Can ppl please post hadiths where it shows men and women talking to eachother such as greeting eachother. Ones such as ...
"When 'AbdurRashid al-Sa'adi got married, he invited the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions. His wife, Umm Asyad, prepared the food alone and served it herself. She soaked some dates in a stone bowl overnight, When the Prophet finished eating, she offered him the water, after stirring it well, as a present." (At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud)
this shows that women some times used to serve food to the men n that was ok providing they were fully covered.
The reason being is because I want to know how far u can go in terms of not mixing but just being nice n greeting etc.
Its just that some hadiths show men and women greeting eachother or serving eachother etc n Im just curious. Not that I think mixing is halal by the way.
To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa’ radi allahu anha the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq radi allahu anhu and sister of Aisha radi allahu anha relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughter Asmaa’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam radi allahu anhu who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa’ relates:
“When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…”, so Asmaa’ had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I used to carry on my head,” she continues, “the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam, along with a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a man having the most Gheerah . The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah.” So Asmaa’ declined the offer made by the Prophet sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam. Upon this az-Zubair said: “By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him.” (related in Sahih Bukhari)
Asma' bint `Umays radhiAllaahu anha, the wife of Ja`far ibn Abi Talib radhiAllaahu anhu, hastened to embrace Islam along with her husband in the earliest days of Islam, the days of hardship and suffering. She migrated with him to Abyssinia, in spite of the risks and hardships involved, for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala) and to support His religion. When `Umar ibn al-Khattab radhiAllaahu anhu joked with her and said, "O Habashiyyah (Abyssinian woman)!
We beat you to Madinah," she said, "You have most certainly spoken the truth. You were with the Messenger of Allah, feeding the hungry and teaching the ignorant, whilst we were far away in exile. By Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala), I shall go to the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi waSalam and tell him that." She came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, some men are criticizing us and claiming that we were not among the early muhajirin." The Messenger of Allah (sal Allaahu alayhi waSalam) said, "But you have two hijrahs; you migrated to the land of Abyssinia, whilst we were detained in Makkah, then you migrated to me afterwards."[100]
Asma' bint `Umays was successful in establishing the virtue of those who had migrated to Abyssinia in the early days of Islam, and she understood from the Prophet (sal Allaahu alayhi waSalam) that this distinguished group would have the reward of two hijrahs. This was a great honour which was theirs because they had not hesitated to support the Prophet (sal Allaahu alayhi waSalam), even though it meant leaving behind their families and homeland for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala).
Regarding the part when it mentioned 'joking' - Allaah azawajal knows best - but maybe the translation isn't accurate? Allaahu ta'aala a'lam (Allaah Almighty knows best.)
I have heard a ruling regarding the reasons a male Muslims is allowed to speak to a Muslim female and want to know if it is correct. It said that there are only five reasons one may talk to her:
1. to ask how her family
2. for medical purposes
3. for financial purposes (e.g. in a shop)
4. to find out about her personality for marriage suitability
5. to give her dawah (Islamic knowledge).
Is this correct? If it is, please provide the evidence from where the ruling is made (i.e. Daleel).
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The conditions for speaking to a woman to whom one is not related are mentioned in the following aayaat (interpretation of the meaning):
". . . And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts . . ." [al-Ahzaab 33:53]
". . . then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner." [al-Ahzaab 33:32]
Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his Tafseer: "This means that they should not speak softly. Allaah commanded them to speak in a concise and decisive manner (i.e., they should be serious and brief in their speech, and not be vague or talk aimlessly). There should be no possible indication on the face that could be taken to indicate any softness in the heart, as the Arab women (before Islaam) used to do when speaking to men, by making their voices soft like women who are taking care of small children, or like prostitutes. Allaah forbade women to do that.
The phrase "lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire" means lest such a person should hope for immoral deeds, indecency or romance. "Speaking in an honourable manner" means speaking in a way that does not go against Sharee’ah or offend people. Women are encouraged when speaking to men to whom they are not related and to mahrams among their in-laws to be somewhat rough or abrupt in their speech, without raising the voice, because they are commanded to lower their voice.
Speaking with a woman to whom one is not related (i.e., not mahram) should only be for a specific need, such as asking a question, buying or selling, asking about the head of the household, and so on. Such conversations should be brief, with nothing doubtful in either what is said or how it is said.
The idea of limiting speech with women to the five instances mentioned in the question needs to be approached with caution, because they could be taken as examples instead of limits. One must also adhere to the conditions set out by the Sharee’ah even in instances where such conversations are necessary, such as in da’wah, giving fatwas, buying or selling, etc. And Allaah knows best.
Volume 003, Book 031, Hadith Number 189.Sahih Bukhari
------------------------------------------------------
Narated By Abu Juhaifa : The Prophet made a bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abu Ad-Darda.' Salman paid a visit to Abu Ad-Darda' and found Um Ad-Darda' dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, "Your brother Abu Ad-Darda' is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world." In the meantime Abu Ad-Darda' came and prepared a meal for Salman. Salman requested Abu Ad-Darda' to eat (with him), but Abu Ad-Darda' said, "I am fasting." Salman said, "I am not going to eat unless you eat." So, Abu Ad-Darda' ate(with Salman). When it was night and (a part of the night passed), Abu Ad-Darda' got up (to offer the night prayer), but Salman told him to sleep and Abu Ad-Darda' slept. After sometime Abu Ad-Darda' again got up but Salman told him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salman told him to get up then, and both of them offered the prayer. Salman told Abu Ad-Darda', "Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you." Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet said, "Salman has spoken the truth."
Anwar Awlaki mentioned that there are two extremes today regarding these issues. One extreme is the group that is completely for free-mixing and exchanging phone numbers etc. The second extreme is the group that says it is completely haram to talk to someone of the opposite gender.
The middle path is highlighted by the ahadith above. The Sahabah and the Sahabiyah used to talk to each other, yet they knew the limits. Talk used to be formal and straight to the point. No joking, laughing, free-talk etc.
Allahu Alam.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
Alsalamu Alaikum. I was told that associating with men is haram. I told a friend of this but she wants Ayats from the Quran and Hadiths and the ones mentioned above may not be enough to convince her. If there is any more that can be added then it would be most appreciated
it is haram sis, however u can converse with them when neccasary.
there already are loads of threads on free mixing, just type it into ur search box as this thread isnt really for u as we are posting hadith up which SHOW men and women conversing.
Kool thread, just wanted to point out bro Fi Sabilillah
". . . then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner." [al-Ahzaab 33:32]
Don't take the verse out of context...
O ye wives of the Prophet! Ye are not like any other women. If ye keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft of speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease aspire (to you), but utter customary speech. [al-Ahzaab 33:32]
are you implying that womens can talk softly with strange men ??
i don't think you do.
because it is indeed a command for the prophet's Wifes and for every rightous Muslima to not make their voices soft while speeking with non Ma7ram men. otherwise it will surley leads to Fitna.
and the wifes of the prophet (peace be upon him) are supposed to be the Good example for all muslim women.
People, stop jumping down my throat. I merely said to quote all of the verse, I didn't say whether it was applicable to all women or not. Seeing as I'm not an Aalimah or qualified enough to do that.
sorry sister i just wanted things to be clear for all brothers and sisters who see this thread,
besides, what brother Fi Sabilillah Quoted is already a Fatwa by shiekh Muhammad Saleh Almunajjid and he is clearly a scholar who knows what he is doing when he only quoted a part of the Aya from the Quran.
so the shiekh knows that this is not a wrong acting and that it is okay to mention a part of the verse if it applies to the situation.
sorry sister i just wanted things to be clear for all brothers and sisters who see this thread,
Thats ok.
besides, what brother Fi Sabilillah Quoted is already a Fatwa by shiekh Muhammad Saleh Almunajjid and he is clearly a scholar who knows what he is doing when he only quoted a part of the Aya from the Quran.
I'm sure he is.
so the shiekh knows that this is not a wrong acting and that it is okay to mention a part of the verse if it applies to the situation.
Okay, I was merely saying not to quote part of the verse but the whole thing. Thats it.
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