Don't Go, I Hate You.

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Haha u really need to work harder on ur math.Thank you for the ayah btw, it helps. Because yes, I do feel like I'm fallen. I feel unloved. Lonely. Miserable. Even despised. Not by other people, but by the ones I love. Yes, even my parents. I know they love me, but I can't see it, I can't feel it. Maybe they are the kind who don't feel comfortable showing their love. I know they love me so much. I don't blame them. It's my fault for being so needy. I remember crying when I was quite young because I felt like my mother hated me. I would get nightmares about my parents chasing me, their faces angry and fierce, trying to hit me. But I don't know what made me get such nightmares, Shaitan obviously! But no matter how many pep talks I give to myself, it's always in there you know, that feeling of being unloved. It's so wrong. So evil. But evwrytime I see my family together, having a good time, I would go join them and suddenly, it's like the tension has risen. I can see in their faces that they don't want me there. When I say something it is always wrong. Somehow I find myself reeling with hurt and tears stinging my eyes. It is always like that. It's my fault. I don't know how but I know it is. Maybe I'm not good at talking. Maybe I didn't turn out to be the kinda girl my mom wants me to be. I do feel sometimes that my family would be better off without me.
These days I stay away from them as much as possible. I'm always up in my room, curled up on the bed, skipping meals and avoiding them whenever I could. Becaise I know that if I'm around, someone wouod get hurt. Who can I tell all this to? My mom or dad are the last people I could talk to abouy my problems. I have neber evwr told them my problems, evwn when I was a kid. They wouod never understand me. Maybe because I don't know to speak clearly or something. But I know they love me. But sometimes, I do wish thwre would be someone to tell me that they loved me, to hold me when I'm sad, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold. &lt;br&gt;<br><br>I can't help feeling that is why I fell for this guy. Because deep inaide I know he isn't right for me. I hace never spoken to a non mahram before and he was the only one I spoke to. That too because he is my cousin. But things turned out differely and I started thinking maybe I found the one. I started falling into this dream world full of fantasies and hopes and a fairy tale life. Someone loved me? No way! But when I found that he didn't, everything came crashing down. Love left me just when I thought I had it. How stupid and thoughtless of me. Now I must sound like a whining fool. Worrying about feeling unloved when there are...children in Africa who are starving, homeless kids without parents, children who are abused and sold for money! I just feel better now. Letting out what Ive stored up inside for so long
But I know Allah loves me. I don't need anything else. If Allah loves me then it is enough.
 
(sister/brother)anonymous, I understand. Of course i dontt expect you to come to a conclusion that I really do have a disorder or something. I was just....u know, I thought maybe if there is a trained psychiatrist or someone here on islamic board, then maybe they could help me??:embarrass guess i was expecting too much.
But i cant even begin to tell how thankful i am to you, for your kind concern and helpful advise.
 
Anonymous sister, you think too much. Relax your mind. Let go of all your emotions. Forget everything and everyone. Sit alone somewhere at night when all else is asleep and remember Allah. Just contemplate on Allah and nothing else and make dua afterwards. Do that as often as you can. In sha Allah you'll feel less stressed.
 
^ thats exactly what i was gng to say :p

Assalam o alikum

hey dear sis anonymous the akhi is right you need to relax srsly let go of things take a break you're not possessed by a jinn and neither are u a psyco. You're just hurt thats all and it'll take time for you to get better. i would suggest you to something that would make u happy would take ur mind off of things.

Pray alot start doing dhikr , recite the quran alot draw ur self closer to Allah inshaAllah you'll b ok

Don't worry you'll b fine ur perfectly fine alhumdulillah ur no psyco my dear sis everyone over here is trying to help u :)

keep smiling its a sunnah!

take good care

may Allah make things easy for u ameen :)
 
you don't need a psychiatrist i know ur perfectly fine sis turn to Allah trust me you'll be ok, you'll b happy again inshaAllah

Ask Allah for help He's always there...
 
Anonymous sister.

Alpha Dude gave you the best advice anyone can ever offer. Over thinking can really burden us with unknown fears of the future. Put your trust in Allah. Move on and pray to Allah. He will help you and forget about these things. Think about things that make you feel more tranquil and peaceful. Shun out all thoughts that are not and keep remebering Allah. There is always ease where there is hardship. Search for the wise and good things you've learnt from this experience. Most importantly count your blessings and think about those whom are more tested than you are.


My prayers are with you.

I am not the OP.
 
Alpha Dudes on the mark

Allaahs waiting for you to empty it all out so he can start helping you so start emptying !

inshAllaah overtime you will feel less need for human approval
 
Periwinkle!!!! Ur back!!! :)))))
Go Alpha Dude!
Hmmm...yea good point brother IAH. I do sound pretty desperate for human approval :/
I feel a lot better now alhamdulillah. Thanks guys! :)
 
Yup :)

Yayyy Alhumdulilah I'm glad u feel better :) may Allah keep u happy always ameen
 
Oh! I don't believe I jst said that! About my family n......... That's not right. I'm fine. I'm not psycho either. I'm fine.
 

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