Hi there..
I hope you dont mind but if i may step in and clarify some things..
Firstly! it goes against us to have big wedding functions where money has been spent endlessly.. rather if we
can spare that money, we should spend in the way of the Allah! by giving charity, helping poor people.. obviously charity starts with family so you can start with supporting your brother, sister immediate family and then if u still have spare cash u give it outside of family.. (charity never stops for a muslim)
Ayah261 “ The parable of those who spend their substance in the way of Allah is that of a grain of corn: it grows seven ears, and each ear has a hundred grain. Allah gives manifold increase to whom He pleases: and Allah cares for all and He knows all things.”
So, i hope u can see that spending in the way of Allah, not only gives us reward in the hereafter but the little we do spend doubles itself (InshaAllah). You wont disagree with me that enourmous amounts of money is spent on wedding ceremonies even if it is a day function.. unlike the pakistani version which lasts 3 days even over 2 week period, little group gatherings every other night.... Anyway, forget that! just an example of how much gets spent.. ppl feel obligated to spend, whether they have money or not..how? borrowing, getting loans, using the over-draft.. yes! now, you know that happens too because almost all weddings have the bride+groom outfits, a venue, additional costs (flowers, food, decoration, service) after party, the travel, getting groomed and honeymoon... its a long struggle to return to normal state. (not forgetting putting a strain on the marriage.. depending on how individuals cope - bad way to start a marriage isnt it?)
Now wot would u do if you die in between that period.. of borrowing and returning... ur funeral prayers cant be sed for u if you are in debt... but what if all ur other family members r in debt too.. wot a sad state!
Now if a family member of yours does something so awful, like do a strip show at ur local club.. would u carry on going there? would u stop them? u know by going there u encourage them... anyway! it was an extreme example but i couldnt think of something that might discourage u.. modesty/simplicity must by maintained at all times.. be it through weddings or funerals..
I'm not saying going to ur non-muslim brother's wedding is bad.. but it shows encouragement.. it may be the happiest day of his life but rather be there through the rest of his happy years then to see one happy day and the rest burdened - him being a slave to money!
There are threads which can clarify this for u.. and i am not the best at explaining but i'm trying.. i hope u can see it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuYbP07ltn4
and yes, this is not the best of the videos.. but this is the nikah ceremonies where our imam pronouces them husband and wife.. I think through english wedding when the couple's vows r being read.. no1 is doing the bungy-jumping.. its a time to purely think and ponder over what a marriage is... i.e. a refreshment for the married ones and a reminder of the responsibility/commitment for the unmarried one. We make du'a (for the couple).. could anything better be done?
I'm sorry if i offended u..
Peace out!