Love or Desire (A good article to read Insh'Allah)

Jazakallah sis.We benefited from this in a big way.Could agree with you when it comes to America and divorces.Man this country is full of divorces.thanks anyways.

An excellent article sister, Jazaakallah Khairun For Sharing.

Wasalaam U Alaikum

that's so true and scarry. They bombard you with that message. They try to brain wash you and decieve you. May Allah protect us all.

JazakAllah wonderful article sister keep it up.

Love or Desire
Where in the world, are the Muslim youth getting their ideals about love, marriage and family?

by Yasmin Mogahed, Al Jumuah Vol 13 Issue 8/9


In Bahrain, a teenage Muslim princess ran away from her family, her home and country forever, putting her life in jeopardy in order to marry an American marine she hardly knew. She made a decision, that she can never take back, to Iive a life of exile and sin. If asked why she did this, she would naturally say she did it for "love."

Where in the world, are the Muslim youth getting their ideals about love, marriage and family? Are we turninq to the Qur'an and the Sunnah of in Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? Unfortunately, we do not.

In the Indian subcontinent, we're turning to Indian films; In America and possibly the rest of the world, we're turning to Hollywood.

Bombay, a famous mainstream Indian film, features a Muslim girl who falls in love and ultimately marries Hindu boy. At the beginning of the film, she is shown in niqab. By the end, she is dressing like a Hindu. After her family refuses to allow their marriage, the girl runs away and does not speak to them for six years. At the end her parents come to her and all are happy.

Hollywood, one of the largest influences in the world, plays a huge role in the formation of concepts about love, marriage, and family. These films portray men and women who are "in love." And yet, often times the individual they "love" will be someone they just saw or spoke to briefly. Suddenly, however they are willing to lose their spouse, their family, their job, their life, and even their Lord. It is, therefore, more correct to say that they make these sacrifices because their desires have become their God. Allah speaks of these people when He says: "Then seest thou such a one as takes as his god his own vain desire? Allah has knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart (and understanding), and put a cover on his sight. Who, then, will guide him after Allah (has withdrawn guidance)? Will ye not then receive admonition?" [45:23]

But yet these very same people that Allah has described in His book as most astray have become our example and ideal. In 1998, Titanic, grossing more than 1 billion dollars in sales worldwide, became the most popular movie across the globe. The story features a young girl of age 17 who is engaged to be married. After meeting and ultimately falling in love with another man, the young girl cheats on her fiance and disobeys her mother. Both the mother and the fiance are shown as superficial in order to make her disloyalty more acceptable.

The messages of these films are very penetrating. The most powerful message is: if you sacrifice for "love", all will be well in the end. In other words, if you disregard your religion, your farmily, your God, following only your desires, you will be rewarded in the end.

If we look to America, we can see the clear effects of these misshapen concepts. 'Why has divorce reached the unprecedented rate of 40-60%? I believe the answer lies in the misconstrued definition of what true love and marriage actually is. These movies feature the wedding as the end of the movie, and thus marriage is seen as the end of a love story, rather than the beginning.

What effect does this have on our society, on our youth in particular? Who are the victims of these misconstrued ideals? What is the basis of the "love" portrayed in these movies? What criterion will young Muslims affected by these images use when choosing a spouse? Will they follow the Sunnah of the Prophet, sallallalhu alayhi wa sallam, who says the one who marries for deen is blessed? Or, will they base their choice on an empty, fleeting attraction disguised as "love"? If the youth begin to choose their spouses based on this ephemeral emotion rather than on deen, what effect will that have on the Ummah as a whole? Will not more families be broken due to divorce and strife? Will not more youth be forced to cut ties with their families (assuming they do not agree)? Will not more children be raised far from Islam?

Thus, we should be aware and guard ourselves and our children from this deceptive tool of Satan. Allah describes those people who only follow their desires numerous times throughout the Qur'an. Let us not be among those who Allah describes as most astray and let those not become our ideals. "Who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, devoid of guidance from Allah? For Allah guides not people given to wrongdoing" [28:50]

i know muslim girls n boys go astray n deviate from their path.one of my friend too wants to get married to a hindu girl.i would like to know whether the marriage wil last n wil the parents except or not.

format_quote Originally Posted by uzzi

i know muslim girls n boys go astray n deviate from their path.one of my friend too wants to get married to a hindu girl.i would like to know whether the marriage wil last n wil the parents except or not.

The brother can not get married to a hindu. he can either get married to a muslim, christian or jew and no other faith. Even though it would be alot better if he got married to a muslim woman because there are lots of muslim women who dont have husbands, so its important that they have partners and someone can take care of them.

But this is what the scholars say about marrying christian, jewish women.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


Originally, it is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a woman from among the People of the Book. Referring to this, Allah Almighty says, (This day (all) the good things are allowed to you; and the food of those who have been given the Book is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them; and the chaste from among the believing women and the chaste from among those who have been given the Book before you (are lawful for you); when you have given them their dowries, taking (them) in marriage, not fornicating nor taking them for paramours in secret; and whoever denies faith, his work indeed is of no account, and in the hereafter he shall be one of the losers.) (Al-Ma'idah 5: 5)



With the above in mind, we should affirm that it is better for a Muslim to marry a Muslim woman. In case a Muslim wants to marry a non-Muslim woman from among the People of the Book, then he should be keen to remind her of belief in One God.



Answering the question in point, Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi,President of the Fiqh Council of North America, states the following:


It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Kitabi (Jewish or Christian) woman (see surat al-Ma'idah 5:5), but it is certainly better for a Muslim to marry a Muslim woman. According to some jurists, the permission to marry a Kitabi woman is only for those people who are living in a Muslim State. Those who are living in non-Muslim societies, it is better for them to have Muslim wives. In this way it will be easy for them to keep their home fully Islamic and it will be easier for them to raise their children in an Islamic manner.

Christians and Jews both claim that they believe in one God. Jews in their prayers declare "Shema'" which means, "Hear O Israel, the Lord your God is one God." Similarly Christians also say in their creed, "We believe in One God" but then they confuse their belief in the unity of God with the Trinity. Islam emphasized pure tawhid and took away all the confusions that were created in the concept of monotheism by many Jews and Christians. It is good that a Muslim be keen to remind both Jews and Christians to believe and affirm their faith in One God, especially if one is marrying a person and they both want to be life partners for each others.

You can also read:

Marriage to a Christian Woman: Unrestrictedly Permitted?

Marrying a Non-Muslim Male

Allah Almighty knows best.

source:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...EAskTheScholar

mashallah, it's a good advice
ws

Jazaakum Allahu khairan to all.

Passionate love, by definition, is an intense desire that has sexual arousal at its base. Passionate love, after the fulfillment of the sexual desire it was based on, wares off. Therefore passionate love is not enough to attain the security and comfort we as human beings seek in our relationships.

We need passionate love, intimacy, and a sense of commitment to make our relationships work, and actually last.

This is why in our marriages we need to strive to ensure that our relationship fulfills our needs on all levels: psychologically, emotionally, physically, etc. Before all of this of course is the intention we keep behind our marriages--worship to Allah, and striving to maintain a righteous household that is the first step in building a healthy society. Our marital relationships should be based on mutual trust, respect, compassion, empathy and communication.

The images we see in the media are hardly reflective of what it takes to actually keep a relationship going, or how to get one started in the first place.

Great post Taebah sis. JazakAllah for bringing up this very important issue.

Education begins from a mothers lap. It is a little too late when parents who've sat and watched such films with their children, then throw a barney when their kids go off the rails.

Parents fail to explain do's and don'ts to their children and these are the results. It all boils down to the lack of islamic education and environment at home.

Too many parents say, you can't do this and you can't do that, without ever bothering to explain the repercussions of forbidden acts. Exposure to films/songs that glorify this kind of love will only corrupt young minds. And some old ones too.

Islamic education from an early age, is the only way forward. As they say prevention is better than cure.