Do you think finding the right marriage partner online is possible?

[salma888]

AoA everyone,

I was searching on the Internet recently and surprisingly found a lot of stuff on Muslim matrimonial. Many sites have been made exclusively for Muslims where you can go, make a profile of your own and then receive a lot of emails and messages from potential partners. But is it really successful?

You may want to tell us your experiences if you have been a part of these sites. For those who want to know the secrets to successful online meeting and ending up being married to the right Muslim, there's a very useful ebook on this topic, The Right Muslim.

Let's hear your stories!

Salma

P.S. The URL to downloading the ebook is http://www.rightmuslim.com/

[Kittygyal]

Nope i disagree.

[noorseeker]

salam sister, there is a site called THEPMMS.com , its for practising muslims only and it is strictly monitored.

[3isha]

Nope i disagree.

yup, so do i,

[Kittygyal]

Wait let's get this right.

Lord above i have to type alot naw!! so bare with me plz

Right firstly i disagree coz im sure in Islam 'love marriage' aint allowed im i correct?

Erm secondly you never know who's behind the screen it can be anyone giving fake details and chattin aload of bull!! get mi??

thirdly it's forbidden in islam to chat to opposite genders right??

so erm it doesn't matter if it's monitored strickly or not, point being it sick going on marriage sites and find a spouse just waste of time. I HAVEN'T EXPERIENCED IT THO SO DON'T TAKE ME THE WRONG WAY!!

[islamirama]

naseeb.com has helped many get married and find their spouses.

There is nothing wrong in seeking a spouse via online. But it is important to take precaution, visit reliable sites only and also have a wali involved.

[AmarFaisal]

it isn't abt dating ...online matrimonials are to seen by parents, wouldn't that help so much for so many unmarried girls. And which parents wouldn't take precautions. Anyways, bad decisions r sometimes taken even when u know ppl since yrs, so why not try this out. But ofcourse, every1 knows how to take precautions.

[noorseeker]

Where i said strictly monitored meaning you do not talk to each other on the phone or anything, u dont get peoples emails or any thing like that and you need a wali involved , I agree with you most marriage sites can lead to a lot of fitnah you can easily get peoples numbers and then have useless conversations. I dont bother contacting any one , coz them practising girls seem un -attainable , seem really pious and that and i am practising but with very limited knowledge, and i dnt wanna marry a non practising muslim girl so i guess im stuck. Any way I need to ask , where exactly are all these practising sisters , i cant name one , i ask everyone and no one can answer me.

Its just that you hear and see many brothers , who suddenly make a change and become religious after leading a life of vice. The thing is a lot of girls wear hijab, allahamdulillah, but it doesnt mean their practising , where as if you see a guy with a topi on im 90% sure he is practising

[tryinghard]

I honestly didn't think it would be possible, but a friend of mine recently got married after finding her husband through one of these sites. The reason I was skeptical was because it seemed difficult that two people who don't know each other and may live far away and are interacting only via the internet could possibly decide if they are suitable for marriage. But, it is an Islamically approved way of meeting other people and as I'm sure these sites are properly monitored, one can find someone who is perfectly suited for them.

[salma888]

AoA, thank you all for you replies Definitely everything has its positive as well as negative points and we have to stay within limits while doing something like this. But love marriage is not prohibited in Islam, it's only how to interpret the term 'love marriage'. Of course both the woman and the man have to see each other in presence of other people or a picture, discuss something generally just to hear each other's opinions and then decide whether they would make a good couple or not.

I personally don't like chatting or talking on the phone, but on these sites what you do is create a profile by entering your interests and what kind of a partner you are looking for. The rest is handled by the site management. If you don't want to chat, it's up to you. In fact it's a good practice not to reveal personal information including telephone number on these sites.

People have been successful in finding their soul mates online. Especially women above the age of 26, 27 who have not succeeded in finding a partner offline (because of societal issues or anything else) have a great chance on these sites. And everyone has a right to propose, don't they?

[ahsan28]

Nope i disagree.

Include me also

[Salaam]

no way.....

[AnonymousPoster]

It is possible. Not only those matrimonial sites but it seems MSN is becoming a tool too, the Net itself... A brother, friends with my male-cousin was watching when I was chatting to my cousin on MSN. He got immediately interested, then also saw me live by mistake, sent some relatives over to my place to discuss with me, but unfortunately I didn't feel comfortable or ready so I refused.

Later on I got told this is becoming quite natural where I am from.

Nothing these days seems impossible - Feels like almost everywhere there's a little bit of a possibility.


I most definitely agree with salma888 and tryinghard.

[salma888]

I think posting a picture for females is not appropriate since a lot of men will be looking at them with an intention to accept or reject. So it's morally not very appealing even if the woman is in hijab. But having posted to these sites is certainly beneficial and I hope other girls will also see its positive points

[IbnAbdulHakim]

sis its all money making schemes..

[ahsan28]

1. Two Russian Students Get Prison Terms for Internet Marriage Fraud.
2. Arrests in Yoshkar-Ola of those who posted introduction profiles on different sites, portraying themselves as women who wanted to get married to foreigners.
3. A San Bernardino County man was sentenced to five years in federal prison yesterday for cheating men out of more than $1 million in a Russian bride scam.
4. Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered the arrest of two alleged marriage agency fraudsters after a Sydney man wrote to him, saying he had been conned by a young Russian brunette offering marriage over the internet.



http://agencyscams.com/Arrests.html



Marriage Fraud

Marriage by mail is a risky business. These schemes are typically designed as marriage, relationship, or friendship announcements but may have other shapes and forms, too. Encounters are generally made through e-mail, Internet chat rooms, matrimonial websites, etc.

http://belarus.usembassy.gov/romance_cheat.html

[Huma*]

Assalamalykum,
These Matrimonial sites are very useful for those who can't spare their time separately for this matter. well if u talk about fake and cheating you may even face it in reality, aren't you? to whom you are gonna blame then?.
These sites are like, use it if you need it, and if you found your match and unfortunately if things goes wrong don't blame on it. After all matches are made in Heaven.

JazakAllah khaer

[Lady_Nadine]

I don't think any of these sites help. I for one have never tried it, but my brothers have. I honestly think it is a waste of time and money. I think a respectful muslim guy or girl should see face to face. And not what is behind your screen. My mother have told me many times, it is usually done between the parents. But I don't think it is wrong for a man and woman to get to know each other outside the parents supervision either. Just as long it is monitar enough where nothing really happens.

I haven't even been complete a lone with a guy, (even if he is a friend of mine) I am usually with a group of people or in a public place. That way I feel safe enough where I feel comfortable and where I know he won't do anything in front of everyone. But I normal have this conversation before hand. That we are strickly friends and nothing more!

sorry for ramdaming.

[Abdul Fattah]

Selam aleykum
To be honest, I have absolutely no good idea of whether or not this is possible and/or acceptable or not.

Some commments on what has been said though

Right firstly i disagree coz im sure in Islam 'love marriage' aint allowed im i correct?

1. I'm not sure what you mean by love marriage and why you think it's forbidden.
2. I don't know what the difference between finding a partner on-line and of-line is in terms of "love". I mean, would you love someone you find on-line more than someone you find trough people who know some people?

Erm secondly you never know who's behind the screen it can be anyone giving fake details and chattin aload of bull!! get mi??

I think the idea is to just know the person exists trough this site, and then proceeding as normal. By the way, if you're talking face to face the person can still give a lot of lies. In the end you never know

thirdly it's forbidden in islam to chat to opposite genders right??

Who says you have to chat? What about mails, are those allowed? I would think people sent letters in the old days to find out wheter or not the person was eligable?

[salma888]

yes i think writing letters is allowed and even it's allowed in islam for a girl to send a proposal for a guy. fraudulent business is everywhere, not just in this matter and i agree that even face to face you may think you know a person very well but everything changes once you get married. the masks are unveiled and we see the real person only after marriage even if the person happens to be our relative (cousin).

i personally am in favor of monitored matrimonial sites where responsible people are trying their very best to help women and men who have been unlucky in finding their partner offline. you may even want to post a few particulars of yourself or your friend (or sister/brother) to see how many people actually respond.