Am i wrong or right?

[Hamza Asadullah]

Broter i dont have any insecurities but when i was tenager i had this problem and my family tried to took me to the imams but nothing changed still happening even now , I will make duaa for you INSHALLAH

Sister as ive mentioned in my last post you may have had an experience when you were younger that has made you insecure about so many things especially when it comes to the people closest to you. The only way to tackle this problem would be to consult with a counsellor who will be able to try and establish what event or experience in your youth caused you to be like this.

These things don't just go away unless you actively do something about them. What if you react like this again towards a loved one then they will hesitate ever sharing anything with you incase you go off on one.

and Allah knows best

 

[cat eyes]

ya ur husband will b telling the truth id say My friend worked in a factory during her uni yearz and there is a hell loads of eastern european grls and asian people mixed working together. She said they would b flirting with eachother and sometimes people caught having sex in tiolets..id tell ur husbnd to find another job but its not that easy and u will find that no matter what job he finds, there will always be temtation everywhere. That is just something that u will have to accept thats where the trust comes in if you have ths problem all the time how much more could one take??. Every single person has there limits and people can only take so much. Maybe after a while if ths cöntinues ur husbnd wil feel tired and drained out that he wont give a dam about the marriage coz in his mind he will think ''aah im sick of this im not going 2 bother reasure her anymore b coz it dont work and she dont trust me anyway''. Its upto you to change. Nobody else can do it for you. I agree with brother hamza's post. It is a insecurity issue that u have and that u badly need help or it will take over ur life. U have already said you hav pushed friends away maybe who next...it could be your husband.

 

[nilufer]

ya ur husband will b telling the truth id say My friend worked in a factory during her uni yearz and there is a hell loads of eastern european grls and asian people mixed working together. She said they would b flirting with eachother and sometimes people caught having sex in tiolets..id tell ur husbnd to find another job but its not that easy and u will find that no matter what job he finds, there will always be temtation everywhere. That is just something that u will have to accept thats where the trust comes in if you have ths problem all the time how much more could one take??. Every single person has there limits and people can only take so much. Maybe after a while if ths cöntinues ur husbnd wil feel tired and drained out that he wont give a dam about the marriage coz in his mind he will think ''aah im sick of this im not going 2 bother reasure her anymore b coz it dont work and she dont trust me anyway''. Its upto you to change. Nobody else can do it for you. I agree with brother hamza's post. It is a insecurity issue that u have and that u badly need help or it will take over ur life. U have already said you hav pushed friends away maybe who next...it could be your husband.

I will tell you something my husband has no feelings to any women even if they invite him because i know that and i have my reason for that and sorry i cannot share it here bring millions pretty women and easy women in front of my husband believe me he will not bother and i know why i cannot say it
Iam 100% sure about him plus hes very full and hes age doesnt allowed to him to do anything stupid and iam more younger than him and hes crazy jalous of me everywhere and every minutes

Your friends lied to you because in european country you cannot do sex at work because the directors are after making money from their production and not a place for making sex thats completly wrong

Second my husband is a muslim and hes fear from ALLAH so he cannot touch any christian girls at work sorry to disappointed you about that
My husband work as a dog his clothes smells and dirty from hard work and when i look at his pay slips every hour written there without any absence sister iam not that stupid this is my second marriage and i know so many things about the world husband or men

An other thing my husband as his habits if he feel junub he des not sit eat or let me eat until we take a shower because he always said it is haram to be junub and to eat without shower but when he come back from work he eat straight away and sleep without any shower and thats enough for me

I notice something from all your posts in this forum you always give people negative answers especially against the men do you hate sister the men? , are you married ? did you face in the past any problems with men ?
Sorry to ask but i noticed that

Thank you anyway , My husband does not have any dirty mind ad he does not like make love in the toilets hes educate man and from a clean family even if the place is not clean they cannot even seat

 

[nilufer]

Asslamou alaikoum,

My husband is working hard but his income is not enough for our living and i want to find a job to help him even hes against that i work because he is jalous for me that people will flirt with me but because we need extra money i want to work and i will INSHALLAH convince him but my question is it is halal or haram in the islam if the woman work ? if yes what is the halal job that she can do and what is the haram job that she should avoid? PS we are living in european country

To be honest i recived a job from an advertising company want to hire me for editorial pictures for their collection their clothes are respect and cover all the body but i dont know if it is haram or halal to do this job ?

Please your advice and opinion are important to me thanks in advance jazakoum ALLAH kher

 

[cat eyes]

sister your the one thinking negative about your husband not me.lol how can i make judgments on somebody that i dont know?. i would never do that.. i am trying to help but if you don't want it or don't want to listen to the truth then fair enough. i think you believe that your perfect and you know everything just because you were married before but i am sorry that dose not make you a knower of everything. but can i ask did you have another account on IB? Cos you sound familiar? all the best

 

[nilufer]

sister your the one thinking negative about your husband not me.lol how can i make judgments on somebody that i dont know?. i would never do that.. i am trying to help but if you don't want it or don't want to listen to the truth then fair enough. i think you believe that your perfect and you know everything just because you were married before but i am sorry that dose not make you a knower of everything. but can i ask did you have another account on IB? Cos you sound familiar? all the best

Wonderful i like it even now in your post you are panicking so as you dont know me nor my husband so dont make any silly judgment as you mentioned and asking me to believe it , Believe me im just new to this forum but i like to read peoples background in this forum and i saw all your posts negative about the men like you hate any men sister dont get up set i wanna help you thats all ,when i made negative thoughts about my husband i was out of my mind but when i wake up i become positive and me and my husband we love each other and we are faithfull to each other ALHMADOLLIALLAH and hope ALLAH SWT forgive me to had a bad thoughts about my wonderful husband

 

[cat eyes]

ohh okay then it seems like shaytan is having a good old time with you then trying to mess your head up...but i believe that men who cry have something to hide the biggest emotion that would cause a human to cry especially for a man is pure and utter guilt or trying to avoid a situation where he might be questioned and he wont be able to look you in the eye anyway i suppose not every man is the same i suppose but listen be adults and don't be children try to sit down and talk through things in a calm fashion because if not it could lead to either one of you getting angry and it wont solve anything then in future you will be afraid to approach each other:wa:

btw sorry i forgot to say, this was a little joke i shared. it was not mean't to be taken seriously :hmm:
:wa:

 

[AlHoda]

May Allah(SWT) keep you both together

Ameen. I am sure he didn't do anything wrong. The shaytan is just playing with your mind
:wa:.

 

[cat eyes]

sister i can assure you i do not hate men in fact i like alot of the brothers on IB they are very good mashaAllah and alot of the men my friends are married too are good also so i would really appreciate it if you did not cast judgments on me its a very disgusting trait to accuse someone like that, its a pretty serious thing to say to another sister that she hates her brothers and then you say that i don't know you but yet you sound like you know me?

if your having problems then don't take your anger out on the people who are trying to help. i will no longer be replying to this thread. and i find it quiet odd that you are just a new member but you said you have read all my posts in the short time you are here that would be impossible and i just want to remind you again that you cannot know me and you will never know me because i am a very kind caring loving person and i would give my right arm to another brother or sister if they were in any type of trouble id do anything to do help probably one of the reasons i come to this forum so much because it makes me cry to see so many my brothers and sisters having a problems but anyway y am i telling you for. you seem to have me all figured out already ya i like to share a joke here and there... i like to tease some of the brothers i don't mean anything by it and they already know that i am sure that i love my brothers and sisters deeply.

I am sorry to make this thread about me but its truth.
:wa:

 

[nilufer]

btw sorry i forgot to say, this was a little joke i shared. it was not mean't to be taken seriously :hmm:
:wa:

I didnt say that you are a bad person , You could be a good person but dont make jokes with peoples problems is not nice we are in a serious islamic forum and we are not in a jokes forum some people they came to the forum with tears and problems and they want to hear positive and logic opinion they dont want people telling them silly things and later on saying sorry it was a joke , For me i will forgive you but dont do it with anyone on this forum in future INSHALLAH

 

[nilufer]

Assalmou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Today i went for shopping in a halal shop because we have only one halal shop in our area and they always saw me with my husband but today i went by my self and there is one boy working there he always try to flirt with me and start talking to me with different way and always i ignore him today while iam shopping this boy told me that my husband just left the shop and i was in a big shock because i know that my husband is at work then sheytan playing with me and i called my husband accusing him while hes out side and he didnt come home and my husband swear that he is still at work and i didnt believe him then i put my husband in a bad situation at work because he called his manager and he spoke with me on the phone i really feel shame my self i dont know if i did right things or wrong things please your opinion and advice important to me jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

 

[nilufer]

Assalmou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Today i went for shopping in a halal shop because we have only one halal shop in our area and they always saw me with my husband but today i went by my self and there is one boy working there he always try to flirt with me and start talking to me with different way and always i ignore him today while iam shopping this boy told me that my husband just left the shop and i was in a big shock because i know that my husband is at work then sheytan playing with me and i called my husband accusing him while hes out side and he didnt come home and my husband swear that he is still at work and i didnt believe him then i put my husband in a bad situation at work because he called his manager and he spoke with me on the phone i really feel shame my self i dont know if i did right things or wrong things please your opinion and advice important to me jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Assalmou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Today i went for shopping in a halal shop because we have only one halal shop in our area and they always saw me with my husband but today i went by my self and there is one boy working there he always try to flirt with me and start talking to me with different way and always i ignore him today while iam shopping this boy told me that my husband just left the shop and i was in a big shock because i know that my husband is at work then sheytan playing with me and i called my husband accusing him while hes out side and he didnt come home and my husband swear that he is still at work and i didnt believe him then i put my husband in a bad situation at work because he called his manager and he spoke with me on the phone i really feel shame my self i dont know if i did right things or wrong things please your opinion and advice important to me jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,

Sister obviously, your husband married you because he found something attractive in you. Alhamdulillah, he loves you, so this, in itself, should be reassuring. If he observes the proper adab with these women, then you should not worry.

Instead, you should focus on setting--and meeting--your own personal, intellectual, spiritual, and marital goals.

The only person you should be comparing yourself with is yourself. Stop worrying about these other women. Assess where you are now and where you'd like to be. Then work towards that. It might be useful to read the life stories of the Prophet's wives and the female Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. If we devoted a fraction of our time to emulating their examples, then we' d have so much to focus on that is good and positive. Focus on what's good and positive for you and your husband and leave this suspicion alone. Seek refuge in Allah from shaytan. Give your husband the trust he deserves. After all, doesn't he trust you?

Again sister it is your insecurity issues. You should really consider speaking to a counsellor because you may have underlying issues from your past experiences. This will not go away until you take action because eventually it will cause a rift in your marriage because there is only so much a person can take and this insecurity came from an experience you may have had at an earlier point in your life and a counsellor will be able to establish what exactley is causing you to react like this. Try and find a Muslim sister counsellor if you can.

And Allah knows best.

 

[nilufer]

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,

Sister obviously, your husband married you because he found something attractive in you. Alhamdulillah, he loves you, so this, in itself, should be reassuring. If he observes the proper adab with these women, then you should not worry.

Instead, you should focus on setting--and meeting--your own personal, intellectual, spiritual, and marital goals.

The only person you should be comparing yourself with is yourself. Stop worrying about these other women. Assess where you are now and where you'd like to be. Then work towards that. It might be useful to read the life stories of the Prophet's wives and the female Companions, may Allah be pleased with them. If we devoted a fraction of our time to emulating their examples, then we' d have so much to focus on that is good and positive. Focus on what's good and positive for you and your husband and leave this suspicion alone. Seek refuge in Allah from shaytan. Give your husband the trust he deserves. After all, doesn't he trust you?

Again sister it is your insecurity issues. You should really consider speaking to a counsellor because you may have underlying issues from your past experiences. This will not go away until you take action because eventually it will cause a rift in your marriage because there is only so much a person can take and this insecurity came from an experience you may have had at an earlier point in your life and a counsellor will be able to establish what exactley is causing you to react like this. Try and find a Muslim sister counsellor if you can.

And Allah knows best.

Brother hamza iam not worry from any women because i know they dont exist in my husband life but why this boy yesterday in the shop told me that he saw my husband by himself in the shop and when i called my husband on the phone he said he is at work and he passed to me his manager ttalk to me on the phone and i heard workers working , My mind confused why this boy told me that is he a liar? is he after something ? thats question i need answer for it PS this boy is a flirt and always try to flirt with me but i ignored him please advice me JAZAKOUM ALLAH SWT kher

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Brother hamza iam not worry from any women because i know they dont exist in my husband life but why this boy yesterday in the shop told me that he saw my husband by himself in the shop and when i called my husband on the phone he said he is at work and he passed to me his manager ttalk to me on the phone and i heard workers working , My mind confused why this boy told me that is he a liar? is he after something ? thats question i need answer for it PS this boy is a flirt and always try to flirt with me but i ignored him please advice me JAZAKOUM ALLAH SWT kher

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister maybe this was a test for you. You should always trust your husband until it is proven without a doubt that he is lying or that he has clearly been caught out. You should NEVER believe anyone over your husband straight away until you have proof and evidance establishing that your husband is lying.

Also sister I would suggest that you avoid going to this shop and go to an alternative shop or get your husband to shop from their on his days off. A women should always go out in a jilbab along with her hijaab. As jilbabs are looser and more modest than most other types of clothing.


Also if a women wears makeup when going out then they should refrain from doing so as makeup should only be worn at home to beautify oneself for one's partner and not to beautify oneself for the world to see. One can wear very basic and light makeup but not as to look 'all made up' as this will surely bring undue attention. This includes Kohl and although kohl is a sunnah and is permissable to wear even when out it should be worn with caution as to not bring undue attention because it does beautify the eyes which are a big attraction for men. It is best to wear it when one is home with the husband as taking precaution is always better.

and Allah knows best

 

[nilufer]

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister maybe this was a test for you. You should always trust your husband until it is proven without a doubt that he is lying or that he has clearly been caught out. You should NEVER believe anyone over your husband straight away until you have proof and evidance establishing that your husband is lying.

Also sister I would suggest that you avoid going to this shop and go to an alternative shop or get your husband to shop from their on his days off. A women should always go out in a jilbab along with her hijaab. As jilbabs are looser and more modest than most other types of clothing.


Also if a women wears makeup when going out then they should refrain from doing so as makeup should only be worn at home to beautify oneself for one's partner and not to beautify oneself for the world to see. One can wear very basic and light makeup but not as to look 'all made up' as this will surely bring undue attention. This includes Kohl and although kohl is a sunnah and is permissable to wear even when out it should be worn with caution as to not bring undue attention because it does beautify the eyes which are a big attraction for men. It is best to wear it when one is home with the husband as taking precaution is always better.

and Allah knows best

Brother Hamza you are right jazaka ALLAH kher , I find out that the boy was a liar because he was after me to destroy my marriage hes a sick boy and i decide to not go to that shop anymore even my husband said that he will do the shopping by himself thank you very much