cant do it...just CANT :(

  • Thread starter Thread starter anonymous
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 37
  • Views Views 5K
:sl:
Sis, I know you've probably heard this over and over again. But, it just takes time and a lot of patience. Trust me, over time it won't hurt anymore.

What more can you do than have sabr and make du'a? Leave it up to Allaah and insha Allaah He will do what is best for you, your dunya wal akhirah.

Keep yourself busy, concentrate on your 'ibadah especially this blessed month. When you feel yourself thinking about him, read qur'an, make dhikr, pray 2 raka'at..

"Verily in the Remembrance of Allaah, do hearts find rest"

You CAN do it, trust in Allaah, make du'a, have sabr and you WILL do it!
 
But you are not letting yourself let go. Because currently you live in the hopes he might someday be yours although you at the same time despair. In the state you currently are in, you tell yourself it is better to be like this, loving him but still him being yours (in your heart) than loosing him completely by letting yourself go of him and emotionally set him free, free from the dreams in your mind and heart.

No one can help you to do this, you have to find the strength to let him free from your heart by yourself. The lover who gets only pain. Such a sad tragedy. When it never had to continue like that, no it doesn't have to. Too stubborn to give up, thinking giving up is a loss itself in the fields of love. Sometimes giving up shows more strength than continuing to fight.
What you fight for, is neither for the sake of Allah nor is it good for you, it gives you only pain but the dreams and sweetness in your heart when thinking of him is too much of a desire to let go.

It's like a sweet sin, you know it is wrong but it feels too good doing it. Currently, not even reminding you that better is at sight or that patience plants the most beautiful fruits makes you want to leave that sin.

How sad isn't that. Like trapped in quicksand, any movements of wanting to set free only gets you deeper in.

How I pity you. I was one in the quicksand aswell, trapped. Still struggling to get out, but I have made much progress alhamdulillaah. Someone is pulling me out, slowly but steadily. I called for His help and He is helping me, alhamdulillaah. I keep calling and sometimes the amount of time I have spent in that quicksand makes me frustrated and I feel like loosing the hold of this help, but I do not let myself, for the one heping me is the most Beautiful and I want to be strong infront of Him. I want to make Him satisified with me, for the greatest love and care, I can only get from Him.

Allah.


May Allah subhaana Wa ta'ala always guide you and grant you strength, may Allah subhaana Wa ta'ala reward you for all your trials you have to go through and make the grave a pleasent place for you to stay until the doors of Jannah be opened up for you. Ameen thumma ameen!
 
...been so long...had feelings for someone...just cant seem to move on from them...too many memories... :exhausted too much love for them...it hurts...i dont know anymore...sometimes i get so angry all over again...:-[why...ive never asked allah for anything in worldly matters apart from that person...yet i cant get him...i dont know...this pain is going to kill me...if allah can do anything he wants then why cant i be with that person...:? why cant allah make him good for me and my deen and my aakhirah and let us get married, and make us a way to jannah for each other...i dont know...:cry:



ALLAH HU AKBAR!!!! i know what u exactly mean, i hate to admit it, oh sis, pray to Allah SWT, he will do best for you inshallah, stop punishing yourself, dont cry huney, HAVE Yakeen and Trust in Allah SWT he will give us the best of husbands inshallah tala.
 
Last edited:
"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." -
-- Kahlil Gibran
 
...been so long...had feelings for someone...just cant seem to move on from them...too many memories... too much love for them...it hurts...i dont know anymore...sometimes i get so angry all over again...why...ive never asked allah for anything in worldly matters apart from that person...yet i cant get him...i dont know...this pain is going to kill me...if allah can do anything he wants then why cant i be with that person... why cant allah make him good for me and my deen and my aakhirah and let us get married, and make us a way to jannah for each other...i dont know...
Sis u need to be paitent...i've been in a similar situation not that long ago...and dhikar and pateince does help...u need to focus on other things...and try to get your mind off it....and if its ment to be...then by allah's mercy it will be.....these things jus take tym..:statisfie
 
Why you don't think in this way: according to the teachings the man :-\ its the head of the family. That means, at least, according with the books, the man is much stronger than the woman and its able to fight for his family. Lets not argue over this theory.

If he would have feelings for you, he should in the first place to make everything to be with you in a legal manner. If he is not moving a finger to do that, and just sit back and wait to "lets see what will happens in the next 10 years" then my advice would be to forget him. Don't enter in a family where everything its left on your head.

Better sit alone :)
 
This is what happens when you don't stick to Islam and Islamic manners. You say why can't Allah make you two good for each other and means of jannah and other stuff. How can you even ask for blessing of something that was born out of haraam? It's like a rapist telling the Judge, why can't he marry the rapist to his victim because he loves her. Don't blame Allah for not giving you what your heart desires, your pain is fruits of your actions.

042:030 "And any misfortune that happens to you is a consequence of what your hands have earned. And He overlooks much."

Either you can you dwell or do one of two things. One is that Prophet(saws) said if two people are in love then they should be married. If that is not the case for you, then learn to get over it, repent for your ways and return to Allah and be patient so He can bless you with someone better inshallah.
 
"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." -
-- Kahlil Gibran

Lol nice sis...:) If you love somebody you set them free, if they return to you it was meant to be. If they dont...their love was never yours to keep. SubhanAllah its all about leaving all ur affairs to Allah (swt)

This is what happens when you don't stick to Islam and Islamic manners. You say why can't Allah make you two good for each other and means of jannah and other stuff. How can you even ask for blessing of something that was born out of haraam? It's like a rapist telling the Judge, why can't he marry the rapist to his victim because he loves her. Don't blame Allah for not giving you what your heart desires, your pain is fruits of your actions.

042:030 "And any misfortune that happens to you is a consequence of what your hands have earned. And He overlooks much."

Either you can you dwell or do one of two things. One is that Prophet(saws) said if two people are in love then they should be married. If that is not the case for you, then learn to get over it, repent for your ways and return to Allah and be patient so He can bless you with someone better inshallah.

:thumbs_up
 
salam alaikum sis,

sis why cant you? why do you even sit there and tell yourself that you cant?
what is it that is holding you back!?!
your sitting there pitying and asking "why is Allah swt doing this and that"
why you asking us these questions? when you know the answers yourself and you know them too well. but your in a state of denial... sis Wallah wake up for your own sake and salvation...

wake up out of this state of denial and accept it... I spent too long doing the same what your doing with my husband and i held on... but guess what mine was halal yet it still happened to me... its qadr... theres nothing that i can do about it... ok i hung on for so long and bore it with patience thinking my duas will be answered and made so much dua but this is what was best for me and same to you as well...

im not saying that my duas have gone answered never Allah swt says call Me and i shall answer... so they will be answered but in the best way.

i was never bothered about any worldy things the only thing i ever wanted and truly prayed for was my husband and for us to spend the rest of our lives together...

you know we dont get granted vip access to jannah just cos we are born muslims or recite the shahada... we have to work **** hard for it..

Allah swt clearly tells us that He will test us in this world with hardships, with loss of children, wealth, calamities but the best way to pass these tests are with patience and believe and full trust in Allah swt that everything He is doing is for the best for YOUR best... i know its hard Wallah i know how hard it is... but i promise you sis you may think so otherwise right now cos your hurting but it is for the best cos only He knows best...

so you kick that shaytaan right in the butt and tell it where to go... to hell where it belongs and pick yourself right up and turn to Him in full submission make your heartfelt sincere duas and leave the rest to Him and i promise you the outcome will be 100000000000000 times better.

Just like He swt has inflicted that pain upon your heart only He can remove it... read, recite the Quran it is the only remedy to cure and heal your heart... stay steadfast in salah and purify yourself, make your imaan strong and focus on building your imaan cos that is the only thing that will get you to living the best way that we should be living in this dunya that is nothing but mere dillusion.

make loads of dua and leave it to Him... If He is for you Wallah i promise you even if you run to the furthest part of the world and hide in caves just to run away from him he will be your husband and if he is not then you can spend the rest of your life trying to gain him but without success... Allah swt knows best so just leave your affairs to Him put your trust i Him and see Insha'Allah in time everything will be fine.

I pray that He disposes your affairs for you, heals your heart and makes your hardship easy and bestows your reliefs upon you Insha'Allah... always keeps you guided and corrects you in alll your affairs and in the end bestows Jannatul firduas upon you Insha'Allah.
 
...been so long...had feelings for someone...just cant seem to move on from them...too many memories... :exhausted too much love for them...it hurts...i dont know anymore...sometimes i get so angry all over again...:-[why...ive never asked allah for anything in worldly matters apart from that person...yet i cant get him...i dont know...this pain is going to kill me...if allah can do anything he wants then why cant i be with that person...:? why cant allah make him good for me and my deen and my aakhirah and let us get married, and make us a way to jannah for each other...i dont know...:cry:



Only Allah SWT knows what good or bad for you and knows the matters of the unseen. You might be wishing for something that could bring a great deal of harm for you in the future. Allah SWT could be protecting you from it...Only Allah knows so look turn towards Allah SWT and ask him to either make it happen or replace it with something that is better.

Allah SWT says in his Glorious Quran
"It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know. (Al-Baqarah 2:216)"
 
But you are not letting yourself let go. Because currently you live in the hopes he might someday be yours although you at the same time despair. In the state you currently are in, you tell yourself it is better to be like this, loving him but still him being yours (in your heart) than loosing him completely by letting yourself go of him and emotionally set him free, free from the dreams in your mind and heart.

No one can help you to do this, you have to find the strength to let him free from your heart by yourself. The lover who gets only pain. Such a sad tragedy. When it never had to continue like that, no it doesn't have to. Too stubborn to give up, thinking giving up is a loss itself in the fields of love. Sometimes giving up shows more strength than continuing to fight.
What you fight for, is neither for the sake of Allah nor is it good for you, it gives you only pain but the dreams and sweetness in your heart when thinking of him is too much of a desire to let go.

It's like a sweet sin, you know it is wrong but it feels too good doing it. Currently, not even reminding you that better is at sight or that patience plants the most beautiful fruits makes you want to leave that sin.

How sad isn't that. Like trapped in quicksand, any movements of wanting to set free only gets you deeper in.

How I pity you. I was one in the quicksand aswell, trapped. Still struggling to get out, but I have made much progress alhamdulillaah. Someone is pulling me out, slowly but steadily. I called for His help and He is helping me, alhamdulillaah. I keep calling and sometimes the amount of time I have spent in that quicksand makes me frustrated and I feel like loosing the hold of this help, but I do not let myself, for the one heping me is the most Beautiful and I want to be strong infront of Him. I want to make Him satisified with me, for the greatest love and care, I can only get from Him.

Allah.


May Allah subhaana Wa ta'ala always guide you and grant you strength, may Allah subhaana Wa ta'ala reward you for all your trials you have to go through and make the grave a pleasent place for you to stay until the doors of Jannah be opened up for you. Ameen thumma ameen!

do i know you? you said exactly how i feel. subhanallah
 
salam alaikum sis,

sis why cant you? why do you even sit there and tell yourself that you cant?
what is it that is holding you back!?!
your sitting there pitying and asking "why is Allah swt doing this and that"
why you asking us these questions? when you know the answers yourself and you know them too well. but your in a state of denial... sis Wallah wake up for your own sake and salvation...

wake up out of this state of denial and accept it... I spent too long doing the same what your doing with my husband and i held on... but guess what mine was halal yet it still happened to me... its qadr... theres nothing that i can do about it... ok i hung on for so long and bore it with patience thinking my duas will be answered and made so much dua but this is what was best for me and same to you as well...

im not saying that my duas have gone answered never Allah swt says call Me and i shall answer... so they will be answered but in the best way.

i was never bothered about any worldy things the only thing i ever wanted and truly prayed for was my husband and for us to spend the rest of our lives together...

you know we dont get granted vip access to jannah just cos we are born muslims or recite the shahada... we have to work **** hard for it..

Allah swt clearly tells us that He will test us in this world with hardships, with loss of children, wealth, calamities but the best way to pass these tests are with patience and believe and full trust in Allah swt that everything He is doing is for the best for YOUR best... i know its hard Wallah i know how hard it is... but i promise you sis you may think so otherwise right now cos your hurting but it is for the best cos only He knows best...

so you kick that shaytaan right in the butt and tell it where to go... to hell where it belongs and pick yourself right up and turn to Him in full submission make your heartfelt sincere duas and leave the rest to Him and i promise you the outcome will be 100000000000000 times better.

Just like He swt has inflicted that pain upon your heart only He can remove it... read, recite the Quran it is the only remedy to cure and heal your heart... stay steadfast in salah and purify yourself, make your imaan strong and focus on building your imaan cos that is the only thing that will get you to living the best way that we should be living in this dunya that is nothing but mere dillusion.

make loads of dua and leave it to Him... If He is for you Wallah i promise you even if you run to the furthest part of the world and hide in caves just to run away from him he will be your husband and if he is not then you can spend the rest of your life trying to gain him but without success... Allah swt knows best so just leave your affairs to Him put your trust i Him and see Insha'Allah in time everything will be fine.

I pray that He disposes your affairs for you, heals your heart and makes your hardship easy and bestows your reliefs upon you Insha'Allah... always keeps you guided and corrects you in alll your affairs and in the end bestows Jannatul firduas upon you Insha'Allah.

jazakallah sis
 
...been so long...had feelings for someone...just cant seem to move on from them...too many memories... :exhausted too much love for them...it hurts...i dont know anymore...sometimes i get so angry all over again...:-[why...ive never asked allah for anything in worldly matters apart from that person...yet i cant get him...i dont know...this pain is going to kill me...if allah can do anything he wants then why cant i be with that person...:? why cant allah make him good for me and my deen and my aakhirah and let us get married, and make us a way to jannah for each other...i dont know...:cry:



:sl:

I'm so sorry your going through a hard time sister. Please take my advice, be patient and have faith in Allah.

Let me tell you something. Early last year I was going through exactly the same as you. I wanted to be with someone who just wasn't ment for me. I used to cry day in day out, I felt hopeless, I felt like no one could help me. I didn't want to live without him, he was my everything.

I prayed as much as I could, I had faith in Allah, I wasn't very patient, but you know what? I learnt to be patient because there was nothing else I could do. It was out of my hands. I left my affairs to Allah and I put my trust in Allah alone.

Right now, you probably don't want to get over him, you just want him to be yours for life right?

Believe that this is happening for a reason and you won't know what that reason is until later. Be patient, what else can you do? It is out of your control, have faith, and pray as much as you can. Everything will be fine. Things will get better.

Here I am, over a year later, totally over him. I am so much happier now then I was back then. It's all about patience and putting your trust in Allah. I got over him and it does take time, but I got there in the end.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. After night comes day, after your pain there will be ease.

You know something, I never knew as much as I know now about Islam. I never used to pray as much as I do now, I hardly had faith when things went wrong. I believe we go through trials and tribulations because they bring us closer to Allah.

We hardly remember Allah when we are happy do we? When we are sad, who do we turn to? Allah makes us go through difficult times to remind us He is there and to make us stronger.

Since the heartache I went through, I am so much closer to Allah, Alhumdulilah. Now when I look back, I am glad I went through it. I wouldn't know as much as I know now and I wouldn't have learnt as much as I've learned over the past year or so.

Just remember, Allah is always there for you. Just ask for anything you like and He will either give you something better, give you what you want, or He will reward you in hereafter.

It is Ramazan, what better time to ask?

InshahAllah I will remember you in my Duas. Have faith sister and everything will be fine. :)
 
nothing helps more then to stop trying to fix it and staying away from everything which reminds you of it :D
 
Hi Tanya, can i just ask do u still see this guy around at all? because im in the same kind of situation, and i will be living in the same halls as my ex so im really worried abt it
 
Hi Tanya, can i just ask do u still see this guy around at all? because im in the same kind of situation, and i will be living in the same halls as my ex so im really worried abt it

:sl: sister.

I don't see him around as he has moved to a different area. I did however speak to him recently after a whole year and I found out he is in love with someone who doesn't give him the time of day. He opened his heart out to me, just like that and he was almost in tears. I think he so badly wanted to speak to someone. He kept telling me he wants to die because he can't live without her. I wasn't happy that he is so miserable, I pray for him and I pray things get better for him InshahAllah.

The best feeling for me was that I had no feelings for him when I heard his voice after so long and I felt nothing when he told me he loves somebody else. I also thought to myself, he hurt me so bad in the past, maybe it's all coming back to him now. I am a very strong believer of what goes around comes around. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't wish ill-health or bad luck on anyone, but his time had to come. If you hurt someone as bad as he hurt me, then sooner of later it will come back round on them.

The way I feel about him now, I never thought I'd feel a year ago. I thought I'd never get over him.

Tell me something sister, why are you worried about bumping into your ex? What happened between you two, if you don't mind me asking?
 
Last edited:
sis maybe u should read my other posts, theres quite a few lol. theres 2 called salaam some help and guidance needed please, 1 called calling out to all brothers and sisters and another 1 called what 2 do :-(

im going back in a few weeks, im still worried about it but i have calmed down over the past 4 days as i was gettin really down about it alhamdulilah
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top