Have you ever seen a person die?

**Beardo** · 01-05-2010

I know this is an odd question. But if you have, could you share that experience?

I personally never saw this. Nor has anyone close to me died.. yet...

But I was wondering perhaps you could share your stories and the lessons you learned from it.

One of my friends... He's only 15, and his mother died...

So sudden. Just collapsed...

**Woodrow** · 01-07-2010

Originally Posted by Italianguy

Ever since yesterday when i posted my response all I can see in my mind is that kid i mentioned on the fishing trip i was on that died

.......I can't get that immage out of my head

.......I mean...I did everything I could, i really did....If I stayed with him i would have drowned too...I beg God to forgive me, everyday for not being able to cut those steel lines

.....I just couldn't stay under any longer....by the time I came up for air, the boat was about 50 feet under water and sinking

.....now all i can see is his facial expression of utter fear and his screaming for his mother

........I can't do this anymore....I feel as if it is my fault. I could have tried going back down?, i could have tried so much more. ...it was 20 foot seas though and the water was so cold and beating us up.....for a year i saw his face every minute of the day.....Is this my fault?? I feel as if it is.

I wan't to say a million excuses on how i couldn't have done anythng more, and the others on my boat said what I did was heroic.....How? He died, and the last thing he saw was me. I don't know what to do to try to forgive myself? Maybe I never will.

While in our life times we eventually become a witness to death many times. The death that affects us the most is one we feel we could have prevented. It is much easier to be the one who dies than being the one who lives after we experience seeing such a death. We go through frequent personal hell and self torture, criticizing our selves as, we become possessed with the idea we could have saved that person. We torture ourselves with visions of how simple it would have been to save the person if only we had.............done what ever we think we failed to do.

The simple truth is we have done all we could do at the moment. It may not have been what should have been done, but it is all we could have done at the moment. Death only takes one heart beat that never comes when it is needed. Saving the person from that moment takes advance notice and full knowledge of what needs to be done with no time allowed to plan a course of action. If that plan does not occur without thought, the fact is it was never intended for us to save that person's life. It is not a failure, it is simply not having the needed tools or ability to save the person.

It is hard to see a person die when later we can see a method by which we could have saved the person. But, there is no blame, there was a reason beyond out control that we could not see or act upon a course of action to save the person. We need not suffer from guilt over that which is beyond our control. We have no right to place our thoughts into self belief that we are omnipotent and capable of doing all things.

Sorry, my fellow companion in life. You are not omnipotent, like all of us you do not have the ability to do all things. Do not over value your worth by thinking you could have saved that person. Accept the fact you are limited and know that you could not have saved that person, no matter how much your ego is trying to make you believe you could have. It is not your fault that you were not chosen as an instrument to save that person. Nor would it have been of your own abilities if you had become the instrument to save that person. Unless we choose to deliberately murder a person, we have very little control over if a person will live or die.

**Muslim Woman** · 01-08-2010

Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah

...covered him with the blanket properly so he won't feel cold.

so sorry sis . I can feel your pain as I also lost my dad .

May Allah grant Jannat to them and us , Ameen.

**Snowflake** · 01-08-2010

Ameen ukhti. May Allah grant your father Jannatul Firdaws. Ameen.

**Abdul Qadir** · 01-10-2010

Originally Posted by Rashad

I know this is an odd question. But if you have, could you share that experience?

I personally never saw this. Nor has anyone close to me died.. yet...

But I was wondering perhaps you could share your stories and the lessons you learned from it.

One of my friends... He's only 15, and his mother died...

So sudden. Just collapsed...

Youtube "death"..many interesting vids..

**Ramadhan** · 01-11-2010

Originally Posted by Abdul Qadir

Youtube "death"..many interesting vids..

I find it very morbid and in extremely bad taste to post someone's dying moments on the internet for all to see.

**Abdul Qadir** · 01-11-2010

Originally Posted by naidamar

I find it very morbid and in extremely bad taste to post someone's dying moments on the internet for all to see.

I agree with u...i wouldn't want my death to be recorded and to be circulated around...

**cat eyes** · 01-11-2010

yeah i did. people ask me but i dont talk about it because i will start crying to much. i sometimes get flash backs

**Shifaa** · 01-15-2010

I saw my grandmother (may Allah grants her Jannat) died. she was suffering from lung cancer and she suffered a lot. I loved and will continue to love her. She was the best grandma. She died at the age of 56, with this terrible disease. I would have been so happy if she would have been here.

**Santoku** · 01-17-2010

Originally Posted by Rashad

I know this is an odd question. But if you have, could you share that experience?

I personally never saw this. Nor has anyone close to me died.. yet...

But I was wondering perhaps you could share your stories and the lessons you learned from it.

One of my friends... He's only 15, and his mother died...

So sudden. Just collapsed...

Tough luck on the kid, that is a hard thing to swallow, however if I can put in a hopeful note, if she was good then she is now in heaven.

18 years ago I was on a St. John Ambulance duty, a man collapsed on the bowling green 200 yards away. They sent for us, as I examined him I felt his pulse quiver and stop so I started CPR, for 20 minutes I performed CPR, the ambulance got there eventually,but it was way too late, that night I cried myself to sleep, not usual at age 38. Sometimes at night I can still feel the bristles of his top lip and smell his tobaccoey breath, not pleasant memories.

**AlHoda** · 01-17-2010

Originally Posted by Donia

SubhanAllah.. I am sorry for everyone's losses and I hope that Allah will have mercy on them and us when we leave this earth. Ameen.

I have not actually ever seen somebody die. I can only remember being to four funerals in my whole life. One was when I was very young so I don't really remember much of it at all and the other 3 were in my adult life. During two of those are the only times I have ever seen a dead body in person.

This is not an easy thing to share because I feel it is very personal and I usually do not talk about personal things and given the circumstances, it was not a pleasant experience.

8 years ago, my husband's mother passed away. We were very young and she was in her forties I believe.
He had just talked to her the night before and she wasn't feeling the best. I believe she was going to try to lay down and get some rest.
The next day he tried to call her because he was on his way to a new job and I guess he just wanted to speak with her before he left. No answer. We didn't think anything of it.
We dropped him off and I don't really remember the details of what happened next..
Basically we found out (I think somebody called us) that early in the morning somebody had killed his mother and everyone that was in her house.
SubhanAllah..
I was upset and I was actually more upset for him. We had to go back and get him and tell him what happened and that image of his reaction is still in my head. I will probably never forget it. To say he was devastated is an understatement.
It made me realize that we never really do know what's going to happen and we need to try to do our best everyday insha'Allah because that was very unexpected.

Subhanallah, may Allah have mercy on your mother-in-law, i was shocked to read that she was killed. May Allah protect us all from such a death.

**AlHoda** · 01-17-2010

The only time when I saw a dead body, was when a boy who lived above us died. It was very shocking because he was only 13, I never will forget when I saw his body. He just died so suddenly without any warning, may Allah have mercy on his soul. When I first saw him, I though he was just unconsious, he never looked like a dead body, I never got to know him well but it was the first time I ever saw a dead body.

**Minniiee..Mee..** · 01-17-2010

A/Aleykum,,
i'm not sure if this is revelant or not but the only time ive seen a dead body is on T.V. to be honest i dont think id sleep for days if i did see one.

**~ Sabr ~** · 06-09-2012

i'm sorry for everyone's loss. may they go to Jannah, ameen

**Ramadan90** · 06-09-2012

No. Not yet. The thought of someone in my family will die one day is scary.

But I am not trying to think about it too much. I am enjoying my time with them now when they are alive.

**Pure Purple** · 06-09-2012

I have seen death of my granny when I was only 5 years old.She died on the day of walima of my maternal aunt.It was all messed up my aunt was youngest among her siblings ,she was very upset.I was very attached to my granny and still remember while going to hospital she looks towards me and smiled.After half an hour later she died.
At that time I didn't feel anything bad and I was staying at my hometown.When I shifted to my current city at the of 7 I don't why I started missing her much.I used to cry when I go to bed at night for sleep.I am missing her very much.May allah grant her highest level in jannah.

**Snowflake** · 06-09-2012

Talking about death, how many of us know how to wash and prepare the deceased for burial. This is fardh al kifaya (a communal obligation) meaning that if some muslims are able to do it then the rest won't be accountable. But if no one can do it then every muslim in thta community will be held accountable. Al hamdulillah this isn't a problem in most places. But wouldn't we prefer to prepare our own loved ones for burial?

Ask your local mosque if they hold Ghusl and Shrouding Workshops. Green Lane mosque in Birmingham do them in Urdu & English. Really beneficial, no dead bodies in sight, and you can volunteer to be the body if you want.

**~ Sabr ~** · 06-09-2012

Where I live, the masjid has a 24 hour service for this, so all good.

**Darth Ultor** · 06-09-2012

I never actually saw anyone die but I have lost important people in my life.

**MysticSoumeya** · 06-09-2012

Well, yes, I unfortunately witnessed the death of dear ones and that of perfect strangers who at the last seconds of life seemed so ever close to me or me to them. We are such fragile things clinging to this dunya. May Allah guide us in his chosen path.

**Snowflake** · 06-09-2012

Originally Posted by Haafizah

Where I live, the masjid has a 24 hour service for this, so all good.

Al hamdulillah, same here. But when I attended the workshop, I thought how loving and tender it would be to prepare a loved one with your own hands. The bathing, the perfuming and shrouding. Subhan Allah. Sad but such beautiful experiences and also a great source of forgiveness for the one doing it.