Iman and even though is hard you have to give him up you will gain many good deeds, you leaving something haram for Allah swt sake, and how good will that feel later on?!

 

[IceQueen~]

Re: i dont know what to do

sis how can u marry him when he isn't practising or respecting you? if his family hates you this is going to cause a lot of trouble which may only increase after marriage...

if he's being mean now because of his family how do u know he'll change?

erm and the other thing is that if you two are having 'relations' with eachother (b4) marriage then marrying eachother without tawbah is not allowed --
muslims are not allowed to marry adulterers

I know it sounds hard and you love him but it's not worth wrecking ur life over a guy who's not practsing and who's only going to make u miserable (whether its family or etc)

one always regrets afterwards so it's best not even to get into marriage in the first place

pray to Allah and trust in Him- leave sins for His sake and He'll find a way out for you from ur situation inshaAllah

May Allah guide u and keep u strong in iman amiin

 

[Snowflake]

Re: i dont know what to do

ive been sad for many months now. i know dating is not allowed but ive have been with my b/f for about a year n a half now. his family hates me. they tell me that i shouldnt be muslim and spanish people arent allowed to marry arabic men. spanish women are allowed to be muslim because we are such a disgrace to the religion. his mom has threats me all the time. then he has treated me so horrible in front of them. also he hasnt been good to allah lately. he lost his faith in allah and ive tried to help him because he used to be a very good muslim. ever since his family has told him how they feel, he changed. he tells me horrible things and breaks my heart. but other days he acts as if he never said those things. he says sorry but keeps doing it. i dont wanna leave him because i love him and i have faith in him but its hard. we are planning to get married and im scared because im heartbroken. what should i do???

You know what sis? If I was doing something wrong and people hated me, I'd accept the fact that I deserved it! After all you are displeasing Allah, so why should people be pleased with you? For what?

Forget what he said or his family said. Just remember that what you are doing is haram in the eyes of Allah. You are in a haram relationship - yet you're expecting it to bring you happiness?

what should i do?

Get out fast! When on the Day of Judgment you'll be called to account for your deeds, Allah won't ask what the guy, or his mother, father, brother said. He'll ask why you brought destruction upon yourself by disobeying His Commands. What answer will you give then?

Please fear Allah and get out of this harampoona (haram doings). You will never find happiness until you start obeying Allah subhan watala. Are the desires of this life worth more than your fate in the here-after? I should think not! There's nothing to think about. Do it now for the sake of Allah and for the sake of your fate in the here-after.

 

[anonymous]

Re: brothers.staring

juz say "hey hav i got a tv on ma hed or sumfin?" nah u gota say sumfin like, why u starin at me, never seen a beautiful muslim gal eh eh

LYK YA STYYYYYYYYEEE GALLL, Yup dats exactly wat Id do if i was u, jus go up 2 em n say YO WAG1 WAS'APNIIIIIIIIIIIIIN N DATTTTTT DO I KNOW U? DO I WANA KNOW U? ERRR NOOOOOOOO SO JUS LIKE DOOOOO 1. SAFE N DAT. AHAHAHAHAHHAA LOL OOOOOOOK maybe not the best advice, jus dont give them the satisfaction of knowin its botherin you, jus ACT COOL, Dont luk bak n do ya thannnnng as u wud do if they werent there COOL? Okey doke, tc peopleeeeeeeeeee, dee 1 n only AsIaN_qUeEn ( YeS yEs Me sTiLl aLiVe n WeLl n i aLsO MiSs u aLl loaDs 2 lol tc peple) P.S, Dis place dead widout me lol yea i can feel my hed expandin n all lol jkes t/c w/s BUH-BYE

 

[anonymous]

Re: brothers.staring

U wore a hoodie that said 'Holla back' on it and when he did u didnt like it.


which begs the question........


why wear a hoodie that says 'Holla back' on it in public in the first place?????
wear one that says nothing on it. why attract the attention?

Save ur holla hoddies for when ur among mahrams and girlfriends.

nyyyyyc 1 bruva!!

 

[chacha_jalebi]

Re: brothers.staring

lol @ zayd down tiger down

1st of all, i think everyone stares lol, even the kuffar stare even the muslims stare . just dont let it get to you, if he whispered summin bout you, then remem that comes to backbitin and he will get the punishment not you sista dont let stuff get to ya

 

[Kittygyal]

Re: brothers.staring

salamualikum.
woow subhnallah good bro Ash *still bought the specs yet*
ma'assalama

 

[Mawaddah]

Re: brothers.staring

Sis, I wouldn't bother about it much if I was you, I've experienced that loads of times from the muslim brothers, and it's even more funnier because I wear the Niqab!

But sis, you just have to show yourself to be firm and if something like that happens, then you must just look ahead and walk firmly, like someone said, put out some strong body language! Dont go and duck and act embarrased and all of that because that gives the wrong message to them sometimes.

And also, dont be so quick to judge people insha'allah, who knows if they are pious or not? and people make mistakes.

Take care sis

 

[H4RUN]

Re: brothers.staring



Lapse of 'piousness'? Either they just have issues, a nut loose in their heads or just plain dodgy lads...Or maybe it was a coincidence that they saw you when you looked up, and may well have lowered their gazes once you looked away, a possibility...

But ignore 'em, they are not getting anything out of it, well actually they are...they're getting their actions recorded... all in all, if they making a joke about something concerning you= back biting...and back biting is something that should be tried to be avoided because if i remember corecctly its like eating the flesh off your brother?

Best thing you can do sis, is ignore, walk on, or another way

 

[snakelegs]

Re: brothers.staring

one of the few advantages of being old is that you become "irrelevant" in this way and do not have to put up with being stared at like a piece of meat any more - i love that!
so i sympathize with you - i remember very well howi used to hate that and found it very demeaning. (and i wasn't even religious and i didn't dress "sexy"!).

 

[kerpal_g]

Re: i dont know what to do

Sister, you must push him away. If the families don't get along, it will put strain on your relationship (as it is right now) and imagine how much worse it would be if you got married. What if you had kids? they wouldn't have a good family supporting them, they might have a mother and father, but that's it. They'd have grandparents that wouldn't want to look at them.

Push him away, observe patience and seek refuge in Allah. it's a lot to ask for, I know and I understand, don't think others don't know what you're going through. Imagine how hard it is for him, he loves you but his family does not, he is being pulled from two sides and he is trying to make a choice, you or his family? It explains why he does stupid things sometimes, you must expect to get kicked around by love, that's what it does at times. it's going to be a hard road, but Allah always loves you and is there for you, you just need to seek refuge in Him. Allah never abandons us, it is us who abandon Him, and then we wonder why our lives are terrible...it might be the wrong choice, and it cuts your heart like a shamshir but through hardship you will become stronger, and will be rewarded in the Hereafter. Remain steadfast in prayer, keep your faith strong and obey His laws, they might upset you but Allah knows best. InshAllah things work out for you sister...

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Re: brothers.staring

finished my lesson and was walking out about 5 brothers (who act kind pious(pray all the time) were standing at the gates i had to pass them, and 1 of them made a comment to the others(and kind of laughed, he is meant to be the pious 1 ) and as i was walking by they stared soo much, i tried to ignore it but i cant explain the feeling it was as if they were hurting me with their eyes my lips went sooo dry i couldnt walk properly and yes i made a fool of myself.
they knew i was really really uncomfortable. I am really upset by this
i always though of myself as being a confident person and didnt care what others did but this got to me. and the annoying thing is i am going to see them all again tomorrow.
why are they acting like this?
jazakallah khair for reading this pathetic lil story

Sis dont know why u so worried about what they said. they probably were'nt even talking about you..

Don't know why they would say anything bad about a sister covered..You probably just misunderstood them.

 

[Malaikah]

Re: i dont know what to do

they tell me that i shouldnt be muslim and spanish people arent allowed to marry arabic men. spanish women are allowed to be muslim because we are such a disgrace to the religion.

You have every right to be Muslim, and you have every right to marry a man of any nationality, Arab, African, Spanish, anything, as long as he is Muslim!

 

[Grace Seeker]

Re: i dont know what to do

You have every right to be Muslim, and you have every right to marry a man of any nationality, Arab, African, Spanish, anything, as long as he is Muslim!

¡Sí! Eso es verdad. Aunque soy ni español ni musulmán, acuerdo que nadie tiene la derecha a decirte que no puedes ser muselina. Que ellos piensen eso es comprobación (lo siento a decirlo) que su familia es racista y intolerante. ¿En verdad, sabes quién no es un seguidor verdadero del Islam? Cualquier persona que diría que alguien no puede ser muselina porque ella es una mujer española. ¡Qué lastima!

 

[mariah]

Re: i dont know what to do

Sister, It is Haraam period.

 

[HIJABI***]

Re: brothers.staring

sister i suggest u just ignore them they prob want ur attention and want u 2 get miffed at them they prob get bowd of doing it soon!!
sum ppl just dont fear Allah and lower their gaze!!!

 

[HIJABI***]

Re: brothers.staring

U wore a hoodie that said 'Holla back' on it and when he did u didnt like it.


which begs the question........


why wear a hoodie that says 'Holla back' on it in public in the first place?????
wear one that says nothing on it. why attract the attention?

Save ur holla hoddies for when ur among mahrams and girlfriends.

GUD POINT BROTHER I WAS JUS GNA SAY THAT LOLZZZZZZZZ

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Re: brothers.staring

salam jazakallah kheir for all your answers salam

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Re: brothers.staring

salam jazakallah kheir for all your answers salam

:salamext:

dont worry sister , next time inshaAllah they wont do that.


LoL some of you need to consider this sisters feelings, you might end up embarassing her, its ok sister dont worry

 

[nelly]

Re: Sisters wearing tight &revealing clothes

well maybe she had just started wearin a head scarf and eventually she may hav stopped wearin tight fitting clothes, in her own time. Although u may hav tried ur best 2 giv her advice and help her she probably took in offensively u tryin to correct her.
im not perfect myself, i wear jilbab but i wear different colours,not bright ones, like grey, beige, dark green etc. and i dnt feel like im drawin attention to myself coz i wear these colours. I'd think i'd like to correct the more important sins i make everyday wivout realisin, than worry about wot colours to wear.