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In a Dilemma..

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    Dimension's Avatar Limited Member
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    In a Dilemma..

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    Assalam Alaykum!

    Haven't posted in this site for a very long time! Just a little background info before I start..

    I am 17 nearly 18 and I am a Sikh(?). 2 years ago I met this one Muslim sister who I came very close with and one day we talked about religion, I then researched further and told her that I would like to become a Muslim. Since then she has helped me by answering any queries I have. She is the same age as me and her Mother also aware of my situtaion.

    Although I am aware that as I have not reverted my Namaz will not be counted. I read namaz regularly for practise and in the belief that Allah (SWT) may hear my prayers. Last year I kept ONE whole fast which was tiring to say the least!!!! I also practise wudhu, ghusl and try to say the correct Dua's where appropriate.

    I do want to revert but I know 110% that my family will not agree, I love my family too much to put them through the pain of 'losing' their only son. But as one revert told me, love you parents but also love your parents' creator..
    I have no idea what to do, I dont want to revert secretly as I know for a fact I will commit sins due to the household I am in. I do not want to treat Allah (SWT) compassion as something so easy. (If that makes sense ). However I do not want to revert publicly due to the shame I will bring my family.

    But the bottom line is, I want to revert!

    Could anyone help me, please?

    Jazak'Allah.
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    Muslim Woman's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: In a Dilemma..




    we don't know when we will die. As u are sure that Islam is the Truth , don't delay a second to utter the Shahada.

    There is no deity except Allah and Muhammad peace be upon him is a slave and messenger of Allah.


    U don't have to do it publicly or in front of any Muslims . Do it NOW.


    U can give ur family members a copy of Quran and othe books on Islam . May be , some videos / debates of Deedat , Zakir and others . After watching , hopefully they will get a fav. view of Islam .
    Last edited by Muslim Woman; 07-23-2012 at 01:36 PM.
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    In a Dilemma..

    Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172

    recitation:http://quran.jalisi.com
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    Dimension's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    I understand where you are coming from and I agree that there is no deity except Allah (SWT) and Muhammad (PBUH) is a slave and messenger of Allah (SWT). But I dont want to be in the situation where I am sinning as I have no other choice/ sinning intentionally.
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    Muslim Woman's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: In a Dilemma..




    format_quote Originally Posted by Dimension View Post
    But I dont want to be in the situation where I am sinning as I have no other choice/ sinning intentionally.

    Your first responsiblity is towards our Creator . so fulfill it .



    if u don't tell ur family or can't follow all Islamic rules , InshaAllah u will find Allah merciful .


    U don't have to be a perfect Muslim from the first day . If willingly / unwillingly u make any mistake , break any Islamic rule ,remember Allah is most Kind , ever merciful.

    But if u die without repenting of not worshipping one God , Allah won't forgive it. And Allah Knows Best.
    Last edited by Muslim Woman; 07-23-2012 at 02:11 PM.
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    In a Dilemma..

    Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172

    recitation:http://quran.jalisi.com
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    But how can I live all my life like that??
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    Wa Alaykum Assalaam,

    I appreciate the difficulty you are in, but regarding the question of whether to convert, then as the sister above said, there is no question that you should convert if you sincerely believe Islam is the truth. It is better to be a Muslim who commits sins while hating it in his heart, than to remain a disbeliever and not have any good deeds accepted. It is better to be in that position where you can hope for Paradise and forgiveness from Allaah, and pray for the guidance of your family, than to be threatened with eternity in Hellfire.

    You are virtually there, you just need to take that final step. And it can be done secretly. Place your trust in Allaah (swt) and He will make it easy for you and help you.

    I know a brother who reverted some time ago and he came from a Sikh family. I think he also had a number of difficulties with his family. If you wish, I can try and put you in contact with him.

    May Allaah (swt) guide you and help you in your difficulty, Aameen.
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    In a Dilemma..



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    Muslim Woman's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: In a Dilemma..




    keep praying to Allah . He will make it easy for u . If ur family abandon u , u will have Allah with u .
    In a Dilemma..

    Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172

    recitation:http://quran.jalisi.com
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    Muslim Woman's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: In a Dilemma..





    format_quote Originally Posted by Muhammad View Post
    ... It is better to be a Muslim who commits sins while hating it in his heart, than to remain a disbeliever and not have any good deeds accepted. .


    it reminds me of a line that I saw in Ummah forum . The worst Muslim is better than the best disbeliever of this world.

    And Allah Knows Best.
    In a Dilemma..

    Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172

    recitation:http://quran.jalisi.com
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    I will keep praying, please keep me in your Dua's so that one day Insh'Allah everything becomes so much clearer for me.
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    Re: In a Dilemma..





    may be u will find convert stories of ex Sikhs useful .


    Why I Left Sikhism to Revert to Islam



    http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...evert-to-Islam
    In a Dilemma..

    Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172

    recitation:http://quran.jalisi.com
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    Muslim Woman's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: In a Dilemma..





    A Sikh Girl Converts to Islam

    In a Dilemma..

    Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172

    recitation:http://quran.jalisi.com
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    Salaam bro Dimension.

    I was told by a Sikh neighbour that in your holy book, the name of God is also Allah You're already half way there bro... chin up, yes?

    With regard to reverting while living in a Sikh household, the reality is that difficult times will be ahead... but only temporarily. In my experience from reading the posts of board members who have been thru similar situations to yours - I find that once the family see that the change is for the better, they not only become tolerant, but also accepting of you - and your new found way of life - as they see you grow into the man they always wanted you to be (and this makes it all that much easier)... the only difference is that you are now a Muslim.

    There are threads in the new Muslims section that may provide some valuable insight into how to get around the difficulties you may face... I want to write more but I must be somewhere now, but insha-Allah, I will elaborate for you a little later...

    ... Oh, finally, welcome to Islamic Board, where it's al Islamic, but never boring (love that line)

    Scimi
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    Dimension's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    Yeah in the Guru Granth Sahib Ji there is not just one exact word for God as Sikhs believe that one word cannot describe the countless attributes of God.

    When I read stories on how families have come to terms with thier child converting it all seems to be make belief to me. I feel so close but yet so far from converting. I dont think I have the inital courage to put my parents and my family through all the pain(?).
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    In your heart you're already a muslim but afraid of announcing it, so I will call you my brother.

    Think of it this way brother... when we are traveling with our family, customs check the suit case we are carrying on our person and make sure there are no drugs or illegal stuffs that violate the laws. So imagine if a family member is found to have broken the law? We wouldn't take their place and go to jail for them. We want to reach our destination. Each person is responsible for himself. It's the same thing in life bro. We will be accountable for only our own actions. We can't swap places with those we love if they break the law. When we'll be gathered before The Almighty, even our mothers will put the blame on us to save their own backs from the Hell-Fire. We have to remind ourselves of that time, and remember we all have our own goals and paths in life. Don't wander off your Path to accompany someone you love when you know their path leads to nothing but destruction. Instead be strong and keep your feet firmly on the right Path and then put all your efforts into guiding your loved one on it too. Don't despair brother. Abdul Raheem Green's father took ten years of invitation from his son before taking shahadah on his death bed. Be patient and do your bit. If Allah wills, He will guide your loved one to Islam too.
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    format_quote Originally Posted by Snowflake View Post
    In your heart you're already a muslim but afraid of announcing it, so I will call you my brother.

    Think of it this way brother... when we are traveling with our family, customs check the suit case we are carrying on our person and make sure there are no drugs or illegal stuffs that violate the laws. So imagine if a family member is found to have broken the law? We wouldn't take their place and go to jail for them. We want to reach our destination. Each person is responsible for himself. It's the same thing in life bro. We will be accountable for only our own actions. We can't swap places with those we love if they break the law. When we'll be gathered before The Almighty, even our mothers will put the blame on us to save their own backs from the Hell-Fire. We have to remind ourselves of that time, and remember we all have our own goals and paths in life. Don't wander off your Path to accompany someone you love when you know their path leads to nothing but destruction. Instead be strong and keep your feet firmly on the right Path and then put all your efforts into guiding your loved one on it too. Don't despair brother. Abdul Raheem Green's father took ten years of invitation from his son before taking shahadah on his death bed. Be patient and do your bit. If Allah wills, He will guide your loved one to Islam too.
    I find that quote very difficult to agree with. I feel as if, if my bond with my parents wasnt so strong there would be nothing stopping me of reverting. However the bond is too strong for me to simply 'destroy'. Hence I do not what to do.

    Even though I am confused, and do not know what religion I actually attached too. I will try keep a fast tomorrow, Insh'Allah everything goes well so wish me luck!!
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    I find that quote very difficult to agree with.
    The problem is that you are only looking at that quote in one dimension i.e. 'a mother would do anything for her child' and based on what you have seen in this world.

    However, the time here is like a drop in an ocean compared to the hereafter. This life is a test. The real 'truth' doesn't begin until the day of judgement and the punishment of hell is enourmous (as is conversely the goodness of paradies). It is so extreme that even a mother would turn her back on her son. It would be an every man for himself situation.
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    format_quote Originally Posted by Dimension View Post
    I find that quote very difficult to agree with. I feel as if, if my bond with my parents wasnt so strong there would be nothing stopping me of reverting. However the bond is too strong for me to simply 'destroy'. Hence I do not what to do.

    Even though I am confused, and do not know what religion I actually attached too. I will try keep a fast tomorrow, Insh'Allah everything goes well so wish me luck!!
    Islam teaches muslims to be kind to their parents even if they are non muslim. We are not expected to sever bonds with them brother, but only disobey them in what they say against Allah. We are all like leaves on a tree that share the same branch with our families but ultimately we are individuals who have their own fate and destiny and account. I can see this is too much for you to take in right now. So my advice is to pray sincerely to Allah to show you the Truth and give you the strength to follow it. Dil naal dua karo te baki Allah te chaddo. And make dua for your parents too. Allah is the Turner of hearts and He can turn the heart of anyone if He wishes.
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    format_quote Originally Posted by Dimension View Post
    I feel as if, if my bond with my parents wasnt so strong there would be nothing stopping me of reverting. However the bond is too strong for me to simply 'destroy'
    Peace brother!

    When you think of your bond to be so strong, why do you think it'll be destroyed by your becoming a muslim? your becoming a muslim does not mean that you are going to abandon them, are you? See now that you have realized as to what is the truth do you not want save yourself and you family from the torment of Hell fire? or is it that you are afraid of what people are going to say?

    Allah knows your difficulties more than I do. So I can only pray that Allah makes it easier for you.

    wasalaam!
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    Can you be honest and tell me why you want to revert? Because if it for the love of a girl - you will fear your parents... but if it is for the love of Allah - you're parents will take that back seat in your mind and heart.

    Scimi
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    Re: In a Dilemma..

    Assalamu-alaikum,


    format_quote Originally Posted by Dimension View Post
    I find that quote very difficult to agree with. I feel as if, if my bond with my parents wasnt so strong there would be nothing stopping me of reverting. However the bond is too strong for me to simply 'destroy'.

    Please reflect on the following insha Allah.

    "The Day ye shall see it,
    every mother giving suck shall forget her suckling-babe,
    and every pregnant female shall drop her load (unformed):
    thou shalt see mankind as in a drunken riot, yet not drunk:
    but dreadful will be the Wrath of Allah." (Al-Quraan 22:2)


    Truly brother, we will oneday, be accountable for our deeds.
    A day so terrifying that every person will be fleeing AWAY from their loved ones - each man for himself.
    Today, we may find this hard to imagine.
    But trust in that which has been promised by Allah.


    Secondly, Islam recognises the rights of parents more than any other religion.
    MashaAllah, you are already fulfilling this duty.

    However, Allah says in the Quraan:

    "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents:
    To me is (thy final) Goal.
    But if they strive to make thee Join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not;
    Yet bear them company in this llfe with Justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me:
    In the end the return of you all is to Me. "
    (Al Quraan 31:14-15)


    And, our beloved prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasalam) has said:

    “There is no obedience to any human being if it involves disobedience of Allah.”
    Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 7257; Muslim, 1840.

    Are we prepared to forsake the commands of our Creator, Allah (subhanawataála), for the sake of obedience to His creation?

    The One to whom we owe our very existence,
    Sustains us, despite our disobedience,
    And will continue to shower His mercy upon us.......as long as we SUBMIT TO HIM alone, associating no partners.

    How do we deny the Lord of all creation after all He has blessed us with?

    Think about this dear akhee.


    May Allah (subhanawataála) fill your heart with peace, guide you onto the path of the righteous, and be the means of conveying His message to your family as well.
    Ameen.





    Last edited by ~Zaria~; 07-24-2012 at 12:46 PM.
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